(#) slaphanson 2006-12-04Wow, I have to say this is one of your the better chapters of this story, the last scene is brilliant I really can't wait to see how Harry gets out this fine situation with out getting in to much trouble. It's nice to see Harry growing up and noticing that the world is not black and white. Keep up the good work and update this story soon I can't wait.
Sorry I know that your not going to updates just because I say so I'm happy to wait until the next update.
Author's responseWorking on chapter 16 now.~Jim
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2006-12-04Absolutely brilliant! I never would've seen Paulo's betrayal coming, at least not in that direction. I assumed he wanted Karina for himself, which is what you probably wanted your readers to think. Very well done.
PLEASE update this one in a hurry! I can't help but look forward to seeing more.
Author's responseI probably could have dropped a few more hints, but I wanted you the reader to be as blindsided as Harry was. He never saw it coming. Chapter 16 starts today.~Jim
- Not sure where you're going with 'Loony', and let's hope Harry gets out of this mess. I guess that depends on if the Don considers Harry a loose end or not.
Author's responseNeither Harry nor Luna are very good with relationships. Luan hides behind Looney and Harry hides behind angry brooding. It's a volatile combo.~Jim
(#) foolishwandwaver 2006-12-05Well now THAT was a surprise ending for the chapter. Never seen that coming. I do agree with Harry getting a bit miffed with Looney instead of Luna. I mean who wants to figure out Looney when your recovering from a Korean hit-wizard style 'lesson' and have everything else going on that he does?
It would be wise for Harry to explain that Luna is for now while Looney is for lazy Sunday afternoons with nothing much going on. But that is only my opinion for what it's worth.
Question... will you keep going with this story, or does it end at the beginning?
Author's responseNeither Harry nor Luna are good with relationships. It'll boil over in this chapter. The story ends with Harry preparing to return to England. The sequel picks up there.~Jim
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