Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love Knows No Age
Monica's Hidden Pain
9 reviewsMonica tell Gerard about her husband, and the pain she suffered.
3Moving
He could not begin to believe what he was seeing. Her flesh was so scarred. Gerard started to get up off the bed and go to her but her words stopped him.
"Please Gerard, stay there. What I have to say is hard enough without looking into your eyes." She still faced the door; "I got pregnant and had Kara when I was eighteen. Kyle and I had been dating for about a year. I thought he was wonderful, that my life with him would be wonderful. Funny thing, it was a good life until after Kelly was born. He treated me so good and we were happy but then he changed. Suddenly after she was born he didn't want me going out with my friends anymore. We would stay home together. I really didn't mind but then it got to the point where I couldn't even talk to anyone on the phone. He even hated me talking to my mother. Still, he had never abused me he just was smothering me. When Kelly was one I got pregnant again but this time when I told him we were going to have another baby he flew into a rage. He called me a slut and said it wasn't his. He slapped me and knocked me down."
He voice was shaky "Then he started kicking me. I tried to get away but the blows just kept coming. He left me on the floor and walked away. When I tried to get up I felt a terrible pain and I knew in my heart I had lost the baby. He came back an hour latter, and told me to go to the hospital. He told me to tell them I had fallen down our flight of stairs. I just starred at this stranger who was my husband. He had gone mad. I started for the door when he told me that if I told anyone the truth he would kill Kara and Kelly. In a dead voice said he would put a pillow over their faces until they stopped moving."
Once again he tried to go to her but she pleaded, "Please stay there and let me finish this. He really would have killed them. I drove myself to the hospital and they admitted me. It was much more serious then I realized. I not only lost my baby I lost any chance I would ever have for another child. Kyle came and pretended to by the distraught husband. God, he actually cried when they told him I could never have another child. When he took me home he told me that if I ever told anyone he would kill the girls. He said that I could go to the police but that he would find me no matter how long it would take. I knew he was telling the truth. He told me in a very calm voice told me that from then on I would do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He never said he would kill me, he always said he would kill the girls. I had no one to turn to. No friends, just my mother who was in dying. I couldn't tell her she was already in Hospice care. So I kept quiet and soon he decided the best way to punish me was to cut my back. That way no one would see. Not that he ever let me go anywhere but he didn't want the girls to see. He would punish me if dinner wasn't perfect, or the house not clean enough or I didn't please him in bed" She began crying "He would make me stand naked with my back to him and make shallow cuts. If I resisted he would remind me what he would do to the girls. All I could do was thank God everyday that he never laid a hand on them. To them he was a great dad. To me behind closed doors he was a monster. I was so weak, I should have fought back. I hate that I let him do that to me but." she was sobbing "I had to protect the girls. And still I protect them, their memories. They have no idea what their father did to me."
He had never felt such an intense hatred as he did towards the man who had done this to her. Nothing could stop him now, he went to her. She felt his presence and tensed knowing her mangled flesh must repel him. He simply leaned down and kissed her back, he kissed the scars. "These scars show the beauty of your love for your daughters. They show the strength you possess, the pain you endured. God, Monica you are truly a beautiful woman."
His words touched her soul. Suddenly her knees buckled and he caught her in his arms. He took her to the bed, pulled back the covers and laid her down gently. He stripped off his own shirt and lay next to her. Gathering her up in his arms he pulled her to him. Her robe was still around her waist. He needed to feel her flesh next to his. She was silently crying, her tears hot on his skin. Gerard pulled the blanket over them and murmured, "I love you. Close your eyes and sleep." He understood she was emotionally drained. All he wanted was for her to feel safe in his arms. "Honey, I will never let anything hurt you or the girls. Everything will be alright now." She cried harder and shook her head. Her mind was so numb. She had told him the truth that she had buried for so long.
It was a bit later that Gerard got a text. Mikey was letting him know that they were on their way home. Gerard had called him when Monica was in the shower to let them know she was OK. He brushed her hair from her face "Sugar, they are all on their way home." He got up and found a nightgown for her. She didn't open her eyes as he slid it on her then pulled the blankets up. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and whispered, "I love you" before leaving the room. Silently he prayed he would find a way to make her believe in his love and let go of the fear.
"Please Gerard, stay there. What I have to say is hard enough without looking into your eyes." She still faced the door; "I got pregnant and had Kara when I was eighteen. Kyle and I had been dating for about a year. I thought he was wonderful, that my life with him would be wonderful. Funny thing, it was a good life until after Kelly was born. He treated me so good and we were happy but then he changed. Suddenly after she was born he didn't want me going out with my friends anymore. We would stay home together. I really didn't mind but then it got to the point where I couldn't even talk to anyone on the phone. He even hated me talking to my mother. Still, he had never abused me he just was smothering me. When Kelly was one I got pregnant again but this time when I told him we were going to have another baby he flew into a rage. He called me a slut and said it wasn't his. He slapped me and knocked me down."
He voice was shaky "Then he started kicking me. I tried to get away but the blows just kept coming. He left me on the floor and walked away. When I tried to get up I felt a terrible pain and I knew in my heart I had lost the baby. He came back an hour latter, and told me to go to the hospital. He told me to tell them I had fallen down our flight of stairs. I just starred at this stranger who was my husband. He had gone mad. I started for the door when he told me that if I told anyone the truth he would kill Kara and Kelly. In a dead voice said he would put a pillow over their faces until they stopped moving."
Once again he tried to go to her but she pleaded, "Please stay there and let me finish this. He really would have killed them. I drove myself to the hospital and they admitted me. It was much more serious then I realized. I not only lost my baby I lost any chance I would ever have for another child. Kyle came and pretended to by the distraught husband. God, he actually cried when they told him I could never have another child. When he took me home he told me that if I ever told anyone he would kill the girls. He said that I could go to the police but that he would find me no matter how long it would take. I knew he was telling the truth. He told me in a very calm voice told me that from then on I would do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. He never said he would kill me, he always said he would kill the girls. I had no one to turn to. No friends, just my mother who was in dying. I couldn't tell her she was already in Hospice care. So I kept quiet and soon he decided the best way to punish me was to cut my back. That way no one would see. Not that he ever let me go anywhere but he didn't want the girls to see. He would punish me if dinner wasn't perfect, or the house not clean enough or I didn't please him in bed" She began crying "He would make me stand naked with my back to him and make shallow cuts. If I resisted he would remind me what he would do to the girls. All I could do was thank God everyday that he never laid a hand on them. To them he was a great dad. To me behind closed doors he was a monster. I was so weak, I should have fought back. I hate that I let him do that to me but." she was sobbing "I had to protect the girls. And still I protect them, their memories. They have no idea what their father did to me."
He had never felt such an intense hatred as he did towards the man who had done this to her. Nothing could stop him now, he went to her. She felt his presence and tensed knowing her mangled flesh must repel him. He simply leaned down and kissed her back, he kissed the scars. "These scars show the beauty of your love for your daughters. They show the strength you possess, the pain you endured. God, Monica you are truly a beautiful woman."
His words touched her soul. Suddenly her knees buckled and he caught her in his arms. He took her to the bed, pulled back the covers and laid her down gently. He stripped off his own shirt and lay next to her. Gathering her up in his arms he pulled her to him. Her robe was still around her waist. He needed to feel her flesh next to his. She was silently crying, her tears hot on his skin. Gerard pulled the blanket over them and murmured, "I love you. Close your eyes and sleep." He understood she was emotionally drained. All he wanted was for her to feel safe in his arms. "Honey, I will never let anything hurt you or the girls. Everything will be alright now." She cried harder and shook her head. Her mind was so numb. She had told him the truth that she had buried for so long.
It was a bit later that Gerard got a text. Mikey was letting him know that they were on their way home. Gerard had called him when Monica was in the shower to let them know she was OK. He brushed her hair from her face "Sugar, they are all on their way home." He got up and found a nightgown for her. She didn't open her eyes as he slid it on her then pulled the blankets up. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and whispered, "I love you" before leaving the room. Silently he prayed he would find a way to make her believe in his love and let go of the fear.
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