FicWad

Ray showed up while Gerard was talking to Donna. Monica was slightly curious because Mikey and Alicia looked strange when they came back into the living room and sat down. Mikey kept looking towards the kitchen. Ten minutes later Gerard came back in and sat down next to Monica. He seemed fine but she could tell Mikey wasn't convinced his brother was OK.
"Man, is my fucking apartment trashed" Ray complained. "I'm never going to get it cleaned up." He shook his head "About the time I get it back together we will be leaving on tour."
"When do you leave?" Monica asked. She knew Gerard would be leaving again but had been trying to put it out of her mind. Everything would change when he left. She didn't want to think about it.
"Our first concert is on the 3rd of January in Chicago. So we will be leaving on the 2nd. Tour bus life here we come again." Ray laughed, "at times I actually miss it."
Gerard added, "His apartment right now looks like our tour bus will look as soon as we get on. Man is it a shit hole. Not that it starts out that way but it just happens."
They sat and talked over all the crazy times they had had on past tours. Monica found their stories fascinating. These five men had more excitement in the past five years than most people had in a lifetime. And thru it all they stayed best of friends. No not really friends, they were all brothers.
Bob took Kara to her friend's house and looked so unhappy when he returned. Monica was beginning to believe that they were much closer than she had originally believed. She tried not to worry but it wasn't easy.
Around midnight they finally decided to call it a night. Gerard walked everyone outside to their cars. Monica was picking up the ashtrays to dump them when Gerard walked back inside. "Lots of snow out there." He casually walked behind Monica and before she realized what he was doing he had put snow down her back.
"Crap that's cold, Gerard" she jumped and tried to dislodge the icy mix from under her sweater. "I'm gonna get even, Way. Just know it now. You have to sleep sometime."
He caught her to him and hugged "Oh then I guess I will have to sleep with you so you can't just sneak up on me. Besides I wouldn't want you to be all alone you know with the girls gone and all." He nuzzled her neck with his lips that were still icy.
Monica sighed, "They may be gone but your mother is still in the house."
Gerard laughed "Come on Monica, I'm pretty sure mom wouldn't be shocked if we shared the same bed. Both adults here. Besides she has been asleep for hours."
The thought of being in the same bed as Gerard was making her heart beat faster and faster. God, this is what she wanted so badly. Would it be so wrong to spend the night with this man? They may not have a future together but they could have tonight.
Monica surprised him by kissing his neck and whispering, "Give me a few minutes before you come down." She could see he was surprised and very pleased. His breath quickened.
"Honey I will wait" his voice was so raspy "its hard..."" He pressed his body to hers, "so hard but I will wait"
She could feel just how hard it was. Her head fell back and she exposed her neck to him. He kissed her throat and she shuttered. Her voice was no more than a rough whisper "I'm not sorry at all its hard" She broke away "soon" was all she said before heading downstairs to the bedroom.
Monica got to the bedroom and turned on the small light by the bed. Her mind was trying to stop her but her body's need was much stronger. She quickly changed out of her clothes but then started to panic. Slipping on her nightgown she looked at the bed and all her fears came rushing back. She was older, she had had two children. Her body was not perfect. Would he look at her and see the imperfections? So many beautiful young girls would die to trade places with her. Why would he choose her?" She simply sat on the bed and tried to think. Ten minutes later he knocked on the door, She wanted this so much, more than she had ever wanted anything. She invited him in.
Gerard took one look at her and knew her thoughts were in turmoil. He closed the door and smiled. "Honey, it's going to be OK. I don't want you to do anything you aren't ready for." He walked over to the bed and sat down. Taking her hand he took it to his lips and gently kissed her fingertips.
Her eyes narrowed with desire. The man was simply gorgeous. She closed her eyes a moment then spoke "I'm scared. I'm afraid I will disappoint you. I've only been with one man in my life and evidently I disappointed him often" There were tears in her eyes. "My body isn't perfect, you have seen my back I'm scarred."
He silenced her with a kiss. With his lips softly brushing hers he spoke, "You are the most perfect woman I have ever known. You are beautiful inside and out. Have you stopped to think that maybe I have the same fears? I want to be perfect for you. What if I'm not?"
She pulled back slightly to look into his eyes "You are the most beautiful man I have ever known, inside and out." Her fingers traced his face, his lips. He opened his mouth and captured one of her fingers gently sucking it. She pulled it from his mouth and placed her lips on his. Her passion was building and the kiss was almost brutal.
He stood pulling her with him. Quickly he pulled the covers back and she laid down. She watched through hooded eyes as he removed his clothes. Her breath caught at the sight of him completely naked. Laying down he pulled her to him. "Can I take this off you?" he whispered, his fingers caressing her gown. She simply nodded and he slipped it off. The feel of her bare flesh on his was sweet agony.
"Monica if this isn't what you want, I will understand but you have to tell me now. We are so close to the point of no return and honey I just need to know you want this as much as I do. Tell me you want this man beside you, not the man the world sees on the stage. I need to know you want me," he pleaded.
She rose up on one elbow to gaze down at him, "I don't want the man beside me" she whispered. The hurt in his eyes was quickly replaced with hot desire when she added, "I want the man inside me" She kissed him with more passion than she had ever felt. Her lips slowly traveled down his neck to his chest. She wanted to kiss every inch of him. Throwing the blankets off him her lips burned a trail still lower. Her long hair swept across him like a satin blanket. Her breath, hot on his skin caused him to shutter. Slowly so slowly her lips finally reached his rock hard erection. Her tongue slowly moved up and down then circled him. Her mouth welcomed him. He was so hard, so ready. Monica raised her head to look at him.
He opened his eyes and smiled "Sugar, you are such sweet torture. Now its your turn." He pulled her back up so they were eye level then rolled her over so he was looking down at her. He cupped both her breasts in his palms. His hot mouth closed over one nipple then the other sucking it strongly into his mouth. She cried out in pleasure as she arched her back. Suddenly his mouth left her breast and his tongue traveled down her stomach going lower to the very core of her womanhood. "Fuck honey you are so wet, so hot." He began to slowly lick the hot moisture. Her hips rose to meet his thrusting tongue. She was so close but she held back. The sweet building tension was almost too much to take. She slipped from beneath him and in one swift move straddled his body. "Fuck me" was the expression he moaned.
Monica has never felt so sexy. They way he responded to her, his language, it made her body throb. She smiled seductively, "Oh yes I will fuck you Gerard" she purred. Slowly she lowered herself on to him. As he slid into her she arched her back and began moving on him, hungry for him. His hands reached up to cup her breasts gently pinching the nipples. The heat, the desire building. He knew she was trying to hold back.
"Let go, let go," he commanded. One final thrust and he exploded. She could feel his release pour into her so hot. Her body responded as waves of pleasure swept over her. The feeling was more intense than she had ever known. He pulled her down to his chest and held her while they both shook.
They lay together entwined, hearts pounding. Neither wanted to move to break the spell. Monica never knew it could be this way. She had never felt such a deep, sweet release. Gerard's fingers once again found her nipple and circled. He just needed to touch her. Gerard looked over at her and smiled. "So many nights I laid in this bed believing I would always be alone. Sometimes I would think it would be best if I just went to sleep and never woke up."
Monica looked into his eyes. He seemed lost in thought "Back then I would never have believed how my life would change. It scares me Monica. I have everything I have ever wanted and I'm afraid. What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this?"
"Gerard, I know. I'm scared too. I have never felt t his way before. I didn't think I would ever feel this way."
He sighed sitting up "Monica I have to say this, I love you. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone." He wanted to add so much more but that thought of driving her away stopped him.
Tears were in Monica's eyes. Her head told her to tell him she was sorry, she didn't love him. Her heart told her to tell him the truth. Her heart won "I love you Gerard" she whispered against his lips.