Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts > How to Do Dishes, Riku-Style
"It's okay, Sora. It's okay. The ball didn't hit you that hard."
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Reviews
How to Do Dishes, Riku-Style
(#) Kewsithydemon 2006-12-20
Good chappie, hope you update soon! Lol it makes him feel dirty? Interesting. What type of story is next? I noticed that you put more Sora in this one. I thought that was pretty cool. Well I must go now and actually work. T_T I'm so sad.
-KewsithydemonHow to Do Dishes, Riku-Style
(#) queenadreena 2007-01-14
this is so great; I love the description, the character interactions, everything. Please do update.How to Do Dishes, Riku-Style
(#) SinisterlySweet 2007-08-18
I really like your style and your ideas, but I can't help feeling there are stray words and sentances wandering about without any meaning. You're not alone, I do it all the time. Do you have a beta reader? My friends really help me with that. They once sent me a quote that was something like, "Spare words in writing are like spare lines in a drawing or spare parts in a machine, they don't do anything but gunk up your purpose," and I try to stick by it.
Otherwise, well planned and very well executed. You've captured the characters in a great way. I'd love to see more!Author's response
Hmm, I fail to see where my stray words and sentences are lying. Perhaps if you could give me an example I would know what to do with your criticism?
But anyway. Even if you pointed them out to me I wouldn't change anything. Those "superfluous words", they are contributing to my style. Here, it has a very lush, vibrant feel, and if I removed anything it would only deflate the story.
If this story was not based so much on emotion, I would take your criticism and edit accordingly. But unfortunately, it is. So, I'll just have to thank you for the review.
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