Categories > Original > Horror > A Demon Sleeps in a Blender
Moving in was never easy
3 reviewsIn this chapter, Alice and her family move into the new house. But as usual, it's a neverending litany of disasters. And Alice makes her first friend in Grinsville, although it's questionable wheth...
3Funny
A Demon Sleeps in the Blender
By: Kellyconcarne
Chapter 3
The two weeks following the Fooges' first trip to the mansion were hectic to say the least. Immediately after returning home, the Fooge family began to pack everything up in their house in Pittsburgh. For anyone who has ever had to move, which is, virtually everyone (unless you were born without legs and remained in one spot your whole life) it's easy to remember the challenges of moving. The Fooge family was not spared from any of these challenges. In fact they had to endure more, thanks to Charlotte.
Unbeknownst to the world except those who are connected to the cat clothes designer business, it is apparently not a very portable business. Charlotte's cat clothes had to be handled carefully. You couldn't stuff the 12 wide brimmed sun hats into one box; rather they have to be placed in 12 boxes. And the ball gowns? Please, no one in their right mind would dare put them into a box. Charlotte demanded that the 400 small cat ballroom gowns be placed on racks, along with the 4 racks of sun dresses, 6 racks of Christmas attire, 10 racks of cat sweaters, and the 8 racks of costume apparel. Needless to say, the Fooge family required more than one moving truck. They required about 5. 2 of the trucks contained kitchen appliances, clothes, Alice's toys, 3 computers, tools, file cabinets, desk supplies, medicines, expensive china sets, various holiday decorations, CD players and CDs, videos and DVDs, and finally, the food from the fridge. 2 of the trucks were used for the cat clothes, leaving 1 truck which carried all of Charlotte's handbags, make-up, and shoes.
With all 5 moving trucks in tow, the Fooge family piled into their green minivan and drove to Grinsville. Alice let out a sigh of disappointment when she saw the large pink and white sign come into view.
"Where a grin goes a long way......to hell." She grumbled, sinking into her chair. Charlotte giggled and clapped her hands in joy.
"Oh Matthew! I love you!" She gushed, throwing her arms around Matthew, who was driving. Charlotte's arms pinned Matthew's down and her skin-damaging bright blonde hair, pulled up in a large poofy hair style on top of her head, blocked Matthew's vision. The car swerved out of control, spinning around in circles while everyone screamed. Matthew threw Charlotte back with a push.
What happened next could have made Alice enter a convent with joy. As Charlotte fell back, the front passenger door of the minivan, which had come loose recently, swung open. With a scream, Charlotte tumbled out of the car, which was still moving.
"Oh my god! Charlotte!" Matthew cried as he regained control of the steering wheel. Alice let out a cackle of delight. She turned around and looked back, hoping she hadn't missed the sight of Charlotte being crushed by the trucks carrying her horrible cat clothes.
"Do you see her?!" Matthew demanded as he pulled the car over.
"Nope, no sign of her. Oh well, tough luck Dad. I guess we should go." Alice said quickly with cheerful optimism. Matthew didn't listen as he jumped out of the car and hurried back to look for his wife. Alice stayed in the car and looked out the back window, watching eagerly. Then she saw something that made her heart stop and sink into her bladder: pink. Slowly, stumbling around like a teenager just after taking the SAT's, Charlotte rose from the grassy median, looking very stunned.
"No...oh God, no. Sweet Jesus, no." Alice whispered in disbelief as she watched Matthew hurry over to Charlotte. He adjusted his glasses and ran a hand through his short dark hair. He turned around and gave a thumbs up to Alice. Alice returned the gesture with one that was not quite so pleasant when Matthew turned his back. Alice dug her nails into the seat as she felt her rage boil up.
"No one would ever survive /that/. No one who wasn't spawned from the fiery pits of Satan's butt crack." She hissed, her voice shaking and her right eye twitching. She started digging through her backpack looking for a pencil so she could stab Charlotte in the eye with it when she returned, sending the demon away once and for all. She stopped when she heard a loud meow. In the front seat sat Fifi, Charlotte's fat white fluffy cat. Fifi was never to be let outside because she was too precious to Charlotte as her number one cat clothes model. The cat jumped into the backseat and onto Alice's lap. She began to rub her huge bushy tail in Alice's face.
"Aw, Fifi needs attention?" Alice asked in a babyish voice as she reached into her bag. Fife meowed and rubbed her butt against Alice's chest. Carefully, Alice took out a small black container and shook it in her hand.
"Oh yes, you're probably hungry aren't you? Poor Fifi, I'll feed you." She crooned as she took the top off the container. She waited until Fifi looked at her in the face then she pointed the black container with a label that read, "Mace for Kids! So much fun, you could be arrested!" at Fifi's eyes and pressed down on the nozzle.
A strong stream of pepper spray shot out from the nozzle into Fifi's pretty green eyes. The white cat let out a loud screech and tumbled off Alice's lap, hitting the floor with a loud thump. With scratching in vain at her eyes, Fifi jumped into the driver's seat but missed and fell out the window. Alice watched as Fifi rolled around, yowling, outside the car. She managed to get up onto her legs and took off running into the highway.
"Eat that, you fat slime ball." Alice sneered as she watched Fifi scamper around confused. She looked away to close the mace container when she heard a loud terrified meow and a truck honk, followed by a loud slam. Immediately her head snapped up when she heard the noise. She turned her eyes towards the window and saw the truck that was carrying Charlotte's hand-bags, make-up, and shoes drive away, with red and white splashed all over it's tires. A dark twisted smile slowly crossed over Alice's face. She was about to burst into maniacal laughter but then she saw her father and Charlotte returning to the car. Quickly she returned to her sulking face and took out her book, holding it in front of her.
"Can you believe that happened, Alice?!" Charlotte cried as she climbed back into the car, leaves and grass sticking out of her hair.
"I can't believe you're not dead." The 11 year old responded coldly. Charlotte giggled stupidly and cracked her neck.
"I know! Thank goodness I took gymnastics and remembered those rolls! Hey, Alice, maybe you should take gymnastics!" She suggested. Alice lowered the book and gave her a blank stare.
"Excuse me?"
Charlotte chuckled at Alice's face. "Oh Alice please, you would have fun! Can you imagine learning to do flips and rolls and jumping on those bars? It's so exciting! Maybe you can even go to the Olympics!"
Alice gasped excitedly, "Oh yeah! Then maybe I can get addicted to steroids so I look a Romanian giant! After that, I'll sell cereals with radioactive corn flakes that will give kids cancer! Finally, I'll end up living in a mobile home all alone and forgotten with my dog, Buster until a meteor strikes my home and kills me on impact!"
Her excited face quickly returned to its sarcastic normality. She glared at Charlotte and picked up her book, resuming her reading. Matthew sighed and shook his head.
"Let's just go to the house shall we?" He suggested while turning the car on.
An hour later they arrived at the mansion where the movers were beginning to unload the trucks and leaving everything in the lawn. Charlotte let out a gasp followed by a shriek of horror.
"Moths will get in the boxes!! My precious dresses mustn't be outside! The dirt! The leaves!" She screeched, slapping her hands on her cheeks. Quickly she threw open the door and hurried over to the movers. Charlotte proceeded to explain the delicacy of the cat clothes to the unshaved, fat movers, who were smoking and chewing tobacco while she related the expensiveness of taffeta urgently. Apparently Charlotte didn't realize that people in general, particularly unshaved, fat, tobacco addicted movers, could care less about cat clothes and their delicacy.
Alice meanwhile got out of the car and took her rolling suitcase with her. She ascended the steps to the house where Victor was waiting, his hands behind his back.
"Welcome back, Ms. Alice." He greeted, looking down at her. "I trust your journey was safe and sound."
"Well, it was safe and sound for me. I can't say the same about Charlotte." Alice said, glancing back at Charlotte with a smirk. "She had a bumpy ride."
"Did she? It would appear however she is unharmed which is what matters." Victor commented, looking past Alice to Charlotte.
"Unfortunately so." Alice sneered, walking past him into the house, dragging her luggage into the house. Victor turned and followed her.
"Shall I show you to your room?" He offered.
"I already know where it is, Mister Victor." She responded as she headed for the stairs.
"Ah, but do you know the secret passageways to it?" He asked as she pulled the luggage up a step. She stopped and turned her head back to him.
"Secret passageways?" Victor nodded with a smile. He held out a hand towards a hallway,
"This way, Miss Alice."
Alice looked at him then the hallway before pulling her luggage down the step and wheeling it up to him.
"After you, Mr. Victor." She responded with a small smile, looking up at him through her thick black glasses. He smiled and took the luggage from her hands.
"Call me Victor, Miss Alice. It's what I'm used to being called." He told her, as he led her down the hallway.
"Have you been here the whole time?" Alice asked, as she followed him to the study.
"Ever since it was first built by your great Uncle Sebastian. I attended him the entire time he lived in this house." Victor answered, pulling a book from the bookcase. The bookcase opened to reveal a narrow dark passage. Alice stared at the passage in surprise and followed him down the passage.
After traveling for a short time down a twisty turning passage, he pushed open a large door which turned out to be a wall in Alice's room. Victor walked in and placed the luggage on the bed. He turned and looked at Alice, who was busy inspecting the door, very curious. He grinned,
"Miss Alice, there are several more passages just like this one. Your uncle selected this room partially for that passage. He thought you would appreciate it."
"How does he know so much about me?" Alice asked, closing the passage door.
"Well my dear, all of that will be explained in time I'm sure." Victor assured. Just then, he heard Charlotte's shrieks echo down the halls. Alice rolled her eyes while Victor headed for the door.
"ALICE!!!! GET DOWN HERE!!! HELP ME PLEASE!! ALICE DARLING!!!" Charlotte's voice echoed. Alice followed Victor as he hurried down to the front door. They watched as Charlotte stumbled in, looking like a fully loaded burro...with shoes. Alice held back an urge to point and laugh. Then she realized that there was no point in holding back so she let out a cruel cackle, pointing at her.
"Help...please!" She called out, straining under the weight of all of her shoes. Victor ran over and quickly took a few pairs out of her arms. Charlotte exhaled.
"Oh thank you, butler man."
"It's Victor." Victor corrected her as they ascended the stairs. Alice saw a shoe lying by her feet and she picked it up.
"Alice, why don't you go get Fifi, Snooky, and Priscilla from the car?" Charlotte called over her shoulder as she carried the other shoes up the stairs. Alice felt her eye twitch and she tightened her grip around the shoe. With a sharp throw, she chucked it at Charlotte's feet. Immediately, Charlotte tripped and went tumbling down the stairs. Alice smiled darkly as she struggled to get up and climb up the stairs again. She turned away and started to walk out the door to go mace Charlotte's other cats. Suddenly she had a pie shoved under her nose. She stopped dead and looked down at the pie.
"HI!" She heard a high-pitch voice screech out. Slowly she raised her eyes to see a girl with blonde hair pulled up in pig tails on the sides of her head and dressed in a pink dress standing before her, holding the pie with a huge smile.
"I baked you a mud pie!!! EAT THE MUD PIE!!" She squealed happily.
"But mud pie is made with like....mud." Alice said slowly, very confused. The girl tilted her head to one side.
"You don't like mud?!" She asked, surprised.
"Not unless I want to get dysentery." Alice responded dryly. The blonde haired girl giggled stupidly in response and Alice slowly backed away.
"Are you a relative of Charlotte?"
The girl looked at her confused,
"Who's Charlotte? Is she that crazy lady with all of the shoes? She made me laugh." The girl giggled again and put the pie on top of her head in between her pigtails then held out her hand,
"My name's Kimberly Rose! But everyone calls me Kimmy! SO CALL ME KIMMY!" She screeched. Alice covered her ears in pain.
"Has anyone ever told you that your voice is at a level for BATS?!" She asked, agitated.
"Bats are squishy! I love bats!" Kimmy gushed. "What's your name? Is it Kimmy?"
"Alice...Alice Fooge." Alice replied.
"Fooge?"
"Fooge."
Kimmy giggled, "That's really weird. I like you! We're going to be great friends!" Alice raised an eyebrow,
"We are?"
Just then, Charlotte descended the stairs and Kimmy took the pie off her head.
"Hi Lady! EAT THE PIE!!!!" She screeched before chucking the pie at Charlotte. The pie hit Charlotte square in the face. Immediately, Kimmy burst into a fit of semi-deranged laughter.
"See you later Alice!" Kimmy said. Then she threw her arms out to the side and she took off running out the door, making airplane noises, leaving poor Alice to wonder if she had just met a real human being or a monkey that had escaped from the zoo.
By: Kellyconcarne
Chapter 3
The two weeks following the Fooges' first trip to the mansion were hectic to say the least. Immediately after returning home, the Fooge family began to pack everything up in their house in Pittsburgh. For anyone who has ever had to move, which is, virtually everyone (unless you were born without legs and remained in one spot your whole life) it's easy to remember the challenges of moving. The Fooge family was not spared from any of these challenges. In fact they had to endure more, thanks to Charlotte.
Unbeknownst to the world except those who are connected to the cat clothes designer business, it is apparently not a very portable business. Charlotte's cat clothes had to be handled carefully. You couldn't stuff the 12 wide brimmed sun hats into one box; rather they have to be placed in 12 boxes. And the ball gowns? Please, no one in their right mind would dare put them into a box. Charlotte demanded that the 400 small cat ballroom gowns be placed on racks, along with the 4 racks of sun dresses, 6 racks of Christmas attire, 10 racks of cat sweaters, and the 8 racks of costume apparel. Needless to say, the Fooge family required more than one moving truck. They required about 5. 2 of the trucks contained kitchen appliances, clothes, Alice's toys, 3 computers, tools, file cabinets, desk supplies, medicines, expensive china sets, various holiday decorations, CD players and CDs, videos and DVDs, and finally, the food from the fridge. 2 of the trucks were used for the cat clothes, leaving 1 truck which carried all of Charlotte's handbags, make-up, and shoes.
With all 5 moving trucks in tow, the Fooge family piled into their green minivan and drove to Grinsville. Alice let out a sigh of disappointment when she saw the large pink and white sign come into view.
"Where a grin goes a long way......to hell." She grumbled, sinking into her chair. Charlotte giggled and clapped her hands in joy.
"Oh Matthew! I love you!" She gushed, throwing her arms around Matthew, who was driving. Charlotte's arms pinned Matthew's down and her skin-damaging bright blonde hair, pulled up in a large poofy hair style on top of her head, blocked Matthew's vision. The car swerved out of control, spinning around in circles while everyone screamed. Matthew threw Charlotte back with a push.
What happened next could have made Alice enter a convent with joy. As Charlotte fell back, the front passenger door of the minivan, which had come loose recently, swung open. With a scream, Charlotte tumbled out of the car, which was still moving.
"Oh my god! Charlotte!" Matthew cried as he regained control of the steering wheel. Alice let out a cackle of delight. She turned around and looked back, hoping she hadn't missed the sight of Charlotte being crushed by the trucks carrying her horrible cat clothes.
"Do you see her?!" Matthew demanded as he pulled the car over.
"Nope, no sign of her. Oh well, tough luck Dad. I guess we should go." Alice said quickly with cheerful optimism. Matthew didn't listen as he jumped out of the car and hurried back to look for his wife. Alice stayed in the car and looked out the back window, watching eagerly. Then she saw something that made her heart stop and sink into her bladder: pink. Slowly, stumbling around like a teenager just after taking the SAT's, Charlotte rose from the grassy median, looking very stunned.
"No...oh God, no. Sweet Jesus, no." Alice whispered in disbelief as she watched Matthew hurry over to Charlotte. He adjusted his glasses and ran a hand through his short dark hair. He turned around and gave a thumbs up to Alice. Alice returned the gesture with one that was not quite so pleasant when Matthew turned his back. Alice dug her nails into the seat as she felt her rage boil up.
"No one would ever survive /that/. No one who wasn't spawned from the fiery pits of Satan's butt crack." She hissed, her voice shaking and her right eye twitching. She started digging through her backpack looking for a pencil so she could stab Charlotte in the eye with it when she returned, sending the demon away once and for all. She stopped when she heard a loud meow. In the front seat sat Fifi, Charlotte's fat white fluffy cat. Fifi was never to be let outside because she was too precious to Charlotte as her number one cat clothes model. The cat jumped into the backseat and onto Alice's lap. She began to rub her huge bushy tail in Alice's face.
"Aw, Fifi needs attention?" Alice asked in a babyish voice as she reached into her bag. Fife meowed and rubbed her butt against Alice's chest. Carefully, Alice took out a small black container and shook it in her hand.
"Oh yes, you're probably hungry aren't you? Poor Fifi, I'll feed you." She crooned as she took the top off the container. She waited until Fifi looked at her in the face then she pointed the black container with a label that read, "Mace for Kids! So much fun, you could be arrested!" at Fifi's eyes and pressed down on the nozzle.
A strong stream of pepper spray shot out from the nozzle into Fifi's pretty green eyes. The white cat let out a loud screech and tumbled off Alice's lap, hitting the floor with a loud thump. With scratching in vain at her eyes, Fifi jumped into the driver's seat but missed and fell out the window. Alice watched as Fifi rolled around, yowling, outside the car. She managed to get up onto her legs and took off running into the highway.
"Eat that, you fat slime ball." Alice sneered as she watched Fifi scamper around confused. She looked away to close the mace container when she heard a loud terrified meow and a truck honk, followed by a loud slam. Immediately her head snapped up when she heard the noise. She turned her eyes towards the window and saw the truck that was carrying Charlotte's hand-bags, make-up, and shoes drive away, with red and white splashed all over it's tires. A dark twisted smile slowly crossed over Alice's face. She was about to burst into maniacal laughter but then she saw her father and Charlotte returning to the car. Quickly she returned to her sulking face and took out her book, holding it in front of her.
"Can you believe that happened, Alice?!" Charlotte cried as she climbed back into the car, leaves and grass sticking out of her hair.
"I can't believe you're not dead." The 11 year old responded coldly. Charlotte giggled stupidly and cracked her neck.
"I know! Thank goodness I took gymnastics and remembered those rolls! Hey, Alice, maybe you should take gymnastics!" She suggested. Alice lowered the book and gave her a blank stare.
"Excuse me?"
Charlotte chuckled at Alice's face. "Oh Alice please, you would have fun! Can you imagine learning to do flips and rolls and jumping on those bars? It's so exciting! Maybe you can even go to the Olympics!"
Alice gasped excitedly, "Oh yeah! Then maybe I can get addicted to steroids so I look a Romanian giant! After that, I'll sell cereals with radioactive corn flakes that will give kids cancer! Finally, I'll end up living in a mobile home all alone and forgotten with my dog, Buster until a meteor strikes my home and kills me on impact!"
Her excited face quickly returned to its sarcastic normality. She glared at Charlotte and picked up her book, resuming her reading. Matthew sighed and shook his head.
"Let's just go to the house shall we?" He suggested while turning the car on.
An hour later they arrived at the mansion where the movers were beginning to unload the trucks and leaving everything in the lawn. Charlotte let out a gasp followed by a shriek of horror.
"Moths will get in the boxes!! My precious dresses mustn't be outside! The dirt! The leaves!" She screeched, slapping her hands on her cheeks. Quickly she threw open the door and hurried over to the movers. Charlotte proceeded to explain the delicacy of the cat clothes to the unshaved, fat movers, who were smoking and chewing tobacco while she related the expensiveness of taffeta urgently. Apparently Charlotte didn't realize that people in general, particularly unshaved, fat, tobacco addicted movers, could care less about cat clothes and their delicacy.
Alice meanwhile got out of the car and took her rolling suitcase with her. She ascended the steps to the house where Victor was waiting, his hands behind his back.
"Welcome back, Ms. Alice." He greeted, looking down at her. "I trust your journey was safe and sound."
"Well, it was safe and sound for me. I can't say the same about Charlotte." Alice said, glancing back at Charlotte with a smirk. "She had a bumpy ride."
"Did she? It would appear however she is unharmed which is what matters." Victor commented, looking past Alice to Charlotte.
"Unfortunately so." Alice sneered, walking past him into the house, dragging her luggage into the house. Victor turned and followed her.
"Shall I show you to your room?" He offered.
"I already know where it is, Mister Victor." She responded as she headed for the stairs.
"Ah, but do you know the secret passageways to it?" He asked as she pulled the luggage up a step. She stopped and turned her head back to him.
"Secret passageways?" Victor nodded with a smile. He held out a hand towards a hallway,
"This way, Miss Alice."
Alice looked at him then the hallway before pulling her luggage down the step and wheeling it up to him.
"After you, Mr. Victor." She responded with a small smile, looking up at him through her thick black glasses. He smiled and took the luggage from her hands.
"Call me Victor, Miss Alice. It's what I'm used to being called." He told her, as he led her down the hallway.
"Have you been here the whole time?" Alice asked, as she followed him to the study.
"Ever since it was first built by your great Uncle Sebastian. I attended him the entire time he lived in this house." Victor answered, pulling a book from the bookcase. The bookcase opened to reveal a narrow dark passage. Alice stared at the passage in surprise and followed him down the passage.
After traveling for a short time down a twisty turning passage, he pushed open a large door which turned out to be a wall in Alice's room. Victor walked in and placed the luggage on the bed. He turned and looked at Alice, who was busy inspecting the door, very curious. He grinned,
"Miss Alice, there are several more passages just like this one. Your uncle selected this room partially for that passage. He thought you would appreciate it."
"How does he know so much about me?" Alice asked, closing the passage door.
"Well my dear, all of that will be explained in time I'm sure." Victor assured. Just then, he heard Charlotte's shrieks echo down the halls. Alice rolled her eyes while Victor headed for the door.
"ALICE!!!! GET DOWN HERE!!! HELP ME PLEASE!! ALICE DARLING!!!" Charlotte's voice echoed. Alice followed Victor as he hurried down to the front door. They watched as Charlotte stumbled in, looking like a fully loaded burro...with shoes. Alice held back an urge to point and laugh. Then she realized that there was no point in holding back so she let out a cruel cackle, pointing at her.
"Help...please!" She called out, straining under the weight of all of her shoes. Victor ran over and quickly took a few pairs out of her arms. Charlotte exhaled.
"Oh thank you, butler man."
"It's Victor." Victor corrected her as they ascended the stairs. Alice saw a shoe lying by her feet and she picked it up.
"Alice, why don't you go get Fifi, Snooky, and Priscilla from the car?" Charlotte called over her shoulder as she carried the other shoes up the stairs. Alice felt her eye twitch and she tightened her grip around the shoe. With a sharp throw, she chucked it at Charlotte's feet. Immediately, Charlotte tripped and went tumbling down the stairs. Alice smiled darkly as she struggled to get up and climb up the stairs again. She turned away and started to walk out the door to go mace Charlotte's other cats. Suddenly she had a pie shoved under her nose. She stopped dead and looked down at the pie.
"HI!" She heard a high-pitch voice screech out. Slowly she raised her eyes to see a girl with blonde hair pulled up in pig tails on the sides of her head and dressed in a pink dress standing before her, holding the pie with a huge smile.
"I baked you a mud pie!!! EAT THE MUD PIE!!" She squealed happily.
"But mud pie is made with like....mud." Alice said slowly, very confused. The girl tilted her head to one side.
"You don't like mud?!" She asked, surprised.
"Not unless I want to get dysentery." Alice responded dryly. The blonde haired girl giggled stupidly in response and Alice slowly backed away.
"Are you a relative of Charlotte?"
The girl looked at her confused,
"Who's Charlotte? Is she that crazy lady with all of the shoes? She made me laugh." The girl giggled again and put the pie on top of her head in between her pigtails then held out her hand,
"My name's Kimberly Rose! But everyone calls me Kimmy! SO CALL ME KIMMY!" She screeched. Alice covered her ears in pain.
"Has anyone ever told you that your voice is at a level for BATS?!" She asked, agitated.
"Bats are squishy! I love bats!" Kimmy gushed. "What's your name? Is it Kimmy?"
"Alice...Alice Fooge." Alice replied.
"Fooge?"
"Fooge."
Kimmy giggled, "That's really weird. I like you! We're going to be great friends!" Alice raised an eyebrow,
"We are?"
Just then, Charlotte descended the stairs and Kimmy took the pie off her head.
"Hi Lady! EAT THE PIE!!!!" She screeched before chucking the pie at Charlotte. The pie hit Charlotte square in the face. Immediately, Kimmy burst into a fit of semi-deranged laughter.
"See you later Alice!" Kimmy said. Then she threw her arms out to the side and she took off running out the door, making airplane noises, leaving poor Alice to wonder if she had just met a real human being or a monkey that had escaped from the zoo.
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