Categories > Anime/Manga > Fruits Basket > Cat of The Zodiac: Kyou Sohma
Chapter 5: Oh God, I Sound Like Ritsu
1 review"Yuki, it's getting late, are you sure you don't know where Kyou is?"
0Unrated
Disclaimer; I do not own Fruits Basket.
Chapter 5; Oh God, I Sound Like Ritsu
That day at school Yuki was still thinking about Kyou's 'visit'. His mind swam while he sat in his classes. Kyou and Yuki were still busy as ever, Yuki with his meetings and duties as Student Council President and Kyou with his research, every study period, during lunches, and after school, their time was occupied, so it was easy for them to to ignore one another. As the days went by, the questions in Yuki's mind were troubling him, he had to talk to Kyou, he just couldn't let it go.
What was so horrible that he couldn't deal with it on his own? Why did he come to my room?
Another thing was troubling Yuki, he kept seeing that image of Kyou in his daydreams.
I can't get that out of my head, when he was in my arms, his hair ruffled, his eyes red and large, the tears on his face glistening, he looked so innocent and vulnerable like that. I can't forget it, I try to will it away, like thinking Tohru, or the way Kyou grimaces when he's tricked into eating leeks, but it always comes back to that picture of Kyou, he looks so helpless . . . it's almost . . . cute.
He couldn't take it anymore. One afternoon Yuki cornered Kyou in the library.
"Enough! Tell me why."
"Why what?I don't have time to talk to you right now."
Kyou shoved past Yuki and sat at one of the library's computers, thoroughly involving himself in his research.
"I need to know why, I can't just pretend that nothing happened."
"And just what exactly did happen?"
"What do you mean?!"
"Are really going to admit it, right here, where anyone can hear, in this place where you have a reputation, where you are king, where it could easily leak to the main house, to Akito," Kyou lowered his voice and hissed, "that you shared a bed with, that you comforted, me?"
Yuki was silent.
"I didn't think so." still using his lowered voice, "Do you know how embarrassing it is for me? To have to live with myself, knowing I'm still weak, that Akito still affects me so much that I came to you? And if me having come to you bothers you so much, why did you let me stay?"
"I . . ."
"I think you need to answer that for yourself before you question me."
Kyou left the library while Yuki sat there, dumbstruck.
It was time for Kyou to go to work, but he was too upset. When he left the library he had headed straight toward the restaurant, but he couldn't regain enough composure to go in there, he couldn't mask his emotion like Yuki could. Not knowing what else to do, Kyou climbed the fire escape of a building.
Why did he have to come talk to me? Why couldn't he just let it alone, forget it?
No, he doesn't have the problem, I do. He's always been stronger than me, he can handle the past, I have never been able to.
Why? Why can't I be strong like him? Why can't I face my memories? Why did I push him away? I wanted to talk to him, I really did, I wanted to tell him everything that was bothering me, but I was too proud to admit that I needed him, and I was afraid, afraid he wouldn't want to listen, that he wouldn't care. Why can't I stop being like this? Why am I such a coward? Why can't I do it on my own like he has?
Kyou finally started to notice the cats that were drawing around him. Cats would come to Kyou when he was in a state of heightened emotion and stress, and especially when he was in town. Usually he thought of them as a menace, but now they seemed comforting, their purrs and meows lent a gentleness to the harsh cityscape. He had never appreciated them before, but now he felt grateful to have them, it was soothing, calming to watch them weave about.
Tohru was right, they are cute
Being so high, when Kyou leaned back all he could see was their soft fur against the blue sky, like multicolored clouds, and Kyou drifted to sleep.
"Yuuukiiii! Where's Kyou?"
"How should I know where that baka neko is?"
"HIs boss called and told me he didn't show up today."
"That idiot, he's going to lose his job."
"I don't think Kyou would miss work on purpose, he's not that irresponsible. I'm worried, Yuki, you should go look for him, we're due to have a thunderstorm."
Kyou awoke when he heard a thunderclap. He sat straight up, the rain began to fall.
"Oh shit."
Kyou would have panicked, but the rain left him too weak, so in his fatigue he slowly trudged over to the fire escape. In his weakened state, just looking down from the roof made him dizzy, and he had some trepidation with climbing down, but no one knew where he was, and he had to get out of the rain. The rungs of the fire escape were cold and slick, making is difficult for Kyou to come down. Kyou descended slowly in the dark, the rain clouds obscuring any light the moon may have provided. His fingers seemed clumsy as they searched for the rails, grasping nothing in the darkness. His steps were unsteady as he shifted his weight, climbing down. The rain was heavy, it quickly soaked through his clothes, to Kyou it felt like sadness and despair creeping upon him. The night and the rain reminded him of the thing he most despised, Akito. Numb, wet and cold; numb to empathy, harsh like rain, yet smooth like puddles, and his voice and hands, always cold.
Kyou's calm turned into hopelessness.
Yuki probably hates me again for speaking to him like that, for accusing him of the crime I had committed, wanting to forget. I told Yuki that he had wanted to forget because it would ruin his reputation, and that he couldn't admit that he let me stay. But even though it may be embarrassing for the both of us, truthfully, I didn't want to forget, at first I told myself that I did, that I had never needed him, but I want to remember. Maybe I'll never be able to say it out loud, but I never want to forget the way it felt lying next to him, my head resting on his chest, I could feel his heartbeat, his arms around me and mine around him. I'll never feel that again. Yuki probably hates me now , he probably wants to forget everything about me, and I don't blame him. Yuki and Tohru have gone through so much pain because of me . I don't deserve either one of them.
Kyou had reached the last story of the building when he slipped.
Cats always land on their feet.
"Oww."
Ankle.
If possible Kyou looked more pitiful than before, a soaking wet cat, limping home on a badly sprained ankle.
I need to get home, I need to get home. Oww (wince)/ I need to get home./
That was the most encouraging mantra he could come up with as he stumbled home.
Even though I've ruined Yuki and Tohru's lives, and Yuki hates me, and Oh God, I sound like Ritsu, that's not what worries me. What concerns me the most is that maybe I won't find a cure, as much as I want to, as hard as I'm working for it, it may just be a false hope. What will I do if I fail? What will I do if I spend my whole life searching and find nothing? What will I do after I've overturned every rock, followed every lead, and there is no cure, what would I do then? Will it mean that my search, my life, was a waste, useless, meaningless? After wasting all that time and effort, will what he said in my dream be right?Would it have been selfish, to raise everyone's hopes, to gain their support for something I only want for myself, for something I fail at?
Meanwhile, back at Shigure's house
"Yuki, it's getting late, are you sure you don't know where Kyou is?"
"I already told you, I have no idea where that baka neko is."
"It' raining pretty hard, I hope he hasn't transformed."
"Don't even joke like that."
"Tohru, you wouldn't happen to know where Kyou is, would you, I'm getting worried and Yuki's being disagreeable."
"He's not at work?"
"Nope, his boss called before you came home, he said Kyou didn't come in today."
"Oh no, I hope he's alright!! And in this weather, we should go look for him."
"Miss Honda, I'm sure he'll be fine, if he were in any trouble he'd call." Yuki said although unsure himself if it was true.
"I don't know, I'm still worried, I mean, what if he couldn't get to a phone, or if he was kidnapped, or something horrible like that."
Tohru is one to let her imagination run away with her.
Kyou's pace became slower and slower the farther he walked, exhaustion overcame him and his sprained ankle became more painful. The rain had let up a bit, but the sidewalks were slick and the trail to Shigure's house was wet and muddy, so Kyou, being handicapped by the sprained ankle, slipped often and fell completely over each time, unable to catch himself on one foot.
*
"Kyou, where are you?" called Tohru.
Sure enough, all three were outside in boots, carrying umbrellas, searching for Kyou.
"How did we get talked into this?" Yuki said to Shigure.
"I don't know, I guess Tohru -kun is very persuasive, and very kawaii."
*
"I . . . finally made it." Kyou said.
There, in it's shining glory, was Shigure's house.
Then, having successfully entered the house, Kyou collapsed from exhaustion.
Chapter 5; Oh God, I Sound Like Ritsu
That day at school Yuki was still thinking about Kyou's 'visit'. His mind swam while he sat in his classes. Kyou and Yuki were still busy as ever, Yuki with his meetings and duties as Student Council President and Kyou with his research, every study period, during lunches, and after school, their time was occupied, so it was easy for them to to ignore one another. As the days went by, the questions in Yuki's mind were troubling him, he had to talk to Kyou, he just couldn't let it go.
What was so horrible that he couldn't deal with it on his own? Why did he come to my room?
Another thing was troubling Yuki, he kept seeing that image of Kyou in his daydreams.
I can't get that out of my head, when he was in my arms, his hair ruffled, his eyes red and large, the tears on his face glistening, he looked so innocent and vulnerable like that. I can't forget it, I try to will it away, like thinking Tohru, or the way Kyou grimaces when he's tricked into eating leeks, but it always comes back to that picture of Kyou, he looks so helpless . . . it's almost . . . cute.
He couldn't take it anymore. One afternoon Yuki cornered Kyou in the library.
"Enough! Tell me why."
"Why what?I don't have time to talk to you right now."
Kyou shoved past Yuki and sat at one of the library's computers, thoroughly involving himself in his research.
"I need to know why, I can't just pretend that nothing happened."
"And just what exactly did happen?"
"What do you mean?!"
"Are really going to admit it, right here, where anyone can hear, in this place where you have a reputation, where you are king, where it could easily leak to the main house, to Akito," Kyou lowered his voice and hissed, "that you shared a bed with, that you comforted, me?"
Yuki was silent.
"I didn't think so." still using his lowered voice, "Do you know how embarrassing it is for me? To have to live with myself, knowing I'm still weak, that Akito still affects me so much that I came to you? And if me having come to you bothers you so much, why did you let me stay?"
"I . . ."
"I think you need to answer that for yourself before you question me."
Kyou left the library while Yuki sat there, dumbstruck.
It was time for Kyou to go to work, but he was too upset. When he left the library he had headed straight toward the restaurant, but he couldn't regain enough composure to go in there, he couldn't mask his emotion like Yuki could. Not knowing what else to do, Kyou climbed the fire escape of a building.
Why did he have to come talk to me? Why couldn't he just let it alone, forget it?
No, he doesn't have the problem, I do. He's always been stronger than me, he can handle the past, I have never been able to.
Why? Why can't I be strong like him? Why can't I face my memories? Why did I push him away? I wanted to talk to him, I really did, I wanted to tell him everything that was bothering me, but I was too proud to admit that I needed him, and I was afraid, afraid he wouldn't want to listen, that he wouldn't care. Why can't I stop being like this? Why am I such a coward? Why can't I do it on my own like he has?
Kyou finally started to notice the cats that were drawing around him. Cats would come to Kyou when he was in a state of heightened emotion and stress, and especially when he was in town. Usually he thought of them as a menace, but now they seemed comforting, their purrs and meows lent a gentleness to the harsh cityscape. He had never appreciated them before, but now he felt grateful to have them, it was soothing, calming to watch them weave about.
Tohru was right, they are cute
Being so high, when Kyou leaned back all he could see was their soft fur against the blue sky, like multicolored clouds, and Kyou drifted to sleep.
"Yuuukiiii! Where's Kyou?"
"How should I know where that baka neko is?"
"HIs boss called and told me he didn't show up today."
"That idiot, he's going to lose his job."
"I don't think Kyou would miss work on purpose, he's not that irresponsible. I'm worried, Yuki, you should go look for him, we're due to have a thunderstorm."
Kyou awoke when he heard a thunderclap. He sat straight up, the rain began to fall.
"Oh shit."
Kyou would have panicked, but the rain left him too weak, so in his fatigue he slowly trudged over to the fire escape. In his weakened state, just looking down from the roof made him dizzy, and he had some trepidation with climbing down, but no one knew where he was, and he had to get out of the rain. The rungs of the fire escape were cold and slick, making is difficult for Kyou to come down. Kyou descended slowly in the dark, the rain clouds obscuring any light the moon may have provided. His fingers seemed clumsy as they searched for the rails, grasping nothing in the darkness. His steps were unsteady as he shifted his weight, climbing down. The rain was heavy, it quickly soaked through his clothes, to Kyou it felt like sadness and despair creeping upon him. The night and the rain reminded him of the thing he most despised, Akito. Numb, wet and cold; numb to empathy, harsh like rain, yet smooth like puddles, and his voice and hands, always cold.
Kyou's calm turned into hopelessness.
Yuki probably hates me again for speaking to him like that, for accusing him of the crime I had committed, wanting to forget. I told Yuki that he had wanted to forget because it would ruin his reputation, and that he couldn't admit that he let me stay. But even though it may be embarrassing for the both of us, truthfully, I didn't want to forget, at first I told myself that I did, that I had never needed him, but I want to remember. Maybe I'll never be able to say it out loud, but I never want to forget the way it felt lying next to him, my head resting on his chest, I could feel his heartbeat, his arms around me and mine around him. I'll never feel that again. Yuki probably hates me now , he probably wants to forget everything about me, and I don't blame him. Yuki and Tohru have gone through so much pain because of me . I don't deserve either one of them.
Kyou had reached the last story of the building when he slipped.
Cats always land on their feet.
"Oww."
Ankle.
If possible Kyou looked more pitiful than before, a soaking wet cat, limping home on a badly sprained ankle.
I need to get home, I need to get home. Oww (wince)/ I need to get home./
That was the most encouraging mantra he could come up with as he stumbled home.
Even though I've ruined Yuki and Tohru's lives, and Yuki hates me, and Oh God, I sound like Ritsu, that's not what worries me. What concerns me the most is that maybe I won't find a cure, as much as I want to, as hard as I'm working for it, it may just be a false hope. What will I do if I fail? What will I do if I spend my whole life searching and find nothing? What will I do after I've overturned every rock, followed every lead, and there is no cure, what would I do then? Will it mean that my search, my life, was a waste, useless, meaningless? After wasting all that time and effort, will what he said in my dream be right?Would it have been selfish, to raise everyone's hopes, to gain their support for something I only want for myself, for something I fail at?
Meanwhile, back at Shigure's house
"Yuki, it's getting late, are you sure you don't know where Kyou is?"
"I already told you, I have no idea where that baka neko is."
"It' raining pretty hard, I hope he hasn't transformed."
"Don't even joke like that."
"Tohru, you wouldn't happen to know where Kyou is, would you, I'm getting worried and Yuki's being disagreeable."
"He's not at work?"
"Nope, his boss called before you came home, he said Kyou didn't come in today."
"Oh no, I hope he's alright!! And in this weather, we should go look for him."
"Miss Honda, I'm sure he'll be fine, if he were in any trouble he'd call." Yuki said although unsure himself if it was true.
"I don't know, I'm still worried, I mean, what if he couldn't get to a phone, or if he was kidnapped, or something horrible like that."
Tohru is one to let her imagination run away with her.
Kyou's pace became slower and slower the farther he walked, exhaustion overcame him and his sprained ankle became more painful. The rain had let up a bit, but the sidewalks were slick and the trail to Shigure's house was wet and muddy, so Kyou, being handicapped by the sprained ankle, slipped often and fell completely over each time, unable to catch himself on one foot.
*
"Kyou, where are you?" called Tohru.
Sure enough, all three were outside in boots, carrying umbrellas, searching for Kyou.
"How did we get talked into this?" Yuki said to Shigure.
"I don't know, I guess Tohru -kun is very persuasive, and very kawaii."
*
"I . . . finally made it." Kyou said.
There, in it's shining glory, was Shigure's house.
Then, having successfully entered the house, Kyou collapsed from exhaustion.
Sign up to rate and review this story