FicWad

Ch1 Disclaimer- I write sins, not tragedi- I mean, not the truth.

A/N- This is still in Frank's POV. The whole story will be. Um, lines indicate a flashback. I'll label things so that way it's not confusing. If you don't understand something, please ask. Don't be afraid to ask me to explain something. Thanks for the reviews. Dedicated to Cerediwen, 'cause I can, that's why.

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It had been one week, three days, five hours, twenty-three minutes, and twelve seconds since I found Gerard and he was admitted to the hospital. Yes, I was counting. You'd count, too, if that was your boyfriend lying there, still unconscious.

You really don't understand the relationship Gerard and I have. We've been together for four years, after he got his act together and realized that we shared the same feelings. You see, I wouldn't date him until he got sober and clean. And after that crap in Japan, I really noticed how much I loved him, and not like a friend. I chanced it, and thankfully, he returned the feelings. We're best friends, brothers, and lovers. We're one person, one heart, in two bodies. I helped him get through the toughest time in his life, and he's helped me. I love him so much.

So, that's why it's killing me to see him like this. And the guilt...God. I don't know how I've lived with myself for the past month, knowing that it's my fault.

Mikey almost killed me. I'm not kidding.

Let me explain.

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Well, Mikey, Bob, Ray, and I were all at Bob and Ray's shared apartment, having a movie night. It was break-time for tour, and even off tour we like to get together. I had left Gerard at the house we shared. He hadn't been feeling very well, and told me that he was fine, that I should go along without him. After much persuasion, I finally agreed.

So, we were all sitting there, watching some stupid movie, I forget what, when suddenly my phone rang. I had pulled it out, and saw Gerard's cell number in the ID.

"Who is it?" Mikey had asked.

"Oh, it's just Gee. He'll call again if he needs anything," I had told them. They all had nodded, and turned back to the movie.

After the movie ended, I had stood up and stretched.

"I better get going. I wanna snuggle with Gee before-."

"Too much information!" Ray had exclaimed. We all exchanged goodbyes and Mikey walked outside with me. (He lived with his fiancé, Alicia.)

"Are you going to ask him soon?" Mikey had asked as he inserted the key into his car.

Oh. I forgot to tell you. I was going to freaking ask Gerard to marry me. I don't care that it's illegal. It's more symbolic than anything.

I had nodded simply, and said, "I need to figure out some imaginative way to ask him. Gerard's not ordinary, and I'm not gonna just go down on one knee. He's better than that."

Mikey had smiled and patted my back.

"Good luck, man," he had said as he climbed into his car. I had gone to my car, and then began the long drive home.

We lived kind of far off from everything, in a rather large house. It almost could be considered a mansion. It was white with blue shutters and all that fancy crap. I had let Gerard decorate, because he's definitely the artistic one. So the inside was all black and red. Honestly.

So anyway, I had pulled up to the house and parked.

As I walked into the foyer (Yes, the house had a foyer. Don't laugh.), I had noticed the deathly silence. That was odd, because whenever Gerard was home alone in this huge house he played music at full volume. (That drove the neighbors crazy.)

I had walked up the stairs, and walked down the long hallway to the bedroom. (Hey, we were rock-stars. Why wouldn't we waste our money on a ridiculously large house with many pointless rooms?)

I had slowly pushed the door open, and was rather surprised to find the room empty. So I had proceeded to search the entire house, calling out his name.

When I got down searching the house with no sign of Gerard, I had started to get a little worried. Then, it dawned on me. He probably called me earlier to tell me that he was going somewhere.

I had pulled out my cell phone, and pushed 'voicemail'.

Gerard's scared voice had filled my ear.

"Holy s**t, Frankie! There...there's someone in the freaking house!!! I can hear him, he's coming!!! No, no! Get the hell away!!! Frankie!!! HELP ME!!!!! NO, LET GO, YOU LITTLE-." There was a thump, a scream, and then, silence.

I remember staring at my phone, horrified. Then, I called the police.

A few hours after the police came and searched the house, I realized that nobody but the police, me, and the crime scene people knew what was going on.

So, I had called Mikey, Ray, and Bob and told them to hurry over. I think the fact that I had been crying so much and that you could hear it in my voice told them not to question me.

They came in the same car. When they got out of the car, I noticed that Alicia was clinging onto Mikey's arm.

"Where the hell's Gerard, Iero? And what's with the police?"

Mikey had growled, looking quite bedraggled, angry, and a bit worried.

I had burst into tears at the mentioning of Gerard's name, and my four friends had rushed forward to comfort me.

After a minute, though, Mikey had pulled away from the group hug and asked worriedly, "Where's Gerard, Frankie?"

I had sniffled, and handed Mikey my phone.

"Listen to the voicemail," I said simply, tears rolling down my cheeks.

He did, and a horrified look crossed his face. He listened to it again, and then checked the time the message was received.

"This was when we were watching the movie!" he had screamed. I had blinked, and nodded.

"I'm so sorry!" I had sobbed, putting my head in my hands.

Mikey had just stood there, looking at me, before he lunged at me. I gasped, falling backwards. He was on top of me, strangling me. I had started to get really lightheaded, before Bob had pulled the bassist off me.

I struggled to sit up, and looked at Mikey.

"Please, forgive me, Mikey. I didn't know-."

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??????" Bob had yelled, breaking in.

"Gerard's been kidnapped and it's all Frank's fault!" Mikey had spat, crying.

"No, it's not Frank's fault. It's not anybody's but the kidnapper's fault," Alicia had cut in, rubbing Mikey's shoulders soothingly.

Did I tell you how much I love that woman?

I had noticed Ray for the first time, and he was just standing there, staring at the ground. I managed to get to my feet, and put an arm around Ray's shoulders.

He was shaking slightly and I realized that he was crying. I know that I wasn't much help. I was still crying, and hard. Bob came over to us, and hugged us both. He was hard as a rock. He didn't cry that night. He just comforted all of us. Alicia consoled Mikey, who really wasn't taking it well. He had been screaming and sobbing.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore.

"He's not dead!" I had screamed. "He's just missing. The police will find him in no time."

Alicia had nodded, and everyone else muttered their agreement.

I spent the night at Ray and Bob's place, not realizing that it would be a month before anybody found Gerard, and that the 'anybody' would be me.

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I was broken out of my thoughts with a hand on my shoulder. My head snapped up to see Mikey's tired face. I was surprised to see a small smile on his thin lips.

"You still here? You made me leave, and yet, you're still here," he said, shaking his head and pulling up a chair next to me.

"I can't leave. You know I still feel guilty."

He sighed.

"That's my fault. Frankie, I'm sorry for blaming you, I just-."

"No, no, it's fine. I understand," I interrupted, fake smile secure on my lips.

Mikey just nodded and turned to his brother. He bit his lip, trying not to cry. /Again/.

"No sign of anything from him?" he asked, not turning away from the unmoving body.

I shook my head sadly.

"Nothing. Not even a freaking twitch."

Mikey nodded, and his façade crumbled. He buried his head into the blankets and sobbed. I patted his back as reassuringly as possible. Seeing each other cry wasn't a problem anymore, we'd all done it so often it wasn't surprising anymore.

I looked at Mikey's hair, before sighing. This was routine.

Finally, Mikey sat up and wiped his eyes frustratedly. I patted his shoulder, and glanced up at Gerard's face.

I gasped, and did a double-take.

The most beautiful sight my eyes ever beheld was before me.

The gorgeous green eyes I had missed so badly were open and /staring right at me/.

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A/N- Ooh, crazy cliffie! I hope you liked this one. It was really an explanation before the REAL angst starts. REVIEW!!!!!!!