Categories > Anime/Manga > Trinity Blood > Losing Hold of something that has no Grip
Chapter 9: A Fallen Angel
0 reviewsEsther realizes that she has no chance and Ion relies on more then just killing Abel
0Unrated
Chapter 9: A fallen Angel
"What have I done?" I asked as I was thrown back into the room. My shoulder ached with every slight move that I made, "What have I done to you, Dietrich?"
"Esther," Dietrich replied staring at me like some poor animal, "To think of it you really did nothing well until you befriended Abel and that stupid twit."
"Was I a fool to befriend you as well then?" I asked looking up at him.
He thought upon hearing what I had just said. For a second I saw a flicker of realization in his eyes. The way he moved them down when I said that and then the way he moved them back up to look at my own eyes.
"In the time to say," Dietrich replied, "Yes you were."
"Did you ever really like to talk to me when you did?" I asked closing my eyes as I sat down and leaned my back on the wall.
"You were company to say the least," he replied.
"Why did you change?" I asked as my eyes were still closed. I could feel the blood lessen as I moved my hand away from my shoulder for just a moment.
"Oh I changed because I was tired of being weak," He replied, "Like you. I wanted to show everyone my true power and I think I am doing quite well at it, since everyone cowers in fear when they hear my name or a faint whisper of my voice. For are not you afraid right now?"
"I am not," I replied opening my eyes again, "There is nothing to be afraid of. I am not afraid to be here with you now, I am not afraid of you killing me, the only thing I am afraid of is that if Ion and Father Nightroad come. Once Father Nightroad sees what you have done he will change and Dietrich I will fear for you."
"Oh how kind you are to care so much even though not a single soul cares for you," He replied.
"You think someone cares for you Dietrich?" I replied, "You control and manipulate people to do your stupid bidding because you are too incompetent to do it yourself!"
"Why is it you think you mean so much in this world?" Dietrich asked fuming with anger.
"Dietrich," I replied, "We all mean a lot in this world you just need to see."
He had enough. Dietrich grabbed my hair and slammed my head into the nearest wall. I felt the pain immediately and crashed to the floor. My head pounded with every second that passed by. My eyes fluttered open and shut. I had a hard time seeing and I could barely make out Dietrich's figuring towering over me. I lifted my hand almost to trace his figure. I smiled a bit as I sat up.
"There is no hope for you," Dietrich replied exiting the room.
What would he know about hope?
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"Do you even know where we are going?" Ion asked Abel leading the way.
"Well I have an idea," Abel replied, "I have been there before but it was awhile ago though."
"You better remember," Ion replied, "We are wasting time if you do not know then."
"Yes I know," Abel replied still walking, "Tell me Ion, what has gotten into these past few weeks?"
"Nothing," He replied.
"Ion is this still about your grandmother?" Abel asked.
"I do not know!" Ion asked stopping, "Ever since she has gone I haven't been myself. There are good days I have then there are days when I can not stand to even think of it."
"Ion you must be strong for her," Abel replied, "and do not take it out on Esther."
"I didn't mean...." Ion remembered the way she smiled and always seemed to bring out the good in people and here he was all along crushing her like a little animal, a human being that was lower than him.
Abel put a hand on Ion's shoulder. In a way he felt that he was sorry and regretted everything that he had done.
"Ion I know it's hard," Abel replied, "but I know you are truly good at heart and we need to hurry and help Esther now. It's your chance to show her you truly love her."
At the word love Ion's mind stopped working. Did he really love Esther? He never actually really thought about it until that moment Abel had said it.
"It is not wrong to love her you know?" Abel replied smiling and walking again, "Now let's keep going."
"Father Nightroad?" Ion asked with hesitation in his voice.
"Yes Ion?" He replied.
"Do you think she will ever forgive me for what I have done?" he asked.
"Ion of course she will," Abel replied, "We are all forgiven for what we have done and regret."
For that instance Ion realized he was having a real conversation with Abel and the thought of killing him didn't glaze past his mind once. He was finally understanding what Esther had said. Thinking of vengeance does not make him strong it only weakens and he wanted to be done with being weak...it was time to embrace everything the world had to offer and now he could finally feel again...
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It must have been hours upon hours that I was just sitting there on the floor. I mean this was the routine. I would sit here wishing I wasn't and then Dietrich would come in and I would try to think for one second that he could be that Dietrich I used to know. I wasted so many years trying to erase the memory of him from my mind. I tried so hard to pretend he wasn't real and I hadn't confessed all my fears and weaknesses to him. He always told me he cared and said that he understood. He was the only one there. I had wasted all those years and now with Ion I was trying to fill that hole that had become empty in my soul. Little pieces of it came back when I meet Father Nightroad and Ion. They made me feel whole again and that I wasn't wasting my time. They made me feel like someone had cared for me again. I have done nothing in return but fill my head with stupid thoughts and fantasies. I have dreamed so many times that Ion would come and be here by now. I was starting to think that maybe he and Father Nightroad didn't care. Maybe I was just in their way this whole time. Maybe they wanted my gone and felt it best that everything be this way. I was no more than bait for Dietrich.
I once tried to grip the one thing I wanted a hold of but I couldn't grasp it. I tried with all my might and thought if I could just grab it and hold on then everything would be fine. There was never any thing to hold on to and even if there was I wouldn't be able to hold on anyway...
"What have I done?" I asked as I was thrown back into the room. My shoulder ached with every slight move that I made, "What have I done to you, Dietrich?"
"Esther," Dietrich replied staring at me like some poor animal, "To think of it you really did nothing well until you befriended Abel and that stupid twit."
"Was I a fool to befriend you as well then?" I asked looking up at him.
He thought upon hearing what I had just said. For a second I saw a flicker of realization in his eyes. The way he moved them down when I said that and then the way he moved them back up to look at my own eyes.
"In the time to say," Dietrich replied, "Yes you were."
"Did you ever really like to talk to me when you did?" I asked closing my eyes as I sat down and leaned my back on the wall.
"You were company to say the least," he replied.
"Why did you change?" I asked as my eyes were still closed. I could feel the blood lessen as I moved my hand away from my shoulder for just a moment.
"Oh I changed because I was tired of being weak," He replied, "Like you. I wanted to show everyone my true power and I think I am doing quite well at it, since everyone cowers in fear when they hear my name or a faint whisper of my voice. For are not you afraid right now?"
"I am not," I replied opening my eyes again, "There is nothing to be afraid of. I am not afraid to be here with you now, I am not afraid of you killing me, the only thing I am afraid of is that if Ion and Father Nightroad come. Once Father Nightroad sees what you have done he will change and Dietrich I will fear for you."
"Oh how kind you are to care so much even though not a single soul cares for you," He replied.
"You think someone cares for you Dietrich?" I replied, "You control and manipulate people to do your stupid bidding because you are too incompetent to do it yourself!"
"Why is it you think you mean so much in this world?" Dietrich asked fuming with anger.
"Dietrich," I replied, "We all mean a lot in this world you just need to see."
He had enough. Dietrich grabbed my hair and slammed my head into the nearest wall. I felt the pain immediately and crashed to the floor. My head pounded with every second that passed by. My eyes fluttered open and shut. I had a hard time seeing and I could barely make out Dietrich's figuring towering over me. I lifted my hand almost to trace his figure. I smiled a bit as I sat up.
"There is no hope for you," Dietrich replied exiting the room.
What would he know about hope?
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"Do you even know where we are going?" Ion asked Abel leading the way.
"Well I have an idea," Abel replied, "I have been there before but it was awhile ago though."
"You better remember," Ion replied, "We are wasting time if you do not know then."
"Yes I know," Abel replied still walking, "Tell me Ion, what has gotten into these past few weeks?"
"Nothing," He replied.
"Ion is this still about your grandmother?" Abel asked.
"I do not know!" Ion asked stopping, "Ever since she has gone I haven't been myself. There are good days I have then there are days when I can not stand to even think of it."
"Ion you must be strong for her," Abel replied, "and do not take it out on Esther."
"I didn't mean...." Ion remembered the way she smiled and always seemed to bring out the good in people and here he was all along crushing her like a little animal, a human being that was lower than him.
Abel put a hand on Ion's shoulder. In a way he felt that he was sorry and regretted everything that he had done.
"Ion I know it's hard," Abel replied, "but I know you are truly good at heart and we need to hurry and help Esther now. It's your chance to show her you truly love her."
At the word love Ion's mind stopped working. Did he really love Esther? He never actually really thought about it until that moment Abel had said it.
"It is not wrong to love her you know?" Abel replied smiling and walking again, "Now let's keep going."
"Father Nightroad?" Ion asked with hesitation in his voice.
"Yes Ion?" He replied.
"Do you think she will ever forgive me for what I have done?" he asked.
"Ion of course she will," Abel replied, "We are all forgiven for what we have done and regret."
For that instance Ion realized he was having a real conversation with Abel and the thought of killing him didn't glaze past his mind once. He was finally understanding what Esther had said. Thinking of vengeance does not make him strong it only weakens and he wanted to be done with being weak...it was time to embrace everything the world had to offer and now he could finally feel again...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It must have been hours upon hours that I was just sitting there on the floor. I mean this was the routine. I would sit here wishing I wasn't and then Dietrich would come in and I would try to think for one second that he could be that Dietrich I used to know. I wasted so many years trying to erase the memory of him from my mind. I tried so hard to pretend he wasn't real and I hadn't confessed all my fears and weaknesses to him. He always told me he cared and said that he understood. He was the only one there. I had wasted all those years and now with Ion I was trying to fill that hole that had become empty in my soul. Little pieces of it came back when I meet Father Nightroad and Ion. They made me feel whole again and that I wasn't wasting my time. They made me feel like someone had cared for me again. I have done nothing in return but fill my head with stupid thoughts and fantasies. I have dreamed so many times that Ion would come and be here by now. I was starting to think that maybe he and Father Nightroad didn't care. Maybe I was just in their way this whole time. Maybe they wanted my gone and felt it best that everything be this way. I was no more than bait for Dietrich.
I once tried to grip the one thing I wanted a hold of but I couldn't grasp it. I tried with all my might and thought if I could just grab it and hold on then everything would be fine. There was never any thing to hold on to and even if there was I wouldn't be able to hold on anyway...
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