- Um...very poetic, but I think you took that too far. The dialogue is hugely overwrought and unrealistic, and the whole demon/angel thing was kind of pretentious. You set up a very good scene, nice contrasts and plenty of poetic language, but it's so melodramatic and almost impossible to follow (and while I could mostly follow it...that was mainly the bits that were cliche enough I'd seen them before).
(#) Faeriegirl 2007-04-27I think I get it, but it would be sooo much easier if you just called them by their names, not angel of whatever. Only ones I recognised were mewtwo, pikachu, hitmonlee and hitmonchan, although I think I got that Ash was there at the end, and the dialouge there was good, captured Ash's character pretty well. Maybe if I'd seen mewtwo returns I'd understand...
Author's responseThe story is written for people who have at least seen the movies I list in the summary. I was attempting to try someting new, to sort of treat the messianic undertones of Ash's and Mewtwo's stories with the sort of grace and intruige one would expect of messianic undertones. I'm glad you liked the dialog.
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