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The morning light was just breaking through the darkness of night. Gerard stood looking out across the city. His mood was still as dark as the night. After Monica had stormed out of Bob's room he had tried to talk to her. She had gone back to their room grabbed her purse and coat then walked to the elevator. He had tried to follow but she got in just as the doors closed. By the time he got to the floor below she has slammed the door and would not answer his repeated knocking. Defeated he had finally gone back to their room which only hours earlier had been a paradise. He had not slept and hoped the bands performance tonight would not suffer because of him.
He grabbed his card key and left the room intending on going to Kara's room. Monica just had to answerer the door. He needed to talk to her, he needed to touch her. There had to be a way to make her understand. But more than that he needed to make sure she was OK after what Kara had said to her about her husband's death. For the hundredth time Gerard told himself he didn't care how the son of a bitch had died. He should be dead for what the fucker had done to Monica.
Arriving at the door he knocked and waited. There was no answer. Suddenly fear gripped him. What if something was wrong? She had been so hurt and so upset. He turned and went down to the main desk in the lobby. He identified himself and was told that a note had been left for him by a woman who had hours earlier left the hotel.
He thanked the man as he handed him the note and moved to one of the plush chairs in the lobby before opening it. The words swam before his eyes.
Gee...
I need some time to sort this out and when
I'm with you I can't seem to think straight.
Don't worry. Hope your performance goes well
Monica

He crumbled the note and put it in his pocket. He took out his phone and called his mom. "Is Monica there?" he asked as soon as she answered.
Donna who had been sleeping when he called was confused, "Why would she be here? She is in New York with you."
"She found out about Kara and that I knew and didn't tell her. She left hours ago and I was just hoping she had gotten there. She said she was going back to your house. She must have taken a cab and she should be there by now." His worried tone was evident.
"She's not here, honey. Maybe the traffic?" Donna tried to ease his mind.
"Not much traffic this early in the morning even with the holiday. Mom where could she be? She was so upset. Kara told her that she had Bob are planning to marry as soon as she gets out of school."
"When did they decide this?" Donna was surprised.
"Last night, I guess" He ran his hand over his face. "Shit, that's not all. They started arguing and Kara told her that she knew her mom's marriage had been bad and that Monica was glad her husband was dead."
Donna swore.
"Mom please call me if she shows up" His tone upset his mother.
"Honey, try not to worry. I know that will be hard but until she is ready to talk to you there is nothing you can do."
He said goodbye and closed his phone. It hit him that she had left without her cell phone. "Where the fuck is she?" he said out loud causing a passing couple to give him a strange look.
An hour later when he met with the others in the restaurant for breakfast his mother still hadn't called.
"Gee, you look like shit, man." Ray said when he spotted Gerard sitting at the table drinking his fourth cup of coffee, "Are you OK?"
Kara and Bob arrived at the table, "Where is mom?' was Kara's first question.
Before he could answer Frank and Jamia walked over "Gee are you still wearing the same clothes you had on yesterday?" Frank wanted to know.
He ignored the question and looked at Kara, "She left very early this morning but I don't know where she is. Mom says she's not there."
Kara sat down looking ready to cry. "But where else would she go?"
He looked down at his almost empty coffee cup. He had no answer.
Mikey and Alicia arrived a few minutes later. Ray asked the question most of them were wondering, "Did you and Monica have a fight or something?"
Gerard realized they didn't know what had happened. He couldn't help it but his temper was short. "Bob here is planning on marrying Kara as soon as she gets out of school. Monica was pretty upset."
Bob looked at Kara "I love her." Was all he could say.
Frank was still trying to make sense of it all, "So they told her and she took off? I mean yea that's kind of fucked up her still being in high school and all but that made her leave?"
He didn't want to tell them the rest of it. Not now. If he did then the fact that Monica had been abused would come out.
Kara understood "I said some ugly things to my mom" she whispered.
Brain who had arrived had been listening to the conversation. "Shit, Bob you're planning on marrying a girl in high school? How is that going to look?"
Gerard completely lost it "Is that all you can think about? How is it gonna look?
Fuck, I'm so tired of all this shit. Monica is gone and I'm worried about her. Fuck what someone thinks about Bob marrying Kara. I'm sure you can just hide her like you hide Alicia and Jamia."
Everyone at the table was shocked. Gerard and Brian were close and no one could ever remember crosswords between them. Brain just looked at Gerard but said nothing.
Mikey finally broke the silence "Gee, I know Monica. She is upset but for as fragile as she seems she is strong where her girls are concerned. I'm sure she is OK just doing some thinking."
Alicia agreed with him. "He's right. And Gee she loves you so much."
He listened to his friends and tried to take comfort in what they were saying. She was strong where her girls were concerned. She had taken years of abuse to protect them. His friends didn't know that but he did. He had to believe she was OK. He couldn't function if he thought anything else.
They ordered their breakfasts and tried to keep the conversation going. Slowly they drifted off leaving only Brian and Gerard. They sat in silence. Finally Gerard spoke. "Look man, I'm sorry I jumped on you. I know you have done more for the band than anyone will ever know. You take care of all the shit that surrounds us so we can try to function as regular human beings. I'm just so fucking worried about her I can't think straight."
Brian looked at him, "Gerard I'm sorry what I said seemed callous. I like Monica and I know how much you love her. It's just when I heard about Bob and Kara my first thought was the press and how this could affect the band. That's my job. That's what I do, try to keep all the shit away from you."
Gerard nodded, "Yea, and thank you. You know you are as much a brother to me as the rest of the guys."
"Gee, she will be OK. All of this will be OK" Brian told him.
Gerard got up from the table, "Yea. I gotta go find someplace to have a fucking cigarette."