FicWad

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment that's held in your arms
*************

The blond-haired boy was walking down the hall when he was hit from behind. He let out a gasp as he fell to the floor. Looking up, he saw Emmet staring down at him, sneering. "Watch where you're going, orphan!" Emmet continued on his way, laughing.

Julius stood up, rubbing his side. He closed his eyes, letting two tears slide down his cheeks. Emmet was always bullying him about his parents. Why? He had no clue. They were dead, but they'd gone down taking the bad guy with them. They were heroes. So why was he being persecuted for being their son?

***************
And what do you think you'd ever say
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
***************

Sticks and stone my break my bones, but names will never hurt me. Yeah, what idiot came up with that saying? Words took you down, killing you inside. Julius tried to be strong, but it was hard. There was no one there for him. Sure, Delilah tried, but he wouldn't let her get close enough to him so she could help properly.

Ursula passed him in the hall, chatting on her new cell phone, a gift from her father. She grinned evilly at Julius as she walked by, and made a point of saying, "Oh Daddy, I love you soooooo much!"

Julius sighed heavily, but kept going.

***************
And what do you think you'd understand
I'm boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away
***************

There was a soft knock on his door. Julius was laying on his back on top of his bed. "Who is it?" he called.

"Jay?" Delilah. "It's me. Can I come in?"

He sighed, not really wanting to see her right now. "Whatever."

Delilah pushed open his door, filling the room with light. Her head was tilted to one side, her hand on her hip. "What's wrong?"

Julius moaned. "Please, Dee, I don't want to talk about it."

"If you would just stop pushing me away -"

"Delilah!" he snapped. "I don't want to talk, okay? Now leave."

***************
And how can you learn what's never shown
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here
***************

Delilah stepped back, shocked, hurt. She bit her lip and turned. Placing a hand on the doorway, she whispered, "You can't keep pushing me away, Julius. One day, I might not come back."

Immediately regretting his words, Julius sat up. But Delilah was gone. He groaned and flopped back down. He had no one to talk to, no one to confess his feelings. He felt so incredibly alone and isolated.

A few minutes later, there was another knock on his door. "Go away, Delilah," Julius mumbled, rolling over.

The door opened. It wasn't Delilah.

*************
And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
*************

It was Al. Julius sat up quickly. "Al. I'm sorry, I thought ..."

Inviting himself in, the man in the green bathrobe sat down on the youngster's bed. He sighed, and looking Julius in the eye. "Some thing's eating you, kid. You gotta, like, tell us, or we can't help you. You've already upset little Dee."

Julius looked down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I was just ... mad."

Putting an arm around his shoulders, Al drew him in close. "Come on, little man, what's bothering you?"

Julius told him everything.

****************
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
'Cause I'm not here
****************

[Next Day, Archery Practice]

Everyone clapped as Julius' arrow hit dead centre on the target. He glanced over at Delilah, trying to make eye contact, but she looked away. She was still mad, with good reason. So he turned to the only person who's approval really mattered: Al.

The Big Man smiled and gave him a thumbs-up.

**************
And you see the things they never see
All you wanted - I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid
**************

Julius heard a snicker behind him, and a soft whisper: "What a dork!" He didn't have to turn around to know it was Emmet. The words stung, but Julius tried to remember what Al had told him last night.

"Don't let them see you cry. Don't give them the satisfaction."

And he wouldn't. He wouldn't. Emmet had hurt him for around a year now, but it was going to stop.

*************
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am
************

"Such a little teacher's pet," Emmet snickered. As the class left the gym, he shoved Julius into the wall with his shoulder. Gritting his teeth, Julius held back the insult. That was just let Emmet know he was getting to him. Delilah had been right about Ursula; she wasn't worth his time. And neither was Emmet.

Al placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay, man?"

Smiling, Julius nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

*************
And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
*************

[Later]

When Al was around, Emmet left Julius alone. Julius suspected the Academy head had had a talk with the brunette about his "attention". But when Al was nowhere in sight, Julius was a sitting duck. Emmet went out of his way to hurt him, physically or mentally. With fists or words. The punches and slaps were just as bad as "Dork!" "Toady!" "Loser!" and, worst of all, "Orphan!"

Julius would sit in his room, nursing his wounds. He tried to focus on Al's words of wisdom, that Emmet was feeding him lies. It wasn't easy.

****************
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They can't see me
But I'm still here
****************

Al had told him Emmet was just jealous; Emmet had told him he was a wimp. Al had told him that Emmet was simply building himself up by knocking Julius down; Emmet had told him he was a loser.

"Everyone likes you, man," Al had murmured one night, rubbing his back while he had cried a river. "Emmet's just trying to make you feel awful."

"You have no friends," Emmet had said smugly. "No one likes you. You're a washout."

************************
They can't tell me who to be
'Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleeping' while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe
************************

Julius found himself crying himself to sleep most nights. Al would spent the majority of his time with his charge, trying to teach him to ignore Emmet's verbal abuse. The tormentor was escalating, calling Julius a fake, a phony, a fraud, a trick. He was breaking him down slowly, and it seemed like there was nothing Al could do to stop it.

Until one night. As Julius was finishing his hysterics, Al tried his last resort. "Julius."

"What?" the boy sniffed.

"You're a loser."

*************
And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
*************

Julius pulled away from Al, looking at him in disbelief. "What did you call me?" he asked, anger in his eyes.

"A loser." Al answered, as if it was no big deal.

"Why, Al?" Julius demanded, getting up. "You know how this is bothering me! Why? Do you think I'm a loser as well, a failure? Well, I don't care!"

Al smiled, his eyes twinkling. "Listen to yourself, man. I called you a loser. You don't believe me."

Julius backed away. "What? No, I -"

"Do you believe me, Julius? Do you believe me when I say you're a loser?"

Julius stood still, allowing Al's words to sink in. Finally, he answered. "No, no I don't."

**************
And how can you say I'll never change
They're the ones that stay the same
I'm the one now
'Cause I'm still here
**************

Al grinned. "So, if you don't believe me, why believe Emmet? Do you look up to him? Do you respect him more than you respect me?"

"No." Julius mumbled. "I don't look up to him. I don't respect him. I hate him."

"Exactly. So why do you let him get to you? Why do you let him send you to your room, crying, each night, hmm? Because you're scared? No, I know you better. I don't know your reason, but it isn't a good one. You don't need to listen to him. You won't listen to him anymore, will you?"

"No," Julius repeated, beaming. "I won't. I never will again."

*************
I'm the one
'Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
*************

Emmet continued to harass Julius all of the week. But something had changed. His insults didn't upset the blond boy anymore. In fact, he took them with a smile and a nod. They just seemed to bounce off of him, like tiny balls of paper. Eventually, the tormenting slackened, until it was only the occasional "Jerk," in the halls.

Julius had learned not to listen to Emmet. It didn't matter what he thought, because Julius really didn't give a shit. If someone wanted to annoy him, well, go ahead. They would get no reaction out of him. Why? Because they didn't matter, and they never would.

********
I'm still here
********

The End.

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Go ahead, anonymous flamer. Flame me. This is for you.

-panda_1418