FicWad

K um...this isn't the best thing I've ever written. But it's for Izzy ^^

I am writing this while listening to 'The Joshua Tree' album by U2, as well as 'Angel of Harlem' and 'Walk on' by U2. Those songs make me feel daydreamy ^^

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I awoke the next morning feeling physically and emotionally drained. But something was creeping over my grief; I'm not quite sure if I'd call it acceptance. It was like pre-acceptance; I knew eventually, I would have to realize that Cass wasn't coming home. It was Lexi and Izzy from now on. I crawled out of bed and dressed myself, still carefully avoiding Cass's shirts and ties. I would have to pack them up eventually. I didn't want to think about it anymore; I didn't want to cry. Life had to go back the way it was...well, almost the way it was.

Izzy jumped up as soon as I entered the kitchen.

"'Morning, Lexi."

"'Morning, Iz."

"Bacon and eggs?"

"You know I don't like bacon."

"Oh...eggs?"

"No, thanks."

Awkward silence filled the kitchen. This never happened; we always had something to talk about, something to say. Even last week, hell that it was, when we were hardly talking, we were there to cry with each other. Grief isn't awkward if you're both going through it.

I glanced at the counter; the programs from the funeral the previous day lay carelessly on top of stacks of flyers and bills, letters and papers. Cass's green eyes twinkled at us from across the room. It was a picture of us in our engagement photos; I had been cropped out, and it was just his grinning face, wind rushing through his dark hair. My mind flickered to the white-gold ring that was sitting, forgotten, under my bed. Izzy saw me staring at the programs; she sighed.

"There's nothing we can do about it, Lexi. You know that...that Cass would've wanted us to enjoy the rest of our lives as much as possible."

I smiled faintly, and nodded. Izzy was right. Cass wouldn't have wanted me to mope around the house for years to come; he wanted me to be out there, enjoying life. I swallowed hard.

"Let's go to...Chicago!" Izzy suggested.

It was as if she had just suggested that we run around town in our underwear.

"Are you insane?!" I cried.

Izzy shrugged.

"Yeah."

It was a beautiful thing, to laugh again. Neither Izzy nor I had laughed for an entire week. We'd hardly even smiled. Yet there we were, standing in our kitchen, laughing. The kitchen suddenly lit up; the sun had come out from behind the clouds, and was lighting up the world around us. I missed Cass, yeah; we both did. But I felt...whimsical, almost. It was as if Cass was standing there, whispering in our ears; "Go. Have fun."

"Yeah; let's go to Chicago!"

Even though it was Izzy's crazy idea, she still looked at me like I had just agreed to go sing 'Girls just wanna have fun' on top of a tall building.

"Are you joking?"

"Nah. 'The windy city'", I grinned, "Cass liked wind."

Izzy looked sad for a moment; her eyes welled with tears. But it only lasted seconds; she grinned back at me, and said;

"Chicago it is, then. Pack your bags, Miss Lexi!"


Chicago; I'm not even kidding. Izzy and I blew a couple hundred bucks on plane tickets to Chicago. We were silent pretty much the whole trip; Cass was still thick on the surface of my mind, as was he on Izzy's.

"Izzy!" yelled Cass.

He scooped her up in his arms and planted a kiss on her forehead. Cass had been big; tall, muscular and burly.

"Hey!" I called to him, laughing, "Where's my kiss? Boyfriend, my left fucking foot!"

Cass got a devilish look in his eyes.

"I'm gonna kidnap her!"

Izzy still in his arms, giggling, Cass turned and ran the other way, through the tall grass and wild flowers. Thorns grasped at his jeans, and brambles tangled with the laces of his Converse, but he kept running. I tried to keep up with him, but my legs were shorter, and I was wearing flip flops. Cass carried Izzy to the top of a hill, and sat down, laying her on the grass next to him, and he collapsed, breathless and still laughing. I ran the rest of the way up the hill, and kicked his side.

"You forgot one of the three musketeer, you ass hole!"

Cass grinned that toothy grin, making me melt; just a little bit. I collapsed in between Izzy and Cass, and we watched the clouds and the birds, and even an airplane. Cass and I were still painting, and Izzy was still giggling at five minute intervals. These were the afternoons we lived for; quiet and breezy. Cass turned to me, and took my hand.

"Maybe I should be your husband instead."

I turned to Cass, stunned.

"You're kidding, right?"

Cass shook his head. He pulled a ring out of his pocket; no box, nothing. Just a ring; it was white-gold, and there was a single diamond set upon it. Not the prettiest thing ever; but it was something. It was meaningful. I looked over at Izzy before I answered him; she was still giggling a little bit, and there were tears of happiness in her eyes. Or maybe it was just because she was laughing too hard. She gave me a tiny nod of approval. I turned back to Cass;

"Yes!"

My daydream disintegrated as the plane touched the ground. I glanced out the tiny window; we were in Chicago. Who knew how long we'd stay; forever, maybe. I didn't want to go back to my apartment. I didn't want to pack away Cass's carefully folded shirts and crisp ties.