FicWad

The Schwarz residence was alight with excitement.

Farfarello had returned to the house a few days ago carrying some poor boy's heart in a jar, placed it on top of the TV, and declared that its name was Fi Fi. It had, at first, caused a bit of a stir among the others but the Irishman had been feeling off for weeks now and couldn't really be expected to come up with a better name. They just wanted to get rid of it before the heat of the television fried it. Cailin had, however, squealed in delight when her Da said it was her new pet and then forbid anyone from touching it. By the third day, Schuldig had attempted to do exactly that and later woke up with a temporary perm.

Fi Fi stayed.

Then the other two spawn decided that they deserved pets as well.

Crawford had tried to put his foot down on the matter, but Kirito had inherited Nagi's large, puppy eyes and Brett possessed the stubborn streak of both his fathers. Eventually the oracle made himself feel more in control by forbidding anything with fur.

"I want a snake," Kirito decided. He had systematically gone through all of the National Geographic tapes his father had bought him when he was small. "I can feed it live mice and collect all the skin it sheds then put it into the food of all those heathens at school."

Brett looked away from the tv screen, where they were announcing performance dates and cancellations. "Why don't ya just bring Uncle Far to school one day? They left Cailin alone after that parent day event."

"They need to be punished."

"Well," Brett drawled and rolled onto his back so that the people on screen were upside-down, "my Schuldig said he was going to pick out my pet. My father seems kinda worried about it."

"That's cause it's Uncle Schu."

"Aww, are you brats talking about me? I'm touched." They both looked up to find one satisfied looking German with a bundle thrown over his shoulder. Schuldig smirked and waved jauntily with his free hand when Crawford, Farfarello and Cailin entered the room. "Yo."

Crawford eyed the bundle wearily. "Schuldig...I said no fur."

"Don't worry. I just needed a way to carry him without much attention. He doesn't shed." Schuldig dropped the bundle onto the floor, ignored the kids' exclamations of "Kitten!" and pulled off the top of the cat-costume*. "Do you?"

"No, Schuldig-sama." Gackt looked around the room, eyes widening when they stopped at Brett. "Dear Jesus...there are more of you?!"

"Schuldig, he's the most famous man in Japan. Someone will notice he's missing," Crawford tried for reason.

"Aww, jealousy befits you Brad. Don't worry. I arranged a temporary stand-in for him. They won't mind us borrowing our Gakku-chan for a while, ne?"

Kirito looked around the room. "Hey...where's my dad?"

Schuldig's smirk widened.






* - I didn't make this up. Gackt uses cat costumes in just about every concert for two of his songs. Crazy guy.