Categories > Celebrities > Good Charlotte > The Holiday Season... But Not Everyone's in the Holiday Spirit
Sophie's POV
I stormed outside and slammed the front door behind me. I stood on the front porch lighting up a fag I know I'm going to be going through a lot of these this holiday. I rolled my eyes when I heard the front door opening and closing behind me. Seconds later Benji was stood in front of me. Queue fag number two any time soon.
"Hey." He said quietly.
"Fuck off." I grumbled.
"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean all what I said to you in there." he said stuttering a little. You can always tell when Benji's nervous because he stutters a little.
"I don't care just fuck off and leave me alone." Why was he trying to be nice we both know that's not how it goes between us. We hate each other, always have done always will do. We just don't get along together end of story.
"No not until you accept my apology." He said softly as if it would make everything better.
"Well looks like you're going to be out here along time then." I spat. We went silent for a minute. I was just looking off into the quiet neighbourhood that used to be my home. I didn't notice that the whole time Benji was looking me over as if to find answers to some of the worlds greatest mysteries.
"Look at you! What's got you like this? All bitter and... cold?" He said looking me over. Startling me a little.
"Shit." I breathed out the smoke that I had just inhaled, choosing to look straight ahead instead of at him.
"What type of shit?" he said a little irritated at my vagueness but it really wasn't any of his fucking business.
"Shit that's none of your business." I snapped back with equal irritation. Why was he doing this now.
"Don't be like that." he said sounding a little hurt his voice softening.
"Don't be like what, Benji. Go on tell me, don't be like what?" I said getting mad now at him pretending as if we had been friends for years.
"I'm trying to help and your throwing it in my face." He said angry at my 'attitude'.
"Guess you know how it feels now." I muttered so he could barely hear me but I knew he heard.
"What?" he said quietly.
"You heard." I scowled narrowing my eyes to stare him down. At first he stared back but then softened.
"Sophie just talk to me, I want to help." He sighed. That did it he had crossed the line where was all this coming from.
"Bullshit, you didn't care about me back then, so don't pretend to give a shit about me now." I shouted fuming at him as lit my second fag.
"It's not like that." he said quietly looking into my eyes as if it would some how make me forget everything and pour my heart out to him and make everything better, well guess what... not a fucking chance in hell.
"Yes it fucking is like that. You know what; here are a few home truths for you Benji. Back then when you thought no one cared, I cared. You thought no one wanted to help you, I wanted to help you. You thought no one was there for you, I was there for you but no I wasn't good enough you pushed me away just like you pushed everyone else away; apart from I'm the one that had to suffer more than the rest of the fucking world because I was the one that actually gave a shit about you but then when it came round to me needing the help, me needing someone there for me, where was you Benji?... that's right no where, I had to go through so much alone." I said starting to get upset by finally getting everything out but it soon turned back to anger. I had to stay strong for myself no one else was there for me; I learnt that along time ago.
"Sophie I..." he started moving closer to me but I stepped back.
"I'm not finished. Don't be sorry; don't pity me it learnt me the most important fucking lesson in life; to look after number one because no one else fucking will." I spat bitterly continuing my rant finally getting everything of my chest that's been building up for ten years.
"What happened that's so bad to make you like this, you where never like this?" he said softly eyes full of pity and care but it just pissed me off more.
"Like you'd fucking know what I was like. It was your idea of hell being in the same room as me for five fucking seconds and why?... I still have no idea to this day. You always hated me and I never knew why. I used to care about it, I used to want to know what I'd done that was so horrible to you to make you the way you where with me but now... now I don't care what ever it was it's your problem and I don't give a shit anymore." I spat coldly, he looked hurt at this last comment I don't know why the truth hurt him so much.
"There's so much you don't know, please let me explain?" he said almost in tears.
"There's a lot I do know and that's enough for me, you lost the right to explain anything to me along time ago and quiet frankly I don't give a shit any more. Good night." I stubbed my third fag out and smiled at him sarcastically before returning to the house and running straight to my room. I was asleep with in ten minutes.
The next two days went by quiet quickly and uneventfully. Benji and I just acted like neither of us existed and what was said between us on the porch Saturday night was not repeated. Neither of our moms, Josh, Sarah or even Joel knew what went on that night and they didn't ask. As far as they where concerned my and Benji not talking at all was better that us at each others throats.
I stormed outside and slammed the front door behind me. I stood on the front porch lighting up a fag I know I'm going to be going through a lot of these this holiday. I rolled my eyes when I heard the front door opening and closing behind me. Seconds later Benji was stood in front of me. Queue fag number two any time soon.
"Hey." He said quietly.
"Fuck off." I grumbled.
"Look I'm sorry I didn't mean all what I said to you in there." he said stuttering a little. You can always tell when Benji's nervous because he stutters a little.
"I don't care just fuck off and leave me alone." Why was he trying to be nice we both know that's not how it goes between us. We hate each other, always have done always will do. We just don't get along together end of story.
"No not until you accept my apology." He said softly as if it would make everything better.
"Well looks like you're going to be out here along time then." I spat. We went silent for a minute. I was just looking off into the quiet neighbourhood that used to be my home. I didn't notice that the whole time Benji was looking me over as if to find answers to some of the worlds greatest mysteries.
"Look at you! What's got you like this? All bitter and... cold?" He said looking me over. Startling me a little.
"Shit." I breathed out the smoke that I had just inhaled, choosing to look straight ahead instead of at him.
"What type of shit?" he said a little irritated at my vagueness but it really wasn't any of his fucking business.
"Shit that's none of your business." I snapped back with equal irritation. Why was he doing this now.
"Don't be like that." he said sounding a little hurt his voice softening.
"Don't be like what, Benji. Go on tell me, don't be like what?" I said getting mad now at him pretending as if we had been friends for years.
"I'm trying to help and your throwing it in my face." He said angry at my 'attitude'.
"Guess you know how it feels now." I muttered so he could barely hear me but I knew he heard.
"What?" he said quietly.
"You heard." I scowled narrowing my eyes to stare him down. At first he stared back but then softened.
"Sophie just talk to me, I want to help." He sighed. That did it he had crossed the line where was all this coming from.
"Bullshit, you didn't care about me back then, so don't pretend to give a shit about me now." I shouted fuming at him as lit my second fag.
"It's not like that." he said quietly looking into my eyes as if it would some how make me forget everything and pour my heart out to him and make everything better, well guess what... not a fucking chance in hell.
"Yes it fucking is like that. You know what; here are a few home truths for you Benji. Back then when you thought no one cared, I cared. You thought no one wanted to help you, I wanted to help you. You thought no one was there for you, I was there for you but no I wasn't good enough you pushed me away just like you pushed everyone else away; apart from I'm the one that had to suffer more than the rest of the fucking world because I was the one that actually gave a shit about you but then when it came round to me needing the help, me needing someone there for me, where was you Benji?... that's right no where, I had to go through so much alone." I said starting to get upset by finally getting everything out but it soon turned back to anger. I had to stay strong for myself no one else was there for me; I learnt that along time ago.
"Sophie I..." he started moving closer to me but I stepped back.
"I'm not finished. Don't be sorry; don't pity me it learnt me the most important fucking lesson in life; to look after number one because no one else fucking will." I spat bitterly continuing my rant finally getting everything of my chest that's been building up for ten years.
"What happened that's so bad to make you like this, you where never like this?" he said softly eyes full of pity and care but it just pissed me off more.
"Like you'd fucking know what I was like. It was your idea of hell being in the same room as me for five fucking seconds and why?... I still have no idea to this day. You always hated me and I never knew why. I used to care about it, I used to want to know what I'd done that was so horrible to you to make you the way you where with me but now... now I don't care what ever it was it's your problem and I don't give a shit anymore." I spat coldly, he looked hurt at this last comment I don't know why the truth hurt him so much.
"There's so much you don't know, please let me explain?" he said almost in tears.
"There's a lot I do know and that's enough for me, you lost the right to explain anything to me along time ago and quiet frankly I don't give a shit any more. Good night." I stubbed my third fag out and smiled at him sarcastically before returning to the house and running straight to my room. I was asleep with in ten minutes.
The next two days went by quiet quickly and uneventfully. Benji and I just acted like neither of us existed and what was said between us on the porch Saturday night was not repeated. Neither of our moms, Josh, Sarah or even Joel knew what went on that night and they didn't ask. As far as they where concerned my and Benji not talking at all was better that us at each others throats.
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