FicWad

I loved the feeling of having Brendon's arms around me, just knowing he was here with me instead of anywhere else with anyone else. It made me feel like I could, for once, protect him in a way rather than worrying about him every four seconds.

I felt a sense of accomplishment. I had made it past a lot of hurdles for this guy, and in a way I thank him for it. Ya know?

Here I was lying in my bed with Brendon's arms craddling me gently. This feels so /right/. I could feel his breath on my neck, soothing to my soul, and even his little snores were cute.

I felt him move a little, he was finally waking up. Good thing too, my arm was asleep.

I could feel him smile into the back of my neck, "Good morning honey." he voiced, sending shivers down my spine. "Good morning lover." I said turning in his arms.

He greeted me with a kiss. Soft and gentle, just like his arms that were caressing my back. I tried to hold back a moan, "Let it out Ry, we're the only ones here." he began to trace little, sharp circles over the small of my back.

I /moaned/.

He began to tug at my shirt. 'Oh fuck. Not again. This boy is going to kill me one day.' my head boomed. I smiled and let him take off my shirt.

I always love hickies from Bren, they're so innocent and yet they're so nasty. He had his cute little was of doing such naughty things, maybe that's why I loved him so damn much.

But hey, he's Brendon Urie. What else did you expect?

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After it was all over he fell back into another coma like sleep, he always made me smile, even when he was sleeping.

I got out of bed carefully so I wouldn't wake him and went downstairs to make breakfast. I was certain that he was going to wake up soon, so I took my time on the eggs.

/Hey/, for an anorexic looking kid who likes spiderman and Brendon Urie, I know how to cook. Don't question my skills, okay?

While I let the food cook I walked over to my old abandoned boombox and took a peak at what CD's lay inside. Dashboard Confessional- Dusk and summer sat there begging for me to play it. I closed the cd changer and pressed play.

I put on Don't Wait and went back over to my food. Surprised as I was, it hadn't even began to burn yet. How odd.

I could hear footsteps comming down the stairs, Bren emerged completely awake, "Something smells good. Whatcha cooking sexy?" He winked, I laughed, "Well we've got toast, eggs, orange juice, and some egg mcmuffin looking thingies I made. You had better eat some too loser."

He hooked me at the waist and buried his face in my neck, "Oh I'm a loser am I?" He chuckled and bit my neck softly, "Yeah, psh you so are Bren."

He smiled, "Well I guess you're in love with the biggest loser in town then." he boomed into my ear. "Bren, tone it down. You don't want the neighbors calling us again and asking if there are animals in the house do you?"

He sighed, "Yeah, there were, you and me." with that he growled and took some food to the table.

I sat down across from him, he kept making weird faces and flinging food at me, like always. "I wuv you wyan" he said making the cutest face I had ever seen.

I smiled, "I wuv you too bwendon" and I gently grasped his hand.

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The worst thing about being a star is, voice interviews. Something people take an imposter and change around what you say. They may even take it out of context sometimes. Which is why you have no choice but to give the media what they want sometimes.

The worst part was, that people lately have been noticing me and Brendon holding hands a lot and hugging. Lots of questions have been comming up lately about this subject by fans and their parents.

I see nothing wrong with it, neither do the fans, but I'm pretty sure their parents do.

This morning we did an interview with...good morning america? Yeah, that's what it was.

Well they went through a series of repeat questions such as, "Do any of you have girlfriends?", "Do you like your fame?", "How is it that you got so big?" and my personal favorite, "Do any of you have myspaces?"

I told Bren he couldn't lie about that one so he told the absolute truth, "Why yes, I do. But it's only for friends and bussiness. That's all. Ryan forced me to get it." He said winking at me.

They asked us tons and tons of questions until finally leading up the the big, "Are you two dating, by any chance? The audiance would like to know." I bit my lip, Brendon looked at me. I shrugged and whispered a small, "Tell them what you want." before walking out of the room to get some water.

While I was down there I turned on the t.v. which so happened to be about two minutes behind.

I waited and waited for the question to pop up, DING, there it was.

Katie Curick sat smirking on the television at me.

Katie: Are you two dating, by any chance? The audiance would like to know.

((pause)), ((door))

My heart began to jump as I heard Brendon exhale.

Brendon: Well, you want to know the truth? Yes, we are. There is no kidding to be had at this subject so I'll just give you the straight out answer. /Yes,/ we are dating.

I let my jaw drop and my glass to the floor and shatter into a million pieces. Damnit I should have told him to lie!

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Brent was asking for money again. Probably because he blew all of his. That pisses me off. I wish that he wouldn't spend it so goddamn much.

Spence and Brendon are fed up with him, as am I. If I don't get rid of him we'll never be able to rest easy again.

"Hey Brent?" he looks at me from the doorway, he's about to leave again, "Wha?" He says in a tone that clearly states I shouldn't be talking to him. "I'm tried of you asking us for money, we all are. This can't go on."

A few months ago, I though he was cool...but now, he's a wreck. A hopeless case of a man. Standing in the same clothes he wore for the past week.

"What are you going to do about it?" He says closing the door and starting his way towards me, "All you are, is a fag. and you. can't. do. anything." with that he brings up an arm and shoves me down. /Big mistake buddy/, my boyfriend is right behind you.

Bren punches him right in the back of the head. "Fuck you man! Get the fuck out of here. Pack you shit too. You're out of the band. I'm tired of you and all of your nonsense. GET THE FUCK OUT!" Brent looks at me and looks at Bren. "Oh you guys will never hear the end of this. Mock my words. You guys are so dead."

And he grabs his shit and leaves. That is what I think is the end...

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One moment of silence, one fucking moment of silence with Brendon is all I want. No cameras and no news reporters, just me and Brendon.

The media never stops following you when you're young and famous, I guess.

We just kicked out Brent because he was being a dick about money and had a horrible problem with gambling. I mean, can't they let us be for a while? We can't even get a fucking bassist because everyone and their brother wants to be in our band. This is just too much.

We are finished. The band will have to break up.

and then answer to our bassist problems walked through the door...

His name is Jonny Walker. Jon for short.

"Hello...I'm Jon. Pete sent me. Are you guys Panic?" we nod. "Oh, okay great. I'm the replacement bassist."

Just like Pete to leave us fucking clueless to what the hell is going on.

"Well come in, no sense it letting everyone know our bussiness." I say and he joins us in the hotel room.

Me and Bren are holding hands and I have my head rested on his shoulder. "So what's going on here? Are you guys like good friends or something?" Jon looks a little freaked, we might as well as tell him. Brendon laughs, "Well, no. We're dating. You couldn't tell?" I giggle a little. "Whoa. That's rad. You guys are all open about it too. cool. cool." Jon says as he takes out his bass and begins to play a little of "I write sins" for us.

I pull my sidekick out of my back pocket and wrap my arms around Bren. "Who are you IMing babe?" he asks turning his face to look. "No one special just another weird kid who found my IM somehow."

The unknown sn pops up as, Illusion_Mist42...Who the fuck is that?

Illusion_Mist42: how r u & B doin now?
SlowMotionKidd: who dis?
Illusion_Mist42: u can say im an old friend.

I knew who it was. That mysterious girl who was always helping me out when me and Brendon were having "problems". How the hell did she get my AIM?
SlowMotionKidd: howd u get my IM?
Illusion_Mist42: lets just say i knew that would be something u'd use.
SlowMotionKidd: Hey, howd u know that song my mom used to sing 2 me?
Illusion_Mist42: i used 2 sing it 2 someone i loved a long time ago...
SlowMotionKidd: who? may i ask?
Illusion_Mist42: i waz my son. he waz taken 4rm me when i was 19. my mom felt i was 2 young 2 have children. but hey i g2g ill ttyl.
Illusion_Mist42 has signed off at 10:58p.m.
"Wow, that was weird." I managed out as Brendon let go of me. "What's weird Ry?" I shook my head, "Nothing. Just this IM I got. It creeped me out a little."

Brendon kissed me, and then walked over to the bathroom. I sat down on the bed, Spence pulled a chair up next to where I was. "Hey, who IMed you?" He asked, I was too busy playing with the scolly thingy on my sidekick to notice. "Huh?" I looked up at him, "Ry, who was that. The person who just IMed you? What was so weird about it?"

20 questions with Spence, the only rules is that your have to be brutally honest with him and that he always wins. No matter what.

I sighed and looked back down, "Some girl. I don't know. Hey, Spence, do you remember how old my mom was when she died?" Spencer made a face, "Yeah wasn't she like 19 or 20? Something like that?"

Then it hit me. Harder than ever before. There I sat, and for the first time I realised why that girl had been singing that song and had been following me around all the time.
She was my mother. My dead mother...who wasn't even really dead. My bastard Father lied to me! This is a shock...

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