FicWad

'So hold your head up high and go...
It's not the end of the road...
Walk to this beaten path before...
You pack your things at go....
At the end of the road......
You'll find what you've been longing for
You'll find what you've been longing for
I know cause my feet have the scars to show
I was lost without direction and no place to come home....' UnderOath - To Whom It May Concern

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I was contempt to find my mother. I needed some answers that no one else could give me. How do I find her? She just pops up when I need her, so why isn't she popping up now?

"Hey hun? Are you okay? You look a little sick." Brendon was worried, but so was I, "Nah, I'm fine."

He arched his eyebrow, "So why haven't you shaved in a week?" I shrugged, "Lazy I guess." Brendon knew it was something deeper than that, "It's your mom isn't it?"

Sometimes I hate when he can tell what's wrong, and then sometimes I love it; but this is not one of those times I love it.

"Bren, I have to find her. It's the only way I can get answers." Brendon stood up, "Okay, let me get my-" I cut him off, "No, I don't want you to go with me. I have to do this alone, and if you love me, you'll let me do it alone."

Bren understood, he sat back down and started playing with his fingers, "So what do you want me to do?" I got up to get my jacket and keys, "Just stay here okay?"

He looked up at me from the tops of his eyes and smiled, "Okay."

He looked like he was planning something, but I wasn't sure if I should ask what, or shrug it off. This is no time for games so I shrugged it off and kissed him goodbye.

"I love you Ryry." He said just as I reached for the doorknob, my hand paused, I turned back and smiled at him, "I love you too Bren. After this is all over lets go to tahiti and get married." He laughed, "Sure, but why do you always get to pick where we go?" Darn his pouty face.

"When I get back, we'll pick one out okay? Just the two of us." He smiled, "Alright. Hurry back!" And I walked out the door.

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I drove for what seemed like miles, no thanks to mapquest, looking for what I thought would be a good place to "summon" my mother. The guy on the radio was talking about "From First To Last Broken up?! Do you guys think it's for real? Or do you guys think he'll go back to FFTL? Call in and tell me what you think!"

It's times like these I can't help but laugh, "God his solo album would suck."

There was a strange shifting in the backseat, I wanted to look but I had just found the place that I wanted to, Las Vegas Cemetery.

It was so pretty covered in moonlight...

Then I flitched when I heard the shifting once more, and my skin creeped when a cold hand covered my mouth.

'Am I going to die? Is this the end? Are they going to slit my throat? all the nervous thoughts were calmed when the person let out a gentle, "shhhh" in my ear.

It was exactly who I was looking for...My mom.

"mhmm hmm mh hm hmm?" I asked through her hand, "I was waiting in here for you. I knew you wanted to see me." I think she forgot that he hand was still covering my mouth so I licked her hand, "Ewww! R-Oh SNAP! Sorry ryroo." she said taking her hand off of my mouth. "Thanks, now I can breathe."

She made he way into the front seat, beaming, "Now what did you want to talk to me about?" Maybe it was the moonlight, or maybe it was just me, but my mom looked almost as young as me. "Ground control to Major Tom? Can you hear me major Tom?" I realised I was stairing at her in an oddly manner.

I began laughing, "Was that bowie?" She laughed, "Hells yeah. Space Oddity all the way." We sat laughing in the car until it slowly died.

I looked at her, "Mom, How old are you?" She look forward for a second, then rested her head on the passenger side window. "You mean how old was I?"

Oh shit....

"S-s-so you-you-your dead!" I was freaked, "Yeah, basically. I was about 22 when I died. That's why I look so young now. I'm kind of glad that I died, I wasn't really looking forward to all the wrinkles."

She's dead. I have been talking to a dead woman...WTF?

I turned to her, "So my dad did kill you?"

She had a seconds worth of laughter, "No. Your father loved me, he just...got...old? I don't know. But he wanted you, he wanted me, he didn't kill me at all."

Now I was confused, "Wait, didn't you say that your son was taken from you?" She nodded, "Yes. You were. Because I was only 19 when I had you and my mother made me give you away to some awful couple."

Now it's comming into place, very clearly, that's why I never looked like my "dad". "Then, wait, that means you were killed when I was-"

"Three? Yeah. That man that you lived and I were constantly fighting for custody. He said I would never have you again because you were his son. Truth is, you weren't. And you want to know who killed me?"

I looked straight at the steering wheel, clenching the plastic casing tightly, "Yes."

I gulped, "It was him."

Finally I knew the truth. After 21 years, I knew the truth.

"But Ryan, you must listen to me. I've mingled to long here in this world. I've told you things I shouldn't have and now I have to go." What?

What is she talking about? "Mom, what does that mean? You weren't supposed to tell me about what really happened?"

She was shaking my by the shoulders, "No. I wasn't. Now someone you love will get hurt unless I go." Brendon...

I looked forward, trying not to picture Brendon's body pale and lifeless like that. It scared me, "Mom, who will get hurt? Do you know?"

No answer.

"Mom?" I turned to the passenger seat where she once sat, only empty space sat there now.

Fuck. Brendon! I started the car and made my way home as fast as humanly possible.

When I came home, only dark silence greeted me, the kind that chokes you.