Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > To Whom It May Concern

A hard-hitting goodbye.

by conrete_falloutangel 7 reviews

I felt, if only for an instant, that he was right there with me.....Forever.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama, Horror, Romance - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2007-03-17 - Updated: 2007-03-17 - 897 words



I found a note sitting by the computer, Brendon's handwritting. I didn't want to read it for fear that it may be something bad. I sat it on the table beside the couch and sat myself down and turned on the t.v.

The man on the Ten-O-Clock news had a face on that could make the most dramatic of Soap-Opera's look like commedies.

"But the news tonight is that of William Park. Reports say they found a young man, whom they think was in a gang, dead in the lake. Paramedic's recieved an unknown phonecall a few hours ago from a lady who told them he was there."

Another gangster dead, less unadvised crime on the streets, what a shame.

"The young man is about 19 and our paramedic's team will not reveil the name of the young man until his loved ones are notified."

His loved ones will cry over him, but they won't mean it. They'll just think "Well at least he's off the streets."

"Still no suspects to this horrible crime. Updates at Eleven."

And still no leads? Wow. I wonder if it's a...gangster? They're always fighting with each other, I just hope Bren isn't out there getting himself into this kind of trouble.

I switch to Spongebob.

It's the one where he's at Rock Bottom. I laugh and I sigh and I pretend that Brendon's just asleep. In the back of my mind, I know he isn't.

I was begining to worry about him at ten till eleven. What happened to him? He should be back now...

I pick up the phone and call his cell. Straight to voicemail.

His cell never goes straight to voicemail, ever.

I curled up on the couch and tried to sleep...Then the phone rang, maybe it was Brendon! I looked at the clock [10:55] it read in bright neon letters.


"Mr. Ross?" It wasn't bren...

My smile faded, "Yes?"

The man on the other line didn't sound too happy either, "This is the hospital. We have some bad news." he sighed.

I turned to the news, "Is it Brendon?! Is he hurt?!?"

The man paused, "No. He isn't, but..."

"But what? When can I pick him up."

"You can't."

All the happiness was gone as soon as the lady on t.v. said, "Brendon Urie."

"Y-y-you mean he's..."

"yes. He was killed earlier tonight. Multiple stab wounds. We need you to come and claim the body."

I felt cold, wet tears roll down my cheeks. My throat went dry and I couldn't for words except for a squeeky, "Okay.."


I didn't call Spence or Jon.
I didn't call anyone.

I just got back into my car and drove, wiping my eyes now and then.

I can't believe it, I can't fucking believe it.

I found the adress they gave me and I sat in the car looking at the doors. I was scared to go in because I didn't want to see Brendon, my Brendon, lifeless on some autopsy table. It was too much.

I turned on the radio. No Doubt was playing.

"In my head, it's only in my head.(only in my head.)
In my head, it's only in my head."

I turned it off again, wishing it was only in my head.

I grabbed my keys from the ignition and got out of my car, locking it.

I walked through the crowd of people that had gathered, to the door way, and I heard people say, "Oh my god. That was Ryan Ross!"

I looked back and then went in.


The one thing you never want to see, or at least I never wanted to see, was someone that I loved; I had risked so much for, dead on a silver table. His eyes closed, as if they were only sleeping, and I wanted to shake him and wake him up...

I felt powerless. I felt like, for once, that I really wasn't as high and mighty as I thought.

Seeing him there, and seeing his stab wounds, I just wanted to do a "Juliette" and die with him too.

The man came up and showed me all the wounds and told me that he didn't die for at least 5 minutes after he had been stabbed. They had found his body in the lake, which they think he was thrown in after he crawled for about 2-3 feet from where the attacks began.

"He was a very cunning young man." They guy said, "And if it weren't for him being weak and thrown in a lake, he would have survived."

I stood there, shocked, looking at Brendon. Why did you go Brendon? Why?

Then I saw something on his hand, written in the palm with black sharpie. I opened his hand gently and read it,

"At the end of the road,
You'll find what you've been longing for,
I know because my feet have the scars,
other hand."

I walked over to the other side and opened his hand,

"To show,
I was lost with no directions,
And no place to call home.
And u saved me."

I was crying as I intertwinded out fingers one last time. His hands were cold. And I felt as if he was squeezing my hand back, telling me it's okay. I felt, if only for an instant, that he was right there with me.....Forever.
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