FicWad

Schuldig had always been an avid shopper. At first, it was driven by the need to possess, to own things that truly belonged to him. Rosenkreuz had never allowed its little walking wind up dolls to have personal belongings, not until they graduated at least. So when he was assigned to Crawford's team, chosen by the man himself, it was the perfect time to make up for time.

And make up for time he did.

Then, to his glee, he had discovered something.

Crawford hated the mere idea of stepping into a store. So, naturally, Schuldig was left to take care of that tedious chore.

"Only the essentials," Crawford would say.

"Yes, sir. Of course, sir," Schuldig would return, with the bonus gift of a smirk and a mock salute.

The telepath was a very thorough shopper. No man forgotten, no man neglected. For entirely unselfish reasons, of course.

Entertainment for Nagi (porn). Snacks for Farfarello (tinsel and pocky). Clothing for himself and Crawford (his offending the eye, while Crawford's only hurt their bank account). CDs, DVDs, hair care products, shoes, accessories, magazines. Also for himself.

Eventually, Crawford had decided that perhaps it would be wiser if someone accompanied Schuldig on those trips. Normally, it ended up being the Schwarz leader himself.

"You're doing this on purpose," Crawford had glared.

"Me? Never," Schuldig had smirked. Of course was added silently.

Crawford had sworn revenge, kept a mental tally of each time the German would declare a need to go to the mall. A mark for every time he pulled a credit card out of his wallet. It helped that he took off points for any...toys that Schuldig picked up.

The telepath had delighted in keeping the balance of sorts. Two steps forward, one step back and all that jazz. After all, Crawford couldn't really get revenge for that kind of thing, right?

"Uncle Schuuuuuuuu!" a high-pitched voice called through the Schwarzhaus, accompanied by the pitter-patter of Mary Janes. "Uncle Schu, where are you?"

There was a flurry of movement from the couch to somewhere in the vicinity of the picture-window.

Nagi looked up from his book as Cailin ran into the room. "Maybe you should offer him a Schu snack. Maybe that will get him out of hiding," he said dryly.

"Why would he be hiding?" The girl looked confused for a moment then perked up. "Uncle Schuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" she yelled.

The telekinetic cringed. "Why are you looking for him, exactly?"

"Because! Uncle Brad said that Uncle Schu will take me shopping at the mall!" Cailin exclaimed, hands clasped together in joy at the thought.

"Ah." Nagi's eyebrows furrowed. "For what, exactly?"

"Oh, you know. /Stuff/," she seemed said, meaningfully.

"I see." Nagi paused. "He's behind the curtain."

The curtain cursed in several languages.

Cailin giggled and ran up to it, grabbing onto her Uncle's hand and dragging him out. "You're so fun, Uncle Schu.'

The redhead looked like he very much wanted to disappear behind the drapery again. "Hilarious," Schuldig drawled, shooting a particularly nasty glare at Nagi. The telekinetic waved. Sighing in defeat, Schuldig let himself be dragged towards the door. "So, princess, what are we getting you today?"

"Well, I need a dress and skirts and sandals and underwear and bras and I thought maybe some new CDs, of that band I like, you know the one with twelve girls? And maybe some tights..."

Nagi was impressed that Schuldig's nails left marks on the doorframe as he was dragged out by force.