FicWad

I got up the next day and knew what I had to do. I slowly crept out of bed and open the door to Chloe's room.
Biting my lip I started picking up the clothes and put them in boxes and taped it shut. I blinked back tear as I looked at her tiny clothes and her toys. Soon it was over and I piled the boxes in the corner of the room. I glanced around making sure I didn't miss anything. Once I put the last of the missed items on another box I flipped the light out and closed the door tightly, making sure it wouldn't be opened for a long time.
When I got back to our room I noticed Patrick lying in bed looking at his laptop. His eyes were slightly puffy form crying as he stared at the laptop.
"What is it?" I cooed crawling in the bed and cuddling up next to him.
"N-nothing." He said closing it quickly and looking at me. "I was just thinking about Chloe."
I looked down at the bedspread and bit my lip.
"Maybe we should go see a psychiatrist?"
"Y-yeah." He sniffed wiping his eyes and hugging me. "Please don't go anywhere."
I was shocked by him losing it, usually that was my place. I gently patted his back and pushed him back.
"Patrick, look at me." I ordered holding him at arms length. "We can get through this."
He looked at me through a veil of tears and bit his lip. Slowly he nodded and kissed my cheek. I smiled and hugged him again.
"Promise me something." He mumbled into my neck.
"What?" I asked kissing his cheek one last time before getting up and going over to our closet.
"Don't ever do something to get yourself killed." He said getting up and wrapping his arms around my waist.
"I'll never leave." I whispered leaning back against his chest and kissing him lightly before pulling away from him and pulling a shirt off the hanger.
I got dressed and walked down the steps, trying my best to put on a somewhat happy face even though on the inside I was falling apart. I didn't think I'd miss anyone this much, but Chloe was a big part of my life. She gave me hope and now that she was gone I didn't have any hope.
I sighed and sat down on the couch and pulled my legs up to my chest. I rocked back and forth and hummed softly. It was dead quiet in the room, nobody talked, and I don't even think anybody breathed.
Finally Sabrina cleared her throat and coughed.
"I think we should go out." She said looking for support.
"I think we should too." Joe said grabbing her hand and looking at the others.
"Yeah, why not?" Pete said looking distracted.
"It's settled, get your coats." Andy announced getting up and going over to get the new car keys.
I stayed put, watching as they got on their coats and turned looking expectantly at me, even Patrick had on his coat. I looked down at my dirty toes and sighed. Patrick dutifully stepped forward and hugged my shoulders.
"I think a night out could do you some good." He whispered.
"Remember what happened last time we thought it would be a good idea to go out?" I said quietly looking from face to sad face.
Patrick's face flushed and looked down. I could see tears in his eyes as he looked back up and bit his lip.
"Alex, please." He whispered grabbing my hand and squeezing it tightly. "Do this for Chloe."
I felt tears run down my cheeks as I nodded and pushed myself away from the couch. I numbly put on my coat and followed the guys out to the car. I bit my lip and stood outside the car staring at the side. Patrick took notice and grabbed my hand reassuringly.
"It's ok, I'm here." He whispered kissing one of the tears off of my face. "Don't be scared."
I bit my lip and slowly got in the car. I glanced around slowly and looked out the window. My stomach dropped and I felt my last meal roll around in the pit of my stomach. I looked at Patrick who gave me a reassuring nod and kissed away all of the freshly shed tears.
"You don't have anything to be afraid of, you're safe." He said quietly.
The minute he said that I felt a flashback come on. The exact minute we got hit. I closed my eyes tightly and rammed the heels of my hands into my temples.
"STOP! STOP IT!" I screamed pounding at my temple until I felt dizzy.
Patrick ripped my hands away and gave me a pleading look. Pete gave me a pitying look and shook his head. Sabrina and Joe gave me sad looks and sighed. Andy looked at my hopefully and then at Patrick shaking his head sadly.
I blinked away the pain and looked at my hands. They looked so small, lifeless. I sighed and glanced out the window, but another flashback came on. I again closed my eyes tight but waited until it passed before I opened my eyes.
When we got to the restaurant they all got out except me. I sat in the car for a few minutes until Patrick came and unhooked my seatbelt. He looked at my hopefully and held his hand out. I knew I was taking a lot out of him, but it was so hard living anymore.
"Come on, Alex." He grabbed my hand. "Tonight let's try and get our minds off this."
I nodded and walked behind him, like a child being led by their mother. At that thought I started crying silently as I was pulled into the restaurant where the guys were already seated and ordering drinks. I sat between Sabrina and Patrick because they knew what to do if I lost it again. I stared at my hands while Patrick ordered for me.
"Why are you letting me do this?" I whispered as I played with my food.
"Because you're not off on the right foot and I know you need a little help getting back on your feet." He answered sipping his drink.
"Why are you sad about your daughter dying?!" I said shocked.
"I am, but I know she's gone and there nothing I can do about it." He said looking at me. "I know you think I'm a non feeling bastard now."
"I wasn't thinking that." I said flatly.
"Ok, so I'm a heartless asshole."
"Close." I cracked a smile for the first time in a long time.
"Aha, even when you're mourning you can laugh."
I smiled and looked back down at the floor.
"Patrick, what's gonna happen if I get pregnant again?"
He chocked on his drink and coughed until his face was ruby red. I sighed and knew it was the wrong place to ask, but I had to know.
"We'll have another baby." He said rubbing his neck and drinking down more of his drink.
"But what if it's a girl." I bit my lip and glanced at the others who were making polite conversation and not even noticing us. "What will we name her."
"We'll think of something." He smiled and patted my knee. "Now eat."
I nodded and ate whatever was on my plate, I still hadn't gotten my appetite back so I was a picky eater. I slowly ate and looked at everyone.
Another flashback filled my mind, this was getting serious. I put my fingers to my temple and pressed gently.
"Stop, stop." I thought as I kept my eyes closed.
The image of Chloe with her face covered in blood and shattered glass filled every inch of my mind.
"Get out of my mind." I thought almost angrily as I pressed even harder.
As she lay there I could tell something wasn't right. Patrick grabbed my arm and gently shook me.
"Alex, Alex what's wrong?"
Before I could answer I felt myself fall backward gently and everything go completely black