FicWad

Molly walked through the warm clear July night and debated over what she was going to do once she got to Patrick's. There was of course always just sit down and lay it all on the line. Tell him from point A to point B what the past year and truly been like for her without him.
'of course, the last time I tried to tell him breaking up was a mistake it didn't go exactly according to plan.' Molly thought as she paused in the middle of the park remembering the fight they had had in January. '...he's had a few months to cool off since then. Maybe he'll be more receptive this time.' Reassuring herself slightly Molly continued on her walk.
Once she reached Patrick's front door Molly raised her hand to knock only to have the door flung open by the exact person she had been coming to see.
"Hi." He said quickly with a smile.
"Hi." Molly grinned back. 'well, at least he looks happy to see me.' "Were you waiting for me?"
"Uhh...yea. I wanted to get the door before my Mom or Dad did and tried to talk your ear off." Patrick's response caused Molly to chuckle as she thought about Patrick's goofy parents.
"So can I come in?" She asked as she gestured towards the still closed screen door.
"Oh..of course. Yea. Duh." Patrick stammered and pushed open the screen door so Molly could come in. Entering the house that had once been as familiar as her own Molly looked around. "Come on upstairs. We can talk." Patrick said as he closed the door and started towards his room. Molly followed quietly behind him and if she was being honest with herself quite enjoying the view. 'yep...still looks good in jeans. Nice to see not everything has changed.' Molly smirked as she let her thoughts go into the gutter for a few minutes in an attempt to calm her nerves. Once the former couple had entered Patrick's room and he closed the door behind them Patrick turned to Molly and said, "Well?"
"Gee...you're just gonna get right into aren't you?"
"I have to Molly. I can't do the back and forth with you anymore. You said you needed to talk to someone. And I'm more then willing to do that. I just...I don't want to get hurt again." He said quietly from where he was sitting on his bed.
"You're right." Molly said nodding. "Can I sit?" She asked gesturing next to him. Patrick nodded in response so Molly kicked off her flip flops and climbed up to sit cross legged next to Patrick. A few seconds later he had turned himself so he was facing her in the same lotus postion. Molly spent a few minutes staring at the bedspread before taking a deep breath.
"Alright, there isn't an easy way to put this. I don't even know where to start."
"I've found the beginning is usually a good place."
"Cute."
"I try."
"Ok...witty banter done?"
"I think so."
"Good. Now as I was saying, I'm not sure where to start. We broke up, I went to school. Things were really really good for a little while. Then I started having a little too much fun."
"You were a freshmen in college. It happens."
"Yea, well...most freshmen in college don't take to partying five days a week or sleeping with their professors." At that statement Patrick's jaw just about hit the bed they were sitting on.
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. Admittedly he wasn't my professor anymore when I was sleeping with him. And lemme tell you...it was bad."
"Ok...first off let me interrupt you here. I have an ammendment to this whole discussion thing. I really don't want to hear about you having sex with anyone. Call it selfish but I think I deserve that much at least."
"Right. Sorry." Molly blushed and looked down as she seemed to remember this was her ex-boyfriend she was talking to and not some random buddy.
"But besides that, you made some mistakes. You pulled through what's the big deal?" Molly closed her eyes at his question and contemplated how to answer. Looking him in the eyes she told him the truth, something she hadn't even admitted to herself until today when she decided to talk to him.
"Everything I did this past year. All the self destructive behavior....I don't know where it came from. But I do know part of it was done so I could try and forget you. Needless to say it didn't work."
"Please don't try to blame me for you fucking up in anyway shape or form." Patrick responded with a slight hint of steel creeping into his voice.
"That's not what I meant. UGH. You see what I mean. Nothing makes sense anymore." Patrick looked at his ex curiously trying to figure out what she meant by "nothing makes sense" as what she had just told him made pretty much perfect sense as far as he could tell. "Do you know that when I was at the airport everyone was looking at me? For like hours?" She tried to clarify for him.
"What? Molly don't be ridiculous."
"I'm serious Patrick. They were all staring at me. I feel like you're the only person I can trust anymore. Do you realize that? And yes I also realize how fucking nuts this sounds so don't look at me like that." Molly yelled exaseratedly while running a hand through her hair. Getting up off of Patrick's bed Molly started pacing the room and began to explain to him everything, every little detail of the past few months, including her brother basically calling her crazy. Patrick sat there growing more and more nauseous as Molly told him about the drinking, and the drugs, and when she finally got to the most recent scare, the black out, he couldn't take it anymore. Getting up Patrick grabbed Molly and spun her to face him.
"Molly. Breathe." Was all he managed to get out before she kissed him. The next thing he realized he was kissing her back with more passion then he thought he was capable of anymore. Stumbling backwards the would be lovers fell onto the bed and attacked the other as though they were drowning. Molly let herself become lost in the only thing that had ever truly made sense to her. As Patrick's hands and lips moved their way down her body she moaned and gasped in appreciation. Whispering his name outloud Molly smiled and then frowned as she realized he had completely stopped.
"Uhhh...?" Molly glanced at Patrick to see him sitting against the wall at the far end of the bed looking sick. "Baby?"
"Don't."
"Don't...what? Seriously Patrick don't be ridiculous. It's just like riding a bike." Molly said sitting up and reaching out for him.
"Don't." He said again jerking back and getting off the bed. Molly leaned back and stared at him before straighting her shirt suddenly feeling very exposed even while fully dressed.
"Don't you want me anymore?" She asked softly.
"Not like this. Not when you're like this." Patrick said quietly as he faced the wall. "You just got done telling me about your little downward spiral. Somehow I'm pretty sure sex shouldn't be the first thing on your mind."
"Could you at least look at me if you're going to judge me." Molly snapped. Patrick turned to face her and Molly was surprised to see instead of disgust and pity on his face she saw pain, and while she didn't want to get her hopes up, a little bit of love. Patrick sat down next to her again and pushed the hair out of her face.
"Molly, I would never judge you. But after what you just told me, esspecially about the black out. I think Sean's right. I think you need to see someone."
"Right, 'cause I'm as cracked as my Mom."
"Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe just being around that whole shit storm growing up put your head in a different place then it should be. You said it yourself once, you don't cope well with deep feelings. Molly I just watched you pace around my room and frantically babble about people watching you, being afraid to leave your house because they would see you, and all this other stuff you did in New York that I still haven't fully processed. Then two seconds later you're ready to rip my clothes off."
"Yea...so? It's the truth."
"And there in lies a bit of the problem. No one is watching you Molly."
"Says you." Molly mumbled in a whiny tone.
"Now you're just trying to be obstinate."
"Word a day dictionary still."
"How'd you guess?" Molly giggled nervously and Patrick pulled her into a slight hug. Kissing the top of her head he pulled her down onto the bed with him. "I thought we weren't having sex?"
"We aren't. We're sleeping. Call me crazy but I don't feel too comfortable with letting you go home by yourself right now." Molly rolled her eyes in response but settled back next to him and closed her eyes. Patrick propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at his ex. Reaching out Patrick began rubbing her back and told Molly softly as she fell asleep from exhaustion,
"I promise. No matter what happens, I will always be here for you to come to."
"I know." Molly mumbled, "mmmloveyou..." she finished as she finally drifted off completely. Patrick sighed and sat up carefully and walked over to his desk. Sitting down in his chair he stared at the bed sadly. Opening his desk drawer Patrick pulled out a picture of the two of them. Looking down at it he asked the image of a younger Molly softly, "Where did you go?"


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A/N: title is from "Watch the Sky" by Something Corporate

I actually liked this one. :)