FicWad

That day really changed me. If there was one thing I knew for sure, it was that I couldn't break a promise to my brother and live with myself long enough to tell about it. I made a decision that I would try, really /try/, to get better. And for a while, it worked.
Until that night I had the dream.
I was the only one there, the only one anywhere. Everyone I cared about was gone, and I knew it was my fault. I screamed and screamed in the nightmare, but no one heard me. There was blood everywhere, but it was cold. Everything was cold. I felt like I was completely frozen and alone. I finally gave up.
It was one of the most horrifying moments of my life, and it was what made me truly begin to doubt. I knew I should have trusted him; I should have trusted what the band told me. But once the seed of doubt is planted, the weed grows until everything is engulfed in distrust.
~~
"You can't go anywhere just yet, G. You can't leave me," Mikey said in a quavering voice. "The group needs you. I need you." He gripped my hand as I lay there in the hospital. I was so weak I thought the blood would be squeezed right out of me and run right through the cuts they had just finished stitching up.
"I...can't do anything...Mikey. It's too much..." A needle was shoved into my arm. I had to look away. I can't stand the sight of needles, let alone the feeling. That, too, was one of the worst moments of my life. I will never shoot heroin as long as I live.
~~
I dreamed you had left my side
No warmth, not even pride remained
And even though you needed me
It was clear that I could not do a thing for you...