Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Division Bell
I knew how well they all wanted to forget. But no one could. We were far too loyal to each other, to our combined histories, to get rid of that memory.
There was blood.
I had tried to cut myself once before, to try and get the feeling of what suicidals really felt. It was my own sick way of getting into character, I suppose. I wasn't actually trying to kill myself, but when Frank tried to get the knife away from me, there was blood spilled. His, mostly. I never meant to hurt him.
There's still a real gray area there. When he was trying to get the knife away from me, I fought back. Maybe I was trying to kill myself on the inside, and I just never knew it. Or maybe I really did enjoy hurting others. Could it really have just been a coincidence, or was my mind so far beyond hope that pain was the one thing left that I understood?
To me, pain has always been at the core of every human. Happiness is all well and good if you live in a perfect world, but the fact is that we don't. There's a joke saying that there are three things certain in life: Pain, death, and taxes. This was an internal motto for me for the longest time. But when I hurt Frank, I knew something had to change. I wasn't going to allow anything like that to happen again.
~~
I held the serrated edge flat across the bluish vein, slightly angled, with a sadistic grin. But just before I actually did anything, the door flew open and scared me half to death. Frank stood in the doorway with a horrified look on his face. He nearly tackled me to get the knife, but I gripped it tightly. He didn't understand. None of them understood.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked. I was silent, and as we fought over the knife, I suddenly saw a flash of bright red. I felt no pain, and instantly knew it couldn't be mine. A red line was quickly growing on the side of Frank's arm. I froze for a moment, letting the knife slide uselessly to the floor, and rushed to his side.
"I'm sorry, Frank...I'm so, so sorry..." He looked up at me with frustrated anger burning in his eyes.
"So am I."
~~
Now frontiers shift like desert sands
While nations wash their bloodied hands
Of loyalty, of history, in shades of gray...
There was blood.
I had tried to cut myself once before, to try and get the feeling of what suicidals really felt. It was my own sick way of getting into character, I suppose. I wasn't actually trying to kill myself, but when Frank tried to get the knife away from me, there was blood spilled. His, mostly. I never meant to hurt him.
There's still a real gray area there. When he was trying to get the knife away from me, I fought back. Maybe I was trying to kill myself on the inside, and I just never knew it. Or maybe I really did enjoy hurting others. Could it really have just been a coincidence, or was my mind so far beyond hope that pain was the one thing left that I understood?
To me, pain has always been at the core of every human. Happiness is all well and good if you live in a perfect world, but the fact is that we don't. There's a joke saying that there are three things certain in life: Pain, death, and taxes. This was an internal motto for me for the longest time. But when I hurt Frank, I knew something had to change. I wasn't going to allow anything like that to happen again.
~~
I held the serrated edge flat across the bluish vein, slightly angled, with a sadistic grin. But just before I actually did anything, the door flew open and scared me half to death. Frank stood in the doorway with a horrified look on his face. He nearly tackled me to get the knife, but I gripped it tightly. He didn't understand. None of them understood.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked. I was silent, and as we fought over the knife, I suddenly saw a flash of bright red. I felt no pain, and instantly knew it couldn't be mine. A red line was quickly growing on the side of Frank's arm. I froze for a moment, letting the knife slide uselessly to the floor, and rushed to his side.
"I'm sorry, Frank...I'm so, so sorry..." He looked up at me with frustrated anger burning in his eyes.
"So am I."
~~
Now frontiers shift like desert sands
While nations wash their bloodied hands
Of loyalty, of history, in shades of gray...
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