FicWad

Ch 8


I was so off in my own little world that I didn't even realize the funeral had ended. Mikey , Ray , Bob, Gerard, Worm and Frank's dad were the pall bearers. We left the church and went to the cemetery. I cried harder than I could ever imagine. I was the last one to leave. Everyone went back to mine and Frank's house.

" Tone can you keep an eye on Ryan and Bela for me? Im gonna go lay down" I said
"Are you okay? Do you want someone to come with you?" he asked
" no, im okay" I said
" Alright... everything will be ok" he said kissing me forehead. I went upstairs to mine and frank's bedroom. I laid on frank's side of the bed which still smelt like him. I cried myself to sleep. For the next week almost I rarely left my room much less my bed. There was a knock on my door.

" Katie , we are gonna take the kids out to the park... why don't you come with us" Joel said. Him, Tony, and Benji are helping me out
" I don't know.." I said
" Katie you haven't left your room, much less spent time with your kids. They already lost their dad. Don't let them lose you too" he said
"... Alright. Let me get dressed and ill be down in a few" I said
" ok ... see you downstairs" he said then shut the door.

I let out a sigh and then got out of bed. I turned on the radio. A country station came on. Frank use to always make fun of me for it. I wasn into rock and punk rock music like none other. Country music was like my guilty pleasure. The song that started playing reminded em of Frank. I started crying again



I miss the look of surrender in your eyes
The way your soft brown hair would fall
I miss the power of your kiss when we made love
But baby most of all
I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend




I miss frank more than anything. I miss how his hair was always in his face and how soft it was. I loved running my hands through his hair. His kisses could turn my legs into jello. But what I miss the most is him being there for me as a friend. I could always count on him and he always made me feel safe when he was around. He always knew how to make me smile especially if I was in a bad mood.




I miss the colors that you brought into my life
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
Saying it'll be alright




Frank brightened up my life just when I thought I had lost it all. His smile.... man did I love his smile. It was contagious. His eyes.. They say eyes are the window to a person's soul... frank only let few people in but when he did.. It was unexplainable . His voice was so soothing... whenever me or the kids couldn't sleep he would always softly sing to us. It would make you feel calm and loved. I wish he was here now to tell me everything would be ok.





I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again
And let the light back in
I miss my friend
I miss those times
I miss those nights
I even miss the silly fights
The making up
The morning talks
And those late afternoon walks




I miss the times we had together on tours, with the kids. I miss the nights alone just me and him. Hell I even miss our stupid fights. One I remember the most is a fight we had over the words to a song. I miss making up after fights. I miss our everyday mornings, whether it be on tour or at home. I would always make breakfast of some sort. I miss taking the kids on walks together. Or even walks just me and him.





I miss my friend
The one my heart and soul confided in
The one I felt the safest with




I just miss him in general. The song ended and I got dressed. I put on a pair of jeans, one of frank's t-shirts, and his skeleton crew hoodie. It all still smelled of him. I brushed my hair into a ponytail and went downstairs. I immediately hugged my kids. Joel was right. They didn't need to lose me too.


" how are you feeling" Benj asked while hugging me
" im ok..... you all ready to go?" I said. We headed out the door to the car. The park was across from Mikey's house. I'll have to stop by there on the way home. When we got to the park Tony and Joel took both kids to the slides. Me and Benj went and sat on a nearby bench.

" its good to see you out of your room, we were starting to think we'd have to send the swat team in" benji said
"I know... I just miss him so much. I mean we haven't really gone a day apart since we got together. And now here I am with two kids, one on the way and he's not here." I said crying again Benj wrapped a arm around me
" Believe me Katie, if I could make frank be here I would. Im sure he'd want to be here, but we cant changed what happened. And as for the kids, you can always count on me .. And Joel. He loves those kids like they were his own. I could just see it so much the past couple days. Plus me and Joel were thinking on moving here to be closer to you." he said
" why would you all want to move out here?" I asked
" well Joel doesn't want to be away from you. He knows that you need us. Plus he claims frank wanted him to take care of you and the kids. And its not like you can just move. You have Frank's parents here and all of the guys. So we are gonna start looking for us a place."
" yeah I guess you're right. Hey why don't you just move into my place. I mean there is plenty of room. There's the guest room and the basement" I said
" ill talk to Joel about it. Im sure he'll agree" Benj said. I looked out to watch Joel. He was pushing Bela in a swing. They both had big smiles on their faces. I took my camera out of my purse and took a picture of them. We were at the park for about an hour

" guys can we stop at Mikey's place before we head home" I asked
" yeah no problem sweets" Joel said. We walked up to his house and knocked on the door
" Hey guys what's up?" mikey asked as he answered the door.
" we were just at the park and thought we'd stop by" I said
" I just made some coffee, anyone want any?" he asked
" yeah ill take some" I said. We stayed over there for about an hour before we headed home. When we got home we ate lunch and I put Bela and Ryan down for a nap. Then I went to the kitchen and started to clean up
"hey girly , let me and Benj clean up" Tony said
" alrighty" I said. I walked into the living room where Joel was on the couch watching tv.
" what ya watching?" I asked while laying down on the couch with my head in his lap
" you're favorite show" he said. It was America's Funniest Home Videos. I use to love that show when we were younger. Joel started running his finger through my hair. He know that I loved when people played with my hair. Whenever I was upset, Joel would always play with my hair. I started drawing circles on his stomach. We all just laid around the rest of the day. Joel and Benji decided on moving in with me. At least for now. We are going to fly to their house in LA tomorrow afternoon so that they could pack their things.