Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Learning to Love Again

Chapter 4 - Barely Touching In Our Cold Bed

by whatkatydid 9 reviews

These are my children and she is my Wife. Co-Written with CeCe ( LovelA )

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-03-02 - Updated: 2007-03-02 - 1891 words

"Pete's part of our family." Shay informed her, nothing emotive, it was just a fact.

"He's in your band?" Sue asked Patrick, he nodded.

"He loves the children; he has a lot of time for them!" Shay said nodding, Patrick looked at her. Sue noted down that look and Shay's obvious jab at Patrick by bringing up having time for the children.

"That's cos he is a kid." Patrick mumbled, Shay smirked at Sue.

"He's Uncle Peter. The kids love him. That's really all there is to it." Shay informed her.

"Is that all there really is to it?" Sue asked. Usually when people said a sentence along those lines it meant that they wanted the subject dropped for specific reasons.

Shay looked over at Sue and tried to contain her glare. She knew this woman was good, but maybe she was too good.

"Yeah, of course," Shay said hoping the subject would just be dropped.

Sue read Shay's body language loud and clear. She knew if she was going to obtain more information about Pete from Shay, she needed to back off slightly.

"Ever wish he would spend less time with your children Patrick?" Sue asked him. He looked to her suddenly.

"Me?" he asked.

Sue nodded.

"No." he responded honestly.

"Pete's been through so much with us, it's normal he's with our family as much as he is." Shay said.

Sue nodded. She found it very intriguing that Shay spoke for Patrick on this subject matter. Wasn't Pete supposed to be Patrick's best friend? Shouldn't Patrick be defending Pete's ever presence in the family?

"How would you define Pete's role in the family? I mean you stated that he is Uncle Pete, but what does his role title include to both of you?" Sue asked.

Both Shay and Patrick looked at Sue confused. Sue looked over at Patrick as a signal for him to speak first. Patrick shifted in his seat and coughed slightly.

"Well, he's my best friend and confidant. I don't know how to explain it, but we have this understanding of each other. We don't have to explain ourselves to each other," Patrick explained.

Sue looked over at Shay who had a sad smile on her face as she looked down in her hands.

"Do you think that you have that kind of understanding with Shay?" Sue asked.

Patrick sat in silence for a moment. His eyes drifted to the side. He was searching for the right words to say. Shay had closed her eyes tightly as if Patrick's answer was going to be an explosion.

"Yes and no," Patrick finally said.

"You'll have to be more specific for me," Sue smiled at him.

"Pete is, well, Pete's been in my life for a long time. We've been through some of the best times and worst times in our lives together. He's closer to me than my own brother. We just get each other. Shay is my life, though. She has unconditional love for me as I do her, but sometimes there are things that I know she won't understand that Pete will," Patrick explained.

Sue noticed that he talked with his hands. He was very expressive when he wanted to be.

"What sort of things won't Shay understand?" Sue asked. "What I mean is, if you say that she has unconditional love for you, shouldn't she be as understanding as Pete?"

"Shay can't understand the lifestyle that Pete and I have endured since we were 18. She didn't live it like we had. Music is so much of my life and Pete understands that part of my life," Patrick started to get passionate. Talking about music made this man passionate.

"I understand that music is important to you," Shay nearly whispered.

"Not like him," Patrick shook his head and looked down.

It seemed as though Patrick was trying to shield Shay from his music. Patrick was trying to build a wall between the two.

Shay nodded. She knew the connection that Pete and Patrick have. She almost got jealous of it at times.

"How about you, Shay? What role does Pete play in your family to you?" Sue asked turning the tables. It was Shay's turn to shed some light on this third party.

Sue noted immediately how Shay's nonverbal language showed defensiveness. She sat up straight and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, he's the reason that Patrick and I found each other. If it weren't for him, I would have never found him," Shay said and looked over towards Patrick. He smiled slightly at her.

"So, that's the only role you see him playing?" Sue asked. Shay was avoiding the topic at hand. She was dancing around this conversation.

"No, definitely not," Shay said.

"He's my husband's best friend and like I said before, he's Uncle Pete," she shrugged.

"But what about you, Shay? What is he to /you/?" Sue asked leaning forward.

Shay sat in a silent pose, firmly holding her breath, visually challenging Sue with her eyes and Sue accepting the challenge, she wasn't about to back down. In a battle of wills, the attempt to avert Sue's eyes failed.
In a bid to break the line of tension, she glanced at her notepad...

/Something's obvious.../she scrawled.

"He's also a friend to me. He's a confidant of mine too, and he helps me understand Patrick," Shay said quietly.

Patrick looked at Shay, his brows in a gentle frown, obvious to Sue that he didn't know about this bond between his best friend and wife.

"You talk to Pete about me?" he asked.

Shay looked sadly over at Patrick.

"Sometimes I just don't know what to do or say to you when you get into your moods. Pete can explain your mannerisms better than you can sometimes," she added, there was a hint of shame in that admission.

Sue watched the two interact.

"Moods? What moods!? If anyone has moods, it's Pete!" Patrick said sounding irritated.

Sue noted that Patrick brought Pete deeper into the discussion.

"Patrick, there are times when I don't understand what you are going through with all this music stuff. You were right when you said that earlier. I don't deny that...... Pete helps put things into perspective for me. We don't bad mouth you in anyway - He's your best friend, he just wants to help," Shay said trying to explain to Patrick why Pete was so important to their relationship.

A stand alone relationship.... she jotted down as inconspicuously as possible.

Patrick nestled his hand against his cheek, he was deep in thought.

"I see Pete being an important presence to both of you in your life," Sue said looking at the two.

"He is," Shay nodded. Patrick didn't speak. He only used his body language again by nodding.

"Then you're very fortunate. I see a lot of marriages break down because of the involvement of a third person. If what you both have with Pete works, then that's commendable..." she said with a smile.

She noticed the couple in front of her nodding slightly. She could tell by their facial expressions that she had lit a fire. They had begun thinking about this third party and his involvement with their family.

Both seem to accept the presence of Pete in their lives but I'm unsure as to whether it's absolutely a happy conclusion. Obvious connection with the children, works with Patrick, need to establish his intentions with Shay...

"Is she settling?" Shay asked, seeing Patrick with Natalie in his arms, her head buried into his shoulder.

"I think so..." he whispered, his gentle swaying was sending her into a deep sleep. Shay had noted a change in Patrick's demeanour with the children recently. He was attentive, he really listened to them and deep down, started to get a full sense of the fulfilment that children should have brought to his life a long time ago. It felt rewarding, they actually gave something back to him, love. And not that type of love that would be easily offended either, it was a dependent love, his children needed him.

Rory was a talker, he loved to engage in conversation with anyone, he spoke to anyone who would listen, he held doors open for old ladies and he doted on his Mom. He never left her side when she was busy:

"I wanna do that Mom Lemme pour that in Mom Can I do that Mom?"

Aimee was quiet, almost withdrawn but very affectionate. Out of all of them, she looked the most like Patrick and undoubtedly, was similar in personality too. She was a thinker, when you spoke with her, she really looked into your eyes and sometimes he felt that maybe Aimee was trying to suss him out, even if there wasn't anything to be questioned.

Then there was Natalie, who was noisy and a keen watcher of anyone around her. She picked up new tricks quicker than the other two, she had a dark mop of hair like Shay, it curled at the bottom and Patrick had loved to tug at them softly and watch them bounce back.

He had learned so much about them, it had been a journey he wish he'd embarked on sooner, but better late than never. They didn't appear to hold anything against him. He started loving the chirping of "Dad, Dad Dad!" in the mornings from all 3 of them and it gave a great sense of pride of fatherhood.

He crawled into bed that evening, he leaned over Shay.

"Muffin?..." He whispered, she smiled to herself.

She rolled back towards him.

"Do you think this counselling is helping us?" he whispered, kissing her neck.

"I do." She said softly.

"I love you Shay, through all of this..." he said, she pulled his head down to kiss her and silenced his words.

As she laid on his damp chest after making love, her thoughts fired at each other in her head. It had been an emotional rollercoaster going through this therapy. She'd learned some home truths, she was OK with them, it just meant minor adjustments, communication, honesty. It's not that they didn't have it, they just didn't have enough of it.

His hands raked through her hair. They hadn't made love like that since Natalie had been born. This therapy must have released some tension they never knew they had. It was that moment when Shay looked at him, and it was just like that look from the first time they made love all those years ago. Sex was overrated but it was vital to a healthy open marriage. He always felt shy of talking about it with Shay, especially after having the children. Something serious had changed with in her since Aimee was born. He wasn't a woman, thankfully, so he couldn't comprehend it and as a man, was unable to broach the subject without it getting awkward.

Shay felt sick. Not the reactive kind of nausea, the one that settles deep deep down. It kept her awake. Patrick's arm, heavily slipped off and she wriggled free, curling up around his shoulder. She stroked down the hair on his face and over his lips, he stirred slightly.

"I'm so sorry...." She whispered and quietly got herself out of the bed, closing the bedroom door behind her.
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