Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Loves Punishment (READ THE NEWEST AUTHORS NOTE!)

The Reason I'm Yours And No One Elses

by DetectiveDaughter 3 reviews


Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2007-03-07 - Updated: 2007-03-08 - 2427 words

It took a minute because I've been busy. I hope you like this one. I've had her character planned from the beginning and its sometimes hard to get it into a chapter. I hope it isn't too bad. I'll rewrite it if you guys don't like it.

Chapter 16

They sat around the table in an agonizing silence. All four bodies were tense, motionless. It was hot in the room as one slurped tea through their teeth and another cleared their throat. The heat was that of anticipation. Someone waiting for anyone to make a move. Everyone traded looks and smiles attempting to cut the excruciatingly dead atmosphere. No one knows what to say to people one does not desire to be around. Instead you observe noiselessness until the torture passes. That is, normal people don't know what to say.

"So, tell me Arissa, What do your parents think of you spending Christmas away from home?" Peter looked up startled at his mothers next attempt to make Arissa feel out of place.

"I don't really know what they think to be honest." Arissa answered ripping the napkin in her lap into tiny pieces nervously. She looked down mentally preparing herself for another attack.

"Didn't you tell them you weren't going to be home this year?" Mrs.Wentz asked smugly. She took her glass from the table in front of her and put it to her lips awaiting an answer.

"No, I didn't." Arissa looked up from her lap at Mrs.Wentz as she placed the glass back on the table readying another set of questions. She flipped her hair out of her face and before Pete's mother could speak again Arissa went on. "I don't really speak to them."

"And why not?" Arissa felt taken aback. This woman didn't know her and yet had formed an opinion so quickly. She was grilling her right there in front of her son, Arissa's boyfriend.

Peter reached for her hand under the table and Arissa pulled back. He hadn't stood up for her once the entire night. He'd made it clear early on that he didn't want to talk about Jeanae, but hadn't made it clear that Arissa was his girlfriend and did deserve some amount of respect. She cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak.

"Arissa, you don't have to answer that question." Peter stopped her response. She looked at him through narrow eyes and huffed. She placed the torn up napkin on her plate and swallowed.

"Oh, so, you can talk." Arissa remarked sadly. "I was starting to think you had gone mute." Pete sat there dumbfounded and bit his lip before reaching her out to her again. She pulled her hand away and put it on top of the table. Peter averted his gaze before sitting back all the way in his chair a look of annoyance plastered to his face. The slow burn in his eyes was a clear resentment of self.

"Arissa." Mrs. Wentz encouraged.

"I don't speak to my parents because they aren't the easiest people to love." She looked at Pete making sure she had his attention for a story he hadn't heard and went on, "When I was fourteen I woke up to a note on my pillow that said, 'It just isn't worth it anymore.' It was from my mother." She talked slowly. Letting out measured breaths. "I went into my parents room and found all of her clothes missing. I could hear my father crying downstairs." Arissa closed her eyes trying to recall the exact sound. The way it was a muffled whine. It was masculine yet, completely lost like a little boy. She opened her eyes again and bit her lip.

"You don't have to go on dear." Mrs.Wentz offered.

"I want to..." Arissa replied knowing Mrs.Wentz didn't want to hear the story, her story, for fear of feeling guilt. "I went back to my room and got dressed. After that I went downstairs and found my father curled up in a ball an empty bottle of vodka in one hand and her picture in another." No one interrupted her story and she could almost see a tinge of regret written across Mrs.Wentz's features as she shook her head in a disbelieving way.

"I took the bottle and threw it in the trash along with each bottle I emptied after. I went back to my father and told him to go get cleaned up." She paused. "He did and I made breakfast. When he came down we ate and then he went to take a nap. I cleaned the house from top to bottom and threw all of her pictures out. When I was just finishing my father came downstairs and told me I'd better start planning if I still wanted to have a party on my fifteenth birthday because he said, 'Now you have to do it alone.' I said okay and he handed me a credit card and left." Arissa glimpsed at the eyes on her and laughed bitterly.

"When he came back a week and a half later he was drunk. He'd been looking for her." She whispered. "My father gave my mother everything and it was never enough for her. He let her treat him like he was nothing day in and day out for years and never did anything. He was actually surprised when she left. I wasn't." Arissa said darkly and sighed as a few tears escaped. "I had my party and as promised my dad went out. No supervision. That was the deal. My present." Arissa smiled proudly the way she had when she'd told her friends the news. "When he got back later that night I was cleaning up the mess with a couple friends. He was wasted again. So, I sent him upstairs and asked my company to go home. Once they'd left I went to check on him." A lump in Arissa's throat caught up to her and she coughed. Tears streamed down her face and she stayed silent for a moment.

"Arissa..." Peter touched her shoulder and she cut him off.

"Don't Peter." She looked at him hatefully. "When I walked into his room he wasn't there or at least I thought he wasn't. I turned to leave the room and he was by the door..." She stopped and let out a pained sob. "He whispered my name and stepped closer to me. I stepped back and then he lunged at me. I was fast and jumped back." Her head drifted to the side and she sniffled. "He...He g-got a hold of me and breathed things about me looking just like her." She gestured, cringed and when Peter tried again to comfort her she shrunk away. "When he was trying to get his hands under my dress...I...I hi...I hit him over the head with a-uh-a lamp." She stood and backed away from the table keeping her eyes on the floor. "That night and every night after that I locked my door whenever he was home. Even after he apologized and begged for me to forgive him. I graduated early and moved out with my best friend, the only person I ever told."

"Arissa, I'm so..."

"Don't be sorry because you should be Mrs.Wentz." Arissa looked up at her. "Don't be sorry at all. Up till now you've shown no shame. Why start here?"

"Arissa..." She tried to speak, but Arissa didn't let her.

"I don't want pity. I told you because you asked. I don't want to be some cliche." Arissa tilted her head upward and stared off slightly. "It never happened. It's just another trite story of a sad little girls life. I'm a woman now." She cleared her throat and reached up to wipe away her tears. "Excuse me." She pushed her chair in and walked out of the dining room. She heard Pete lashing out at his mother as she made her way to the restroom.

Once safely behind a door Arissa locked it and grabbed a Kleenex to fix her make up. She had to look presentable. She ran some warm water and put the white tissue under the tap. She turned the water off and looked at herself in the mirror ashamed. She couldn't believe she cried in front of that woman. Dragging it under her eye carefully, she erased the black streaks that served as clues to her little fit. Once she was satisfied with herself she threw the tissue in the trash.

Sniffling she looked down at her shaking hands. She didn't want to look at herself. There was knock at the door and familiar calming voice. "Arissa?" He tried the knob. "Let me in baby. Please."

"I'll be out in a minute Peter." She said and lifted her body to sit on the counter.

"No, Arissa, I want you to let me in...Please." He begged. Arissa reached over and undid the lock.

"Come in." She said a little above a whisper.

Pete slipped through the door and closed it behind him. He smiled at her apprehensively and cocked his head to the side. "Why didn't you tell me about any of this Riss?" He asked sensitively.

"I don't know. We've never really talked about our families and even if we had I wouldn't have..." She paused. "It makes me feel...dirty. I didn't want you to think I was tainted."

"Tainted?" He asked quietly. "Arissa..."

"I know. It's not my fault and I shouldn't blame myself." Arissa chimed in having heard it all before from Emerald. "I don't blame myself. I blame my mother...and Eve."

"Eve?" Pete questioned.

"Yeah. Her and all her damn knowledge." Arissa giggled.

Pete shook his head. "Arissa, it isn't fu..."

"I know Peter. I need you to ignore it though." She stared at the wall behind him. "I need you to pretend it isn't there. If you don't I'll go crazy. I've made it all this way passing for semi-normal." She laughed half heartedly. "Let's try for all the way?"

"Yeah...Okay." He gave her what she wanted and then stepped closer to her cautiously. "I love you." He breathed stepping between her legs and placing a kiss on her cheek.

"I love you." She returned. He looped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. "Did you love Jeanae?" She inquired slowly.

"Riss...I..." He picked his head up and looked at her grabbing her small hands in his own. "Yes."

"Why did you break up?" An overwhelming desire to know more about the one before her was filling her head.

"We just weren't right for each other anymore." He inhaled deeply. "The person you love should complete you. Not possess you."

"Thank you for being honest Peter." She placed her lips to his and closed her eyes. "Can we go back to the hotel?"

"Of course." He nodded and lifted her off of the sink. "I'm ready to get out of here."

"Me too." She agreed.

Pete opened up the door and grabbed Arissa's hand pulling her into the hall. He wrapped an arm around her waist and hugged her close as they walked into the foyer. She grinned when he tickled her softly and shoved his hands away. When they looked up from their little game Pete's parents were staring at them amazed. Pete had made everything okay again. He just talked to her for a few minutes and she was back to being sweet and polite.

"You alright Arissa?" Mr.Wentz asked.

"I'm fine Sir. Are you?" She smiled brightly and raised a brow.

"I'm good." He answered amused at her change of mood.

"Mrs.Wentz?" Peter's mother nodded. "Peter?"

"I'm fine baby." He beamed. "You?"

"We did me." She giggled.

"We did?" He asked kinkily.

"Pete!" She gasped. "Your parents are..." He cut her off.

"Clueless." He finished and looked her up and down. "We're going to leave now." He directed his comment toward his parents with his eyes still on Arissa.

"You are?" His mother finally spoke.

"Yes, we are." Pete snapped slightly. "We'll be back Christmas morning."

"But what about..."

"I have a feeling I'm not going to want to see you tomorrow." Peter answered his mother before she finished. He let go of Arissa and moved past his mother to get their coats. His father followed in order to give his son a bit of advice on his mother.

"Arissa, I really am sorry." Mrs.Wentz tried once the coast was clear.

"No you aren't...But you will be." She assured her. "Once you get to know me you'll wish you had been nicer. You only get one chance to make a first impression. I'll never forget yours." She paused. "I'll forgive you, but I'll never forget." She laughed lightly. "I'm a good person and I think I've proven that...I'm good to Peter and I'm not trying to tie him down like you think. I just want to be with him for as long as he lets me. I love him."

"I appreciate your dedication to him and I hope the next time we see each other you can give me a chance to get know you." Mrs.Wentz smiled. "I judged you before I met you. I was wrong. I do apologize."

Peter returned with their coats and helped Arissa put hers on. "Thanks baby."

"No problem. You ready?" He asked as he zipped his jacket.

"Yes. I am ready." Peter grabbed Arissa's hand and led her to the door where they said their goodbyes. Once they were out the door and in the car Arissa let the weight on her shoulders lift. She went over the nights events in her mind and sighed.

"You tired Riss?" Peter asked from the drivers seat.

"Very." She answered softly. Peter reached for her hand and held it in his before kissing it. They drove along in silence.

It was a content silence filled with knowledge and acceptance. Something had changed between them. They had moved to a new level of understanding. A new level of trust, emotion and love.

Arissa smiled to herself as she looked over at Pete. "I love you so much." She rasped.

"I love you too."

Peter looked over at her as she drifted off to sleep. He looked out the front windshield again and drove towards the hotel. Grinning slightly he thought of his plans for the next week with his girlfriend. His future. His life.

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