Part 4 In which Molly reunites with her friends in a series of vignettes. Also in which Molly and Patrick finally have their first real conversation without any interruptions or dramatics in almos...
"Spending money always makes me feel better." Elyse insisted as they walked through the mall.
"That's cause you're an addict. We can get you help. You just need to admit you have a problem."
"That's like the pot calling the kettle black 'Ms. Oh look a party'."
She caught up with Matt for lunch a few times and pretended to be surprised when her first Chicago friend came out to her.
"College really opened my eyes and let me accept the real me." Matt had told her one day.
"Really?" Molly squeaked out while she tried not to laugh. It would be too mean. "That's great. As long as your happy." She insisted.
"Everyone knew huh?"
"No....no...really this is a big revelation for us."
"You can tell me."
"Ok yea, we all knew back in our junior year."
She then collected her fifty bucks from Pete who had been convinced that it would take Matt straight through college graduation before he admitted he was gay.
"Are you sure he really came out and didn't just imply it?" Pete said from where he was laying on his bed next to Molly.
"Yes. He came out. He said "Molly, I'm gay. I'm sorry." And then I insisted he had nothing to be sorry for." Molly said without turning her attention from the episode of ER she was trying to watch.
"No really. He REALLY said that."
"Yes Peter. He really said that. Now I want my money and I want to watch Noah Wyle in peace."
"Damn." He muttered as he grabbed his wallet off the night stand. A few seconds later he looked at her again and asked, "Do you take checks?"
His answer was a pillow to the face.
Andy spent his "catch up time" with Molly by dragging her with him to some underground shows and "ADL" events. Then made fun of her for refusing to put her name on anything.
"Andy, I don't care if it's a good cause. These kids take the sim cards out of their phone's when they aren't using them 'cause they are afraid of the cops getting the names of people in their phones. My name isn't going down on anything."
"But...Molly. Its the only the Animal Defense League. Don't you like animals?"
"Andy...." Molly said with a warning tone to her voice.
Joe and Molly wound up catching up in a slightly different way.
"I shouldn't be doing this." Molly murmered quietly to Joe from her spot on his bed.
"I know. Me either." He whispered back into her ear.
"But ya know what?" Molly said dreamily leaning in closer to Joe.
"What?" He said back just as giddy.
"I don't care."
"I don't care that the two of you don't care. Pass the bowl already." Max said poking her boyfriend from where she sat next to him and reached for the pipe the three had been sharing.
Over her three "healing" weeks Molly also spent time with Dr. Jacobs, who repeatedly prodded her about the fact that she spent time with all of her friends, except for her ex-boyfriend.
"It's too weird. I'm still a little crazy about the kid."
"Easy for YOU to say. It's not like he's all that easy to track down. He's either at home sleeping or on the road with his band. They're developing quite the following ya know." Molly said proudly.
"That's great. By next week you better have spoken to him. We're done for today." Jacob's said dismissing her.
"Fine. Whatever." Molly grumbled as she stalked out of the office.
It was all this ultimatium that led Molly to be standing on Patrick's doorstep contemplating whether to knock or ring the doorbell. Finally, after a good five minutes of thinking about it Molly reached out and pushed the small chime. Not even a minute later the door opened to reveal Patrick's mother.
"Molly?! Oh dear lord, get in here you." The next thing Molly knew she was being pulled into a hug. "How are you darling?"
"Umm...I've been ok Mrs. S."
"How many times do I have to tell you it's Pat or Mom."
"Well nevermind that. Patrick's not home right now hun, but he should be in about a half hour. So you're going to come upstairs and help me make dinner."
"Uhhh...." Molly articulated as the short whirlwind of a woman directed her into the kitchen.
"So, when are you and my son going to pull your head's out of the ground and realize you're perfect for each other?" Molly raised an eyebrow in surprise at the blunt question that her ex's mother directed at her over a bowl of what looked like the beginnings of a meatloaf.
"Well, we're just friends now...Mrs...umm...Pat."
"You shouldn't be. If you could see some of the girl's he's brought home since you two broke up." Patricia Stump shook her head sadly.
"Oh come on. They can't be all bad."
"They weren't "bad" per say, they were just...not quite right for my Patty Cakes." Molly smirked at the familar nickname that she knew had Patrick been in the kitchen would have had him whining "mooommmmmm" and fiddeling with his hat.
"Honestly, if I thought he'd take me back, I'd ask him." Molly admitted to her ex's mother. Mrs. Stump looked up at the younger girl with a smile.
"That's all I needed to hear to give me a little bit of hope."
"Hope? You do realize we're still kind of young right?"
"So? A mother knows these things. And I knew it the second you two walked through that door together when you first moved here." Molly chuckled in response to the statement and then stopped when Patrick's mother continued, "I actually had my suspicions when Patrick came home a week before that and told me all about this new girl who had just transfered from New York, I saw something in my son's eyes that day that I had only seen in one other persons ever."
"Who's?" Molly asked curiously, almost dreading the answer, and at the same time needing to hear what she suspected.
The woman's conversation was interrupted thirty seconds later by the sound of the front door opening and Patrick's voice calling out he was home. A few seconds later he poked his head into the kitchen and said,
"Hey..." Molly trailed off.
"What...I mean, Hi." Patrick articulated badly.
"Hi. Can we talk?"
"Uh...yea. Sure. Come on upstairs." Patrick said to Molly, "Mom we're going uptairs." He added turning to his mother.
"I figured when you told Molly to come upstairs." Mrs. Stump said with a chuckle. Patrick only blushed in response and walked out of the room with Molly following him.
"Sooo...." Patrick finally broke the silence that the two had been sitting in for almost ten minutes from his perch on his bed. Molly shrugged from her position on his desk chair across the room.
"My shrink said I had to talk to you."
"No one told you?"
"No one really tells me anything that has to do with you. It's been a rule for a while and I guess I never really told anyone you were a safe topic of conversation again." Patrick informed his ex.
"ok....well...I've been seeing a shrink. He's got me on a course of zoloft. So apparently I'm gonna be all happy go lucky again eventually."
"Remind me when you were all happy go lucky?"
"I thought so."
"Wentz is your best friend."
"What's your point?"
"I dunno. I figured that'd imply that making fun of the mentally disturbed isn't good for your health." Molly ground out trying to look threatening. All she recieved in response was a laugh from Patrick. "What's so funny?"
"The fact that I'm pretty sure you and Pete were seperated at birth in some freaky 7 year age gap way."
"Whatever. So what's up with you?"
"Band crap. That's pretty much it."
"Oh it is, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade one day of all of this for anything."
"Not even me?"
"Not even you. Esspecially not now."
"What if I told you I've changed. I'm a different person then I was back then. We could be together again. We could be happy again." Molly suddenly said with a desperate tone to her voice.
"Wow. Amazing how things reverse themselves with time isn't it?" Patrick said sarcastically.
"I love you." Patrick sighed at her statement before taking a deep breath and saying,
"Listen Molly, you are one of my favorite people in the universe. No matter what happens you will probably always be one of them. I just don't like you very much anymore."
"How does that work?"
"You're my first love. That makes you important to me. I just....you've been self destructing for far longer then any of us realized and I can't have you dragging me down with you. I just can't right now. I won't let you ruin this chance for me."
"...I wouldn't. I understand how important the band is. I'm even willing to play second fiddle, so to speak, for a while until you trust me again. There was a time when I was more important then the band."
"Yea, there was. Not anymore. Maybe you still would be if things had been different."
"What would it take for me to get there again?"
"I don't know. It's so hard for me to trust you now." Patrick said staring at the floor. And at that moment Molly realized that even though only about four feet seperated them it might as well have been four thousand.
"I'm going to earn back that trust Patrick. I promise. Even if it means that we'll only be friends. I need to have you back in my life somehow. I'll go now." Molly responded softly to which Patrick just nodded and didn't look up.
Two days later Molly was reading a book on her futon when she heard her bedroom door open and feet on the stairs. Looking up she was surprised to find Patrick's head poking over the landing.
"Permission to enter?"
"Uh....yea. Whatsup?" Molly asked.
"I thought about what you said the other day. And then I thought about what I said. And I realized we left it just as bad as we always do. No closure. So I thought up something I need to say, I'm going to say it and then I'm going to leave."
"Ok...." Molly said to him having finally realized that clinging and trying to force him back into her life wasn't the way to go about it.
"Ok....here goes." Patrick said more to himself then Molly. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes for a second. Opening his eyes he looked Molly straight in the eyes before stating firmly,
"I understand that it was probably whatever was going on in your head at the time that caused you to break up with me. I get that now. But, that doesn't mean that you still didn't rip my heart out and stomp all over it. Almost a year later and I'm still healing from that breakup. I gave you my whole heart Molly and you threw it away when things looked like they were getting too difficult. That said, I'm still completely in love with you. I love you more then anything in the world. I was lying when I said the band was more important then you, 'cause nothing is more important then you are to me." Patrick ran a hand over his face and seemed to be trying to gather himself to get the rest of his statement out. "I just need time. I'm still too hurt to get back together yet, I honestly don't know if we could ever be together again, but I'd like to think that maybe its possible once I have time to work through everything for good. Once you have time to get yourself back on track for good. It's my turn to be selfish. I have to be in order for the band to take off and for me to work through everything that's happened between us since we met. I'm sorry, just give me some time." Patrick's last sentence was said with an almost pleading note to it. Molly smiled at him with tears in her eyes.
"I'd wait for you forever." She said softly in response. Patrick nodded to her before turning and walking down the stairs and out of the room. Molly sighed and relaxed back into the couch. Looking down at the book she had been reading she dropped it to the floor next to her before closing her eyes and letting herself cry out all the frustration and exhaustion of the past few weeks. Only this time, with Patrick's speech in mind, a lot of her tears were tears of joy and hope.
A/N: Title from: "Now" by The Pat McGee Band (this is one of my absolute favoritest bands EVER and everyone should love them)
also...if anyone reading this is ADL. I do support them. I go to benefits/shows quite regularly here in NY. However, there are some fanatics that scare the crap out of me. So I don't speak from an uneducated place.
So here is the first chapter of Part 4.
I know that there were people waiting (im)patitently for it, and I have to say "i'm not sorry"...I have a life. A very busy one. A very busy one that involves the industry that the boys we love to write about work in. If we can wait for Pete's blogs when he disappears for a week at at time we can wait for my mediocre writing. When I started this I didn't have a job which is why I could update multiple times a day every day.