FicWad

I sat on the soft cushiony couch in the shrink's office staring at my hands as Kaela looked at me and sighed.
"Alex, we won't be about to help you get better unless you start talking."
"What am I supposed to say?" I looked up at her with incredibly tired eyes.
"Like why you tried to kill yourself." She said sadly writing something down on the clipboard. "And why you either don't take to meds that were prescribed to you or you take more than the prescribe dosage."
"I don't know." I sighed shifting impatiently in my seat. "You're the doctor, why don't you tell me?"
She sighed and put down her glasses, then drummed her fingers on the desk.
"I can't help you unless you help yourself."
I nodded slowly and thought back to that night, how I completely lost it and decided to throw myself off a bridge.
"I'm not entirely sure why I did it." I ran my hands through my greasy hair. "I just know it involved Chloe."
"Ahh, now we're going somewhere." She said scribbling furiously. "Do you think you tried to kill yourself because of Chloe?"
"I'm not sure; I just know it was incredibly stupid of me."
"So you don't think you're going to need to be locked away?"
"I don't think so." I said hopefully.
"Well, I'll have Patrick and Pete keep an eye on you."
"Ok." I sighed getting up and walking to the door. "What about my meds?"
"Let's see how you do without them for a week." She said picking up her clipboard and putting the papers back in my file. "If you feel you absolutely need them we'll give you the weakest dose and see how it goes, you might just think you need them."
I smiled and let the door shut quietly behind me, then walked out into the lobby. Patrick stood facing the magazine rack. When he heard someone walking behind him he turned and his face lit up when he saw me.
"Everything ok?" He said into my neck as we hugged tightly.
"Fine, not fantastic but fine."
"Good." He said let my go and looking me up and down. "Let's go, we have things to do."
I nodded and walked out of the office I had become so accustomed to. We got in the car and went back to my house. After that night I refused to talk about it. It was something to touchy that I really didn't want to talk about. It was something I refused to believe I actually tried to do. It was a stupid idea that had been on my mind for quite a while.
Back in the house everyone gave me reassuring smiles and I knew they were hoping for the best. They were hoping that whatever had getting inside my head had died and disappeared forever. Ma walked up and hugged me tightly. She refused to let me go after we got home at almost three thirty in the morning. It was almost as if she was afraid that if she did let go I would be lost forever.
"Hey honey." She said almost crying.
"Hi mommy." I said hugging back tightly.
"Feeling better?" Even when my mom said it it made me feel like something was seriously wrong with me.
All I could do was nod and go over to the couch. Sabrina made room and placed a pillow behind me. I shot her a look and moved the uncomfortable, lumpy pillow from behind me.
I hated it when people babied me, it made me feel inferior. She sighed and sat back. Silence sucked, but sometimes it was the best form of therapy. Again this was how we spent our time, sitting and watching mind numbing TV. Who knew this is what a popular rock band did in their spare time.
Meanwhile, Pete and Patrick were working on new songs; something they did about three times a month. Sometimes late at night I would hear the faint sound of an acoustic guitar and the strong sound of Patrick's finely tuned voice radiating through the paper-thin walls of the house. It was always a comforting sound, even now.
"So...." Her voice drained from last night staying awake by my bed watching to make sure I didn't go through with my stupid plan.
"Thanks." I smiled slowly turning to her.
"For what?" She questioned.
"For putting up with me and for sticking with me when someone else would've left the first day."
I saw the slightest smile play at her lips as she nodded and turned her attention back to Joe. Even when she refused to show affection at least I knew she cared enough to ask.
Over the next few days my condition continued to become stronger and soon my suicidal thoughts disappeared and were filled with plans if the wedding that slowly approached. In fact it was only a few weeks I was filling out the invites and we were getting ready to go through with the pre-marriage loose ends.
I hummed as I liked the sent of the invite envelopes and placed it on a stack with the others. Sabrina was helping put together the bridesmaid dresses, seeing as she was (of course) the maid of honor. As for the best man (Pete) and others tuxes, I was completely in the dark about it; but I trusted her.
Just as I placed the check beside the last person on the guest list I glanced up at Pete who was fussing with his hair in the bathroom right across from the living room. Venturing into Peter-land I pushed myself away from the couch and leaned against the doorframe with my arms crossed.
"Big date tonight?" I inquired.
He stopped and nodded as her put some type of leave in conditioner in his almost too healthy dark brown hair. The faint sheen of red still stuck to his bangs and the shagginess of his hair gave away that he hadn't had a haircut in a long time.
"With who?" I raised an eyebrow as he tried to part his hair, but being the unruly Pete hair it went stubbornly to the side.
"Kaela." He answered liking his fingertips and smoothing down his bangs.
"Awww, first date?" I cooed sitting down on the toilet and picking up a magazine.
"Yes, and I'm so nervous." He turned and sighed. "I don't even know if she likes me."
"Come on, you're a totally catch." I said punching his arm and turning him back to the mirror. "Puppy dog eyes, tan skin, perfect hair."
"You're just saying that."
"No seriously, you're lucky you suck hot stuff." I laughed.
"I can't take my best friend's fiancée seriously." He said going back to his hair and his eyeliner.
"Whatever." I rolled my eyes going back to the couch and picking up the bridal dress catalog. The endless pages of blinding white dresses made my eyes hurt.
That and my need for a reception gown were growing. When my eyes finally settled on a burgundy knee length dress I knew it was perfect. Patrick walked into the living room and settled onto the couch beside me. He planted a warm kiss on my cheek before flipping on the TV and glancing into the bathroom where Pete was now practicing his very cheesy pick up lines.
"What is Pete doing?" He whispered.
"Getting ready for a date with my therapist." I replied ripping out the page and handing the picture to him. "What do you think?"
"Beautiful, just like you."
I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently, just like old times. He started humming and played with my engagement ring.
"July 26th can't get here fast enough." He said looking into my eyes and brushing his lips against mine.
"Only one month, it won't be that long a wait." I pulled back and placed a hand on his chest.
"I'm an impatient person when it comes to the wedding night." He smirked and planted another warm kiss on mine before pushing himself off the couch and into the kitchen.
Just then Pete stepped out of the bathroom for the first time in over two hours; his hair neatly straightened, eyeliner perfect, hoodie almost too tight for his slight frame. He bit his lip and looked for approval from me.
"Well?" He lifted his arms and turned slowly.
"You look perfectly normal." I nodded. "Ready for anything, random fan-girl rapings, teenie jumping..."
"I get you point, I look like I always do." He looked hurt.
"That's a good thing, it proves that you haven't changed since the last time you saw her." I thought of something quick to say. "Maybe she goes for guys decreasing their sperm count by wearing pants that are constantly rubbing where they're not supposed to on guys."
He rolled his eyes and picked up his car keys and a bouquet of yellow roses off of the counter.
"Good luck and no penetration on the first date!" I called out the door as he climbed into his car and took off.
Smiling I leaned against the doorframe and watched the taillights disappear from view. Kaela was a lucky person if they did start dating. Pete was a sweetheart; he just had too many broken hearts to show for it.