Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Between your smiles & Regrets

Do you like to hurt? I do. I do. Then hurt me.

by burnbaby_xburn 12 reviews

Do you love me?

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: G - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Warnings: [!] [V] - Published: 2007-03-19 - Updated: 2007-03-19 - 2460 words


I stood on the stairs, frozen in place. I wanted to run so far away, as fast as I could but my legs felt like they had sunk in cement. I just had spent an evening with someone who I was in love with, a wonderful evening with him, pouring his heart out to me about how he needed me in his life and how he was nothing without me, only for it to be complete lies and me to catch him weaving those lies. I watched as he set his phone down on the counter and then stretched in front of the glass and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. He looked sleepy and content with himself. Completely at peace with everything that he had going on right now. I felt like my heart was in my throat and that everything was good, had gone to hell. How could he do this to me? How could he screw with someones feelings like this to the point where he knows that everything is going to end up messed up.

Pete turned around and started towards the stairs, still very unaware of the fact that I was standing at the top waiting for him to notice that I had heard everything and that I was now aware of how much I actually meant to him. I watched his steps and as if in slow motion I took a step down one stair, leaving three stairs before the kitchen floor. Pete stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up once he heard my feet hit the stairs, I felt like breaking down again and going back to square one. Pete's head snapped up and his eyes caught contact with mine. I stood there with no emotion on my face and his eyes searched mine for an answer. A possible reaction as to what his next move might be. I felt the tears start welling up in my eyes as he took another step towards me, he was within arms distance of me and I stood there doing nothing, feeling nothing but a distaster rolling in. Pete went to touch my cheek with his hand and I instinctively pushed him away. He tried it one more time before I finally got fed up with him and brought my hand back and slapped him accross his face as hard as I could. Pete's head snapped back to the side and his hair flew with his head. My hand stung like a bitch so I couldn't imagine how much his face hurt. I was seething and my blood was boiling. I was never the type of person to let anyone walk all over me and I wasn't about to start.

I clenched my teeth and I could feel the anger crawling up my skin, my blood seriously had to be boiling at this point because I couldn't even begin to express the amount of hate that I was feeling for him. Without even thinking I jumped on Pete and pushed him down the stairs. He fell with a thud and I landed on him. I started punching him as hard as I could in the chest and screaming at the top of my lungs at him. I wanted to hurt him as much as he has hurt me and this was my way of getting revenge on him.

"How fucking could you Pete?!" I screamed and hit his chest. "How could you?!" Pete squirmed underneath me, desperately trying to grab a hold of my arms to stop me from hitting him anymore. I felt a pair of arms wrap around my stomach and then quickly jerk me off of Pete. I started kicking and screaming to get out of the death grip that the pair of arms had on me. I was screaming at the top of my lungs to be let go, but I was not being let go. I took one last kick at Pete and kicked him in his side and then grabbed my arm out of the grip and took one last swing at Pete hitting him directly in the eye.

"Fuck you!" I spat as I was being hauled to the other side of the room by the arms that I now recognized as Andy's. My breathing was extremely heavy and Pete was now holding his eye and his side, standing up but barely. Patrick was awake now too and his hair was everywhich way and he was getting ice for Pete's eye before it got too out of control. Andy was standing in only his boxers and he had his arms locked around me in a severe death grip.

"Andy let go me!" I tried to get out of his grip again but I couldn't get lose at all.
"Not until you calm down and tell us what happened."
"I'm calmed down, let me fucking go goddamnit."

Andy finally let me go and I stepped to the side of Andy, my eyes were shooting daggers at Pete who now had a bag of ice on his swelling eye and holding his side.

"Yeah Pete, tell them what happened." I stood with my left arm holding me up against the table and my other hand on my hip trying to regain my normal breathing patterns. Pete looked at me with his one good eye and looked like he had just saw a ghost, but I had the trying look on my face to see whether or not he was actually going to admit to his infedility or not. I could tell that the boy didn't have the balls to stand up and admit to anything that he had done so I figured I might as well tell the story.

"Shit Pete, you can't actually sit there and tell me that you're speechless over what happened are you? Seriously? Guys, I'll tell you what's going on. I woke up in bed alone and came down to see where Pete was because last night he decided he was going to pull one of his two year old tantrums again and not talk to me when we came home. So I come down to the kitchen to see fuck face on his phone telling someone he misses him and AND!" I took a deep breath, "AND! telling her that he loves her too!"

Patrick looked like he was going to kill Pete. I had never in a million years seen Patrick as mad as I did when I just spilled out what had happened earlier. His face had turned a shade of bright red and you could see his jaw clenching in his mouth.

"That's not the worst part about all of this, she knew about me and he was telling her that he didn't know when the next time he would see her because I'm coming on tour this time." I sneered and shook my hair out of the messy bun and then put it back up.

"Are you kidding me Pete?" Andy asked shaking his head. He and Pete just made eye contact and Pete said absolutely nothing. "Whatever dude." Andy just walked away from the whole situation and walked back upstairs to the bedroom area. This left Pete, Patrick and I alone in the kitchen foyer alone. I couldn't even stand to look at him anymore, there was no fun in this situation and I really didn't want to deal with Pete anymore. I started feeling like my head was going to explode and the longer I stood there the more I could feel the tears welling up into the back of my eyes, I didn't want him to know that he had won and I had caved so I followed Andy up the stairs and disappeared into the hallway where I didn't have the feeling anymore that I was being stared right through.

I didn't want to spend the night in Patricks room because he didn't exactly support me in the kitchen nor did he defend me. If anyone had done anything to him like that I probably would have reacted the same way I just did with Pete only maybe worse. Patrick is my life, and my best friend. I would go to the end of the world for him if that happened to him, or if anything happened to him, but in the foyer Patrick just stood there and didn't say or do anything. I stood looking at the bedroom that Pete and I had made love in earlier, the bedroom that he and I had shared many fun memories in before and leaned up agianst the wall. I could see the night stand beside the bed and saw the picture of him and I together. I missed those moments where we were so happy. I really don't know how things got so messy so fast. I slid down the wall and burried my head into my knees. Why was this so fucked up? Why couldn't it just be easy?

I felt a pair of arms grab me from underneath my legs and then around my back. I leaned into the body and realised that it was Andy to the rescue again and he carried me into the bedroom and laid me down on his bed. I couldnt stop crying, I just felt like the world around me was caving in and I had absolutely no one to turn to. I wasn't ever particularly close with Andy but I did have my moments with him, this being one of them. He sad down beside me on the bed and I just curled into his chest and cried. I didn't care anymore, I just need to cry my eyes out. He moved the hair out of my face and started soothing my back trying to get me to calm down in a gentle manner that he could only pull off. None of his actions were working though.

"Sweetheart, you've gotta stop crying soon or you'll be all out of tears." Andy rubbed my back some more and I started to calm myself down a bit. Andy was right, I need to the calm down and start thinking about what I'm going to do about this whole situation. Andy kissed me on the forehead and I laid down on my back and covered myself up with his blankets. I watched as the tall tattooed man walked out of his bedroom and then closed the door quietly behind him. I laid in Andy's bed, his sheets smelled of him and it smelled really good. His room was decorated in typical Andy fashion. Music magazines, cars, you know, the typical dark room for vegan drummer. There was clothes scattered on the floor and suitcases that have only been half unpacked from whenever they last got back from tour.

I laid in Andy's bed for god knows how long in complete silence until I heard the loud voices coming from right outside in the hallway. I tried my best not to listen, but curiousity always had gotten the best of me whenever it had its chance. I could hear Andy, Patrick and Pete talking outside probably getting ready to go to bed. I glanced at the clock and it read 3:34am in the morning.

"I can't even believe she did that much damage to you dude." I could hear Andy talking to Pete about how I was fighting him.
"Yeah well."
"You deserved it, why would you even be thinking about Sarah dude, she's totally not even worth it. Why would you even want to?"

I instantly recognized Patricks voice when he was speaking. I listened to him talk about the girl Pete was speaking to on the phone earlier, as if he knew about her all along and it was some sort of secret. I quietly picked up myself from the bed and tip toed over to the door, being careful not to make any noise to that the boys didn't know I was there. I kept hearing Patricks voice talk about the girl who Pete was talking to earlier.

"I don't know, but I'm getting tired."

I couldn't recognize the last voice at the end but before I knew it the door was flung open and I landed back on my butt. I landed hard on my tailbone and flat out on my back. I looked up to see a very puzzled Andy standing in the doorway. I saw Patrick poke his head in from the side and even though I was flat on my back I did my best to shoot him the dirtiest look that I could. I couldn't believe that he would betray me the way he had and didn't tell me about this other girl when supposedly he was my best friend. The person I counted on more then anything, relied on for the majority of my back bone, had just shown me how much I meant to him as well.

So not only in one night had I found out that my relationship was a complete sham with the boy who I was potentially going to get engaged to but, my best friend who was my world, the only one I trusted with everything was a complete sham as well. I was on a roll and the worst part is, is that tomorrow was another day and I had no idea what I was going to do with myself.

Andy leaned down and grabbed my hand and pulled me up off of the floor and over his shoulder. Patrick laughed and walked right on by Andys room towards his own. The whole time all of this fighting was going on, Joe was sound asleep. That boy could sleep through anything, maybe even a tornado if he had wanted to. Im glad that Pete's room was on the other side of the hallway so that he didn't have to pass by Andys door and I didn't have to see him anymore tonight.

I was carefully flopped down on the bed and Andy crawled in beside me. I giggled because this night was about as messed up as they come and I wasn't sure even how tomorrow was going to pan out at this rate. I yawned and curled into the pillow, I really needed to get some rest. I could feel my muscles starting to ache from being extremely tired and I felt emotionally drained for the night. I felt Andys arm snake around my back and he flopped down on the pillow and drifted off into sleep as well.

It wasn't long after Andy fell asleep that I fell asleep as well and drifted off to a place where everything was perfect.
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