Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > We're Both On Borderline Obsession

I'm The Addict, Smoking The Nitroglycerin That Will Bring Me To Life

by meeniemoe 8 reviews

Let's put it this way: The title is in Alice's POV. (But the chapter is just regular 3rd person lol). Alice is now in breakdown mode. =)

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Romance - Published: 2007-03-20 - Updated: 2007-03-21 - 1731 words

0Unrated
A/N: Whoa I nearly forgot to put an A/N here...then I remembered this morning. =) I'm glad you guys like it so far! (And to all the people who've already read this chapter and commented, you guys r-o-c-k.) And to everyone else who WILL read this: Go check out my friend's (Life_Is_42) fic, it's called, 'It was Just For The Experience'. It's about three girls who (by chance...) get to tag along with PATD on an internship. Purely by accident, though. ;) She has some great hilarity in it, but it still getting used to html and stuff around here. So comment on her, please. =P Now...for chapitre six. (french, again for chapter six, lol.) xoxo-nat

Chapter Six:
I'm The Addict, Smoking The Nitroglycerin That Will Bring Me To Life

First, there was an awkward silence. Derek coughed. Purely out of choking on the bag of chips he was eating, not to indicate that Alice and Brendon were taking a minute or two to gather up the courage to speak to one another the same way they did four years ago. But then again, even Derek didn't know that. It was all up to Alice and Brendon...

"Just stay at my place for awhile," Brendon started off a bit meekly on his part. Eyes shifted to Alice. Fuck, now I have to speak? This is...tragic... She thought disgustedly, but played her part anyways. It was just a fill-in role. Big deal, right?

"No." She said shakily. Okay, so maybe she was wrong-maybe it was a huge deal to her. Brendon sighed, and inched his way a little closer to her. She was starting to feel anxious, and a chill ran up and down her spine as Brendon placed a hand on her petite shoulder.

And before Brendon could say another word, Bonnie interrupted: "What did I say about saying no?"

"Okay, let's stay at your place." Alice grumbled, as Bonnie smiled a bit wider. That's better.

"Why didn't you agree to staying at my place sooner? Then...then..." Brendon trailed off. Alice could tell why he didn't finish his sentence; he didn't know the plot of the story. All he knew was that she had to stay at his motel, wherever the motel was, but he obviously had no clue that the whole story was about /them/.

"Then I wouldn't have been attacked by an angry mob, otherwise known as your loving fangirls?" She asked ruthlessly. She said it a lot angrier than she thought she did. Unfortunately, her one advantage of knowing the plot had just gone down the drain. Brendon was a moron at times, but just when Alice lost her guard, he found where she stood on this whole 'improvisation'. Alice mentally swore, and Brendon had just gained some newfound knowledge.

"I'm sorry. At least I'm not so egotistical to say 'Yeah, those are my fangirls, what's wrong with them?'" Brendon nearly spat.

"Oh, right. Are you kidding me? Listen to yourself! Every day, I hear you saying something about how un-egotistical you are, when all you really are being is...EGOTISTICAL!"

But unlike Alice, Brendon stuck to the guidelines of the improvisation: he kept going with the 'yes'. So after an awkward moment, Brendon paused and said a bit more softly, "Yeah..well..maybe I am a bit egotistical at times...But that's not the point."

It was like an apology in disguise. Alice knew Brendon was apologizing for everything he did (or could have possibly did) to hurt Alice before that very moment. But in this situation, she didn't know what to say. The guy was fucking /apologizing/...and she had to accept that.

"That's not the...point? What about your fame? Your 'everything'? That's your real point. It's where you 'belong'. And I just don't belong in that world-that world of insane fangirls and...and touring...You just don't understand..."

"No, I do understand. I understand more than you think I do." Brendon insisted realistically. They weren't acting anymore.

"Prove it. If you think you're so smart." Alice taunted through clenched teeth.

Awkward silence. Brendon didn't know what to do. How would he prove everything to her? "Forget it. It's not like you ever knew what to prove anyways. I can't believe you're such a total-"

But before Alice could say anything more insulting, Brendon felt every ounce of courage, ferocity, and urge in his body to step forth and kiss her hard on the lips. Alice's eyes were wide open as they kissed, and slowly, she melted into him.

In her mind, only one sentence reeled through: How could you see into my eyes like open doors?... As she felt his arm wrap protectively around her neck and his tongue snake stealthily into her mouth, she felt like she was on Cloud 9 again. It's like I'm leading you unwillingly down into my core...

I felt so numb before this...almost without a soul...like I was sleeping somewhere cold, until you brought me...back home.

"Ahem." Derek now coughed-on purpose/. Alice stepped away quickly, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand ungracefully. Brendon almost realized what had happened...and then he felt the full impact of it and his face turned beet red. Liz was almost grinning mad behind the purse she was clutching close to her, and Bonnie was clapping. "Well done, you guys!" Bonnie cheered. /Did she seriously think that was really acting? Brendon thought with shock.

"That was...wow." Liz finally said as well, and joined in the clapping. Alice looked at Brendon with confusion. Brendon returned the same gaze. What were they going to do? Absolutely fucking nothing.

"You should really take a shot at acting sometime, Alice..." Derek said off-handedly as he flipped through his notes. Alice paled. She already took it a step too far with the whole changing the novel to screen thing...But acting? That was a whole different level. She didn't belong out there, with the glitz and glamour.

"No...I'm not really quite cut out for acting..." Alice denied softly, and turned a soft blush of Fiji apple red. "Ah, ok." Derek mumbled, and made some cross-outs on his notebook. Brendon shuffled around nervously. "Brendon, that was fabulous. I've never seen such natural acting from a singer before!...Wow. That just...knocked my socks off. Quite literally, actually. Well, I think we're done here. I'll be calling you tomorrow...speaking of which, may I have your phone number to call you back on?"

Brendon stumbled an, "Oh, right, yeah..." And wrote down his number for him. Alice went over to Liz, who just patted her on the back, saying how great a step-in she was. But inside, Alice felt like she was breaking. She felt like she already sewed the scar back up, but it was tearing apart again. She was falling apart again. "I'm going to the bathroom, Liz." Liz nodded an alright-she was too fixated on Brendon anyways, so Alice slipped out of the room and went down the hall.

God, I need a fix... Alice thought as she raced down the hall, passing door after door. Finally, she reached the women's room door. God, there it is...I thought I'd never reach the bathroom with how long this hallway was...

"Wait." Oh god, I thought you were still in the audition room... Alice grumbled to herself. She sighed, and turned around to see a very nervous-looking Brendon. That's the Brendon they ought to capture in those paparazzi photos...

"Hi...Brendon." Alice said tentatively.

"So what I felt in there...did you...did you feel it too?" Brendon asked, almost out of breath. What a stupid question to ask! Brendon scolded himself inwardly. Alice, on the other hand gave a small smile. "Well...I don't know. If you felt something strange, I probably felt it too." And with that, she walked through the door. A gaping Brendon was nearly hit in the face, too. His revenge was tossed out the window-literally. He was dead set on making her jealous, making her green with envy of him...and she just flirted with him. And he was still blown away by her.

Something was drastically wrong. I need a change of plan... He thought meticulously before walking out of the building.

Alice, however, stumbled into the ladies' room in vain. Was my hair ok? Was my makeup smudged? Did he see that zit right below my chin?...Oh god, I look horrible... The thoughts scrambled their way into her head like...well...scrambled eggs.

A different part of Alice whispered, "I bet you can't keep up with these fashionistas..."

And? So what? The other part of her insisted.

Tonight you are a whispering campaign...amongst Brendon's friends of course... Her voice thought nastily. Of course she'd be a whispering campaign. Breaking Brendon's heart. It was so obvious in his eyes, his kiss.../No./ And all his friends would be thinking about how...how mean she was to him. But it wasn't intentional!

But the evil part of her kept talking to her rational side: I bet to them your name is cheap...I bet to them you look like sh--

"Don't even say it!" Alice yelled to herself out loud. A woman appeared from one of the stalls and gave Alice a strange look. Alice tried to wave to the woman in a pleasant manner, but only gave off the ambiance that she was slightly maniacal.

When the woman left, Alice continued her own conversation with herself.

/ So talk to the mirror, cheapskate./ Her voice taunted at her.

/ Oh, choke back tears!/ The same voice poked and prodded at her. Alice now looked into the mirror in front of her as a sad tear slid down her cheek. "And what? And keep telling myself that...that I'm a Diva?!" She cried hysterically. Her mascara ran, and her eyeliner was smudged.

She fell on the tiled floor, a complete mess, in a huge breakdown. And then, just when she thought she'd better get up and wipe her makeup away (start anew or something) Liz entered. Her eyes bugged out, and she said, "What the hell happened? Are you okay?"

Oh those smokes in that cigarette box...aren't they just laced with...nitroglycerin?

But one voice actually made sense in her head...: Brendon...Brendon's the nitroglycerin. I'm the addict.
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