Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > And I Wish You Away

Do you love me?

by haleyxhomicide 11 reviews

muahahhahahah, another chapter. Rate and Review bbys

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Characters: Frank Iero, Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Ray Toro, Other - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2007-03-21 - Updated: 2007-03-22 - 1707 words

Chapter 12.

All my life, I wanted to do something that mattered to someone else. I wanted to share what was in my head, my heart and my fingers, with everyone. I always played the guitar, when I was a kid, teenager and now as an adult; it's always been my outlet, my therepy, my life. Never, in a million years, would I have believed you if you said I would be in one of the world's biggest at the moment rockbands. It's like a dream, it was for all of us, especially when Bob joined and Gerard cleaned up. Well, now Bob's gone and Gerard's completely wrapped up in himself and his own petty little needs.
Something in me, tells me this is all going to end soon, four years isn't long for a band to be together, but I mean, the Sex Pistols were only a band three years and they're fucking legends. But still, since Bob died, all of us, have thought that same dreaded thought: it's dying.
Sometimes, you just need a breather from life, some time to lock youself in your room and drink coffee, watching the smoke from your cigarette rise and disapear into the air; some down time. Unfortunatly, there was no down time when you were in MCR, there was only chaos and stress, lots of caffiene and too much nocotene.

My thoughts were dazed and foggy, as I sat in the arena dressing room, half hazardly flicking the ash of my cigarette and pressing the tangy stick to my lips; sucking on it like I couldn't get enough of the poisen inside the white wrapper. The room reaked with deadly silence as we all sat, scatterd on the brown leather couches, beathing heavilly and slowly slipping back into reality.
The stage took all our breathes away, it rid of us our physical limits and put us up on a podium, so high, I felt like I was flying. I was swept up in the tragedy of Bob, beat down by Jamia, crushed and bruised by the face of our new drummer, and bitter towards Gerard, for existing so that she could love him.
I stood up, cigarette still smoking between my fingers, and stood in front of the mirror at the end of the room, no one noticed my sudden move. I inspected my face, inch by tired inch. Dark circles were begining to collect under bloodshot eyes, with makeup still attached to my lids. My lips were dry and chapped as fuck, begging for some kind of moister, if only I had time to buy some fucking chapstick. That Blistex stuff would have sure felt good at that point.
I lifted the cigarette to my lips and watched myself suck the life out of, my reflection screaming "CANCER!!!"; but at that point, I really could have cared less.
Just as I was about to turn away from the mirror, Lilana showed up behind me, smirking at her higher reflection.
I rolled my eyes and tried to hide a smile as I made my way back over to the couch, and plopped down next to Ray, stealing his coffee in the process.

"Yeah, sure, you can have some of my coffee" He said, rolling his eyes.
I nodded and downed the entire contents of the brown cup in mere seconds, earning a raised eyebrow from Ray.
The room fell silent again, save Mikey's inhaler, which he was using religeously lately, what a nerd.
I could tell everyone else was getting as sick of the silence as I was, and just as Lilana was about to open her mouth, Jamia comes burling through the door, dropping the contents of her purse all over the lanolium floor.
I stared for a minute, before she gave me a death glare, bringing me back to reality, "Oh, Jesus, baby let me help you!" I said, rushing to her side and helping her with the million items she kept in that oversized bag that was always hanging from one shoulder. Jamia stood to her feet, with the help of my arm and straightend out her blue button up shirt, letting her eyes immediatly fall on Lilana.
She made her way over to Lilana and I rolled my eyes, squishing in beside Gerard and Mikey on a loveseat.
"So, Lil, oh is it ok if I call you Lil?" Jamia asked, sarcasm dripping off her tongue, venomous and thick with accusation. But, Lilana smiled sweetly and played with her hands that were resting calmly in her lap, "Yes, that's fine." Jamia put on another fake smile, I was begining to get sick to my stomach, "Good, so how'd it go tonight?"

"It was amazing, it's really intense out there." Lilana continued to smile at the snake before her, looking like she was about to get up and run for her life.
"Oh, well that's nice. I wouldn't know." Jamia hinted for pitty, but Lilana obviously wasn't intersted in building up her self-asteem.

I wriggled free from Mikey's sweaty side and placed an arm on Jamia's shoulder, "Hey, sweetie, can I talk to you for a second?" I was fully aware that I was talking through gritted teeth, and so was she; but being the sweet little fake she is, Jamia simply smiled towards Lilana and let me lead her out the door.

As soon as we hit the hallway, her smile faided, physco bitch was back. "What?" She asked, her words cold and bitter, if words could slap you in the face and kick you in the balls at the same time, no girl would ever want me ever again, and I would NEVER be able to have kids.
My head slid to my feet and my shoes all of the sudden became the most intersting thing in the world. I cleared my extremely dry throat, despite the gallons of water I had just digested, and continued to stare at my shoes. "I just, wanted to talk to you, you know, about us..." I trailed off and moved my interest to the dingy arena backroom ceiling, noticing the nocotene stains, creating a nasty yellow haze on the once white surface. The site made me want to quit smoking; but being in a relationship with Jamia made that mere thought impossible, I don't think I would have survived a day.

She stared at me, fucking stared at me!! Boring holes into my face. I could hear the little crickets, like in those cartoons, it was such a surreal moment, I was almost tempted to slap myself to make sure it was real.
"Tell me you love me." My eyes shot into hers, which were glazy and prepared for tears.

I stood with my mouth open, like a deer caught in headlights, stupid, stupid stupid!! "What?"
Tears began to fall down her cheeks, and all of the sudden, she seemed beautiful to me. Vulnerabilty consumed her every feature and all I found myself wanting to do, was wrap her in my arms and kiss away her tears.
Instead, I just stood there, staring at her, not knowing if I should move, or what to say, or if I should even breathe.

"Jam, I-I-I--I, I can't.." Lilana peeked her head out of the hallway, immediatly regreting that decision as soon as she saw what was going on outside that door.

"Oh, sorry." She said, pulling her head back in and closing the door a little louder than she meant to.
Jamia turned her attention back towards me, with an entirly different look on her face: vengeful, bitter and seductive. "Come on Frankie." My name swelling up and falling off her lips, like some sore she had been carrying around, "Tell me you love me." The only thing that remained of her vulnerable moment, was the quickly drying tears that collected under her eyes.

I turned by back to her and ran my fingers through my hair, letting my hand slide down my cheek and eventually collecting in my pocket, while the other rested on the brick-like wall in front of me.
I've never been one to fight, I always let the woman push me around, and I don't suppose that night was any different from any other night. Jamia's hand made violent contact with my shoulder, forcing me to turn around and slam against the hard surface that I was once facing.

"Say it Frank!!!" She screamed into my face, veins bulging out her neck, hair ascrew and eyes wild with jealousy and rage. "Fucking say it!!!!" Her hand made contact with my face, my face made contact with the wall, my backside slid across the wall and down to the floor.
I felt like a child being beaten, I felt ridiculous, pulling my knees to my chest and cupping my hands over my head, trying to make that horrible moment go away.
Jamia continued to yell at me, how I was a fuck up, how she hated me, how I cheated on her. Warm, wet tears fell on my hands that were holding my heavy head. I lifted my head and stared at Jamia, who was now sitting quietly in front of me, crosslegged and calm.

I sighed and wiped away the tears in my eyes, saying the first thing that came to my cloudy mind, "I miss Bob Jamia."
Jamia smiled at me, allowing tears to slide down her soft, red cheeks. "I miss him too Frank."
I shook my head, "No, Jamia, he was my best friend, I loved him so much."

"No!" Her reaction struck me as strange, so I decided to shut up and see what she was going to say next. "Frank, I loved him."
I laughed slightly and played with the frayed fabric on my pants, "We all did Jam."
"No, Frank, I was in love with him."

mauahahhahahhahahahahha, cliffhanger!!!!!!!!!!! Just keep up the reviews and ratings and maybe You'll get a chapter soon. ahahh I'm so evil.
Oh and I have decided to keep this story entirely in Frank's POV.
And, it's going in a COMPLETELY different direction than I first thought.
AHahah, I thought I was going to be writing another Gerard romance.
I suprise myself sometimes.
Sign up to rate and review this story