Categories > Books > Harry Potter > One Shots and Drabbles

Super Mecha Magic Force

by fitzgerald 2 reviews

Armed with a wish Harry goes for what every young boy wishes for, his own force of Giant Magic Mecha.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Humor, Sci-fi - Characters: Harry, Hermione, Luna, Tonks, Other - Warnings: [?] [X] - Published: 2007-03-26 - Updated: 2007-03-27 - 3586 words

"So I get a wish, any wish I want as long as it doesn't involve time travel, restoring my dead loved ones to life or directly destroying my enemy and his lackies?" Harry asked for a moment before adding "Apart of course from my second already granted wish of getting my body to grow to the peak of human abilities including growing my penis to an immpressive nine inches from its average six."

The Goddess Urd nodded and said in a happy tone "Which I'm more than willing to give you a test drive later, you know to make sure its working properly. Can't be having my work subpar espacially with such a vital bit of equipment."

Giving the otherworldy beauty a shy grin Harry nodded and said "Theoritically speaking, would a team of magic giant mecha with say a giant moon base to repair deploy and upgrade said mecha and all sorts of nifty gadgets and googads to go with said base fit under my first wish."

Pausing a moment to consider her current clients file and the massive balance of goodness owed him do to some really nasty bugs in the system Urd hummed and hawed as she fiddled with the numbers. Frowning Urd cursed out her machinery for a moment before she gave it a solid thunk before the result she wanted appeared. Closing her cellphone once more Urd turned and gave the worlds current holder of the 'Job' award for most screwed over mortal a warm grin. "Only if your team consists of female hotties in a Harem with you. Gonna have to pick at least six and convince them to sign on the dotted line as the mecha require sexual energies to operate."

A sextet of hotties in giant sexual energy driven mechas was about the best she could do to get Harry's suffering quotient down to a reasonable level. Even then she was going to have to get the girls into really tiny and tight plaid skirt and barely there tops as a uniform, it was England after all one had to work with the local norms. Though the thigh length boots were just kick ass, Urd had to admit, damn funky and screamed GRRL Power.

"We could begin the interviews now if you like. I'll just pull the girls in and if they disagree I'll erase the offer being made from their memory and send them back none the wiser." Urd concluded wondering if she could wrangle her way onto the team. After all even before she had repaired all the damage done to Harry over the years he still was pretty damn hot for a soon to be sixteen year old. Now however he was a hunk o rama, and still a great guy, it had taken lots of explaining and effort to explain why he couldn't get his dead parents and godfather back, alter time or destroy his enemies before he would consider a wish to benefit himself.

Nodding at this Harry added sagely "Better start with Hermoine, she'll be able to find the flaws in my logic not to mention come up with further lists of girls to ask."

"Right then Hermoine Granger coming up" Urd said as she snapped her fingers and Hermoine in a wet bathing suit suddenly appeared, a two piece which did nothing to disguise her natural assests.

"Thank Merlin your scars gone" Harry said as he stared at Hermoine's chest.

"Harry!" Hermoine shouted in astionishment as she appeared in her friends room and focused in on his statement "Of course its gone the potions worked rather well."

"Whats going on this time" Hermoine asked as she took in the much improved physique Harry was showing off in his shirt less and boxer clad state ~ did the author fail to mention the absolutely silly heat wave beating down on Southern England. "Who in Circe's name is that woman."

"Names Urd sweet cheeks; Norn Goddess of the Past and Love, Second Class Unlimited here to give the laddo the two wishes he's earnt after a massive screwup up top." Urd answered cheerfully as she gave Hermoine a long once over and added sotto voice "Very girl next door hotness look going on there Harry, funky hair too, nicely done indeed."

"What do you mean wish? What are the peramieters? Temporal, spatial or magical?" Hermoine asked as she continued on in that vain for several minutes listing all sorts of interesting detials that Harry never knew before, really what could she want with a coconut, three grapes and a perputal motion machine.

"Giant magical mecha charged by sex magic huh Harry?" Hermoine said with her arms under her chest in her scolding tone which while effective in the form obscuring robes of Hogwarts wasn't in her bikini as it pushed up her assets which bounced in time with her tapping foot.

"I just wanted the giant magical mecha, Urd told me they had be charged with sex magic" Harry said as he double and triple checked Hermoine for any trace of the scar from the Department of Mysteries.

"Yup up to six ladies with no men other Harry invovled, only way for the wish to work for the hunkster over there." Urd said hungerly as she glanced up and down Harry's form "I'm pretty sure seven will be too much for his stamina even enhanced as its been."

Hermoine paused at that and began to whisper urgently with Urd with the phrases "nine inches" "how many times a day?" "Ron's that small?" passing between them followed by a bout of giggles.

After a few minutes Hermoine paused nodded and raided Harry's desk for quill and parchment before politely asking Urd to transfigure her something appropriate to wear. The addition of a tight mini skirt and tank top followed shortly afterwards.

"Right girls your able to work with Harry lets begin listing them off" Hermoine added in her take no nonsense tone he was all to familiar with.

"Err Alicia, Angelina and Katie" Harry began as he took in Hermoines surprised gaze "I played Quidditch with them for four years including some damn tough to pull off plays. Apart from you they're the ones I've actually spent the most time with and have any teamwork with."

Nodding at this Hermoine asked "Ginny, Luna, Cho, Pavarita? Any of those girls."

"Well apart from Ginny being an ex fan girl and looking like my mum and Ron's little sister." Harry stated "She's a backup opition."

Shuddering at this Hermoine spoke in a distutrbed tone "No Oedipal complexes then. Luna?"

"Sure. I mean apart from acting like a space cadet due to seeing her mum blown up in front of her Luna actually fought rather well and is pretty hot." Harry answered honestly before adding "Plus we know she'll figure out who is on the team instantly unlike everybody else."

"Cho and Pav?" Hermoine asked before taking in Harry's negative response "Right not those two then."

"Tonks maybe." Harry added in a sage tone "I bet a giant mecha would be welcome plus we can always count on her tripping and smashing up any of the Death Eaters home all accidental like compared to my plan of jumping up and down on them then torching them."

"Tonks is on the list then "Hermoine paused and asked after a moment "Any Syltherin girls"

"Tonks" was Harry's instant reply "Tracy and Daphne are social climbers even if they aren't Death Eaters. Way too much like my Aunt."

"Right lets begin the interviews I'm getting bored and haven't quality controlled my work on Harry yet" Urd proclaimed as she snapped her fingers and with a sudden thump Luna appeared in the room.

"Hey Luna I'm putting together a Giant Magical Mecha Force Team powered by sex magics you interested in joining?" Harry asked cheerfully as the odd Ravenclaw peered around the room.

"You are the only boy on the team right?" Luna asked shyly. At Harry's nod Luna suddenly grinned warmly and added "I call purple."


"Wait let me get this straight you want me to join your team of hotties fighting in giant magical mecha's powered by sex magic via your somewhat shorter but much thicker wand as compared to your 11 inches of Holly" Tonks asked in a bemused tone. "Let me see the uniforms first. No I'm not doing the slutty school-girl look, like the boots though. I need leather, leather and oohh is that a whip I can add nice touch. Sure sign me up Harry while me and Urd here do wardrobe consulatations."

"But what about Remus we all thought you were you know interested in him." Hermoine asked slightly shocked.

"Really you don't get it do you Hermoine. Harry, apart from being loaded, has a giant magical moon base that can fabricate any outfit I want plus giant magical mecha's. I mean what more could a girl want. Plus he actually got off his ass and asked unlike some foolish men I won't mention." Tonks answered before adding "Plus I mean nine inches with enhanced stamina a girls only going to live once she might as well take a slice of prime rib instead of having an average roast to herself."


Alicia turned to Harry and ran her eyes up and down his bare chested and boxer clad form "I'll need to give Harry a test drive here before making up my mind."

"Not before me" Hermoine growled in frustration, apart from Luna all the girls had wanted to jump Harry's bones right away. Luna just wanted to do it under the moonlight tonight.

"Threesome then. Alright I can go for that, your pretty cute as it is Hermoine" Alicia added sagely.

"Pff like I'm not jumping in as well Alicia. Seriously with Angelina hogging the twins I want a piece of our Seeker as well." Katie added vehenmently.

"Right then wish granted I'll get everybody up to the moon base" Urd declared instantly as she snapped her fingers transporting all seven of them to a giant room with a massive bed in it.

"Wait we still haven't interviewed the six girl yet!" Hermoine declared hasitly as she started shucking her tank top.

"Pfff like I'm going to let a seventh girl horn in on our uber hot hero besides I'm due vacation time anyway." Urd replied as she grinned saucily at Hermoine before snapping her fingers and caused potions to appear in front of the girls "No need to get knocked up yet ladies, piloting a giant mecha with morning sickness, just ick."

Harry however was smiling, sure Ron might declare Harry was stabbing in him the back by making a move on Hermoine, but then again Ron had never out and out said anything. Besides Ron owed him one for the whole nasty way he treated him during the Tri Wizard tournament. Plus Ron and Hermoine was a diaster waiting to happen, as if Ron could ever actually live with Hermoine's ambition and studious nature. Just not happening.

Add to that Luna's model hottiness, the two hot chasers he had many a dream about, Tonks and Urd what did Harry have to worry about. Oh there was Voldemort but with the giant magical mecha had that taken care of. Wait a moment, who to start with, damn that was going to be tough. Decisions, decisions, at least after this he could count on Hermoine to draw up a schedule for everyone. Well Hermoine was his best friend so it really was done to her and Urd, and Urd was currently shoving her tounge down Luna's throat it made the decision simple.


Hestia Jones was cursing her luck as she saw Harry vanish from his room filled with young hotties. Damn it she had only started on her shift fifteen minutes ago, Dung having kipped off for a 'deal of a lifetime', and hadn't had a chance to burst in and ask to be included in whatever hot sex game was going on. Curse her luck and curse Dumbledore too, she and Emmeline had worked on Sirius to let them, ahem, break Harry in last Christmas.

Emmeline was going to be pissed at this Hestia thought as she pulled out her mirror and whispered "Ms Victory", Emmeline always came up with the oddest nicknames.

"Honeypot whats the problem" was the whispered reply back after a minute. Hestia cursed her friends insistance on nicknames mentally.

"The young stud's been taken. Bushy, Spacey, Nymph, two of his chasers from the Lions and an unknown have gotten their hooks into his studly body. Dung for brains was off chasing a deal and I only got here a short while ago." Hestia fired off in a frustrated tone.

"Blast the fool, he could have been ours. Honeypot prepare for Plan H." Vance fired off quickly.

"Plan H now in effect. Though I mean he's already got like six in the harem already." Hestia replied hesitantly. Plan H had really only been developed between the two of them counting on the fact that at most he'd have three other girls lined up likely Bushy, Spacey and Red.

"Piff other than Bill Weasley whose already be claimed by the French Tart do you know of any other half decent male wizard out there." Vance bit back "Harry's the only above average wizard out there in his generation and he's a decent bloke if a touch young."

"Talking about above average the peeping charms have certainly shown he's grown alot since last summer" Hestia added gleefully "Another three inches worth"


Albus Dumbledore suddenly groaned in horror as he watched one of his remaining monitoring instraments tied to Harry Potter suddenly started humming a differient tune. All his efforts to keep him a virgin for the ritual sacrifice, all the love and lust potions foiled, the mental manipulations and inhibitors potions and work involved were all now rendered useless. How was Harry supposed to defeat the Dark Lord now, once Albus's best plan of using Harry in a ritual was gone. Face ashen Albus groaned once more as it keep going, the lad had aqquired himself a harem.

Fawkes on the other hand squawked happily and thinking wondering if Harry would want one of his tail feathers in a pimp hat. Then started wondering if he would look good in a fitted purple pimp hat, his blue one having gone missing.


Lord Voldemort shuddered for a moment as he felt Potters emotions blasting through their link. Oh his defence held for a moment but then the sheer force of a horny sixteen year old getting laid for the first time hammered through. Then again and again as the boy learnt about the pleasures of the flesh. Curse Wormtail for screwing up and his bodies utter lack of proper equipment. This was torture worse than the Crucio curse, a fact he considered as the convulsions started riding him. Then a barely rememberd spell came back to him, perfect for a few hours relief.

Then with a sudden wave of his wand Voldemort cast a spell and glanced at Bellatrix LeStrange where he had her floating along a wall as punishment. The potions treatments had restored some of her beauty and unlike most of his followers he wasn't a fudge packer. "Everybody out. Bellatrix and I are going to discuss her current failure."

At every bodies exit Voldemort vanished Bellatrixs clothes and opened his robes, really he should have thought of this spell a year ago. It may be a bit artifical but damn it he was going to enjoy taking Bellatrix, even if it was an ass's cock instead of his own.


Jumping up and down on the ruins of Malfroy Manor Harry was pleased, nay extatic over the performance of his team. Sixty-foot tall laser wielding giant magical mecha had made quick work of the Death Eaters and he was currently tracking down the last of them. Snape and Draco had bought it three days ago on the raid on Spinner's end to get Bellatrix. Well not so much a raid as watching Tonk's Silver mecha trip and land on the building crushing it and the occupants there in after teleporting in.

In the span of the summer Harry had wiped out all the Death Eaters, and more importantly Voldemort using the power of MAGI Force (Mechanized Assualt Girl Impowerment) seriously that was the last time he let Hermoine come up with ancroynms. Of course having plenty of sex, hot sweaty sex and with Luna and Tonks kinky sex, was great as well. They did have to charge up the Mechs somehow right.

Flipping his communicator to the teams full channel Harry asked "We did remove all the library books right?"

"Of course it was the first thing I did" Hermoine stated proudly. Urd had done her wish magic really well with Hermoine's mech ~ the blue one ~ as it came with a beam designed to remove any and all books to a secure location.

"Right we're done here then" Harry answered promptly "I'm up for a post victory romp. How about you girls?"

At the cheers that followed Harry sent the command to teleport them all back to the Moon Base ~ MAGI Force Central and grinned in anticipation. Really Sirius's instance last Christmas that in case he ever died and Harry was granted a wish of either restoring Sirius to life or getting a giant magic mecha to take the mecha was right. Plus Harry knew in his bones that getting a harem of hottie pilots was the icing on the cake, and his Dad and Sirius would be proud of him and cheering him on in the next life. As any proud mother would Harry was sure his mum was already begining to think of baby names.


So it was a buff hot and built Harry Potter stepped onto Platform 9 ¾ which was buzzing with the news of Voldemorts defeat and the death of a whole pile of others at the hands of a force of giant magical mechs. No one knew who it was exactly but Ron Weasely had a pretty good idea, after all his best mate Harry had been quiet all summer and he hadn't heard from Hermoine either. That or the two of them had hooked up, a fact that concerned both him and his sister greatly.

That Harry was surrounded by a bevy of hotties which included Hermoine in leather catsuits ~ Tonks had won that fashion battle after getting Harry into leather pants and jacket Ron was obviously gobsmacked. That the numbers included Alicia and Katie from the Quidditch team, Luna Lovegood and Tonks was enough to get his temper up.

Fortunately for Ron before he started eating shoe leather his mum cried out and tried to get Harry away from the obviously Scarlet Women corrupting him. She didn't succed as Harry stated quite clearly "They aren't cheating on me and none of them are red haired, well unless they want to be."

The fact that each of them had the now infamous badge for MAGI Force on their shoulders also reached Ron's brain as the fact that Harry was A) Having Sex and B) It wasn't Ginny caught up with him and struggled for a few moments. Then Lavender Brown in a micro black mini and tight top walked by distracting all further thoughts of Hermoine and what Harry was up to from his mind.

"Ron you alright mate" Harry asked casually as he watched his friend trace the swaying of Lavenders rear through the crowds. "If you'd like some advice maybe, or a potion or two."

"Sure, sure just as long as you don't corrupt Ginny" Ron uttered.

"No need to do that" Harry answered as he watched her throw herself into Dean's arms and snog the life out of him after checking to see that Harry was looking. Really not going to work Harry thought to himself as Katie and Hermoine moved under his arms and snuggled in close. Turning to Tonks Alicia and Urd Harry said reluctantly "Right until we can sort out getting private quarters I'll be seeing you three on the weekend. Love you."

Sniffing a bit Urd added "Saturday then, remember to let him save up his strength on Friday Hermoine he's going to need it."

"Of course I've schedueled it as his off day." Hermoine said proudly before giving Urd a goodbye hug herself "Thanks ever so much for making the laptops work in Hogwarts. I can't wait to begin scanning the library into our database."

Oh yes Hogwarts wasn't going to know what it hit with the continuing adventuers of MAGI Force Harry thought to himself, though he really wasn't looking forward to the whole 'meet the parents' bit come Christmas holidays. Though he was pretty certain the dads could be distracted by the whole giant mecha bit, it was the powered by sex part he was uncertain about, well that and the fact he intended to marry all the girls would set off bouts of pre wedding planning with the mums.

Hestia Jones and Emmeline Vance however moved like sharks on bleeding meat towards the trio not going to Hogwarts, they wanted answers, gossip, juicy details and a chance to get in on the action. Prime wizard like Harry only came along once in a lifetime, and they weren't going to give up their chance for a slice without a fight espacially when he was willing to share.
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