FicWad

Half an hour later I had just finished getting ready when there was a knock at the door signalling Benji's arrival. I grabbed my bag and keys then went to the door. When I opened the door Benji looked a little surprised at first.

"You all ready?" he asked looking me over. I had a tracksuit on as most of my other more fitted clothes hurt my ribs too much, I had a lot of make-up on my cheekbone to cover the bruise, sunglasses and my hair tied back with a baseball hat on.

"Yeah lets go get this over and done with." I sighed stepping out the door and locking it. He waited patiently for e then we walked to his car and he opened the door to let me. The ride there was really quiet I spent the whole ride looking out of the window.

When we got to the hospital Benji came in with me but when I went to see the doctor and get x-rayed he waited outside in the waiting room. The results came back and I had broken three ribs on my right side and broken one and fractured two ribs on my left. The doctor bandaged them up for some support and gave me painkillers but other than that he said there was nothing much else you can do for broken ribs apart for lots of rest and try not to put any strain or pressure on them. The doctor also gave Benji strict rules about my medication and what I can and can't do.

The ride home was also quiet I was glad in a way because that meant I could avoid having to talk about last night but I knew from the atmosphere that Benji's quietness meant that he was worried or thinking about something important. We went to pick up my prescription before we went home. When we pulled up outside the houses Benji didn't make a move to get out of the car instead he turned to me.

"Soph I need to ask you something?" he said seriously this was worrying me now.

"OK." I said unsurely.

"We're do we stand with each other?"

"W... What do you mean?"

"I mean what's going on I know we've not been getting along but after all what we've said last night and that night in the hospital I don't think I'm clear on what's going on between us anymore."

"Well where do you want us to be?" I asked.

"I love you and you know it, I've always..."

"Benji wait, I love you I really do and have done for a long time now...but after all that's happened lately, with all I'm trying to deal with right now I don't think it's a good idea for me to start a relationship with you." I said it pained me to say it because this is something we've both wanted for a long time.

"But Sophie..." he looked so hurt and upset.

"Benj I'm sorry it's just not fair on you for me to get into a relationship with you when I can't put all my effort into it. I'm got so much on my mind and so much to deal with right now..." seeing how upset and hurt he looked made me upset too silent tears started to form in my eyes.

"I told you I'm here for you, I want to help you through it, you know you can't do it on your own ... not properly anyway." He said tears now visible in his eyes too.

"Benj I know and I'm really grateful but it's just not right. Don't get me wrong I want this as much as you but I can't give you all the attention you deserve in a relationship." I said the silent tears rolling down my cheeks.

He didn't reply to that he just looked deep into my eyes and I looked back unable to tear my eyes away from his beautiful ones. Before I knew it he pressed his lips to mine forcefully in a passion and love filled kiss.

"Now tell me you didn't feel anything then." He said when he pulled away looking deep into my eyes.

"Benji it's not that simple..."

"Answer me truthfully, when we're together do you feel anything?"

"Yes."

"When we're together does it feel right?"

"Yes." he hesitated before asking his next question.

"Do you love me?" he said a little more quietly. I hesitated then answered truthfully.

"Yes."

"Forget everything else; do you want us to be together?" I looked at him then answered his question by kissing him forcefully obviously shocking him but it didn't take long for him to start kissing back. After a minute I pulled away making him look at me confused.

"Benj if where... together I want to keep it a secret; at least for a while till all this shit get cleared up. It's not because of you well in the way you're probably thinking anyway. It's just after all the Jake stuff, the whole thing with Liam..."

"You came straight to me after you broke up with Liam wanting us to get together then and there." he argued back I knew he wouldn't like the idea of keeping us a secret.

"Yeah and you threw it straight back in my face!" I argued back slightly pissed but then we both seemed so soften after our little outburst.

"I know and I'm sorry about that too that was just me having my dickhead moment trying to get you back for knocking me back at the hospital." I said apoplectically.

"In all fairness Benj I was engaged at the time with my fiancé in a life and death situation." I pointed out and he nodded.

"Like I said I'm sorry you know I can have a ass moments but what I really don't get it why we have to keep us as a secret."

"It's for the best Benj not just because of all my shit but in case it doesn't wok out between us, I mean everyone's been wanting us to get together for years and have really high expectations for us as a couple but what if it all doesn't turn out like the bed of roses everyone expects it to be and we end up just being friends after all or even worse fighting again. It's just better being kept on the down low for now until everything's cleared up." I explained. He looked down thinking I could tell he thought what I was saying did actually make sense.

"I understand what your saying I really do but this is my family where talking about too, Joel you know we don't have any secrets, at all."

"I understand that too but you've gotta see how hard it is for me I'm not saying we have to keep it a secret for too long just until things get a little better. At the moment my heads spinning I don't know if I'm coming or going. Just give me some time to get my head straight and then we can see about telling people. Benj I hate to say this but if you care about me at all and love me like you say you and like I hope you do then you'll understand and respect my request." I said looking deep into his eyes waiting for his decision. He was quiet for a while which got me a little worried.

"I understand what you're saying. It's really hard for me to keep anything for my family especially Joel but I really do love you and I will do anything for you, I owe it to you so yes I'll kept it on the down low for now but I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it up."

"Thanks Benj." I smiled and he smiled back I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before getting out of the car he did the same and locked his car.