Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Saint Lily

It's hard to say

by I_Mean_This 6 reviews


Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Characters: Other - Published: 2007-03-27 - Updated: 2007-08-13 - 1770 words - Complete

sorry if there are any spelling mistakes etc..Im in a hurry to go to work! love you guys!--Mary

The engines of the tour buses started, stray fans scattering away from the diesel trucks and vans pulling out of the venue.
Lily took one last breath and stepped up the stairs, the doors shutting behind her as the bus lurched forward, causing her to stumble slightly.
She sighed as she caught her feet, collapsing onto the couch next to Adam, who had the remote poised, flipping through the channels.
"You know,"he began,
"Madonna may have our old bus...but this bus has a big screen tv." he added, pausing at the Food Network.
"I hate Emeril." Lily said in annoyance, crossing her arms, "Bam this and Bam that."
Will walked past them, peeling off his shirt, sweaty from the set,
"Bam!" he yelled, throwing the white, sweaty mass onto Lily's face.
Lily squealed and clawed the shirt off her face,
"I hate you!" she groaned as the odious mass fell to the floor.
Will nodded as he searched the cabinets,
"Yeah well..." he said, pulling out a box of Fruit Loops and digging his hand inside,
"You need me." he concluded, shoving a handful of multi colored loops into his mouth,
"Who else can shred a guitar like this?" he said, making high pitched whining noises as he raked his fingers across the cereal box.
Adam shook his head and switched the channel.
Lily rubbed her eyes, looking down at her fingers to see black,
"Fuck..." she mumbled, "I forgot I was wearing makeup.." she complained quietly.
Will chuckled, mouth full of a rainbow-wheat sugar coated cereal,
"The tv is pretty sweet." he agreed, putting the box away after packing his mouth with Fruit Loops one last time,pausing in front of them.
Lily's eyes scanned Will's body, then glanced at the shirt on the floor.
She looked at her own hands, slightly smudged with black, and discreetly sniffed her own armpits,
"I'd take a shower over that any day." she began with a frown, "We all smell." she said, walking past Will and towards the sink.
Will smelled himself and nodded, "Yeah but, as a guy, [i]I[/I] can shower outside..." he said grinning, standing next to Lily as she reached for a bottle of face wash in the upper cabinet,
"And noooobody cares." he said with a grin.
Lily gave him a glare as she turned on the sink,
"Don't be so sure. Maybe you'll end up on the front page of the tabloids under the head line,
'Celebrity Obsession With Weight Goes Too Far; Stars Borderline Anorexic'" she said, testing the water with her fingers and squirting a small amount of face wash into her palms.
"Captain Anorexia!" Adam called from the couch, fist raised.
Will laughed slowly as Lily lathered her face and eyes,
"Either that or... 'Sexiest Man Alive'." he said as Lily rinsed off her face and dried it with a paper-towel.
Lily guffawed at Will's statement,
"Point being, either way, it's going to be super weird having to shower in front of everybody."
"Yeah," Ryan said, edging past them, "You think Will has to worry about paparazzi..." he said with a raised eyebrow.
Lily shrugged as Adam sighed,
"Not all of them will be outside." he stated, "Some are indoor..not the stupid..bag of water on the fence thing."
"Oh.." Lily nodded, "'s separated by gender, right?" she asked apprehensively, towel poised at her face, Will still standing in front of her.
Adam shrugged, "Yeah, most of them. Some of them it's just like..a cement block with shower heads." he mumbled and changed the channel.
Lily nodded and shrugged, making her way down the hallway.
"It shouldn't be a big deal, Lil." Will said, picking some cereal out of his teeth, "I mean..most of these guys have already seen you in your underwear."
"Yeah," Ryan added, searching the cabinets, "Rockstar."
Lily groaned loudly, "Why must I be surrounded by men at all times? Why?" she asked herself as she rummaged through her bags for pants.
Her ears perked up as she heard the familiar ring of her cellphone. She looked down the hallway to see it in Will's hand, vibrating and lighting up.
"Hey Lily, you're phones's..." Will paused, reading the name on the screen,
"Oh hell yeah." he said, pushing the green button,
"Hey fucker, what's up?" he asked, as Lily made her way down the hallway, hand outstretched.
"Haha, OH really?" Will asked, eyebrow raised just as Lily grabbed the phone from his ear.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hey..." said the voice on the other line.
"Tell him I said he's gay, ok?" Will said, eyes on the tv.
"Will says you're gay." Lily sighed.
Bert laughed, "Will..pure brilliance. Ask him out on a date for me. Tell him.."Bert paused,
"Tell him I'm having a party in my pants and he's invited."
Lily laughed, " and no."
She continued to search for pants as Bert spoke,
"So...still dating the anti-christ?"
Lily sighed as she pulled out her care-bear pajama pants,
"Yes...not much has changed in one day, Bert."
Bert grunted, "So uh..I have a favor to ask."
Lily raised her eyebrow as she pressed the phone against her shoulder, balancing as she pulled on her pants,
"What?" she asked apprehensively.

Bert lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Quinn, Jepha, and Branden were in their bunks, playing their gameboys, talking on their phones, or catching up on much needed rest.
Bert was in solitude...the only sounds being the engine beneath him, the soft clicks of buttons..and the murmur of Quinn's voice down the hallway.
He thought about how to say it...this favor he wanted.
Lily asked again, he could hear the suspicion in her voice,
"What favor?"
Bert took in a breath, "So uh..around this time last year..."
He paused...could he even say it?
"Kate died."
Lily sat down on her bunk, eyes wide and brow furrowed,
"Oh, Bert..I...totally forgot, I'm...I'm so sorry." she stumbled, running her hand over her knee.
Bert hadn't told her when it had happened....he had to keep it together last year..he was on tour, he had a job to do...
He felt his old wounds reopening at the mention of her name...
Memories coming back to him in a cold flood...a cold wash of salt water on a cloudy day, standing in the ocean as the waves crashed forward, spraying him with cold green water that stung his eyes...
And her smile...and the syringes...and...her smile.
Bert snapped back to reality,
"Yeah's ok." he trailed off, thinking of her hair...the way it smelled...
As horrible as it was, he found comfort in Lily for those fucked up reasons..
because there was something about her that reminded him of Kate...
but unlike Kate, she had had the strength to beat the move forward and live...
Kate didn't...Kate hadn't...and it was too late.
There were things about Lily that pulled at his heartstrings...the way this little line appeared between her eyes when she was angry at him...the way she was so gullible sometimes....the way she would cover her mouth when she laughed, only to throw her head back and reveal her white grin when she couldn't hold it in anymore.
And she gave him this a childhood memory or a blanket.
He had that in Kate, but it was a fucked up kind of comfort...a dependence, an addiction, much like the drugs and pills.
It was an attachment to the past, when things were better, new and exciting, losing it all to her that night in her room, praying to God or whoever the fuck is up there that her parents wouldn't come home...
It was a dark, cold, a a blur.
He could almost hear the maniacal laughing in the background...the cold cement floor...
But with was bright...warm...clear and fuzzy at the same a sunny spring day..pollen floating in the air above a field of flowers..everything was tinted a warm yellow felt so good.
And the way Kate's hair smelled..
So sickly sweet...
Perfume tainted with the smell of cigarettes...
"Bert?" Lily asked quietly.
He jolted back...the way Lily smelled...
He had gotten a nose-full of her hair before...fuck, plenty of times...
It smelled flowers...
"Hey, fuck..sorry, uh...I was just wondering if you could sing a song during our set."
Bert mumbled quickly, staring at a hangnail on his worn hands.
Lily nodded, breathing in quietly,
"Well, yeah, of's for her, right?"
Lily winced; she shouldn't have said that.
Stupid stupid stupid.
She quickly covered it up,
"I mean, which song?"
Bert took in a breath , finger running along the top of his black boxers,
"Well...I was thinking 'Hard to Say'...because..I wrote that song..about.." he trailed off and picked up his voice a bit more,
"Either that or 'On My Own'."
Lily nodded, "I love those songs." she admitted, examining her nails for chips in the polish,
"Whichever you're comfortable with. I mean, I've toured with you long enough to have them both memorized..word for word."
Bert smiled, "So you will?" he asked, looking out the window at the passing city lights.
Lily frowned at a chip on her fingernail,
"Yeah..I mean, duh."
Bert smiled weakly, "Thanks..Lilypad."
Lily sighed and rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah," she began, readjusting herself on the bunk,
"My mom wanted to invite you over to dinner...I told her you were on tour with me.. but..the offer still stands."
Bert laughed, "I love your mom." he sighed,
"And fuck yeah I'll go.." he mumbled, staring at his own worn down nails.
Lily laughed softly,
"Good....." she paused momentarily,
"Are you ok?" she asked quietly.
Bert caught his own reflection in the window and nodded,
"Yeah..I'm fine..." he paused, feeling his heart twist a little bit,
"Hey, I'm gonna go but I'll talk to you about it tomorrow, ok?"
Lily nodded, "Ok...sleep well..."
Moments later she hung up the phone and sighed.
She looked up to see Will, craning over to look at her,
"What's up with Bert?" he asked curiously, brow furrowed.
Lily shrugged with a sigh,
"I can't really talk about it."
Sign up to rate and review this story