Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > I've already given up on myself twice
Salty Tears On Broken Skin (part one)
3 reviewsI didn't mean i just didn't mean it please review!!
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Brendon's POV
"Okay who we picking up then babe?" I asked as we stopped at some traffic lights. I waited for a response since she had her head in the wedding plans again. "Fee?" I asked as I continued to drive across the freeway.
"Oh sorry Bren I was just thinking will the wedding crash with your tour?" She asked seriously while coming out of her daze. Fuck the tour.
"Look this weekend is special fuck the tour." I smiled nervously feeling my mind fill with worry.
"Well it starts in two months anyway." Fee smirked.
"That's good then we can have a nice long honey moon as well." I sighed. Fee smiled softly at me as I started to sing to the academy is on the radio. "To Pete's to pick up him and Els." I heard her call over my singing. Oh no now I'm in deep.
"Why Els?" I asked trying not to sound to suspicious.
"Oh because Kacy can't be a bridesmaid and since she's like close to everyone else and she has the same figure as her I thought I'd ask her to be a bridesmaid." She explained. I almost choked on the gum I had in my mouth when she said that. She put her hand on my knee and asked me caringly, "You okay?" I nodded as we pulled up to Pete's apartment. "Look Pete's never ready so do you want to go get Spence and the others while I wait around here for Pete, I think we're going in his jeep anyway." I said trying to buy some time to talk things through with Elspeth.
"Oh okay I'll be about an hour is that okay?" She asked me.
"Yeah that's great." I said while placing a kiss on her cheek. Before I could get out the car she grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on my lips she attempted to deepen it but I pulled away. "I think you've had a lot loving today." I smirked while getting out the car and blowing her a kiss. She moved into the drivers seat and drove off. I sighed deeply and shoved my hands in my pockets and walked up to Pete's apartment.
Elspeth's POV
I grabbed Pete's keys off the side and handed them to him, something was up. "Are you okay?" I asked seriously.
"Erm yeah look I gotta date with hate I'll be back in about an hour I'll call you if I'm any longer." He said while rushing out the door nearly bumping into Brendon on the way. "Sorry dude." He shouted as he carried on running down the corridor. I smiled nervously at Brendon and he smirked strongly at me while closing the door behind him. "Err...what was all that about?" He asked while raising an eyebrow.
"Just don't ask, he's been acting on edge all morning, he'll be back in about an hour though." I smiled as I walked into the kitchen. I could hear the footsteps of Brendon behind me and then stop. "Elspeth we need to talk." He said tensely. I felt my stomach churn as I turned around to face him; he was leaning against the doorframe. "About what Brendon?" I said trying to not to sound upset as I could see what was coming next.
"Erm well with the wedding and everything well..." He stuttered.
"So basically what your trying to say is that the other night was just a drunken mistake." I said while scowling at him.
"No! It was nothing like that." Brendon explained calmly. My mind was buzzing round in circles and my head was throbbing. I placed my hands on the side of the kitchen surface and breathed deeply. "What was it then?" I asked coldly.
"I dunno I came to ask you what it felt like, I mean you're with Pete-"
"I am not with Pete okay!" I shouted while rushing upstairs into the bathroom. I locked the door and slumped on the floor, I couldn't help but cry my heart out. "Elspeth please." I heard Brendon moan softly on the other side of the door. I just ignored his pleading voice. "Elspeth I love you but I can't leave Fee not now." He said with fear in his voice. I got up off the floor my eyes all red and puffy. I sighed deeply and unlocked the door. Brendon pushed the door open and I stood back so it didn't hit me. He stared deeply into my watery eyes. "I don't play second best to no one Brendon Urie." I said while feeling my eyelids break away a tear or two. He combed his fingers through his dark brown hair. Why did he never get mad with me? "Brendon why don't you ever show emotion?" I asked curiously.
"Well I don't want to hurt you...I just don't want to loose you." He said simply. I felt rage build up inside me but also depression since I could never have what I truly wanted. I was about to open my mouth when I heard the door open downstairs. "Hey Elsie wasn't as long as I thought I would be." Pete called up to me. I scowled at Brendon and whispered, "If you didn't want to hurt me then why do this? And don't worry this weekend I'll smile and look all happy but I hope you can live with yourself." I paused and stared into the mirror. I heard Brendon leave the room and go downstairs. I looked into the mirror and scowled at the reflection.
Brendon's POV
I have lost it this time I really do hope I've mad the right decision cuz if I haven't, then it's all over. I walked into the kitchen and Pete was stood there with his mind engaged in his phone. He only looked up when I coughed quietly.
"Oh hey Brendon." Pete said while then putting his head back down.
"Erm can I go get in the car?" I asked if I didn't get out of Elspeth's sight I know something bad will happen.
"Elsie has the keys so no sorry." He said simply. It seemed tense and he didn't even know what had just happened yet. "Pete-" I started.
"Petey I've got your case from upstairs so we can go now." I heard Elspeth call from the top of the stairs. She didn't make eye contact with me as she pulled Pete's suitcase over to him. I smiled weakly at her; she didn't look like she'd been crying at all. "Okay so who's driving?" I asked curiously as we all walked out the door.
"Not Pete!" Elspeth smirked.
"Looks like you're driving Brenny bear." Pete smirked while throwing me the keys and me almost dropping them.
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Elspeth's POV
We all walked up the corridor of the hotel is was really posh and secluded nice and perfect in the American countryside. I still couldn't believe Pete and I's debate of why they had it here and not in the English countryside took up the entire journey. He put his arm around my waist as we walked up to the reception to get our room key. "Are we having separate rooms or are we sharing?" Pete asked since I didn't want to say anything to Brendon.
"You're sharing." He said while not even looking at me.
"Grawr you two could get close again hint hint." Spencer smirked.
"Shut up Spencer." I said blankly.
"Yeah just cuz you are practically inside Hayley doesn't mean Pete And Elsie's relationship has to be like that too." Ryan smirked. I couldn't help but laugh at this remark. Spencer scowled at me and I instantly gave him one of my sorry smiles. Pete grabbed the key and carried his cases and mine up to our room. The room was very big and modern it had a huge king-size bed in the middle of the room and a plasma screen TV opposite it. It also had the essentials like the sofa, cabinets and drawers. "Do we get those free mints on our pillows?" Pete asked excitedly. He ran over to the bed and jump on it excitedly like a kid in a candy store. "Petey your so funny." I smirked.
"Ah I'll take that as a compliment." He said while grinning at me. I couldn't take this anymore and I just let the tears out. Pete jumped off the bed and pulled his arms firmly around me. Even though he didn't know what was wrong he still stood there and cared.
Brendon's POV
I walked up the hotel corridor I was trying to find Ryan's room, I think its next to Pete and Elspeth's. I felt someone shove me against the wall his face inches away from mine. My feet were dangling off the ground I didn't realise Pete was so strong.
:O
Duh duh duh cliffhanger I'll update soon please tell me what u think and what you think is gonna happen in the next chap lets just say things get exciting =]
"Okay who we picking up then babe?" I asked as we stopped at some traffic lights. I waited for a response since she had her head in the wedding plans again. "Fee?" I asked as I continued to drive across the freeway.
"Oh sorry Bren I was just thinking will the wedding crash with your tour?" She asked seriously while coming out of her daze. Fuck the tour.
"Look this weekend is special fuck the tour." I smiled nervously feeling my mind fill with worry.
"Well it starts in two months anyway." Fee smirked.
"That's good then we can have a nice long honey moon as well." I sighed. Fee smiled softly at me as I started to sing to the academy is on the radio. "To Pete's to pick up him and Els." I heard her call over my singing. Oh no now I'm in deep.
"Why Els?" I asked trying not to sound to suspicious.
"Oh because Kacy can't be a bridesmaid and since she's like close to everyone else and she has the same figure as her I thought I'd ask her to be a bridesmaid." She explained. I almost choked on the gum I had in my mouth when she said that. She put her hand on my knee and asked me caringly, "You okay?" I nodded as we pulled up to Pete's apartment. "Look Pete's never ready so do you want to go get Spence and the others while I wait around here for Pete, I think we're going in his jeep anyway." I said trying to buy some time to talk things through with Elspeth.
"Oh okay I'll be about an hour is that okay?" She asked me.
"Yeah that's great." I said while placing a kiss on her cheek. Before I could get out the car she grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on my lips she attempted to deepen it but I pulled away. "I think you've had a lot loving today." I smirked while getting out the car and blowing her a kiss. She moved into the drivers seat and drove off. I sighed deeply and shoved my hands in my pockets and walked up to Pete's apartment.
Elspeth's POV
I grabbed Pete's keys off the side and handed them to him, something was up. "Are you okay?" I asked seriously.
"Erm yeah look I gotta date with hate I'll be back in about an hour I'll call you if I'm any longer." He said while rushing out the door nearly bumping into Brendon on the way. "Sorry dude." He shouted as he carried on running down the corridor. I smiled nervously at Brendon and he smirked strongly at me while closing the door behind him. "Err...what was all that about?" He asked while raising an eyebrow.
"Just don't ask, he's been acting on edge all morning, he'll be back in about an hour though." I smiled as I walked into the kitchen. I could hear the footsteps of Brendon behind me and then stop. "Elspeth we need to talk." He said tensely. I felt my stomach churn as I turned around to face him; he was leaning against the doorframe. "About what Brendon?" I said trying to not to sound upset as I could see what was coming next.
"Erm well with the wedding and everything well..." He stuttered.
"So basically what your trying to say is that the other night was just a drunken mistake." I said while scowling at him.
"No! It was nothing like that." Brendon explained calmly. My mind was buzzing round in circles and my head was throbbing. I placed my hands on the side of the kitchen surface and breathed deeply. "What was it then?" I asked coldly.
"I dunno I came to ask you what it felt like, I mean you're with Pete-"
"I am not with Pete okay!" I shouted while rushing upstairs into the bathroom. I locked the door and slumped on the floor, I couldn't help but cry my heart out. "Elspeth please." I heard Brendon moan softly on the other side of the door. I just ignored his pleading voice. "Elspeth I love you but I can't leave Fee not now." He said with fear in his voice. I got up off the floor my eyes all red and puffy. I sighed deeply and unlocked the door. Brendon pushed the door open and I stood back so it didn't hit me. He stared deeply into my watery eyes. "I don't play second best to no one Brendon Urie." I said while feeling my eyelids break away a tear or two. He combed his fingers through his dark brown hair. Why did he never get mad with me? "Brendon why don't you ever show emotion?" I asked curiously.
"Well I don't want to hurt you...I just don't want to loose you." He said simply. I felt rage build up inside me but also depression since I could never have what I truly wanted. I was about to open my mouth when I heard the door open downstairs. "Hey Elsie wasn't as long as I thought I would be." Pete called up to me. I scowled at Brendon and whispered, "If you didn't want to hurt me then why do this? And don't worry this weekend I'll smile and look all happy but I hope you can live with yourself." I paused and stared into the mirror. I heard Brendon leave the room and go downstairs. I looked into the mirror and scowled at the reflection.
Brendon's POV
I have lost it this time I really do hope I've mad the right decision cuz if I haven't, then it's all over. I walked into the kitchen and Pete was stood there with his mind engaged in his phone. He only looked up when I coughed quietly.
"Oh hey Brendon." Pete said while then putting his head back down.
"Erm can I go get in the car?" I asked if I didn't get out of Elspeth's sight I know something bad will happen.
"Elsie has the keys so no sorry." He said simply. It seemed tense and he didn't even know what had just happened yet. "Pete-" I started.
"Petey I've got your case from upstairs so we can go now." I heard Elspeth call from the top of the stairs. She didn't make eye contact with me as she pulled Pete's suitcase over to him. I smiled weakly at her; she didn't look like she'd been crying at all. "Okay so who's driving?" I asked curiously as we all walked out the door.
"Not Pete!" Elspeth smirked.
"Looks like you're driving Brenny bear." Pete smirked while throwing me the keys and me almost dropping them.
-------------------------------------------------
Elspeth's POV
We all walked up the corridor of the hotel is was really posh and secluded nice and perfect in the American countryside. I still couldn't believe Pete and I's debate of why they had it here and not in the English countryside took up the entire journey. He put his arm around my waist as we walked up to the reception to get our room key. "Are we having separate rooms or are we sharing?" Pete asked since I didn't want to say anything to Brendon.
"You're sharing." He said while not even looking at me.
"Grawr you two could get close again hint hint." Spencer smirked.
"Shut up Spencer." I said blankly.
"Yeah just cuz you are practically inside Hayley doesn't mean Pete And Elsie's relationship has to be like that too." Ryan smirked. I couldn't help but laugh at this remark. Spencer scowled at me and I instantly gave him one of my sorry smiles. Pete grabbed the key and carried his cases and mine up to our room. The room was very big and modern it had a huge king-size bed in the middle of the room and a plasma screen TV opposite it. It also had the essentials like the sofa, cabinets and drawers. "Do we get those free mints on our pillows?" Pete asked excitedly. He ran over to the bed and jump on it excitedly like a kid in a candy store. "Petey your so funny." I smirked.
"Ah I'll take that as a compliment." He said while grinning at me. I couldn't take this anymore and I just let the tears out. Pete jumped off the bed and pulled his arms firmly around me. Even though he didn't know what was wrong he still stood there and cared.
Brendon's POV
I walked up the hotel corridor I was trying to find Ryan's room, I think its next to Pete and Elspeth's. I felt someone shove me against the wall his face inches away from mine. My feet were dangling off the ground I didn't realise Pete was so strong.
:O
Duh duh duh cliffhanger I'll update soon please tell me what u think and what you think is gonna happen in the next chap lets just say things get exciting =]
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