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"Pete! Pete, calm down!" Gabe cried, starting to pat my back.
I don't think I had ever cried so god damn much in my life, I cried my eyes out.
"Pete, please tell me what's going on?" Gabe said, as my tears fell down harder into the Jacuzzi.
I couldn't say a word, I just cried, and cried, and cried. Finally, I took a deep breath, and told Gabe everything.

I told him how I was that asshole, and I told him every story, every memory, that I've had since I've met Rachel. He listened, and nodded his head, then, when I was done telling him, he picked up the phone, and called Shaant, to tell him that Rachel was in contact.

Shaant was happy to know his sister was alive, but still very pissed off that she had just up and left.

And, that's the last we've heard from her for 2 weeks.
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Today was no different, no different from the last two weeks.

I walked into the kitchen, waking up at four in the afternoon again, and grabbed my love, a bottle of vodka. I twisted the cap off, and swigged it, then wiped my mouth, and set it down.

I was a wreak. I hadn't showered in at least a week, and mopped around my house like this all the time. I felt extremely dirty...but I just couldn't do anything.

I never used to drink, either.

I wasn't always getting drunk though, today I didn't really feel like getting drunk, so I just took that one sip, and put away the alcohol.

Like Shaant says, you can't buy happiness from the bottle, or something like that.

It seemed like someone knocked on my door everyday, wanting to clean me up and such, the three boys really cared, but couldn't always be there for me, because they had lives to.

Soon, someone knocked on the door, again. I clunked over, and opened it. Joe walked past me, not even saying a hello, nothing, and turned on the shower.

"Come on Wentz, we're going to clean you up." he said, slipping my shirt off.

I stood there, just letting him strip me down. He walked me to the shower, and made me get in.

I stood under the shower head, just soaking in the water.

I could tell Joe was standing outside. He yelled, "Don't forget to wash behind you're ears!" I think it was a joke, but I don't even care.

I feel sick, and the only one who can make me feel better is Rachel...just like last time.

I turned the shower when I felt semi-clean, and grabbed a towel, drying my hair, and wrapping it around my waist.

I got out of the bathroom, and saw Joe standing there, his arms crossed. I looked at him, with sad eyes. I hadn't smiled in two weeks.

He smiled kindly at me, and put an arm around me.

He whispered in my ear, "Hey, Hows about you go on a long walk, all by yourself, to wherever you want to go? It'd really help, for you to get some fresh air."

I looked at him, and nodded.

Did I mention I haven't talked to anyone, or eaten anything? Well, once in a while I'll have some crackers, or a small sandwich when im getting wasted.

I got dressed, and Joe bid me goodbye, and left. I put my shoes on, and walked out the door, and down the street.

I walked for hours, it was dark now. I didn't know where I was, but I had my sidekick, I was fine. I'd talk if I had to, I just choose not to.

As I walked down a road I didn't know, I noticed their was a lot of small, low budget houses surrounding me. It seemed like a real shitty place, and a piece of me was actually scared.

I stuck my hands in my pockets, and looked around. It was dark, and I wondered what time it was.

I whiped out my sidekick.

It was seven. I should try to get a taxi, or at least find out where I am soon.

Suddenly, I heard something, something shrill.

I listened for it again, and got it.

It was a scream...

A very familiar scream- screaming for help.

Oh no! whose screaming? AH. Haha, wow I'm a loser. Hey, I was thinking of starting one of those like "from the desk of" things...because as you can see, I rant a lot, and have really uh, random thoughts.

Aha, who would read that? Just curious if I should start one. Anywho, review. African Elephants still up for sale.