FicWad

Patrick sat with rushed breathing, his hands holding tightly to the steering wheel of his car. Every once and a while he would glance over at the girl who sat next to him, still nameless, still quiet. Her vibrant green eyes searched the outside world, sometimes her head traveling with whatever they passed while driving.

"So," Patrick attempted. He cleared his throat and turned his head to her when they stopped at a red light. The girl blinked and looked over at him as well. "Do you have a name?" he asked.

The girl smiled and nodded before turning back to look out the window. Patrick sighed to himself before pulling out his phone. While the phone rang, Patrick watched as the girl glanced back over and then down at his hand. Her perfect set of teeth became visible and her glowing eyes locked with his, a gulp forming in his throat. Sure, he was entirely freaked out by the fact he had this distinct feeling that this chick was not human, but he also knew she was a little more innocent than something out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue. She had thick brown curls that flowed right down to her chest, accenting her full breasts that any man would be a fool to ignore.

Patrick gulped once again, his mind clicking back into place as the light turned green and his phone call was answered.

"Why aren't you here?" Pete bellowed, Patrick hearing the sound of whiny guitars and what sounded like Dirty screaming about getting summer-sausage in his eyes. Patrick stifled a laugh and glanced back at the girl-doll.

"I'll explain it all when I get there, but I have a guest," Pete cut him off.

"It isn't Claire is it?" he asked. Patrick sighed as he turned into the venue parking lot.

"Listen, I'm here," he paused to roll down the window, spotting Pete in the backstage outside area, his sunglasses hiding him from the groups of people standing more towards the front. The line went dead and in a matter of moments, Pete was standing at the driver's window, face expressionless as he stared at the girl.

"Dude, did you score and not tell us?" Patrick groaned and closed his eyes tight.

"Remember that package Travis sent me?" Pete pushed back his sunglasses and leaned into the car to stare at Patrick a little closer.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked. Patrick shook his head.

"He sent me a freaking girlfriend, apparently," Pete pulled out of the car and stared at the girl again, before scratching his head and twisting his features into pure confusion.

"Uh, well," Patrick couldn't help but smirk.

"Is the Pete Wentz /stumped/?" Pete didn't even budge as he stared the girl in the passenger down, all the while, her staring back.

"If I was stumped, I'd be bent over and you'd be giving it to me," Pete replied, his face never even stretching into that classic smirk of his.

Patrick raised an eyebrow, confused himself that something as science fictional as this chick could confuse Pete. He shook his head once and placed his hands back on the steering wheel.

"Uhh," Patrick started before clearing his throat, Pete flinching and shaking his head loose of his thoughts. "Can we figure out this inside?" he asked.

Pete nodded and backed up, letting Patrick pull forward through the tour buses and park in an empty area. The girl who sat next to him simply blinked as he undid his seatbelt before leaning towards her and unbuckling her as well. Her eyes glowed again and Patrick freaked slightly as they flickered bright blue for only a moment.

"Woah," he breathed.

She simply smiled and watched as he rounded the car until he came to the passenger side, helping her out. His hand stayed wrapped tight around hers as he led her around the back outside area until he bumped into the rest of the band lounging outside the tour bus. It sounded as if Pete was trying to explain the phenomenon that was Patrick's mail-order girlfriend.

"...and, she looks so human," Joe's eyes widened and he stared down at his joint, probably even more freaked out about the fact that Pete was telling the truth.

"Dude, I really need to stop smoking this shit," Andy glared at him while holding his shirt over his nose.

"You're telling me," Pete frowned but then jumped as Patrick came into the conversation with the girl on his arm.

"See?" Pete pleaded, waving his arms in front of her. She creased her eyebrows together and stared down at the tattoos that covered him.

A smile came to her lips and she removed her hands from Patrick's wrist to slide the strap of her dress, Joe leaning forward, almost drooling. All three men (and Pete) stared as she revealed a small number sequence that rested on her collarbone, almost like a tattoo.

"Is that like her code number or something?" Pete asked. Joe scoffed.

"More like model type," he said his eyes still slightly bloodshot. "Don't you know you're /Battlestar Galactica/?" Pete glared and Andy leaned forward towards her to examine her stance.

"She looks pretty human," Joe giggled.

"She looks pretty human too," he mumbled, moving his hand to his chest to interpret having breasts. Patrick glared at his friend before gripping the girl's hand again.

"Can we discuss this situation on the tour bus, please?" he asked, eyeing Joe as he continued to stare at her chest. Andy smacked him and he jumped, shaking his head and turning towards the door.

"Did she come with an," Andy paused, trying to word what he was going to say in the right context. "Instruction manual?" he asked.

Patrick nodded and watched as Andy stared down at him as they stopped at the stairs of the tour bus. The girl blinked up at Patrick and he observed her confused eyes. He sighed to himself and moved his arm around her shoulders before leaning down and cupping under her knees, her eyes widening very largely as he scooped her into the air. Andy seemed perplexed by how Patrick was already beginning to treat whoever this girl was. As soon as they were inside, Patrick set her down on the couch and sat next to her while Pete paced in front of him.

"So," Patrick cut him off.

"Don't tell anyone until we have this figured out," Pete coughed.

"That's what I'm trying to do," Patrick rolled his eyes and shifted to pull something out of his hoodie pocket, handing to Andy. Andy nodded as he began to skim through it; even his features showing he was interested in whatever Travis had given Patrick.

"I think..." he paused. "You still have to activate her until she can start talking," Joe started laughing and Patrick shot him a warning glance.

"Don't even start, Joe," he muttered. Andy cleared his throat and Pete sat down on the other side of the girl, still holding the freaked out glance every time she looked at him with questionable eyes. Andy brought the attention back to him.

"Well, it says here," he glanced up at Patrick. "Because she technically is a human doll intended to be the perfect partner or lover," Patrick nodded.

"What does it say?" he asked. Andy cleared his throat and began to laugh as he read it.

"You pretty much have to kiss her and she'll come to live," Patrick let his jaw drop while Joe bent over laughing, Pete stifling his laugh and watching as Patrick's face slowly turned the red color of embarrassment.

"Wh-what?" he stuttered, turning to look at the girl who seemed to not even be fazed by the statement. Andy stared at Patrick and nodded, holding the booklet to him.

"I'm not lying, Patrick," he spoke. Patrick gulped and glanced over at Pete.

"You do it," he insisted. Pete widened his eyes and Andy stepped forward quickly.

"No!" he yelped. The other three looked at him for answers. "Then she will belong to Pete," Patrick blinked and stared at the girl.

"Having her be silent will be a catastrophe," he mumbled. Andy took a deep breath in.

"Another side affect his that she pretty much takes things from your knowledge to use as her own," Patrick looked grim.

"That is just plain creepy," he breathed. Joe shrugged.

"What are you waiting for, Patrick?" Pete began to laugh.

"Yeah," he paused. "/Kiss her, kiss her/," he joked.

Patrick glared for a moment before shifting to face this girl that would supposedly make him a happier man. Now Patrick was a timid man, while he had shaky hands and a meek voice, he was still a man and found this to be extremely tedious work, just to kiss a girl.

As soon as he found the courage to let their lips meet, he heard Joe start to whoop and pulled away, the girl's eyes flashing blue again before she leaned into Patrick and wrapped her arms around his torso, the side of her face snuggling into his chest.

"Thank you,"

Pete literally shrieked as her voice came out for the first time, a cross between a nervous 14 year old girl and the high-school vixen. She was amazing and yet Patrick wouldn't admit it. His arms hesitantly made their way around her body as she cuddled into him, her eyes closed for now. Patrick stared at Andy and he shrugged, handing him the booklet.

"I'd read up if I were you," he mumbled. Patrick nodded and gripped the "instructions" in his free hand.

"She needs a name," the girl glanced up and smiled, her green eyes glowing as Patrick's locked with her's.

"I have one," she claimed. Pete looked at her.

"What is it?" he asked. She was about to reply, but leave it to Joe to interrupt things.

"My name is Joe," he spoke, reaching his arm out to her. She simply leaned forward and hugged him, leaving Joe with a somewhat satisfied look on his face.

"Hi Joe," she replied. Joe smirked and brought out another joint.

"Not yet, but this should do," Andy glared at him for the lame joke and swatted the smoke out of his hand, throwing it in the sink while Joe stared back at him with an expression of mock sadness.

"Dude, so not cool," he whined. The girl giggled and Pete cleared his throat.

"I'm Pete," he spoke.

She smiled and pulled a highly addicting innocent face, one that made Patrick even a bit uneasy. Andy laughed and watched as she hugged him as well. He was next and she stared at him, her hands on his shoulders as he refrained from telling him his name.

"Oh," he paused when he too felt that strange ora she created around them. "I'm Andy," She nodded and plopped back down next to Patrick, her head resting against his shoulders.

"I'm Ally," she spoke, eyeing the rest of the boys. Patrick nervously eyed her and cleared his throat.

"I'm..." she cut him off.

"I know who you are," she spoke, her eyes a little more vibrant than before. Her hand curled around his cheek and brushed her fingertips across one of his sideburns. "You are Patrick," she kissed his cheek. "My /owner/,"