Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A User's Guide to Pregnancy.
Talk is cheap.
3 reviewsCooper and Jon Walker embark on what could be the biggest challenge of their lives: Pregnancy.
0Unrated
Jon woke up on a normal day. He was warm, happy, and had his beautiful petite wife wrapped up in his arms. As he stretched out and yawned taking in the blinding brightness from the sun seeping through the pale white curtains hanging to the floor of his bedroom the realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
Something was missing.
But what could it be? He has a job he loved, he had a house, he had his cat, and he had his wife lying right next to him. He had it all but if he had it all what was it that was keeping the thought in the back of Jon's mind.
He then remembered the dream he had the previous night. The dream involved himself and his wife Cooper but it also involved someone else.
A little boy by the name of Ian Patrick, his son, it was a wonder Jon had forgotten about his dream. The feeling he had was so strong it felt as if it were real. That what was missing in Jon's life: A baby.
Jon quickly sat up and looked down at his wife who was only just waking up with a sour look on her face, 'Let's have a baby.' Jon said brightly.
'You're fucking crazy go back to sleep.' Cooper said as she pulled the blankets over her head. Jon rolled his eyes and took a dive into the thick duvet covering their bodies.
'Come on honey, I think we're ready for a baby.' Cooper rolled her eyes throwing the blankets off of herself and her husband before sitting up and glaring at him.
'Are you crazy?' she began, 'We're not ready for a baby.'
'Sure we are, we've been married for three and a half years; we've been together for almost seven, we're ready honey.' Jon pouted.
'Jon...it's not that I don't' want a baby, its just that a baby is a lot of work: we will never get normal nights worth of sleep again, my body is going to be all fat and bloated, we'd might as well toss our sex life out the window are you sure you want to do this? We could just keep practice for ten...twenty years even.' Cooper smiled as she straddled Jon's hips and kissed his neck.
'I think it's time for a baby.' Jon said as he held her around the waist.
'You may be ready for a baby but I'm not.' Cooper said as she got off the bed and walked into the bathroom.
'Honey, come on, we only have so much time to have children before we're too old. If we have them now I'll only be twenty nine when the baby comes a long, then by the time the baby leaves to go to college I'll be forty seven, that's still young enough to do all the things we want to do with out lives.' Jon said following her into the bathroom and into the shower.
'Jon, why can't we do those things now and have a baby later?'
'Come on babe, what are you worried about?'
'Jon, you and I, we're a hot couple, we're steamy and sexy and hot, we can't be all those things with a mini Jonathan running around besides look at Spencer and Izzy, they have a baby, you can go play with their baby and give it back every time you get horny.' Cooper said as she began to rinse her hair.
'Cooper.' Jon said as he took her hands bringing her closer to his soaked body, 'I love you. You're the woman that I want to start a family with. We're ready for that family and I want that family to be with you.'
'I hate it when you do this to me.' Cooper said standing on her tip toes to kiss him, 'I hate it when you make my heart melt.' She mumbled wrapping her arms around his neck.
'You're going to hate me even more when you read the pregnancy test that says you're going to have a baby.' Jon smirked as he pressed his lips to hers deepening the kiss.
'So honey, I've been reading this book today about conceiving a baby.' Jon said as soon as Cooper walked in the door from work at 6:15 that night.
'Have you done anything today?' she asked slipping off her heels and starting into the kitchen.
'Yeah, I've done lots of stuff.'
'Anything that doesn't involve a child?'
'No.' Jon simply stated as Cooper chuckled a little bit. Jon followed her into the kitchen walking over to where she was sitting on the counter. He stood between her legs giving her soft innocent kisses.
'So I thought about this baby business today while I was working.' Cooper began.
'You did?' Jon asked as Cooper nodded.
'If you're really ready to have a baby, I won't protest as long as after we have the baby if it makes us completely miserable we will always be Jon and Cooper.'
'That I can promise.' He smiled before kissing her again.
**************************************
'So you and Jon are actually going to try for a baby?' Belle asked the next day as Cooper ate lunch with her best friend.
'Yeah, Jon is on this baby kick. It's kinda cute really.'
'You know, I knew as soon as you got married that man was going to try to knock you up.' Belle said.
'Belle, we've been married three and a half years.' Cooper said.
'Well still, it's kinda soon isn't it?'
'Not really, we've been together a while, the only thing our sex life is getting us is angry neighbors and noise violations, it's the next step in our marriage.'
'Well don't expect me to be the God mother or something; I don't see that happening anytime soon.'
'Don't worry Belle; I'll try to make Jon understand the job just isn't for you.' Cooper laughed.
'You know that I'll always be here for you but if you turn into one of those mini van driving, over protective, has to be in bed by eight o'clock moms, I'm putting an ad in the paper for a new best friend.'
'Don't worry, I'll never drive a mini van, that's Jon's job and please we haven't even started making dinner by eight o'clock.'
'Good to know, that explains why the police are always called around two am and why you're always late for work.'
'What can I say; I got the luck of the draw in the husband area.' Cooper smirked as the waiter brought their check.
Something was missing.
But what could it be? He has a job he loved, he had a house, he had his cat, and he had his wife lying right next to him. He had it all but if he had it all what was it that was keeping the thought in the back of Jon's mind.
He then remembered the dream he had the previous night. The dream involved himself and his wife Cooper but it also involved someone else.
A little boy by the name of Ian Patrick, his son, it was a wonder Jon had forgotten about his dream. The feeling he had was so strong it felt as if it were real. That what was missing in Jon's life: A baby.
Jon quickly sat up and looked down at his wife who was only just waking up with a sour look on her face, 'Let's have a baby.' Jon said brightly.
'You're fucking crazy go back to sleep.' Cooper said as she pulled the blankets over her head. Jon rolled his eyes and took a dive into the thick duvet covering their bodies.
'Come on honey, I think we're ready for a baby.' Cooper rolled her eyes throwing the blankets off of herself and her husband before sitting up and glaring at him.
'Are you crazy?' she began, 'We're not ready for a baby.'
'Sure we are, we've been married for three and a half years; we've been together for almost seven, we're ready honey.' Jon pouted.
'Jon...it's not that I don't' want a baby, its just that a baby is a lot of work: we will never get normal nights worth of sleep again, my body is going to be all fat and bloated, we'd might as well toss our sex life out the window are you sure you want to do this? We could just keep practice for ten...twenty years even.' Cooper smiled as she straddled Jon's hips and kissed his neck.
'I think it's time for a baby.' Jon said as he held her around the waist.
'You may be ready for a baby but I'm not.' Cooper said as she got off the bed and walked into the bathroom.
'Honey, come on, we only have so much time to have children before we're too old. If we have them now I'll only be twenty nine when the baby comes a long, then by the time the baby leaves to go to college I'll be forty seven, that's still young enough to do all the things we want to do with out lives.' Jon said following her into the bathroom and into the shower.
'Jon, why can't we do those things now and have a baby later?'
'Come on babe, what are you worried about?'
'Jon, you and I, we're a hot couple, we're steamy and sexy and hot, we can't be all those things with a mini Jonathan running around besides look at Spencer and Izzy, they have a baby, you can go play with their baby and give it back every time you get horny.' Cooper said as she began to rinse her hair.
'Cooper.' Jon said as he took her hands bringing her closer to his soaked body, 'I love you. You're the woman that I want to start a family with. We're ready for that family and I want that family to be with you.'
'I hate it when you do this to me.' Cooper said standing on her tip toes to kiss him, 'I hate it when you make my heart melt.' She mumbled wrapping her arms around his neck.
'You're going to hate me even more when you read the pregnancy test that says you're going to have a baby.' Jon smirked as he pressed his lips to hers deepening the kiss.
'So honey, I've been reading this book today about conceiving a baby.' Jon said as soon as Cooper walked in the door from work at 6:15 that night.
'Have you done anything today?' she asked slipping off her heels and starting into the kitchen.
'Yeah, I've done lots of stuff.'
'Anything that doesn't involve a child?'
'No.' Jon simply stated as Cooper chuckled a little bit. Jon followed her into the kitchen walking over to where she was sitting on the counter. He stood between her legs giving her soft innocent kisses.
'So I thought about this baby business today while I was working.' Cooper began.
'You did?' Jon asked as Cooper nodded.
'If you're really ready to have a baby, I won't protest as long as after we have the baby if it makes us completely miserable we will always be Jon and Cooper.'
'That I can promise.' He smiled before kissing her again.
**************************************
'So you and Jon are actually going to try for a baby?' Belle asked the next day as Cooper ate lunch with her best friend.
'Yeah, Jon is on this baby kick. It's kinda cute really.'
'You know, I knew as soon as you got married that man was going to try to knock you up.' Belle said.
'Belle, we've been married three and a half years.' Cooper said.
'Well still, it's kinda soon isn't it?'
'Not really, we've been together a while, the only thing our sex life is getting us is angry neighbors and noise violations, it's the next step in our marriage.'
'Well don't expect me to be the God mother or something; I don't see that happening anytime soon.'
'Don't worry Belle; I'll try to make Jon understand the job just isn't for you.' Cooper laughed.
'You know that I'll always be here for you but if you turn into one of those mini van driving, over protective, has to be in bed by eight o'clock moms, I'm putting an ad in the paper for a new best friend.'
'Don't worry, I'll never drive a mini van, that's Jon's job and please we haven't even started making dinner by eight o'clock.'
'Good to know, that explains why the police are always called around two am and why you're always late for work.'
'What can I say; I got the luck of the draw in the husband area.' Cooper smirked as the waiter brought their check.
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