Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > A User's Guide to Pregnancy.
'So if you and Jon have a baby what are you going to have?' Belle asked as they rain on the treadmill the Saturday morning.
'I don't know, it depends on Jon.'
'You're letting him decide?'
'Belle, do you know how babies are made?' Cooper asked with a hard smile.
'Yes I know how babies are made, I do it all the time, and we are just not planning on having a little runt so we don't practice.'
'It's his sperm. He decides what we are having. I have no say it in.'
'Only more of a reason not to have a child, if I let my husband pick something like that, he'd vote to buy a refillable keg.'
'I'm sure Jon would be right along side him.'
'Have you guys started trying yet?'
'Not so much, we've had sex once since I got off the pill. We were going to last night but Jon said it wasn't the right time, we had to wait to make sure we were both fertile.'
'There is something wrong when your husband starts calling the shots on your sex life.' Belle said as she and Cooper walked down the stairs.
'You know, it's not so bad. Jon really wants a baby so I guess we're having a baby.'
'Wait wait wait, you want one too don't you?'
'What?'
'You want the baby too, it's not just Jon.'
'I don't know what you're talking about.'
'Don't like to me Cooper, I know you, you want this baby just as much as Jon does. Whatever happened to the girl who was never going to have kids, what happened to the girl who wore the pants in the relationship, what happened to the girl who would rather give up sex then to have a little punk running around to change a diaper?'
'I fell in love, got married, I'm with a man that makes me want to have a baby so I can raise that baby with him and we can have a family together.'
'You've become a softy. I can't believe I'm friends with one of those kinds of girls.'
'Oh shut up one day you'll feel the same way.'
'No I won't. I hate kids.'
'Whatever.' Cooper laughed before getting into her Mercedes and starting home to her husband. Cooper walked into the seemingly quiet house noticing that Jon wasn't downstairs. Cooper shut the garage door behind her before walking through the kitchen and into the living room to see Jon calmly sitting on the couch.
'Hey baby.' She smiled as she walked in setting her bag down on the floor behind the chair.
'Where have you been?' Jon asked standing up.
'What do you mean where have I been? The same place I go to every Saturday morning with Belle.'
'Cooper, we're supposed to be trying for a baby; we've missed our most fertile time this month while you were gone.'
'Well come on, I bet we can work something out.' Cooper smiled.
'Cooper.'
'Jon, we missed it by fifteen minutes, that doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, come on.' Cooper said as she took his hand and led him up the stairs to their bedroom.
'What are you doing?' Jon asked as Cooper straddled his hips.
'Jon...what is wrong now? You keep stopping me.'
'You have to be on the bottom.' Jon said.
Cooper got off Jon and turned around pulling her tee shirt back on and walking into the bathroom, 'Where are you going?'
'Jon how am I supposed to enjoy having sex with you if everything I do you complain about. Do you know how that makes me feel?'
'I'm sorry babe.'
'No Jon, I don't want to hear it.' Cooper pulled on a pair of shorts and walked down to the kitchen to find some breakfast.
'Coop, I'm sorry.'
'Jon, I know that you want to have a baby and I know you want to do it right but we can't have sex when ever we want to, I can't do anything while we have sex, and you get mad at me for doing things I do on a regular bases.' Cooper said as her stomach began to churn and she felt like she would throw up.
'I'm sorry baby, I know, I'm just so ready for a baby I want to have it right now and I just don't think about anything but the baby.' Jon said looking down at the tile floor. When Cooper didn't answer him he looked up at her to see her leaning over the sink, 'Are you okay babe?'
'I don't feel very well.' Cooper said as she pulled her hair back into a pony tail.
'What's wrong?' Jon asked as he put her hand on the small of her back.
'Don't.' cooper said before running towards the bathroom opposite the stairs. Jon walked in after her and wet a wash cloth dabbing it on her neck as she threw up. Cooper finished and stood up feeling a little shaky. Jon pulled her into a hug soothing her hair back as he kissed the side of her head.
'Are you feeing okay?'
'I feel sick.' Cooper whispered against his chest. Jon picked her up as he did the night of their honeymoon and carried her gently up to their bedroom. He laid her into their unmade bed and covered her up.
'I'm going to go get you some tea and crackers I'll be right back okay honey.' Cooper nodded watching Jon as he walked out of the room.
'So what do you think made you sick?'
'I don't know. I feel like shit though.'
'Well honey all you have to do is lay back, relax, and let me take care of you all day long.' Jon whispered.
'What about our baby, we won't get pregnant.'
'Honey, we always have next month besides you getting better is more important to me then getting pregnant right now.' Jon said as he cradled her.
'Really?' Cooper asked looking up at her husband with tears in her eyes.
Jon laughed a little before kissing her forehead, 'Honey, you're my wife, you're more important to me then a baby that hasn't been conceived yet we'll just wait until next month.'
'Can we practice between now and then?'
'Of course we can, as soon as you stop throwing up.'
**************************************
'Hey Lucy, its Cooper.' Cooper said into the phone Monday morning as she sat in bed with ginger tea and some crackers.
'Hey honey are you okay? You don't sound so good.'
'I'm sick.' Cooper said simply.
'You're sick? Girl you never get sick.'
'I know, I don't know what's wrong with me, I've been throwing up since Saturday morning. I don't think I've ever been sick like this with out it being self induced.'
'Well girl take all the time you need, go to the doctor and get better.'
'Alright, I'll call you later.'
'Alright bye sweetie.' Lucy said and hung up. Cooper dropped the phone and fell over side ways on the bed.
'Alright babe, I got you the sausage McGriddle you wanted and your orange juice.' Jon said walking into the bedroom 'Is there anything else you need?'
'I need some ranch dressing.' Cooper said from where lay against Jon's pillow.
'Alright, I'll be right back.' Jon said setting her food and orange juice down on the night stand and walking out of the room again.
'Alright here you go sweetheart, is there anything else?' Jon asked as he set the ranch down next to her side of the bed.
'No, that's good, thank you baby.' She said sniffly nose and all.
Before Cooper could take a bite of her Sausage McGriddle covered in hidden valley ranch she took off into their bathroom to throw up. Jon set his breakfast down on the bed and walked into hold her hair back as he had been doing for the past two days, 'I'm going to make you a doctor's appointment today.' Jon said as Cooper walked back in with him to their bed.
'Jon, I'll be fine.' Cooper defended as she got back into bed.
'Babe, I know you hate the doctor but I'd rather it be nothing then something big, you have a horrible cold, you've been throwing up for the past three days, I think you've slept more in the past three days then you have your entire life, and you've peed every five minutes for the past week. You're going to the doctor.'
'Jon, I'm fine really.'
'No you aren't babe. You could be really sick; you need to go to the doctor.'
'Whatever; I'm sleepy babe.' Cooper said as she curled up against Jon after she had finished her breakfast.
'Well go back to sleep babe, you were up pretty late throwing up, you need to rest, I'm going to call Dr. Hudson and see when the earlier appointment I can get you in.' Jon said as he got up and walked out of the room.
'I don't know, it depends on Jon.'
'You're letting him decide?'
'Belle, do you know how babies are made?' Cooper asked with a hard smile.
'Yes I know how babies are made, I do it all the time, and we are just not planning on having a little runt so we don't practice.'
'It's his sperm. He decides what we are having. I have no say it in.'
'Only more of a reason not to have a child, if I let my husband pick something like that, he'd vote to buy a refillable keg.'
'I'm sure Jon would be right along side him.'
'Have you guys started trying yet?'
'Not so much, we've had sex once since I got off the pill. We were going to last night but Jon said it wasn't the right time, we had to wait to make sure we were both fertile.'
'There is something wrong when your husband starts calling the shots on your sex life.' Belle said as she and Cooper walked down the stairs.
'You know, it's not so bad. Jon really wants a baby so I guess we're having a baby.'
'Wait wait wait, you want one too don't you?'
'What?'
'You want the baby too, it's not just Jon.'
'I don't know what you're talking about.'
'Don't like to me Cooper, I know you, you want this baby just as much as Jon does. Whatever happened to the girl who was never going to have kids, what happened to the girl who wore the pants in the relationship, what happened to the girl who would rather give up sex then to have a little punk running around to change a diaper?'
'I fell in love, got married, I'm with a man that makes me want to have a baby so I can raise that baby with him and we can have a family together.'
'You've become a softy. I can't believe I'm friends with one of those kinds of girls.'
'Oh shut up one day you'll feel the same way.'
'No I won't. I hate kids.'
'Whatever.' Cooper laughed before getting into her Mercedes and starting home to her husband. Cooper walked into the seemingly quiet house noticing that Jon wasn't downstairs. Cooper shut the garage door behind her before walking through the kitchen and into the living room to see Jon calmly sitting on the couch.
'Hey baby.' She smiled as she walked in setting her bag down on the floor behind the chair.
'Where have you been?' Jon asked standing up.
'What do you mean where have I been? The same place I go to every Saturday morning with Belle.'
'Cooper, we're supposed to be trying for a baby; we've missed our most fertile time this month while you were gone.'
'Well come on, I bet we can work something out.' Cooper smiled.
'Cooper.'
'Jon, we missed it by fifteen minutes, that doesn't mean I can't get pregnant, come on.' Cooper said as she took his hand and led him up the stairs to their bedroom.
'What are you doing?' Jon asked as Cooper straddled his hips.
'Jon...what is wrong now? You keep stopping me.'
'You have to be on the bottom.' Jon said.
Cooper got off Jon and turned around pulling her tee shirt back on and walking into the bathroom, 'Where are you going?'
'Jon how am I supposed to enjoy having sex with you if everything I do you complain about. Do you know how that makes me feel?'
'I'm sorry babe.'
'No Jon, I don't want to hear it.' Cooper pulled on a pair of shorts and walked down to the kitchen to find some breakfast.
'Coop, I'm sorry.'
'Jon, I know that you want to have a baby and I know you want to do it right but we can't have sex when ever we want to, I can't do anything while we have sex, and you get mad at me for doing things I do on a regular bases.' Cooper said as her stomach began to churn and she felt like she would throw up.
'I'm sorry baby, I know, I'm just so ready for a baby I want to have it right now and I just don't think about anything but the baby.' Jon said looking down at the tile floor. When Cooper didn't answer him he looked up at her to see her leaning over the sink, 'Are you okay babe?'
'I don't feel very well.' Cooper said as she pulled her hair back into a pony tail.
'What's wrong?' Jon asked as he put her hand on the small of her back.
'Don't.' cooper said before running towards the bathroom opposite the stairs. Jon walked in after her and wet a wash cloth dabbing it on her neck as she threw up. Cooper finished and stood up feeling a little shaky. Jon pulled her into a hug soothing her hair back as he kissed the side of her head.
'Are you feeing okay?'
'I feel sick.' Cooper whispered against his chest. Jon picked her up as he did the night of their honeymoon and carried her gently up to their bedroom. He laid her into their unmade bed and covered her up.
'I'm going to go get you some tea and crackers I'll be right back okay honey.' Cooper nodded watching Jon as he walked out of the room.
'So what do you think made you sick?'
'I don't know. I feel like shit though.'
'Well honey all you have to do is lay back, relax, and let me take care of you all day long.' Jon whispered.
'What about our baby, we won't get pregnant.'
'Honey, we always have next month besides you getting better is more important to me then getting pregnant right now.' Jon said as he cradled her.
'Really?' Cooper asked looking up at her husband with tears in her eyes.
Jon laughed a little before kissing her forehead, 'Honey, you're my wife, you're more important to me then a baby that hasn't been conceived yet we'll just wait until next month.'
'Can we practice between now and then?'
'Of course we can, as soon as you stop throwing up.'
**************************************
'Hey Lucy, its Cooper.' Cooper said into the phone Monday morning as she sat in bed with ginger tea and some crackers.
'Hey honey are you okay? You don't sound so good.'
'I'm sick.' Cooper said simply.
'You're sick? Girl you never get sick.'
'I know, I don't know what's wrong with me, I've been throwing up since Saturday morning. I don't think I've ever been sick like this with out it being self induced.'
'Well girl take all the time you need, go to the doctor and get better.'
'Alright, I'll call you later.'
'Alright bye sweetie.' Lucy said and hung up. Cooper dropped the phone and fell over side ways on the bed.
'Alright babe, I got you the sausage McGriddle you wanted and your orange juice.' Jon said walking into the bedroom 'Is there anything else you need?'
'I need some ranch dressing.' Cooper said from where lay against Jon's pillow.
'Alright, I'll be right back.' Jon said setting her food and orange juice down on the night stand and walking out of the room again.
'Alright here you go sweetheart, is there anything else?' Jon asked as he set the ranch down next to her side of the bed.
'No, that's good, thank you baby.' She said sniffly nose and all.
Before Cooper could take a bite of her Sausage McGriddle covered in hidden valley ranch she took off into their bathroom to throw up. Jon set his breakfast down on the bed and walked into hold her hair back as he had been doing for the past two days, 'I'm going to make you a doctor's appointment today.' Jon said as Cooper walked back in with him to their bed.
'Jon, I'll be fine.' Cooper defended as she got back into bed.
'Babe, I know you hate the doctor but I'd rather it be nothing then something big, you have a horrible cold, you've been throwing up for the past three days, I think you've slept more in the past three days then you have your entire life, and you've peed every five minutes for the past week. You're going to the doctor.'
'Jon, I'm fine really.'
'No you aren't babe. You could be really sick; you need to go to the doctor.'
'Whatever; I'm sleepy babe.' Cooper said as she curled up against Jon after she had finished her breakfast.
'Well go back to sleep babe, you were up pretty late throwing up, you need to rest, I'm going to call Dr. Hudson and see when the earlier appointment I can get you in.' Jon said as he got up and walked out of the room.
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