FicWad

"Gee and I just fell in love with it and I swear I wanted to cry when we found out someone else's offer had been accepted" Monica explained to Ray as they drove towards the house. "It is so perfect"
Ray smiled, "Gerard mentioned it to me. He said he loves the soundproof basement, that it's just what the band needs." He glanced over at Monica, "I think what bummed him out most was that he knew you wanted it so bad. He told me he hated how sad you were when you found out the other offer had been accepted."
"Yea, when the real estate agent told us it had been sold it just felt so wrong. I don't know it's weird but when I saw the house I just thought this is supposed to be ours. This is the house Gee and I and the girls are supposed to live in." She pointed out the next turn to Ray.
"Gerard said there was another note when you got back from Vegas." Ray said frowning, "Shit, I had really hoped the police would have got her by now. Gerard will be so fucked up if we have to leave for Europe and she's still out there."
Monica said sadly, "I don't want this to affect the band. You guys have been so good to me and now I'm just bring more trouble."
Ray put his hand on her arm, "Monica, you are family to all of us. Fuck, we know how lost Gerard would be without you. All the shit you have been through in your life and now this. It's just so wrong. But you gotta know he loves you so there is no way he's not gonna worry."
They were silent a minute, lost in thought. Monica wanted to change the subject to something less dark, "So Ray, how is "she who shall not be named?"
He looked over and burst out laughing, "She who shall not be named?" I'm assuming you are talking about my girlfriend"
Monica pretended to be surprised, "What? You have a girlfriend? I didn't know."
Ray laughed then grew serious," Monica, I don't know what to do now. I just wanted to keep the relationship to myself for a while, you know? But now it's like some big fucking deal and I'm sorta scared to introduce her to everybody. Fuck knows what Frank will say or do when he meets her."
"Alicia and I were trying to explain to Mikey and Gee that they were part of the problem, you know making a big deal out of you having someone but they didn't get it."
"So Alicia knows too?" They had stopped at a light so her could turn completely to look at Monica.
She shrugged, "She said she could just tell cause you were different."
"Maybe I am, I dunno. I'm sure you've heard my last relationship was shitty so I think that's been part of the problem too. I just didn't want to get burned again."
"And the guys don't want that to happen either."
Back at the coffee shop, Tara opened her notebook and took the lid off her pink pen. Gerard thought it was sweet how professional she was trying to act. She cleared her throat, "I'd like a more personal interview cause I want to focus on why people listen to your music."
"OK" Gee said setting back in the booth then taking a sip of his coffee.
"You music is all about emotion," Tara stated.
"Right"
"So maybe I'll ask you some personal questions and it you don't want to answer then just don't" She smiled nervously.
"I don't usually get too personal but it depends on what you ask." He told her honestly.
"You've been an inspiration for so many kids, you just inspire people and what's so great about the way you do it is you just say to people be yourself and for you how difficult is it to be yourself?"
Gerard thought a moment," You know honestly it used to be very difficult when I was in high school or middle school it was extremely difficult being yourself and actually they kind of beat it out of me, not physically but there was a time when I definitely tried to fit in for no reason like or because I felt like I didn't want to struggle anymore. I went through that about I'd say in Middle school very briefly and I said you know what I'm gonna wear what I want to wear and I'm gonna hang out with who I want to hang out with. You know I'm not a bad kid; I'm not stealing bikes or taking drugs. I'm just a kid who likes Heavy Metal and there's nothing wrong with that and then in High School same thing. I was just myself and then as soon as Punk broke all of a sudden anybody like me, which was probably about five kids, people in the school became really cool and they would be just like why, how did you get into this stuff? I just liked what I liked I was just myself and all of a sudden that made you cool. I don't know if that's cool anymore but it was when I was in High School eventually and it's not about being cool. I didn't even give a shit when, you know, all the Jocks finally did accept me. I didn't really hang out with them. I actually think being cool is one of the worst things in the world; I actually strive against fitting in and being cool. I think its lame, I think its whack. I think it's an empty hollow pursuit. I think you could spend your time doing so many more great things, you could create, you know. But that leads us to the Band. People often ask why we got so big so fast and the honest truth basic answer is cause we were ourselves and we got lots of fans because we didn't try and shit. We were ourselves and the minute we stop doing that and try to fit in is the minute our band will suck."
Tara was making sure her pocket tape recorder was working but she was also writing furiously. "If you had to describe yourself what would you say?"
"I don't know, I'm genuinely a mellow guy, I don't do good under stress, um, I do good under stress, under pressure on stage and when I have to deliver kinda with the band. Off stage I have a hard time dealing with stress. I'm quiet, I'm completely normal. I like to sit and draw and I like to watch movies. I like to read comics, I like to read actual books. I like to hang out with my guys in the band. I guess I'm a simple guy."
"If I had to describe you I would say someone who's out to change the world."
Gerard grinned, "We did, we still do want to change the world but I think you can be simple and do it. You just got to be who you are and be yourself creatively like I don't think I'm completely normal or average creatively. That's where we really kind of shine as people. I think we're very bold and very assertive. So I think in that way we're not kinda apt to just sit around."
"If you could change the world what would you change?"
Taking another sip of coffee he tired to gather his thoughts. "This is tough. I think honestly we've always been more interested in how people treat each other then in politics. You still see a lot of rampant problems. That's another reason we started our band cause we wanted to create an environment where there wasn't racism or sexism or homophobia. Because in the scene, which we came from, we still saw that and we decided again to not to fit in and we decided to detach ourselves from that scene which is why we're so opposed to the Emo term. Why we're so opposed to a lot of those terms cause we weren't part of it. We politely declined to be part of that stuff cause we wanted well fuck it, create our own shows, it's all about our show. I don't care where it happens if its five kids or five hundred or five thousand. So that's what I'd really change, intolerance and how people treat each other. Real problem stems from how people treat each other, misunderstand each other. I think that's the reason there's these killings. Obviously there's a ton of problems but I think they all stem from that."
"Why do you think people threat each other badly?"
Gerard was impressed with her questions, "I think people are fearful of what they don't understand that's the main thing. I think they are animalistic and tribal in nature so if there gang mentality its very dangerous. You can see the danger of gang mentality at festivals, lots of people get hurt some people get killed. You see it at soccer games. Gang mentality is what can push kids into shooting other kids and that's not by any means condoning what those kids do. I think kids who shoot other kids are awful, awful people. I just think that sometimes they are a product of gang mentality and misunderstanding. I feel that for some reason you get a bunch of people together and the IQ just drops. So at our shows we're very confident that IQ stays very high."
"You say your normal but you don't have gang mentality, your fans don't have it."
"When I say I'm normal I mean I like a cup of tea like anybody else. I like sitting around drinking a cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette just like anybody else, that's what I mean by normal. I don't like paint myself in like red paint naked and run around. No, I don't do anything like that. I guess my point I'm a little strange but I guess I'm normal in my tastes."
Tara looked at her notes, "In Oakland at a concert you used the "F" word lots. Then you said you have a filthy mouth and you told the audience that they didn't know where it had been."
He laughed, "That was actually a moment that I had on stage where sometimes I will just completely snap out of it and break character and I'll have those moments of clarity and I'll actually go into the mike, be like I don't know why I curse so much and that was all that was. There's a lot of stuff on stage that's unplanned. There's lots of things that fit into the song that I do on a show-to-show basis that just fit to me and I love doing them like crying at the end of "Mama" for example. It's always gonna happen sometimes I change it up but yea, I was cursing a lot then I was, "man I'm sure cursing a lot" and I was like, I was thinking why? I was thinking out loud and sometimes some of my favorite shows are when I'm thinking out loud."
"So do you write all the songs?" She asked.
He shook his head, "No we all do actually. We all write the songs. I think that's a common misconception. A lot of the bigger press we do sometimes they completely centralize around me and it's extremely aggravating because I'm in a band with four other guys that bust their ass just as much."
Tara smiled, "So last question, have you changed?
"I've gone through a lot of depression. In general I'm happier these days. It's important to have a good support group, it's good to have people you can call, good to talk to your folks." His phone rang. "Excuse me just a minute, be right back." He walked outside the coffee shop into the sunshine. "Hey babe."
"Gee, Ray and I are here with Carla. She wants to know what we want to put in as an offer. She suggested we make an offer over the asking price but I said I needed to ask you."
"Honey, tell her to put in an offer that she thinks will get it for us. I trust her, she's mom's friend."
"Are you sure, Gee? I don't want you to spend all this money cause you are trying to make me happy."
"Monica, I love the house as much as you. I'm almost done with the interview and then I'll be right there. Carla will know what our offer should be so have her write it up."
"Love you, see you soon." Monica said
"Love you too." He went back in. "Now lets see. Oh yea, have I changed. We started this band thinking the world was extremely ugly and now we realize it's more beautiful than we thought. I think our music is more reflective of that. You can take it from a guy and his band who used to think everything was shit and we've found it's not all shit. I have changed I'm very happy now. I can find real beauty in things. I was never able to do that, everything disgusted me and I was a very angry little dude and I don't feel so angry anymore. I just kinda wanta give the world something special."
Tara smiled at him, "You already do give the world something special. The music you make is so special." she ducked her head and blushed.
"Thank you Tara, thanks Kevin." He stood, "Tara are you planning on going into journalism?"
She looked up, "Yea, that's what I want to do."
"You should. You asked great questions " He said goodbye once more and headed towards his car. As he put the keys in the ignition he felt a shiver run down his spine. The feeling shocked him. Without thinking he grabbed his Sidekick and dialed Monica's number then realized she had left her phone at home. She had called on Ray's cell. He decided not to call; he could be there within fifteen minutes, less if he tried. He couldn't explain it but he just knew he needed to get to Monica, he wondered if this was what Kelly had felt.

Authors note - The words in the interview are Gerard's. It is a sweet interview he did with a girl who held up a sign asking to talk to him. If you want to hear it, it's on YouTune and was done for TasteiTTV.com. It's so funny to hear him call himself an angry little dude.