Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Kill All Your Friends
Chapter 24
Alice opened her eyes, completely clean and sober. She hated it when she was so.../connected/ to the world. Not a drop of drug or booze on her blood made her completely exasperated. She looked at the clock out of habit even though she already knew what time it was, four o'clock in the fucking morning. She laughed as Bert was walking out of the guest room and they met each other, half way through the hallway.
"It's four o'clock in the fucking morning!" They sang together that part of 'Taste of Ink'.
"That was the first thing I thought when I woke up" Alice said as they walked towards the kitchen together.
"Oh yeah? That wasn't what I was thinking..." Alice raised an eyebrow and punched him playfully on the shoulder, "Quit the dirty thoughts, Mccracken! You were sleeping with your child for Christ's sake!"
The laughed as she opened the pink and blue fridge.
"I've never understand how you ended up with a pink and blue fridge." He stammered, laughing at the thing.
"My stepfather is sort of a ...hmm, how could I describe him? It's a mix of hippie with...hmmm I don't know...there's a word to describe him I just can't remember it right now" She laughed at her four o'clock gibberish, "so he decided to paint the motherfucker blue and pink"
"Damn"
"What?"
"You just sounded like Gerard"
"Shut the fuck up, Bert" Alice huffed, raising the box of Lucky Charms and soy milk for him to approve.
"You did...Hmm don't you have whole milk?"
She nodded yes and took out two bowls, serving the Lucky Charms on both and filling one with whole milk and the other one with whole milk. She handed Bert his plate and they sat on the kitchen floor, legs sprawled in front of them, eating in silence.
"Why do you take it as an insult if I call you Gerard?"
"'Cause I take it from you that isn't a compliment...and he hasn't been exactly, umm, subtle with me either..."
She said as she washed the dishes.
"Well, it's not a compliment but it's not a criticism either. I mean, if you say something he'd say it doesn't mean its exactly wrong. But...shit, I'm getting off the point. Well, getting off the point I want to talk now about. Shit, I'm doing it again...What did he do to you now, Wonderland?"
Alice slipped a stray hair behind her ear as they walked towards the living room's sofa.
"What do you mean by what did he do to me now? Nothing has happened, Bert"
"Stop lying"
She raised her eyes up at him, and sighed. "I thought we were..mmm linked/, you know? Like for a brief minute I went to his house and he sort of accepted me and then the other one he just said that we were meant to be alone and left me there like a stupid douche bag on his front door. I mean.../Goddammit, I'm so stupid!" she forced a laugh whipping the fresh water from her eyes with the hem of her shirt.
Bert was silent, that tense silence that crawls up your back and settles in your throat as a lump and you think you might choke any minute but it's just the way your brain lets you know you're uncomfortable. So yeah, that kind of tense silence...all of you have been through it. Alice looked at her feet, not knowing if she should say something or just wait for Bert to talk.
"So...what do you think Daniel would want for breakfast?" she said, trying to break the silence.
"You thought you could be with him?" Bert inquired in a small voice.
"Pardon me?"
"You thought you could be with.../him/?" He asked a bit louder. Alice bit her lip, "Er...well...I"
"The same guy who tried to punch you in the face? The same guy who's called you a bitch a thousand times? That guy? YOU WANTED TO BE WITH THAT GUY?!" his tone raised until he was screaming lungs out. Alice shrunk her shoulders and wrapped her arms around herself. The anger and disappointment in Bert's tone was not only shocking but hurtful. He was worried sick about her and he hated the fact that she had considered being with Gerard.
Bert stood up and moved his arms around in anger and frustration, pacing around the room. There was a small sound behind them and they turned around to see a scared Daniel standing in the hallway; he had obviously heard the discussion and his dad's screaming. He ran away and locked himself up in the bathroom. Bert ran after him, pounding the door with his fist
"Daniel open up!"
"NO!"
"OPEN UP!"
"NO!!"
"WHY NOT?"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY AND YELLING ...AND..AND...SCARY!" Daniel slurred between sobs.
Bert had his back to the door and slipped to the floor.
"I'm sorry, Daniel....would you please open up?"
"NO!"
Bert cradled his face on his hands. He was such a lousy father, such an ass. Alice slowly walked up to the door and Bert got out of her way, he wouldn't deal with her right now.
"Go away" she managed to say. Bert looked at her again, anger filling in his eyes once more.
"Excuse me?"
"Go away. Living room". He stood up reluctantly and sat on the couch. She knocked the door slowly, "Daniel, its me...would you let me in?"
There was a pause and then Daniel opened the door a crack, checking to see if his dad was around. "Hurry" he commanded before letting her in. Alice slipped in and locked the door behind her. He was crying still. Alice sat on the floor, "Come here honey" she said, stretching her arms and he came to her, sobbing on her shoulder. She embraced him and he snuggled close.
"It's okay, honey. It was my fault. I said something that made your daddy angry at me. He won't do that to you, okay? Everything's alright. Your Daddy loves you a lot"
"He's no angry at me?"
"No, he's not"
"Does he still love me?"
Alice grabbed his shoulders and carefully pushed him back for him to face her, "Look at me Daniel and listen carefully: whatever happens your dad's your dad and he won't stop loving you, you hear?"
"Yes..." he sobbing was to a minimum now. He thought for a moment and then asked, "Will he leave?"
Alice paused a second, "He will but not forever. Just for a few months and then he'll return to you. Your dad's a very busy and important guy so you've got to understand that he won't be able to be around much but it's not because he doesn't love you, okay?"
"Then why doesn't he take me with him? I don't want to live with gran!"
"He doesn't take you with him because he loves you so much and he doesn't want you to get hurt to where he goes. When it's save for you to be there he'll take you, okay?"
"You promise?"
"I promise"
He hugged her back and Alice kissed the top of his head, "Is it okay if I open up now?"
"Yeah."
They went outside and Bert was back to the door's side with his face on his hands, he perked up as soon as he heard the door creak open.
"I'm so sorry Daniel" He apologized embracing his son.
"It's okay...I'll forgive you if you forgive Alice"
"I didn't tell you to ask for that Daniel!" Alice yelped in surprise.
"That's right, she didn't. But I am asking for that."
"Daniel, it's okay. I told you it was my fault. Your dad and I will talk"
Daniel released his dad, "that's my condition. I want to sleep some more"
"Go back to the room then, I'll close the door so you can sleep well..." Bert said accompanying him to the bedroom and lifting him to bed, covering his small body with the sheets and closing the door behind him.
Alice was sitting on the living room, playing with a cushion.
"I'm not going to lie, I wanted to. I think there's something good somewhere inside him, Bert. But I'm not with him, he doesn't want me to. That's it, end of story."
"Okay...Just be careful, Alice. Seriously."
"Uh-huh" She said, still scared to her very bone. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. "I'm sorry I yelled"
"It's okay...I deserved it"
"No, you didn't. You don't deserve to be treated like crap."
She nodded, knowing that that was what he wanted her to respond. He squished her carefully, "Thank you" he whispered.
"For what?"
"For caring so much about Daniel...I think you're the closest to a mother he has ever had"
She didn't know exactly what he was implying and didn't think Bert realized what he was saying but she smiled and felt happy nonetheless.
It was a compliment, and he apologized.
He won't ever say a compliment and an apology, and if he did then he'll screw up after.
That's what he did: screw things over.
Break things.
Break her.
Alice opened her eyes, completely clean and sober. She hated it when she was so.../connected/ to the world. Not a drop of drug or booze on her blood made her completely exasperated. She looked at the clock out of habit even though she already knew what time it was, four o'clock in the fucking morning. She laughed as Bert was walking out of the guest room and they met each other, half way through the hallway.
"It's four o'clock in the fucking morning!" They sang together that part of 'Taste of Ink'.
"That was the first thing I thought when I woke up" Alice said as they walked towards the kitchen together.
"Oh yeah? That wasn't what I was thinking..." Alice raised an eyebrow and punched him playfully on the shoulder, "Quit the dirty thoughts, Mccracken! You were sleeping with your child for Christ's sake!"
The laughed as she opened the pink and blue fridge.
"I've never understand how you ended up with a pink and blue fridge." He stammered, laughing at the thing.
"My stepfather is sort of a ...hmm, how could I describe him? It's a mix of hippie with...hmmm I don't know...there's a word to describe him I just can't remember it right now" She laughed at her four o'clock gibberish, "so he decided to paint the motherfucker blue and pink"
"Damn"
"What?"
"You just sounded like Gerard"
"Shut the fuck up, Bert" Alice huffed, raising the box of Lucky Charms and soy milk for him to approve.
"You did...Hmm don't you have whole milk?"
She nodded yes and took out two bowls, serving the Lucky Charms on both and filling one with whole milk and the other one with whole milk. She handed Bert his plate and they sat on the kitchen floor, legs sprawled in front of them, eating in silence.
"Why do you take it as an insult if I call you Gerard?"
"'Cause I take it from you that isn't a compliment...and he hasn't been exactly, umm, subtle with me either..."
She said as she washed the dishes.
"Well, it's not a compliment but it's not a criticism either. I mean, if you say something he'd say it doesn't mean its exactly wrong. But...shit, I'm getting off the point. Well, getting off the point I want to talk now about. Shit, I'm doing it again...What did he do to you now, Wonderland?"
Alice slipped a stray hair behind her ear as they walked towards the living room's sofa.
"What do you mean by what did he do to me now? Nothing has happened, Bert"
"Stop lying"
She raised her eyes up at him, and sighed. "I thought we were..mmm linked/, you know? Like for a brief minute I went to his house and he sort of accepted me and then the other one he just said that we were meant to be alone and left me there like a stupid douche bag on his front door. I mean.../Goddammit, I'm so stupid!" she forced a laugh whipping the fresh water from her eyes with the hem of her shirt.
Bert was silent, that tense silence that crawls up your back and settles in your throat as a lump and you think you might choke any minute but it's just the way your brain lets you know you're uncomfortable. So yeah, that kind of tense silence...all of you have been through it. Alice looked at her feet, not knowing if she should say something or just wait for Bert to talk.
"So...what do you think Daniel would want for breakfast?" she said, trying to break the silence.
"You thought you could be with him?" Bert inquired in a small voice.
"Pardon me?"
"You thought you could be with.../him/?" He asked a bit louder. Alice bit her lip, "Er...well...I"
"The same guy who tried to punch you in the face? The same guy who's called you a bitch a thousand times? That guy? YOU WANTED TO BE WITH THAT GUY?!" his tone raised until he was screaming lungs out. Alice shrunk her shoulders and wrapped her arms around herself. The anger and disappointment in Bert's tone was not only shocking but hurtful. He was worried sick about her and he hated the fact that she had considered being with Gerard.
Bert stood up and moved his arms around in anger and frustration, pacing around the room. There was a small sound behind them and they turned around to see a scared Daniel standing in the hallway; he had obviously heard the discussion and his dad's screaming. He ran away and locked himself up in the bathroom. Bert ran after him, pounding the door with his fist
"Daniel open up!"
"NO!"
"OPEN UP!"
"NO!!"
"WHY NOT?"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE ANGRY AND YELLING ...AND..AND...SCARY!" Daniel slurred between sobs.
Bert had his back to the door and slipped to the floor.
"I'm sorry, Daniel....would you please open up?"
"NO!"
Bert cradled his face on his hands. He was such a lousy father, such an ass. Alice slowly walked up to the door and Bert got out of her way, he wouldn't deal with her right now.
"Go away" she managed to say. Bert looked at her again, anger filling in his eyes once more.
"Excuse me?"
"Go away. Living room". He stood up reluctantly and sat on the couch. She knocked the door slowly, "Daniel, its me...would you let me in?"
There was a pause and then Daniel opened the door a crack, checking to see if his dad was around. "Hurry" he commanded before letting her in. Alice slipped in and locked the door behind her. He was crying still. Alice sat on the floor, "Come here honey" she said, stretching her arms and he came to her, sobbing on her shoulder. She embraced him and he snuggled close.
"It's okay, honey. It was my fault. I said something that made your daddy angry at me. He won't do that to you, okay? Everything's alright. Your Daddy loves you a lot"
"He's no angry at me?"
"No, he's not"
"Does he still love me?"
Alice grabbed his shoulders and carefully pushed him back for him to face her, "Look at me Daniel and listen carefully: whatever happens your dad's your dad and he won't stop loving you, you hear?"
"Yes..." he sobbing was to a minimum now. He thought for a moment and then asked, "Will he leave?"
Alice paused a second, "He will but not forever. Just for a few months and then he'll return to you. Your dad's a very busy and important guy so you've got to understand that he won't be able to be around much but it's not because he doesn't love you, okay?"
"Then why doesn't he take me with him? I don't want to live with gran!"
"He doesn't take you with him because he loves you so much and he doesn't want you to get hurt to where he goes. When it's save for you to be there he'll take you, okay?"
"You promise?"
"I promise"
He hugged her back and Alice kissed the top of his head, "Is it okay if I open up now?"
"Yeah."
They went outside and Bert was back to the door's side with his face on his hands, he perked up as soon as he heard the door creak open.
"I'm so sorry Daniel" He apologized embracing his son.
"It's okay...I'll forgive you if you forgive Alice"
"I didn't tell you to ask for that Daniel!" Alice yelped in surprise.
"That's right, she didn't. But I am asking for that."
"Daniel, it's okay. I told you it was my fault. Your dad and I will talk"
Daniel released his dad, "that's my condition. I want to sleep some more"
"Go back to the room then, I'll close the door so you can sleep well..." Bert said accompanying him to the bedroom and lifting him to bed, covering his small body with the sheets and closing the door behind him.
Alice was sitting on the living room, playing with a cushion.
"I'm not going to lie, I wanted to. I think there's something good somewhere inside him, Bert. But I'm not with him, he doesn't want me to. That's it, end of story."
"Okay...Just be careful, Alice. Seriously."
"Uh-huh" She said, still scared to her very bone. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. "I'm sorry I yelled"
"It's okay...I deserved it"
"No, you didn't. You don't deserve to be treated like crap."
She nodded, knowing that that was what he wanted her to respond. He squished her carefully, "Thank you" he whispered.
"For what?"
"For caring so much about Daniel...I think you're the closest to a mother he has ever had"
She didn't know exactly what he was implying and didn't think Bert realized what he was saying but she smiled and felt happy nonetheless.
It was a compliment, and he apologized.
He won't ever say a compliment and an apology, and if he did then he'll screw up after.
That's what he did: screw things over.
Break things.
Break her.
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