FicWad

Well I'll choose this life I've taken, never mind the friends I'm making
And I get a little shaken, because I live my life like this
And well I find it hard to stay, with the words you say


"Excuse me," I repeated, trying to get through an impossible sea of fans that were standing in the way. I walked up the ticket booth, almost tripping over things on the floor.
"Excuse me," I asked calmly, resting my arms on the counter. "Can I have backstage passes for Pencey Prep?"
"Sure. They cost fifty dollars." He replied, not even looking up from his magazine.
I started fishing through my purse, and pulled out a twenty from my wallet./ I have to have at least a thirty or a couple of tens!/
"Helena?" someone inquired.
"Huh?" I asked, briefly looking up from my purse. I double-timed, looking up again.
It was Frank, of all people.
"You came to see us!" he sounded happy.
"Yeah and I was going to buy backstage passes..." I stopped when he grabbed my arm, leading me away. Walking backwards, I glanced back at the ticket guy, who didn't even notice I got pulled away.
Frank stopped behind a wall, where there were almost no fans. It was kind of peaceful, actually.
Franks happiness seemed to wear off, his expression turned serious. I never saw it that way before.
"Ok, look. I asked you to come here on Monday, because there is a problem. Only you can fix it, and I was hopping to get you over as soon as possible. He quickly glanced around us, like something was coming.
"What? What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.
Before Frank could reply, the speaker came on, drowning out all possible sound.
Please welcome the opening band Pencey Prep!
Frank drew in a breath. "I got to go!" He yelled, dashing away.
"Frank!" I called. He didn't hear me. He was already running up the stairs to the stage, strapping on his guitar at the same time.
I decided to walk over, to get a front view in the crowd. I walked through the insane moshpit, being careful not to get killed. That's when I looked up. My stomach dropped. It was Gerard.
He looked completely wasted, standing up their with incredibly bad posture and breathing with his mouth open. His hair was completely in his face, soaking wet. It looked like he took a shower. His shirt and tie was untucked, hanging out over his black jeans. He kept reaching over to pull up his pants, which were so low they pooled around his shoes. I shook my head. He was a nightmare.
"Um, this is a...song...some songs...its called...well, its kind of...personal...it's called... Helena," he told the crowd, sounding sluggish and slow. My head shot up when he said Helena. He said it exactly the way he said it when he was talking to me, which made me kind of sad. I didn't want to see him this way. This is what Frank was worried about.
The familiar music strummed, I knew it because once Gerard sang it to me while playing guitar.
Gerard's words came out in a scream, and he started jumping around like crazy.
Long ago,
Just like the hearse you died to get in again
We are so far from you...
The crowd started singing along, helping him out. Gerard suddenly stopped jumping, midway through the lyrics. I brought my attention back to him. "Oh no!" I called out, drowned with all the other fans. Gerard was standing in the middle of the stage, tripping over his jeans, which fell all the way down. He tripped, not even aware of what was going on. Half of the music stopped, and I noticed Mikey was staring at Gerard in horror. No one knew what to do.
Suddenly he struggled to get up, slowly pulling up his jeans. He gave a weak smile, and I could have sworn he looked at me before he walked off stage.
Mikey threw his bass on the stage, running after him. I glanced over at Frank, who was desperately looking at me. Ray, the lead guitarist, was glaring at Matt, who was laughing. I couldn't take this anymore. I felt like I had at school Monday, when I had to get away. There were people talking about what just happened, whispers and shouts. My head started throbbing; I squeezed my way through some people, and then started running backstage. I went around from the back, where the security guards didn't see me. I saw Frank and Ray running after me.
"Where did Gerard run of to?" I asked them. Tears started forming in my eyes. I didn't want to see Gerard like this.
"That's what we were going to ask you!!" they yelled in unison.
"Oh, god," Frank whispered. "Now he is running around this is a game."
I nodded. "Then we can't stand here. We have to find him, now."
Without thought, we all ran off to the trailer where Mikey went.
"Where is Gerard?" We all asked immediately.
Mikey, who was sitting on the couch, just shook his head. "I don't know, but I can't believe he went on stage like that. We should have known!" with that he buried his face in his hands.
"Well, as long as we know he's not...dead." I said hopefully.
Frank shook his head. "Don't go there," He whispered.
I nodded, and then stepped outside. Fresh air greeted me, and then it whipped around, swinging my hair in different directions. I put up the hood to my black hoodie; one Gerard gave me awhile back.
I walked to the back of the trailer to get away from the painful wind that was making me cold even through my clothes.
I started walking further away from the trailer, almost near the park that we used to play at. I was staring at it as I walked passed it, thinking about the time when Gerard was pushing me on the swings. We always used to play tricks on Mikey, since he was the youngest.
I turned my head, looking straight into the depressing alleyway. I stopped walking, focusing on the black figure standing there. I slowly walked near it. My pace began to quicken as I made out the person. "Gerard," I whispered.