Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7 > When your heart stops beating
Accidents
After the whole flowers incident, I try to convince myself I've done the right thing, but I still feel guilty. Guilt and self doubt are not emotions I'm familiar with, and I really don't like them. For the last couple of days there's been no sign of him, so I finally convince myself it's over, he's fucked off, and this was exactly what I'd planned all along, and get steadily drunker in the bar. Then, in he walks, and I forget all my promises I made to myself about ignoring him.
"So you finally decided to show your face" I joke.
"Fuck off Yuffie" he replies, without even looking up, sitting down a couple of seats away from me.
Well that's nice. See Yuffie, you were right. He's an arsehole. I ask Tifa for another drink, and down it. I can feel Reno's eyes boring into my back, and look around for something to distract me. I see Vincent sitting in the corner, staring moodily into his glass; he seems pretty out of it. Me and Vincent used to get on pretty well, we were sort of the outsiders, just along for the ride, everyone else had these deep reasons for fighting, we just didn't have anywhere else to go. I stagger over and collapse on the chair beside him.
"Hey Vince" I smile, trying to focus on his face. He turns to look at me with those piercing red eyes.
"Good evening Yuffie" he replies, in that hoarse voice of his. It's actually sort of sexy, in a vampire sort of way. I shuffle closer to him.
"So, where you been?" I ask brightly. He surveys me coldly, but I get the feeling he's having as much trouble focusing as I am.
"Places" he mutters, looking away from me. He's so mysterious, it's strange. I'd say I probably know him best out of our little group, but I still barely know him at all.
"Really Yuffie? Am I so cold?" he whispers, turning away, and with embarrassment I realise I had been speaking aloud.
"No, no your not, it's just, like, we know so little about you, well I, I mean..." I peter out. His eyes are hypnotising, they sort of remind me of fire materia. Actually, they sort of remind me of a certain young man's hair, one whose eyes I can feel burning into my back, but I push those thoughts aside, and lean in closer.
"Maybe," I say slowly, making sure I pronounce all the words right, "You need to open up more"
The words have the desired effect, as I see the implications of what I just said dawn on his alcohol-dulled mind. Slowly, he leans down and kisses me, putting one hand round my waist and runs the other through my hair and down my cheek. His touch is cool, as if he's just come in from standing in a cold wind rather then sitting in a warm bar for several hours. His mouth too is like a cool glass of water. The sensation could have been quite pleasant, but the hand round my waist is made of metal and gears, and the red headed man on the other side of the bar is watching our every move, but somehow I just can't pull away, I just helplessly kiss him.
Suddenly breaks off and pushes me forcefully away. "Lucretia!" he gasps hoarsely, and his eyes are wild and full of a deep, unending pain. He pushes past me and stumbles out the door. I turn, and see Reno has already turned away, and is staring moodily into his glass, which from the looks of it he hasn't drunk from. I stagger over to the bar, where Tifa takes one look at me and hands me a pint glass full of water. I down it and she hands me another. After three, I feel slightly more level headed, and I realise how stupid I've been. Vincent is fragile; we all know that, which is why we tend to send someone from our group to follow him whenever he goes on his travels, to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I go outside and take deep breaths of night air, trying to sober up. It's a full moon, and silhouetted against it is Vincent, who is sitting on the roof of one of the houses. His ragged cape blows out in ripples behind him in the breeze. I guess I really should apologise, something I HATE doing, but for now I'll leave him to his thoughts. I don't know how long I stood out there, but it was long enough to sober up.
"Bit cold out here isn't it?" says a voice. I turn, and there he is, leaning against the wall beside me, staring up at Vincent.
"Looks like you fucked his head up pretty bad"
"I didn't mean to, I was drunk, I just, I care about him, really I do, but not like that, not really, and I know how much he's been through, and I know I shouldn't have I just..." Suddenly everything that's happened in the last few days hits me, and I burst into tears.
************
I don't know why I followed her out, but her crying scares the shit out of me. She's always been so strong, so independent, so Yuffie. Without even thinking, I put my arms around her, praying it will make her stop. She curls up against my chest, still crying. I pull her closer to me.
"Don't" I whisper desperately in her ear, as each tear cuts into me like a knife, as I feel the barriers I put up, the "new Reno" begin to dissolve. Desperately I brush away the tears from her face, but they keep coming, and soon I can't help it, I move my face to hers and kiss them away. She moves her hands around my neck, as I drag my lips across her skin, from her face to her mouth. She pulls me closer and runs her fingers down the side of my face, and following their path with her lips. I stroke the inside of her arms as she does, as I forget everything but her skin, her lips, her taste.
************
The feeling of drowning overcomes me, this is where I always made it violent, took control, to stop myself falling in too deep, I'm too tired, too dead to do that now. My thoughts are filled with him, and only him. One last thought crosses my mind before I am lost to him completely
There is nothing else but here, and now, and us. There is nothing else in the world but this.
After the whole flowers incident, I try to convince myself I've done the right thing, but I still feel guilty. Guilt and self doubt are not emotions I'm familiar with, and I really don't like them. For the last couple of days there's been no sign of him, so I finally convince myself it's over, he's fucked off, and this was exactly what I'd planned all along, and get steadily drunker in the bar. Then, in he walks, and I forget all my promises I made to myself about ignoring him.
"So you finally decided to show your face" I joke.
"Fuck off Yuffie" he replies, without even looking up, sitting down a couple of seats away from me.
Well that's nice. See Yuffie, you were right. He's an arsehole. I ask Tifa for another drink, and down it. I can feel Reno's eyes boring into my back, and look around for something to distract me. I see Vincent sitting in the corner, staring moodily into his glass; he seems pretty out of it. Me and Vincent used to get on pretty well, we were sort of the outsiders, just along for the ride, everyone else had these deep reasons for fighting, we just didn't have anywhere else to go. I stagger over and collapse on the chair beside him.
"Hey Vince" I smile, trying to focus on his face. He turns to look at me with those piercing red eyes.
"Good evening Yuffie" he replies, in that hoarse voice of his. It's actually sort of sexy, in a vampire sort of way. I shuffle closer to him.
"So, where you been?" I ask brightly. He surveys me coldly, but I get the feeling he's having as much trouble focusing as I am.
"Places" he mutters, looking away from me. He's so mysterious, it's strange. I'd say I probably know him best out of our little group, but I still barely know him at all.
"Really Yuffie? Am I so cold?" he whispers, turning away, and with embarrassment I realise I had been speaking aloud.
"No, no your not, it's just, like, we know so little about you, well I, I mean..." I peter out. His eyes are hypnotising, they sort of remind me of fire materia. Actually, they sort of remind me of a certain young man's hair, one whose eyes I can feel burning into my back, but I push those thoughts aside, and lean in closer.
"Maybe," I say slowly, making sure I pronounce all the words right, "You need to open up more"
The words have the desired effect, as I see the implications of what I just said dawn on his alcohol-dulled mind. Slowly, he leans down and kisses me, putting one hand round my waist and runs the other through my hair and down my cheek. His touch is cool, as if he's just come in from standing in a cold wind rather then sitting in a warm bar for several hours. His mouth too is like a cool glass of water. The sensation could have been quite pleasant, but the hand round my waist is made of metal and gears, and the red headed man on the other side of the bar is watching our every move, but somehow I just can't pull away, I just helplessly kiss him.
Suddenly breaks off and pushes me forcefully away. "Lucretia!" he gasps hoarsely, and his eyes are wild and full of a deep, unending pain. He pushes past me and stumbles out the door. I turn, and see Reno has already turned away, and is staring moodily into his glass, which from the looks of it he hasn't drunk from. I stagger over to the bar, where Tifa takes one look at me and hands me a pint glass full of water. I down it and she hands me another. After three, I feel slightly more level headed, and I realise how stupid I've been. Vincent is fragile; we all know that, which is why we tend to send someone from our group to follow him whenever he goes on his travels, to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. I go outside and take deep breaths of night air, trying to sober up. It's a full moon, and silhouetted against it is Vincent, who is sitting on the roof of one of the houses. His ragged cape blows out in ripples behind him in the breeze. I guess I really should apologise, something I HATE doing, but for now I'll leave him to his thoughts. I don't know how long I stood out there, but it was long enough to sober up.
"Bit cold out here isn't it?" says a voice. I turn, and there he is, leaning against the wall beside me, staring up at Vincent.
"Looks like you fucked his head up pretty bad"
"I didn't mean to, I was drunk, I just, I care about him, really I do, but not like that, not really, and I know how much he's been through, and I know I shouldn't have I just..." Suddenly everything that's happened in the last few days hits me, and I burst into tears.
************
I don't know why I followed her out, but her crying scares the shit out of me. She's always been so strong, so independent, so Yuffie. Without even thinking, I put my arms around her, praying it will make her stop. She curls up against my chest, still crying. I pull her closer to me.
"Don't" I whisper desperately in her ear, as each tear cuts into me like a knife, as I feel the barriers I put up, the "new Reno" begin to dissolve. Desperately I brush away the tears from her face, but they keep coming, and soon I can't help it, I move my face to hers and kiss them away. She moves her hands around my neck, as I drag my lips across her skin, from her face to her mouth. She pulls me closer and runs her fingers down the side of my face, and following their path with her lips. I stroke the inside of her arms as she does, as I forget everything but her skin, her lips, her taste.
************
The feeling of drowning overcomes me, this is where I always made it violent, took control, to stop myself falling in too deep, I'm too tired, too dead to do that now. My thoughts are filled with him, and only him. One last thought crosses my mind before I am lost to him completely
There is nothing else but here, and now, and us. There is nothing else in the world but this.
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