FicWad

Christa took the elevator back down to Monica's floor and took a seat in the deserted waiting room. In her mind she kept hearing Mikey's voice, "Ray made me promise to make her leave. He doesn't want her here." She lowered her head and tired not to let her tears fall. Why had he told her he loved her earlier? Why didn't he want her with him?
"Christa are you OK?" a voice asked.
She looked up to see Gerard standing in front of her. He couldn't sleep and has come out of Monica's room planning to go check on Ray. He had been surprised to see Christa in the waiting room. The tears she had been holding back fell when she looked up at him.
He took the seat next to her, "Is something wrong with Ray? Did something happen?" The concern in his voice caused her to answer quickly.
"No, he's OK. I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you."
He sat back and studied her, "Well I guess all this shit has just caught up with you. I totally understand. You just gotta keep reminding yourself how lucky we all are that he's doing as good as he is. Fuck, we almost lost him."
She wiped the tears from her face, "Yea, I know," she said softly.
"You know you've got to feel so good that it was your voice that brought him out of the coma. He's got to have a strong connection to you."
Christa closed her eyes; his words that were meant to make her feel better hurt terribly. "I thought we did," she whispered.
Gerard was shocked by her remark, "Of course you do. Why would you think anything else? Shit all of us knew Ray had a girlfriend we just didn't know how special you are to him."
"Guess that's why he kept me a secret. Guess that's why he never introduced me to any of you or his family." she sighed, "Cause I'm so special to him."
He leaned forward to look at her but she refused to meet his gaze. "Christa what happened?" he asked gently.
She knew he was trying to be sympathetic but she was hurting too much, "Maybe Ray has someone special but it's not me." she stood and started to walk away.
Quickly Gerard stood and grabbed her hand, "Christa wait. I don't understand. Ray wasn't keeping you from us because he didn't love you. He was keeping you from us because he does love you. He told me he just wanted to keep you to himself a bit longer. Shit, he was planning on Monica and I meeting you."
She looked into his eyes. "Gerard, I just don't know what to think. I love Ray so much but maybe I've been wrong thinking he feels the same way about me. Maybe he realized he needs someone who is better suited for him." She smiled sadly, "You know when I first met him I didn't even know he was in a band. I'd heard of My Chemical Romance but had never listened to the bands music. The first time he picked up a guitar and played I was so amazed. I told him he should be a professional musician." She smiled at the memory. "He got the strangest look on his face."
Gerard pulled her back down to sit by him, "Look Christa I don't understand, please tell me what happened to make you doubt Ray's feelings for you?"
She decided to tell him the truth, "I overheard Mikey talking to Ray's mom. Mikey told her that Ray said he didn't want me here." she looked away, "He made Mikey promise to make me leave."
Gerard was shocked, he couldn't believe Ray would have said something like that, unless..."I've known Toro a long time. He's like a brother to me and I'm pretty sure I can explain why he would have said that."
She looked over at him waiting. Gerard thought a moment, "Ray is the kind of guy who is always trying to do what's best for the people he loves. Fuck, he risked his own life to save Monica. I'm sure that because he loves you he doesn't want you to stay with him. He's afraid that he's not gonna recover from this and doesn't want you to be hurt. In his mind pushing you away is what's best for you. He's trying to save you from the pain of staying with a man who won't be like he was before."
She stated at him and asked slowly, "You really think that's what he's doing?"
He nodded, "Knowing Ray like I do, yea, I think that's what is going on in his head." Watching her closely he asked, "Christa, what if he doesn't fully recover? What if he has some lasting problems? Would you still love him, would you stay with him?"
She answered without hesitation, "I love Ray with all my heart. I would never leave him, no matter what. I just want to help him, stay at his side, do whatever I can."
Gerard smiled, "That's what I was sure you would say. That's what he would say it the situation was reversed. Shit, you two are perfect for each other. Now the hard part is you have to get Ray to realize that you are gonna stand by him, that you won't let him push you away. Toro can be pretty hard headed sometimes."
Christa smiled, "Yea, he can. What do you think I should do?"
"Don't take any shit off him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you are going to stand by him no matter what and that's just how it's gonna be." He stood, "It's late, why don't you go home and try to get some sleep? Take on Ray in the morning."
She shook her head, "No, I'm not going home tonight. I'm going to stay with him. I'll tell his mom I know what he said and I'll explain to her why that doesn't make a damn bit of difference to me cause I'm not gonna leave. I think she will understand."
Gerard smiled, "Shit, Ray's got a feisty girlfriend." He took her hand and helped her up, "You want me to come up with you?"
"No I can handle this on my own, but thank you, Gerard." She reached out and touched his arm. "I hope we can become good friends."
He smiled at her, "First off you can call me Gee if you want, most of my friends do. Secondly, I'm sure we will be good friends. One of my best friends is in love with you. Now get back up there and give him hell."
"I will" she took a deep breath and headed for the elevators. Gerard watched her go, he was glad Ray had hooked up with her. She was just what he needed. He decided to go outside for a cigarette before returning to Monica.
Bob and Kara sat in Starbucks drinking coffee and making plans or at least that was what they were trying to do. "Brian canceled some of the European shows but I'm not even sure if the guys will want to do any of them. I don't think they will want to leave Ray and I know Gerard wont want to leave your mom."
"What do you think? Do you think you guys should continue with the tour?" She took a sip of her latte and waited for his answer. He looked so cute when he was pondering an important question.
"I guess it really depends on how Ray does. I mean if he starts to improve they might want to go. I know he will want us to go. That's just how he is, he won't want us to disappoint our fans. Shit hopefully he would be able to join us before we headed back to the states. Toro is always so determined, I'm sure he will fucking beat this."
Kara nodded, "It just sucks not knowing how he is gonna do. I mean the doctors seem to think he's doing great." She took a sip out of her cup.
Bob nodded, "Yea I think so too. He took another sip of his coffee and looked at his fiancée. Sometimes it bothered him that she was so young. Was she really ready for the kind of commitment they were planning? Was it wrong for him to expect her to be happy settling into married life when she should be planning on going to college with friends her own age?
Kara looked across the table at the man she loved and sighed. She knew the look he had on his face, it was the "she's too young" look. "Bob, I love you. Yea, I'm young."
He cut her off, "Young? Shit you're still in high school." He looked surprised by his own outburst.
Kara too was shocked by his words, "Bob do you love me?" she asked quietly.
He reached for her hand, "I love you more than anything, honey. But it's because I love you that I wonder if I'm being selfish wanting to marry you right out of high school. There is so much of the world to see, so many things you could do."
His thoughtfulness was just another reason she loved him so much, "I will see the world and do all the things I've dreamed of but I will do it with the man I love beside me."
He smiled, "You are wiser than your years, Kara. I'm sorry I doubted our future I guess its just cause my future with the band is so up in the air. I'm afraid they might cancel the whole tour then what would I do? "
"They won't cancel the whole tour," Kara told him, "Ray won't let them, you know that. Besides I'm sure he will recover from this sooner than anyone thinks."
"Making predictions like your sister?" he teased.
Kara rolled her eyes, "Yea, and I predict you and I should get going. Don't want Donna to worry if I'm late."
Bob glanced at his watch, "I didn't think she was expecting you home for another hour."
She squeezed his hand, "That's right not for another hour, wonder what we could find to do in that amount of time?"
He looked at her and smiled. "Yea, wonder what we could do?"