Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Sing for Absolution
Frank told me to meet him in his room in an hour. I was supposed to hear someone walk by my door to let me know when the hour is up. But how was I supposed to know if someone has walked by my door? How was I supposed to hear something like that?
I sat on the ground that seemed like forever, listening to the still silence. The silence was growing sickening, almost as if it was laughing at me, taunting me. I was never going to hear what I needed. I closed my eyes, sighing deeply, a pair of greenish eyes stared back at me in the darkness, and I quickly opened my eyes, sitting on the cold stone floor. It wasn't fair that he showed up in my dreams like that. It wasn't fair that he was able to invade my mind like this and get away unscathed. In the real world this kind of invasion was known as trespassing on private property. Frank was trespassing into my dreams and mind, the most private places one can have away from this world.
Just as I was about to give up and wallow in my sorrow, I heard abrupt and pounding footsteps pass my room in a measured and march-like tempo. When I was sure the footsteps were far down the hall and I caught my breath again, I opened the door slightly, slipping through it and quietly closing it back and running as silently as I could through the hall as I could.
He said his room was easy to find and not so far away from mine, but I had no general map. After going all the way down the left side of the hallway and not finding it, and running all the way back to my room, I took down the right side. I found a hallway that went perpendicular to the hallway I was just on, and stared at both sides, trying to decide which one to go down.
Just as my mind chose the right, someone's arm wrapped around my waist and their cool breath beat against my neck. "I'd go ahead and take the left side," the cool familiar voice said, wryly.
I turned to see Frank smiling, his expression slightly amused. "Where is everyone?" I asked.
If it was night time, it was very quiet.
"They all went out to feed. Every week we dedicate one day to feeding as much as we need to sustain for the rest of the week," Frank said, pulling me down the right side of the hallway and to the very last door on the left.
Once we were in his room, I looked around. His room was almost as cold as mine, with the same stone walls and floors. A bed lie in the middle that had black satin sheets and another door that was on the right wall. In the corner where the desk was, it looked like tons of sheep skin papers and old books were sprawled across the desk, making it look slightly like a history teacher's desk rather than a vampire's.
"So you do sleep," I said underneath my breath, but he caught it.
"No we don't actually sleep. We rest though. The bed is comfortable when you need to think or if you need to unwind. We can never sleep though, even if we wanted to," he said, his eyes staring at the bed, and then smiling at me when he finished.
"I sometimes wish I couldn't sleep," I confessed, not exactly sure why I said it.
"Why do you say that?"
"Sometimes, when I dream, I have actual flashbacks of what really happened in my life. I don't like it. I want to control my dreams, but if you're asleep that's impossible."
"What are your dreams about?"
"When I was little, my dad was a firefighter. He had to leave because there was some deadly apartment fire that he had to tend to in the middle of the night, on his day off. Well, that night I kind of followed my dad on my bike because I wanted to see what he did during his job. I knew what he did, but I'd never seen it. I'm not sure why I wanted to see it anymore...it's almost like that's a lost memory anymore. But when he finally got suited up at the fire station and got to the apartment building the fire was still going on. I saw my father run straight into that fire, no fear, no thought, just straight into the fire. I never saw him come out," I said, ending the story and sitting on the bed.
Frank stared at me a long moment before he began talking. "Your father was killed in a fire?"
I nodded, slightly in a daze as I remembered that very night. I really should've never went, but I did and I couldn't change that. My eyes darted to Frank who was staring at me with no expression.
"Just because we don't sleep, doesn't mean we don't think about the bad things that have happened to us. A lot of us still remember our human life, even if it is just the changing that we remember. I remember my life before now."
I was curious as to what he meant. "How were you changed?" I asked, sliding over so that he could take one side of the bed. His arms latched onto me as he began lying back against the headboard, taking me with him.
His arms were cold and gave me goosebumps. Not exactly sure what was comfortable for him, I laid my head on his chest, to hear nothing. Of course he didn't have a heart...but then how could he feel like he said he did?
"I was changed in 1498. My family had been killed when I was younger and now I was fighting as a close trustee of the King. I don't like to think about who we were fighting because it was unimportant. The important thing was that I was about to die, and the King left me on the battlefield and fled. I was on the verge of death and I could feel that I would die alone. Did I deserve to die alone? I had a crisis of faith at that moment. I wasn't sure if God was only doing this to me to laugh. He had made a mockery of my life so far by killing my family off and leaving me alone, and now after I thought I was no longer empty and alone, I was bleeding alone on the battlefield with no one there to comfort me. No one but the stench of dead bodies that surrounded me. Only about a day after the battle happened, people dug through the bodies, looking for loved ones and someone pulled me from the mass of bodies and took me to a castle. At first I thought it was the king, but soon I found it was a pale man with black hair that was slightly short, and hazel eyes with a keen nose. Gerard changed me that night. He says he saw a longing in my eyes to keep living, he saw a life that deserved more time and was slowly slipping away. The total process took four days, and it was a painful process, but on that fourth day I was born again, and had senses like I never had before."
I stared at Frank as he told the story, his eyes somewhere far off as he confessed his life before he became what he is.
"Is Gerard still around?" I asked.
"Yeah, he lives in a clan not too far from here. I used to be part of it until World War II. I left in the middle of it because he thought I was too weak to be in his clan...he sold me off to Elijah, and I can't say I was totally sad about that."
"I kind of wish I could be like you," I said, looking at my fingers.
"No you don't. My life is only eternal darkness. I normally don't feel, I am forever a cold corpse. Life is lonely and your identity a secret to the world in which you cannot live. There are so many rules to follow in being what I am to keep balances between different worlds. It is life I'd never condemn anyone to."
"I sympathize with you."
"You sympathize? YOU SYMPATHIZE! You don't know anything of what it's like to be undead! You don't know anything of what it's like to have to live as if you don't exist! You don't have to live underground and then go to the regular world to eat so you can survive. You don't know what it's like to have to be around anyone who smells remotely amazing and all you've been wanting to do is rip their throat open and have the blood! You don't know what it's like to feel love after you've felt nothing centuries! You know nothing of my suffering!"
Frank was mad and his nostrils were flaring, leaving me slightly cowering on the bed. I wasn't expecting an outburst like that and it was definitely scary the look he was giving me. "What are you talking about ripping someone's throat open?"
"You have the most amazing scent I've ever smelled on any human. Your scent just begs me to have some, to taste the crimson liquid. Do you know how easy it would be for me to hypnotize you and drain you at this very moment? It would only take thirty seconds to get you and then you'd die in that very minute. That is a curse. This is MY curse," he said, falling into a chair near the desk.
"I'm sorry...I didn't know," I said quietly, tears starting to trickle down my cheeks. I wasn't sure why I was crying, but no angel like him should have to be this miserable. What did he do to deserve this fate?
I sat on the ground that seemed like forever, listening to the still silence. The silence was growing sickening, almost as if it was laughing at me, taunting me. I was never going to hear what I needed. I closed my eyes, sighing deeply, a pair of greenish eyes stared back at me in the darkness, and I quickly opened my eyes, sitting on the cold stone floor. It wasn't fair that he showed up in my dreams like that. It wasn't fair that he was able to invade my mind like this and get away unscathed. In the real world this kind of invasion was known as trespassing on private property. Frank was trespassing into my dreams and mind, the most private places one can have away from this world.
Just as I was about to give up and wallow in my sorrow, I heard abrupt and pounding footsteps pass my room in a measured and march-like tempo. When I was sure the footsteps were far down the hall and I caught my breath again, I opened the door slightly, slipping through it and quietly closing it back and running as silently as I could through the hall as I could.
He said his room was easy to find and not so far away from mine, but I had no general map. After going all the way down the left side of the hallway and not finding it, and running all the way back to my room, I took down the right side. I found a hallway that went perpendicular to the hallway I was just on, and stared at both sides, trying to decide which one to go down.
Just as my mind chose the right, someone's arm wrapped around my waist and their cool breath beat against my neck. "I'd go ahead and take the left side," the cool familiar voice said, wryly.
I turned to see Frank smiling, his expression slightly amused. "Where is everyone?" I asked.
If it was night time, it was very quiet.
"They all went out to feed. Every week we dedicate one day to feeding as much as we need to sustain for the rest of the week," Frank said, pulling me down the right side of the hallway and to the very last door on the left.
Once we were in his room, I looked around. His room was almost as cold as mine, with the same stone walls and floors. A bed lie in the middle that had black satin sheets and another door that was on the right wall. In the corner where the desk was, it looked like tons of sheep skin papers and old books were sprawled across the desk, making it look slightly like a history teacher's desk rather than a vampire's.
"So you do sleep," I said underneath my breath, but he caught it.
"No we don't actually sleep. We rest though. The bed is comfortable when you need to think or if you need to unwind. We can never sleep though, even if we wanted to," he said, his eyes staring at the bed, and then smiling at me when he finished.
"I sometimes wish I couldn't sleep," I confessed, not exactly sure why I said it.
"Why do you say that?"
"Sometimes, when I dream, I have actual flashbacks of what really happened in my life. I don't like it. I want to control my dreams, but if you're asleep that's impossible."
"What are your dreams about?"
"When I was little, my dad was a firefighter. He had to leave because there was some deadly apartment fire that he had to tend to in the middle of the night, on his day off. Well, that night I kind of followed my dad on my bike because I wanted to see what he did during his job. I knew what he did, but I'd never seen it. I'm not sure why I wanted to see it anymore...it's almost like that's a lost memory anymore. But when he finally got suited up at the fire station and got to the apartment building the fire was still going on. I saw my father run straight into that fire, no fear, no thought, just straight into the fire. I never saw him come out," I said, ending the story and sitting on the bed.
Frank stared at me a long moment before he began talking. "Your father was killed in a fire?"
I nodded, slightly in a daze as I remembered that very night. I really should've never went, but I did and I couldn't change that. My eyes darted to Frank who was staring at me with no expression.
"Just because we don't sleep, doesn't mean we don't think about the bad things that have happened to us. A lot of us still remember our human life, even if it is just the changing that we remember. I remember my life before now."
I was curious as to what he meant. "How were you changed?" I asked, sliding over so that he could take one side of the bed. His arms latched onto me as he began lying back against the headboard, taking me with him.
His arms were cold and gave me goosebumps. Not exactly sure what was comfortable for him, I laid my head on his chest, to hear nothing. Of course he didn't have a heart...but then how could he feel like he said he did?
"I was changed in 1498. My family had been killed when I was younger and now I was fighting as a close trustee of the King. I don't like to think about who we were fighting because it was unimportant. The important thing was that I was about to die, and the King left me on the battlefield and fled. I was on the verge of death and I could feel that I would die alone. Did I deserve to die alone? I had a crisis of faith at that moment. I wasn't sure if God was only doing this to me to laugh. He had made a mockery of my life so far by killing my family off and leaving me alone, and now after I thought I was no longer empty and alone, I was bleeding alone on the battlefield with no one there to comfort me. No one but the stench of dead bodies that surrounded me. Only about a day after the battle happened, people dug through the bodies, looking for loved ones and someone pulled me from the mass of bodies and took me to a castle. At first I thought it was the king, but soon I found it was a pale man with black hair that was slightly short, and hazel eyes with a keen nose. Gerard changed me that night. He says he saw a longing in my eyes to keep living, he saw a life that deserved more time and was slowly slipping away. The total process took four days, and it was a painful process, but on that fourth day I was born again, and had senses like I never had before."
I stared at Frank as he told the story, his eyes somewhere far off as he confessed his life before he became what he is.
"Is Gerard still around?" I asked.
"Yeah, he lives in a clan not too far from here. I used to be part of it until World War II. I left in the middle of it because he thought I was too weak to be in his clan...he sold me off to Elijah, and I can't say I was totally sad about that."
"I kind of wish I could be like you," I said, looking at my fingers.
"No you don't. My life is only eternal darkness. I normally don't feel, I am forever a cold corpse. Life is lonely and your identity a secret to the world in which you cannot live. There are so many rules to follow in being what I am to keep balances between different worlds. It is life I'd never condemn anyone to."
"I sympathize with you."
"You sympathize? YOU SYMPATHIZE! You don't know anything of what it's like to be undead! You don't know anything of what it's like to have to live as if you don't exist! You don't have to live underground and then go to the regular world to eat so you can survive. You don't know what it's like to have to be around anyone who smells remotely amazing and all you've been wanting to do is rip their throat open and have the blood! You don't know what it's like to feel love after you've felt nothing centuries! You know nothing of my suffering!"
Frank was mad and his nostrils were flaring, leaving me slightly cowering on the bed. I wasn't expecting an outburst like that and it was definitely scary the look he was giving me. "What are you talking about ripping someone's throat open?"
"You have the most amazing scent I've ever smelled on any human. Your scent just begs me to have some, to taste the crimson liquid. Do you know how easy it would be for me to hypnotize you and drain you at this very moment? It would only take thirty seconds to get you and then you'd die in that very minute. That is a curse. This is MY curse," he said, falling into a chair near the desk.
"I'm sorry...I didn't know," I said quietly, tears starting to trickle down my cheeks. I wasn't sure why I was crying, but no angel like him should have to be this miserable. What did he do to deserve this fate?
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