FicWad

Hello my darlings how are we all? So I beat the writers block finally, but have no idea what to make of this chapter as it was the only thing I managed to spew out from my writing illness. Thank you to all the supportive and encouraging reviews that I got, you people are so bloody nice sniffs so thanks for your kindness and patience, much appreciated. Now on with the story

Quick recap
As the water ran down the plughole Gerard scrubbed harshly at his skin with his flannel, he added more shower gel and rubbed it over his legs and thighs in a bid to rid himself of the imaginary dirt that he had accumulated when he had climaxed. It was Lyn's face and voice that had pushed him over the edge, it was her body that he envisioned when he pleasured himself and he felt tainted and unclean.

Twenty minutes later he was dried and in his boxer shorts and more then ready for bed, he slid in next to Cheyenne and propped himself up on his elbow. He studied her sleeping form as it rose and fell with each breath, she lay on her side facing him, her small hands rested under her face and her beautiful brown hair spilled over the pillow. He let his finger trace her face, but he did not touch her skin, it just hovered above it casting a shadow on her features, her mouth twitched into a sleepy smile and he wanted to gather her in his arms and hold her until sleep consumed his body, but he wouldn't allow himself to. In his heart he felt as though he had betrayed her and it hurt now to look down on her and see her sleeping and unaware of his deception, fair enough it was only imaginary and the pleasure he had received was self inflicted, but it was still wrong of him to think of another woman over her and he felt guilty.
'I'm sorry Cheyenne and I love you' he whispered covering her over with the quilt. He turned away from her and reached up to switch the lamp off, for the first time in their relationship he couldn't bare to touch her.

'Good morning stranger' Cheyenne said sneaking up on Gerard as he stared out the living room window; she wrapped her arms around his naked waist resting her head on his back.
'Morning' he said as cheerfully as he could.
'What are you doing of bed?' she asked kissing his shoulders gently. 'I missed you'
'Just thinking' he said turning in her arms 'I was just coming back to bed'
'Are you coming back to bed as you or the stranger I slept with last night.' She asked.
'Who did you sleep with last night?' he questioned..
'I don't know who he was, I didn't like him much though' she commented 'He wasn't very affectionate.'
'I'm sorry about that' he said 'I came down and you were asleep, I didn't want to disturb you or anything.'
'It felt like every time I touched you you'd move away.' She said studying his face.
'I was sleeping it wasn't intentional' he lied trying to ignore the pleasant touch of her arms around him.
'I guess I'm just being sensitive since I'm leaving tomorrow' she said closing the gap between them and pressing her body up against his.
'That's all it is' he said allowing himself to hold her and feeling her heart beat against his chest, he sighed into her hair as he thought about last nights mistake and the familiar guilt that had plagued him all night came rushing back.
'I have to go' he said suddenly, removing her arms from his waist.
'May I ask where?' Cheyenne replied, surprised at his abruptness
'Just out' he said heading for the door.
'Do you want some company?' she asked following him
'No I'll be fine' he said ascending the stairs two at a time.'
'Well when will you be back?' she called up the steps.
'Later' he shouted back closing the bathroom door.'
*
'...And that's all he said?' Jamia asked handing Cheyenne a can of diet coke.
'Yep'
'All morning'
'Yep that was the only conversation we've had all day and now it's 4.00pm, he hasn't called or anything' Cheyenne said pouting.
'Well maybe he's just busy' Jamia replied
'Or maybe he's not interested anymore' Cheyenne said quietly 'Maybe he's bored of me.'
'No honey don't say that' Jamia said soothingly 'He loves you, he's probably just got a lot going on in his head and when he sorts it he'll be back to normal.' Cheyenne shrugged but said nothing. She had no idea what she did wrong, if she did anything wrong at all, she hated this unsure feeling inside her, she just wished she knew what she did to make Gerard not want to be near her.
'So erm...tell me about dinner last night' Jamia said, she had heard all about last nights dinner already, Amber had called and told her everything including the things she had noticed about Gerard's behaviour. At first she was sceptical, after all Amber had admitted being a little tipsy so her mind could have been playing tricks, but now, after hearing about Gerard's behaviour this morning and seeing Cheyenne pouting she was beginning to think there might be some truth behind Amber's words, and if there were Jamia was ready to kick some serious ass, starting with Gerard.
'Dinner was okay' Cheyenne said 'Lyn was there'
'Really' Jamia said feigning surprise 'what a coincidence? Tell me all about it'
'Nothing to tell really except she has fantastic boobs' Cheyenne sighed
'That can't be all, I wanna know everything' Jamia said.
*
'Hey baby' Gerard said as he walked into the living room, he threw Cheyenne a quick smile, that she didn't bother acknowledging.
'And where have you been?' Jamia questioned. She had spent the last two hours attempting to cheer Cheyenne up and convince her that Gerard still loved her and he comes swanning in like nothing is wrong.
'Out' he said kissing her cheek gently 'had some things to do, where's Frank?'
'He's in the bedroom, he came back about five minutes before you except he told me where he was going to be all day and didn't just disappear' Jamia said sneering at him. Gerard threw a quick look at Cheyenne who had her eyes fixed to the tv screen, he said nothing as he left the room made his way to the bedroom where he found Frank rummaging through some bags.
'Hey man' Frank said looking up at the figure in the doorway. 'Where the hell have you been all day?'
'I had a couple of things to do' Gerard answered coming further into the room.
'You could've told your girl, she's been unhappy all day.'
'Yeah I kept meaning to phone her, but it kept slipping my mind' he lied 'so err what did you buy?' he asked motioning to the four bags that littered the bed.
'Don't change the subject. You know Cheyenne thinks you're bored of her right?' Frank informed him, he had over heard a little of their conversation earlier.
'Are you serious?' he asked moving a bag so he could sit on the end of the bed.
'Well yeah Jamia's been trying to convince her that it's not true, it isn't true is it? Frank asked he has stopped rummaging through his new purchases to study his friend.
'Of course its not true' Gerard sighed 'I just had some stuff to do.'
'Bullshit you've had nothing to do, so what is bothering you so much that you can't even talk to your girl?'
'I don't know if I can say' Gerard said 'it's really bad'
'Obviously' Frank replied 'Look what ever it is you can tell me and I'll keep it a secret.'
'I don't know if I can' Gerard replied shaking his head.
'It can't be that bad' Frank said getting up to close the bedroom door so they could have some privacy. 'So spill you'll probably feel better.'
'Ok' Gerard said taking a deep breath and exhaling 'Oh man...ok last night I...'
*
'No you do it' Cheyenne said pushing Jamia towards the bedroom door.
'Don't push me' Jamia cried slapping Cheyenne's shoulder 'I'm not about to eavesdrop on Frank'
'You're not eavesdropping on Frank its Gerard remember.'
'So why don't you go do it?'
'No I can't eavesdrop on my boyfriend' Cheyenne said honestly
'Uh you're asking me to do that to Frank, but you won't do it to Gerard'
'Yeah' Cheyenne replied 'duh'
'No we will wait here patiently until they come out and if they want to tell us then they will.' Jamia said walking back into the kitchen.
'You are such a looser Mia' Cheyenne teased joining the woman at the table.
'Yeah so is your boyfriend' Jamia retaliated poking her tongue out.
*
'It's not funny Frank' Gerard cried
'Yeah it is, I can't believe that's what you've been stressing about all day, so big whoop you masturbated thinking about someone else, every guy does it.' Frank told him opening the wardrobe door and placing the bags on the shelves before closing it.
'They do?' Gerard asked letting his surprise show clearly.
'Yeah it's natural and after we feel a little guilty but you can't help it'
'Oh man I been freaking out all day over it, I felt so bad doing that to her.'
'It's okay, just don't tell her you did it or she'll get offended and all that shit.' Frank said, crossing the room and sitting on the bed again.
'Have you ever done that to Jamia?' Gerard asked letting his curiosity get the better of him.
'Yeah a few times' Frank whispered 'but it's really no biggie.'
'I feel a little better now' Gerard admitted 'Last night I couldn't bare to touch her'
'That would be the guilt' Frank said nodding knowledgably.
'So what do I do now? What do I tell her? I've ignored her all day'
'I don't know, what you have been doing all day?'
'Not much, I felt so bad about last night, I've been setting up a few things for Cheyenne and I to do tomorrow before she leaves.' Gerard said shrugging.
'Awww you're so sweet' Frank said pinching his band mates cheeks only to have his hands slapped away. 'Ow, just tell her you been busy doing work stuff'
'Ok' Gerard nodded 'I can do that, now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go kiss my girlfriend without feeling guilty.'
'Too much info' Frank said scrunching his face up 'Tell them I'll be out in a minute'
Gerard stood up and went to the door placing his hand on the door knob 'Thanks man, I wouldn't know what to do without you.'
'You're welcome, hey just out of curiosity who was it that you were... you know?' Frank said grinning.
'Oh it was Lyn' Gerard said shrugging and opening the bedroom door.
*
'This is ridiculous I'm leaving' Cheyenne announced
'Just wait a little longer' Jamia replied
'No fuck this I'm not gonna wait here until my own boyfriend decides to acknowledge me again, he's been ignoring me all day and I don't think I've done anything to deserve it.'
'Maybe he has an explanation for his behaviour' Jamia said shrugging her shoulders.
'Fuck his explanation, you tell him I've gone home to finish packing my stuff.' Cheyenne said leaving the kitchen and then finally the house closing the door with a loud bang.
*
'You said it wasn't a big deal' Gerard cried.
'Of course it is if the person you're thinking of is your ex, you don't do that do you?'
'But...'
'No buts...ah you can't...no Gerard nuh uh bad boyfriend' Frank said, trying to understand what was going through Gerard's mind when he did what he did thinking about Lyn, why her of all the celebrities and hot women of the world he thinks of her.
'Wh...what do I do?' Gerard asked he was scared now. Frank had nearly crushed his hand in the door when he flew over the bed and slammed the door shut. Gerard had felt a few seconds of relief and now his guilt was back and it felt even worse then before.
'Why the fuck were you thinking about Lyn? Why?' Frank asked.
'I don't know, she had dinner with us last night and then I went to take a bath and it all just went wrong from there' Gerard explained sinking onto the bed. 'I feel sick man'
'Ok' Frank said 'It's not that bad, I mean you could've been thinking of worse things I guess.'
'What's worse then that?'
'You could've been thinking of Alicia or Amber, you can't screw your friend's girlfriends even if it's imaginary'
'That's true'
'Look Cheyenne's leaving tomorrow, so take her home and spoil her before she leaves, cause she thinks you're loosing interest in her. Maybe if you spend time together the guilty feeling will subside'
'I hope so, man she's gonna be so mad at me.' Gerard admitted.
'Well I can't say you don't deserve it, ignoring your girlfriend is a big faux pas'
'Faux pas?'
'Yeah I heard it on the TV' Frank said proudly as Gerard shook his head 'say it with me faux pas...faux pas...faux...whatever man you're a bad boyfriend.' He added when Gerard refused to join in.
'I know' Gerard said standing up 'I know'
*
'You're kicking me out' Cheyenne asked in disbelief.
'No I'm not I'm just saying ...' Bob said.
'Yes you are' she accused 'fine then I'll leave so you can have your Amber and Bob time, don't worry about me I'll just go back to the Way's and be ignored.'
'Chey bear...'
'Don't Chey bear me, have your stupid, romantic, wonderful, sweet, precious alone time, with the woman you love, I'll just go home now' Cheyenne said trying not to cry. She had been at Amber's all evening and it was now 12.00am and she knew she had outstayed her welcome. She wanted nothing more then to go home and cuddle up next to Gerard and tell him how much he loved him, but it was also the last thing she wanted to do as he had neglected her all day. What made it worse was she wasn't sure if she had done something to upset him or not, she felt so unsure.
'Come here' Bob said taking her into his arms like he always did when she needed comforting, he knew it made her feel safe and wanted. 'Listen to me, I'm not sure what is going on with Gerard but I think you should go home and talk about it, you don't want to leave with this hanging over you do you?'
'No' she said into his broad shoulders 'I think he doesn't like me anymore.'
'That's not true' Bob hoped he had no idea if it was true or not. He hoped Gerard wasn't loosing interest the last thing he wasn't was for Cheyenne to get hurt that way. 'You need to talk about this relationships are based on communication right?'
'Right?' Cheyenne repeated. 'I just don't know what I did wrong'
'So let me take you home and you guys can talk this out before you return to Chicago.' Bob said.
'Ok' Cheyenne agreed
*
Cheyenne closed the car door gently and waved Bob off as he turned the car around and drove back to the direction they came from. Walking up to the path she sighed to herself, she had no idea what to do, how are you supposed to behave when your boyfriend's ignoring you? She let herself in with the spare key and shook off her jacket hanging it on the coat rack. She knew Donna wasn't home as her jacket wasn't hanging on it's peg, she wasn't sure if Gerard was home but imagined he was as she could smell the scent of his cigarettes and aftershave . She walked cautiously down the basement steps expecting to find him lounging on the bed waiting for her so they could talk but he wasn't there. She took her cell out of her jeans pocket and started dialing his number, she hit the call button then quickly changed her mind, there was no way she was going to call him again, she was no longer concerned if he made him home tonight or not, she was tired, sad and beyond caring. She undressed quickly, deciding to sleep in her underwear and got into the empty double bed, she switched off the light and waited in vain for the sound of Gerard's footsteps on the stairs.
*
It had been over an hour since Gerard had heard Cheyenne enter the house, he was in Mikey's room and something inside him told him to remain where he was instead of going to greet her and explain his actions. He was undressed now lying in his brother's old bed wandering whether or not to join Cheyenne in their bed, he wanted to but you can't ignore someone all day then cuddle up to them when they're asleep can you? He rolled over onto his side and for the hundredth time that they he mentally bashed himself for his stupid and immature behavior. Closing his eyes he wished tomorrow would come quickly and he prayed that it would be a better day then today. Tomorrow was his official "kiss ass" day to Cheyenne, he was going to make up for the way he had been acting and show her how much he appreciated her. As he fell asleep he felt optimistic about the coming day and it never occurred to him that she might not be there in the morning to join in his plans.

I'm going on holiday for a few days so I apologise now for leaving you all unsatisfied. I promise the next chapter (when it finally get written), will be better as I'm a fountain of ideas again. Till next time xx