Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Saint Lily
Lily stood in front of the microphone with a timid grin on her face,
"Hi everybody." she said with a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
A simultaneous cheer erupted as Lily laid her hand on the microphone, placing her foot forward while smiling at the ground.
Bert wrapped his arm around her,
"Does everybody know Lily?" he asked with a laugh.
"I think you've been acquainted." he mumbled over roar of the crowd, placing his free hand on Lily's head and ruffling her hair gently.
Lily turned to him and smiled, grinning at him like she did that first summer.
Bert's heart seemed to twist as she spoke into the microphone, the audience hanging on her every word.
He watched the way the sun shined on her face...the setting rays spreading a glow across her cheeks, illuminating the faint freckles on her nose.
He watched the way she laughed as the crowd refused to come to silence....the way she scratched her back and leaned forward slightly, silencing the audience with one soft
"Shhhhh"
And as the song started and Lily opened her mouth...Bert found himself sitting on the edge of the stage, staring through blurred lenses...shaking eyes..tears threatening to spill out onto the knees tucked up against his chest.
Her voice filled him....so soft and sweet...flowing through his body in a memory.
He remembered the time he first saw her onstage; hair up in a messy bun, shoes beat up and worn down from nightclubs and bars.
She was shaking a bit and she had this nervous smile on her face...and she would close her eyes and while she sang..maybe to calm her nerves. Over time she gained more confidence, but Bert had to drag it out of her....pulling her onstage with him during shows.
He kind of missed her innocence, in a way..but it was still there, in her eyes...
In the way she would cover her mouth when he pulled down his pants during an interview, tilt back her head and laugh....
But there was something about her that had changed...and he couldn't really explain it.
He could only feel it in his heart.
He looked up to see Gerard, standing behind the curtains, cigarette in hand.
He watched Gerard as he took a drag and exhaled, staring at Lily as she sang HIS song...about HIS ex girlfriend..for HIM.
Lily was Bert's friend..and it became apparent to him that Gerard could never change that...
And it made him happy..somewhat smug.
He smirked as he stared at Gerard, who tapped the ash off his cigarette and looked up at him, catching his eyes as he took another drag in a cool, calm manner.
Bert couldn't explain the look in his eyes..those narrow slits containing what used to be the most gentle of hazel..the softest, most emotive eyes he had ever seen.
They seemed cold now..mocking.
And what was it over?
Booze. A song.
He didn't want to think about it...he wasn't a fucking saint either.
So he pushed it away...those thoughts of what was right and what was wrong...Lily's voice drifting all around him..filling his ears with the almost piercing vibrations of a high note.
But...for some reason..he couldn't free himself from Gerard's gaze.
----------------------------
Lily picked up the second part of the chorus and glanced over at Bert. He was sitting there...staring off into the distance.
Not staring at her...as she figured he would be.
After all, she was singing for HIM...of all people.
Lily raised an eyebrow and quickly glanced behind her...to see Gerard, standing there, cigarette between his fingers....staring at Bert.
Lily glanced back at both of them quickly, putting two and two together.
She hit another high note as a blur of thoughts raced through her brain.
She remembered the way they used to be..in a drunken haze...echoes of laughter, the occasional snort.
All three of them, stumbling around darkened parking lots trying desperately to walk in straight lines.
Fuck, it was so much fun.
She had never kissed Gerard then...
Never shed a tear over his...communication skills..or lack there of.
He hadn't played any mind games with her yet...and Kris was but a fresh wound...a joke, really.
The chorus picked up quicker than before.
Remember that night..in that hotel room...?
Slightly intoxicated and alone with Gerard...after all their baggage and past promises...alone, finally.
His skin on her skin....his jeans rubbing against her bare legs..his lips pressed against her neck..her collarbone....her mouth.
And then there were those nights with Bert...when it was just the two of them trying to make sense of all that Gerard was...and is.
They didn't find any answers at the bottom of that bottle of Jack Daniels..but they tried.
And on those nights...Fuck, she had almost forgotten...
On those nights she'd fall asleep on Bert's bus...head on his shoulder...face flushed from all the liquor and potato chips...and she'd wake up an hour or so later...with his arm around her..pulled ever so tightly to him, legs draped over his own...opening her eyes to the crook of his neck and his chest..rising and falling gently to the rhythm of sleep.
"Bert..I gotta go." she'd mumble, to which he'd reply with a slurred "Ok.".
She'd untangle herself from him and walk to her own tourbus, staring at the pavement...trying hard to sort the feelings flying around her mind like winged beasts... trying to grab them, with her bare hands, and put them back into their cages.
Cages which she kept in the dark...where no one could see.
Memories of white powder kept them company...along with those of Kris and his slender pale body atop hers...and the noises he'd make as he...
Lily sang the last note...bringing herself back to reality.
To the stage...to the present.
All of it was gone now...none of it mattered.
The past..was gone.
It shouldn't even matter anymore.
Lily stared at the sea of people before her..smiling and cheering.
'But it did matter...and it does' she thought as she waved a thank you.
-----------------------------------------------
That look in Gerard's eyes..after Lily had taken a glance at them both..set something off in Bert.
His cocky, self satisfied grin sent shivers up his spine...the way he flicked his cigarette off the stage and stared at her.
Bert remembered, moments before, how Gerard had looked at him backstage.
Who the fuck did he think he was, anyway?
Suddenly, a great surge of emotion hit him.
It was like a movie..being fast forwarded.
He saw everything from the past year being played back at him...at twice the speed.
The movie seemed to slow at crucial parts...
Standing in front of the studio, telling Gerard how much of a prick he was for leading Lily on...
Suddenly, Bert realized..
Gerard is STILL a prick.
And he's dating the woman he had been in love with for over a year.
Gerard knew it too.
He saw Allison's face flash before his eyes....a pang of guilt for dismissing her so easily.
It was quickly washed over with the thought of Lily's smile...the way she looked when she slept..fuck, even the way she ate Doritos.
He shouldn't feel bad for feeling the way he did...he had felt it for so long..but hadn't let himself acknowledge it...like never admitting the sky is blue.
And now he'd tell the world it was blue...if he had the chance...
Fuck, if he was Gerard he would SCREAM it.
He hated how he was so private sometimes.
Every interview he denied it ate away at him. Every time Gerard would shake his head and say in that New Jersey twang,
"Naw, We're just friends." made Bert want to punch him in the face.
The look in Lily's eyes every time she heard him say it....was enough to make Bert go insane.
So.
Fucked.
Up.
If it was him..
If he was Gerard...
He'd tell the whole fucking world.
On stage...with his microphone...
He'd scream it.
Fuck what they thought.
Bert stood up and crossed the stage...Gerard's eyes on him...
He knew he was watching his every move.
Lily was standing there, waving to the crowd....and then..she looked at him.
And Bert could feel Gerard...he could see, in his mind, every time he had made him feel like shit...every time he had denied he was with her...every time he had made Lily feel like she was nothing...a joke.
And she stood in front of him with a weak smile on her face...and he did something he would never regret.
He grabbed both her arms and kissed her.
Hard.
For the longest five seconds of his life.
The crowd erupted in an almost deafening cheer.
He put his hand to her back and pulled her closer, kissing her once more with a hunger he had never felt.
She went limp in his arms..like a rag doll...allowing him to press his mouth against hers..claim what always should have been his..but never was.
He kissed her twice, up on that stage, but it seemed like a thousand kisses...it seemed like everything around him was white...nothing; a blur. There was only that moment...her body finally his...for those few seconds.
He heard Gerard.
A loud,
"WHAT THE FUCK." off in the distance, followed with a loud,
"FUCK THAT, NO, LET ME GO."
And then he pulled away.
She looked up at him with a look of confusion on her face..of shock.
She pursed her lips, trying to form words.
Instead she stood there, staring up at him unable to speak, brow furrowed, an expression of soft disarray on her face.
Bert wanted to apologize..tell her how he felt,
"Lily, I.." he began softly.
Suddenly, Lily was ripped away from him by Gerard's cries of
"FUCK YOU!".
Nothing was white anymore..but clear.
Everything was moving twice as fast as it had been.
She quickly glanced at Gerard, who was being held by two large tattooed roadies.
The few seconds that had passed had seemed like minutes..but, in reality, had only been an instant...in a flash....the photographers missed it, and could now be seen and heard clicking away; waiting for her reaction.
She turned her attention to Bert and
slapped him
and walked quickly off stage.
Pushing past Gerard.
Pushing past Will.
Pushing past everyone.
Ignoring the constant
"Lily, Lily!"
and locking herself in a porto-potty.
What the fuck just happened?
And the strange thing was...
She didn't hate it.
*authors note!:hey girls... this video shows what Gerard looks like in the story at the moment (think bullet proof vests)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znYLbuCdV6U
and here's Bert's--->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CGK_lSzjkw
Oh and ps!
Gerards video was taken DURING warped tour of 05. You can look at their diary from that on youtube somewhere....and Bert's video was taken about a week or so before. Don't listen to what Quinn says in the vid about relaxing in the summer...they actually WENT to warped. Believe me..I have no life and I researched this sigh
"Hi everybody." she said with a smile as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
A simultaneous cheer erupted as Lily laid her hand on the microphone, placing her foot forward while smiling at the ground.
Bert wrapped his arm around her,
"Does everybody know Lily?" he asked with a laugh.
"I think you've been acquainted." he mumbled over roar of the crowd, placing his free hand on Lily's head and ruffling her hair gently.
Lily turned to him and smiled, grinning at him like she did that first summer.
Bert's heart seemed to twist as she spoke into the microphone, the audience hanging on her every word.
He watched the way the sun shined on her face...the setting rays spreading a glow across her cheeks, illuminating the faint freckles on her nose.
He watched the way she laughed as the crowd refused to come to silence....the way she scratched her back and leaned forward slightly, silencing the audience with one soft
"Shhhhh"
And as the song started and Lily opened her mouth...Bert found himself sitting on the edge of the stage, staring through blurred lenses...shaking eyes..tears threatening to spill out onto the knees tucked up against his chest.
Her voice filled him....so soft and sweet...flowing through his body in a memory.
He remembered the time he first saw her onstage; hair up in a messy bun, shoes beat up and worn down from nightclubs and bars.
She was shaking a bit and she had this nervous smile on her face...and she would close her eyes and while she sang..maybe to calm her nerves. Over time she gained more confidence, but Bert had to drag it out of her....pulling her onstage with him during shows.
He kind of missed her innocence, in a way..but it was still there, in her eyes...
In the way she would cover her mouth when he pulled down his pants during an interview, tilt back her head and laugh....
But there was something about her that had changed...and he couldn't really explain it.
He could only feel it in his heart.
He looked up to see Gerard, standing behind the curtains, cigarette in hand.
He watched Gerard as he took a drag and exhaled, staring at Lily as she sang HIS song...about HIS ex girlfriend..for HIM.
Lily was Bert's friend..and it became apparent to him that Gerard could never change that...
And it made him happy..somewhat smug.
He smirked as he stared at Gerard, who tapped the ash off his cigarette and looked up at him, catching his eyes as he took another drag in a cool, calm manner.
Bert couldn't explain the look in his eyes..those narrow slits containing what used to be the most gentle of hazel..the softest, most emotive eyes he had ever seen.
They seemed cold now..mocking.
And what was it over?
Booze. A song.
He didn't want to think about it...he wasn't a fucking saint either.
So he pushed it away...those thoughts of what was right and what was wrong...Lily's voice drifting all around him..filling his ears with the almost piercing vibrations of a high note.
But...for some reason..he couldn't free himself from Gerard's gaze.
----------------------------
Lily picked up the second part of the chorus and glanced over at Bert. He was sitting there...staring off into the distance.
Not staring at her...as she figured he would be.
After all, she was singing for HIM...of all people.
Lily raised an eyebrow and quickly glanced behind her...to see Gerard, standing there, cigarette between his fingers....staring at Bert.
Lily glanced back at both of them quickly, putting two and two together.
She hit another high note as a blur of thoughts raced through her brain.
She remembered the way they used to be..in a drunken haze...echoes of laughter, the occasional snort.
All three of them, stumbling around darkened parking lots trying desperately to walk in straight lines.
Fuck, it was so much fun.
She had never kissed Gerard then...
Never shed a tear over his...communication skills..or lack there of.
He hadn't played any mind games with her yet...and Kris was but a fresh wound...a joke, really.
The chorus picked up quicker than before.
Remember that night..in that hotel room...?
Slightly intoxicated and alone with Gerard...after all their baggage and past promises...alone, finally.
His skin on her skin....his jeans rubbing against her bare legs..his lips pressed against her neck..her collarbone....her mouth.
And then there were those nights with Bert...when it was just the two of them trying to make sense of all that Gerard was...and is.
They didn't find any answers at the bottom of that bottle of Jack Daniels..but they tried.
And on those nights...Fuck, she had almost forgotten...
On those nights she'd fall asleep on Bert's bus...head on his shoulder...face flushed from all the liquor and potato chips...and she'd wake up an hour or so later...with his arm around her..pulled ever so tightly to him, legs draped over his own...opening her eyes to the crook of his neck and his chest..rising and falling gently to the rhythm of sleep.
"Bert..I gotta go." she'd mumble, to which he'd reply with a slurred "Ok.".
She'd untangle herself from him and walk to her own tourbus, staring at the pavement...trying hard to sort the feelings flying around her mind like winged beasts... trying to grab them, with her bare hands, and put them back into their cages.
Cages which she kept in the dark...where no one could see.
Memories of white powder kept them company...along with those of Kris and his slender pale body atop hers...and the noises he'd make as he...
Lily sang the last note...bringing herself back to reality.
To the stage...to the present.
All of it was gone now...none of it mattered.
The past..was gone.
It shouldn't even matter anymore.
Lily stared at the sea of people before her..smiling and cheering.
'But it did matter...and it does' she thought as she waved a thank you.
-----------------------------------------------
That look in Gerard's eyes..after Lily had taken a glance at them both..set something off in Bert.
His cocky, self satisfied grin sent shivers up his spine...the way he flicked his cigarette off the stage and stared at her.
Bert remembered, moments before, how Gerard had looked at him backstage.
Who the fuck did he think he was, anyway?
Suddenly, a great surge of emotion hit him.
It was like a movie..being fast forwarded.
He saw everything from the past year being played back at him...at twice the speed.
The movie seemed to slow at crucial parts...
Standing in front of the studio, telling Gerard how much of a prick he was for leading Lily on...
Suddenly, Bert realized..
Gerard is STILL a prick.
And he's dating the woman he had been in love with for over a year.
Gerard knew it too.
He saw Allison's face flash before his eyes....a pang of guilt for dismissing her so easily.
It was quickly washed over with the thought of Lily's smile...the way she looked when she slept..fuck, even the way she ate Doritos.
He shouldn't feel bad for feeling the way he did...he had felt it for so long..but hadn't let himself acknowledge it...like never admitting the sky is blue.
And now he'd tell the world it was blue...if he had the chance...
Fuck, if he was Gerard he would SCREAM it.
He hated how he was so private sometimes.
Every interview he denied it ate away at him. Every time Gerard would shake his head and say in that New Jersey twang,
"Naw, We're just friends." made Bert want to punch him in the face.
The look in Lily's eyes every time she heard him say it....was enough to make Bert go insane.
So.
Fucked.
Up.
If it was him..
If he was Gerard...
He'd tell the whole fucking world.
On stage...with his microphone...
He'd scream it.
Fuck what they thought.
Bert stood up and crossed the stage...Gerard's eyes on him...
He knew he was watching his every move.
Lily was standing there, waving to the crowd....and then..she looked at him.
And Bert could feel Gerard...he could see, in his mind, every time he had made him feel like shit...every time he had denied he was with her...every time he had made Lily feel like she was nothing...a joke.
And she stood in front of him with a weak smile on her face...and he did something he would never regret.
He grabbed both her arms and kissed her.
Hard.
For the longest five seconds of his life.
The crowd erupted in an almost deafening cheer.
He put his hand to her back and pulled her closer, kissing her once more with a hunger he had never felt.
She went limp in his arms..like a rag doll...allowing him to press his mouth against hers..claim what always should have been his..but never was.
He kissed her twice, up on that stage, but it seemed like a thousand kisses...it seemed like everything around him was white...nothing; a blur. There was only that moment...her body finally his...for those few seconds.
He heard Gerard.
A loud,
"WHAT THE FUCK." off in the distance, followed with a loud,
"FUCK THAT, NO, LET ME GO."
And then he pulled away.
She looked up at him with a look of confusion on her face..of shock.
She pursed her lips, trying to form words.
Instead she stood there, staring up at him unable to speak, brow furrowed, an expression of soft disarray on her face.
Bert wanted to apologize..tell her how he felt,
"Lily, I.." he began softly.
Suddenly, Lily was ripped away from him by Gerard's cries of
"FUCK YOU!".
Nothing was white anymore..but clear.
Everything was moving twice as fast as it had been.
She quickly glanced at Gerard, who was being held by two large tattooed roadies.
The few seconds that had passed had seemed like minutes..but, in reality, had only been an instant...in a flash....the photographers missed it, and could now be seen and heard clicking away; waiting for her reaction.
She turned her attention to Bert and
slapped him
and walked quickly off stage.
Pushing past Gerard.
Pushing past Will.
Pushing past everyone.
Ignoring the constant
"Lily, Lily!"
and locking herself in a porto-potty.
What the fuck just happened?
And the strange thing was...
She didn't hate it.
*authors note!:hey girls... this video shows what Gerard looks like in the story at the moment (think bullet proof vests)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znYLbuCdV6U
and here's Bert's--->http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CGK_lSzjkw
Oh and ps!
Gerards video was taken DURING warped tour of 05. You can look at their diary from that on youtube somewhere....and Bert's video was taken about a week or so before. Don't listen to what Quinn says in the vid about relaxing in the summer...they actually WENT to warped. Believe me..I have no life and I researched this sigh
Sign up to rate and review this story