Categories > Cartoons > Danny Phantom > Danny Phantom: Fanning The Flames Remix

Why Can't We Be Friends

by Kairi-kun 0 reviews

Danny & York decide to pay a visit to Vlad in order to solve Dani's DNA issue. But Vlad isn't exactly in a giving mood...oh, Tucker & Star start to get to know each other more

Category: Danny Phantom - Rating: PG - Genres: Action/Adventure, Humor, Romance - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-05-03 - Updated: 2007-05-03 - 12575 words

Danny Phantom: Fanning the Flames Remix
Verse 3: Why Can't We Be Friends?

Author's notes: All dialogue that happens either in the character's thought or otherwise will be displayed in italics.

Also, something else needs to be pointed out: during the completion of this chapter, I saw the series finale for Danny Phantom ('Phantom Planet', the 1 hour episode) & I have to say, I was awestruck. No, not because the series is over, we knew that was coming, but at just how the episode really gave the viewer something to go out on. So, there are some spoilers, somewhat minor to medium strength in length, but I altered certain details. So what I am saying is that this series can now be considered an Alternate Universe tale- so certain events that happened in the final season & 'Phantom Planet' occurred differently than what has been established. Ok, I kept you here long enough, enjoy!

(We open to find Dani, sleeping in a bedroom somewhere in York's mansion. The alarm clock next to her bed goes off & she groggily awakens, taking care not to shatter the clock into a million pieces.)

Dani: This whole story began on a typical day. Well, typical for us, at least.

(With a small grunt, Dani makes herself intangible & floats through the walls, emerging in York's room. York is at his desk, magnifying glass in hand, carefully looking over a stack of papers.)

Dani: Hey, breakfast, chop chop!
York: Did you go through the walls again?
Dani: Only for a short distance.
York: Yes, but I told you that you still need to conserve using your powers. The wound you received did heal, but this thing with your DNA-
Dani: I know, I know. Do you know how frustrating it is to not do what I can do?
York: I have an inkling.
Dani: The guy with the Harry Potter glasses and wild hair is Prof. Altair York, my cousin Danny's history teacher &for the foreseeable future his sensei. I kind of owe him my life; he saved me from Danny's formerly psycho gal pal Valerie & got rid of the Guys in White. Oh, and he's making me stay with him here in his home. Medical reasons.
York: Danny & the others are already downstairs, so hang with them until I get there. And walk.
Dani: Yeah, yeah, worry wart.

(Dani walks out of the door to York's room & encounters Danny, who has a karate gi on.)

Danny: I take it he's still grading Dash's papers.
Dani: Oh yeah. Never has so much work been sunk into giving that moose head a 2.0 GPA.
Danny: Dash a 2.0 GPA...are we sure it's not a sign of the apocalypse?
Dani: Fairly positive.
Danny: In any case, come on down, we're having pancakes.

(In the kitchen, Sam Ember & Valerie are having an important discussion.)

Ember: Not even eggs?
Sam: Nope, no eggs.
Ember: Oh come on, it's not even a form of meat!
Sam: But they are part of the process that creates the chicken, so I don't eat them.
Ember: But they aren't even flippin' embryos! The rooster didn't even get a chance to perform his duty, it's perfectly ok to eat them.
Valerie: I don't even want to know how these things get started. (Danny & Dani arrive in the kitchen.)
Dani: Odd, isn't it? Three different girls, all with one thing in common: they have something for my cousin.
Ember: I have WHAT? Hey, what are you doing?
Dani: I'm giving my two cents to the reader, that's all
Ember: Sounds like you're spreading gossip. Like I'd want a romance with Baby Pop over here.
Dani: Oh, so what was that business in the park then?
Ember: That was a moment of weakness on his part, I assure you. And is this being written in SCRIPT FORMAT?!
Dani: What's wrong with that?
Ember: Plenty. It's a miracle this was on for so long without getting deleted, like that Sakura story.
Dani: Tell me about it.
Ember: Now then... oh right, the story. Well, the kid's got a point. We're all here because of Danny Phantom, which from some people's perspective looks like an attempt by the author to manufacture a Love-Hina Style conflict. It's pretty sad really. Does he even look like the type to be as interesting as Keitaro?
Poindexter: Actually, the hero with a harem scenario is fairly commonplace in manga, anime & fanfiction.
Ember: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! YOU DON'T EVEN SHOW UP UNTIL CHAPTER 4!!! Look, let's skip the commentary-we're all eating pancakes & Sam explains why she opts for Tofu eggs. That's when Valerie says...
Valerie: I hope you're on track for today's exercises.
Danny: Whoopee. A whole day dedicated to defensive maneuvers as opposed to actual punching.
Valerie: Normally, I'd agree with you. But let's face facts, your defense needs work.
Danny: What a ghost shield and ice powers aren't enough?
Ember: Handy sure, but in a up close fist fight, your record's been pretty blah.
Sam: She's right. And in a battle like the last one we had, it's no good to you if you can't react in a pinch.
Danny: That at least covers all the aikido he's been teaching us in self defense class. And I never thought I'd learn so much about joints in my life.
Valerie: It's a start, but we could also go over your speed and reflexes too.
Dani: I thought he was pretty fast already. (Dani sits down with a rather large stack of pancakes.)
Sam: Wow
Ember: And here I thought I had the bottomless stomach.
Dani: Hey, I'm a growing girl.
Danny: You're eating more pancakes than a log cabin full of lumberjacks.
Valerie: I guess some of your dad's DNA is in there after all. (York arrives in the kitchen, papers in left arm, cup of tea in hand.)
York: Actually, you're correct. When I did my initial DNA tests on her, I was positive I'd just find Danny's DNA. But, it turns out that his parent's DNA is in there as well.
Danny: Meaning she's more like a twin sister than a clone.
York: Yeah. That's not all, her metabolism, it's rather unusual, so if it seems weird that she eats more than your average human you can blame that.
Sam: And that also means...
York: Well, she has more physical energy to burn. And as the theory goes, more ecto energy than she knows what to do with.
Ember: Nice to know, but it's no good if she can't control it.
Dani: She's right. I can't make a good energy blast without getting reduced to primordial soup. Hey you're a genius, aren't you?
Ember: Can't you whip up a cure or something?
York: Hey, one crisis at a time, I'm not Merlin...and never get me started on him. First thing we do is...

(A view screen pops up from the wall. It shows an image of Maddie Fenton, with a sports bag. She's wearing a gi as well.)

York: hiding anyone here who's a ghost.
Ember: Roger Dodger.
Sam: C'mon, we've got shaman training to do.
Ember: Ok, but this time, no incense candles. "Burnt Bat Wings" was putrid enough. (Sam & Ember leave the kitchen.)
Dani: This is weird meeting...err...'Mom' for the first time.
York: Just relax, act casual, it will be fine.
Valerie: I'm sure she'll be alright with you.
Danny: I'm more concerned about what my Mom will put me through. I took a lesson from her once & it wasn't my finest moment.

(In the front hall, Maddie enters to see York, Danny, Valerie & Dani waiting.)

Maddie: I see your love of museums hasn't abated much.
York: And I see you have learned to wear something that isn't a jump suit. Welcome.
Maddie: Thank you. So, are there any other students?
Valerie: Sadly no, and it wasn't for a lack of effort.
Danny: Everyone else wanted to spend their weekend doing something not related to school. Some said they'd think about it, but we haven't heard from them.
Maddie: I see...say, who's that?
Dani: Oh, umm, hello! My name's...
Danny: Daniele!
Valerie: Daniele Felton!
Dani: Yes, that's me, pleasure to meet you, Danny's Mom, who I am not related to in any way!
Maddie: Charmed, sweetie.
York: She's a bit of a runaway orphan. I caught her sneaking some food out from my kitchen.
Danny: And he offered to take care of her.
Maddie: Ah, I expected as much. I never told you this before, but Altair here is an orphan himself.
York: Maddie!
Valerie: You're an orphan?
Maddie: You could say that. He doesn't have any memories at all of his parents or his family. He just showed up one day at the doors of an orphanage.
York: And whatever memories I have are fleeting at best. Come on, let's go warm up. Hey, where's Tucker?
Danny: Oh, he's out today.
Valerie: With Star.

(York, Maddie & Dani, looking at each other, exchange puzzled glances.)

Maddie: Tucker's doing something...
York: ...with Star.
Dani: This SO does not compute.
Danny: Yeah, usually you would all be right. But Val & I decided we needed to make an adjustment to their usual weekend schedules. (Danny pulls out his cell phone.)
Valerie: If we're correct, the two of them should be there right about now.

(In front of Amity Mall, Tucker arrives.)

Tucker: Man, this is odd. I thought Danny & Sam were gonna meet me here. (Star arrives at the same time.)
Star: Hey, where's Valerie? She's supposed to be right here. (The two make eye contact.)
Tucker: Star?
Star: Foley? I never figured you for the mall type.
Tucker: And you're correct, but Danny said to meet him here.
Star: Odd, Val said she'd be waiting for me here-oh God.
Tucker: They set us up.
Star: We have some real devious friends.
Tucker: Wait, even they aren't that transparent. This could be an oddly timed series of funny circumstances. (Tucker's phone rings.) Hello?
Danny: Hey Tuck, what's up?
Tucker: Where the heck are you? You and Sam were supposed to be here now!
Danny: Yeah, 'bout that, see this training session with my mom came up, so I kinda have to take care of that...but since you're out there, why don't you make the best of it and hang out with Star, get to know her better.
Tucker: How do you know Star is here?
Danny: What's that mom? You need me to put up the training dummy? Sorry Tuck, you heard her!
Tucker: No I didn't!! (Tucker is cut off.) Well, that was odd. (Star's phone rings)
Star: Let's see what lame excuse she cooks up for me. Hey Val!
Valerie: Listen up, me, Danny & the professor will be in training for most of the day, so hang out with Tucker.
Star: Aren't you at least going to try to come up with a semi-believable story?
Valerie: No, I respect our friendship too much to do that. Hang tight, girlfriend. (Valerie hangs up.)
Star: Hmmm, can't say that I'm surprised. I don't exactly feel like wasting an entire day doing nothing. So Foley, what rather lame thing do you want to attempt?
Tucker: Let me check my PDA. (Tucker pulls out a vast assortment of gadgets from his pockets. Star shakes her head.) Ah, here it is.
Star: Tucker, do you really carry all of those things with you?
Tucker: Short answer, no. not normally.
Star: That's it. Come on, grab your wallet & follow me, we're going shopping.
Tucker: Guys don't shop!
Star: Foley, that preconceived notion of what men & women do is in need of a serious upgrade. And that gadget fetish of yours, we need to fix that!

(Meanwhile back at the mansion, or to be specific, in a hidden study.)

Ember: Really? Those two?
Sam: I'm surprised two. And the Vegas bookies usually give something like this a million to one shot.
Ember: Heck, I've seen stranger couplings, like Johnny & Kitty.
Sam: Just how the hell did that happen anyway, he's got a bit of a wandering eye.
Ember: Long story. The two were lovers before, you know, the big one. From what he can remember, he did a whole lot of gambling in his lifetime. That's probably what got him iced & saddled with that shadow of his.
Sam: Oh, right...and you?
Ember: I kind of remember some of my life details a bit. I mean it's not anything I can piece together clearly, but I do remember my family among other things. It comes to me every other day now. What's with the 20 q, not branching out into ghost therapy are we?
Sam: It's something I remember reading about in here some time ago. Most of the ghosts exist because of some lingering business or some extreme emotion. They can't properly pass on until that's satisfied. Then I remember...Phantom.
Ember: Ah...I've spent several months not thinking about him, and neither should you. What happened is done & over with. Sooner you & Danny realize that, sooner we can all get a grip. Let's just get this boring old shaman training over with. Ready?
Sam: Give me a sec.

(Sam closes her eyes and clasps her hands together, seemingly in prayer. A few seconds later, several Will O' The Wisps surrounds & swirl around Sam.)

Ember: Not bad. You may be the ideal partner yet.

(Downstairs, or more to the point, in the backyard, Danny & the others are practicing.)

Valerie: Come on Fenton, concentrate! (Valerie throws several punches Danny's way. For the majority of the assault, he manages to duck & block them successfully..) Good, you're getting there.
Danny: I don't understand, how am I supposed to think on my feet & react quickly?
York: Good question. Remember, Aikido's main focus is to use the opponent's own energy against them. We've been working on conditioning your body so that you'll instinctively come up with a counter. Now then, again!
Maddie: Just focus & maintain your balance.

(Valerie lunges & punches at Danny's head. Danny, seeing the opportunity, grabs Val's wrist and upper arm & tosses her over her shoulder onto her back, using her momentum as the driving force.)

Valerie: Good, that's more like it!
Maddie: His reaction time is improving better than I thought. If you put him into full time training, he could really give you two a run for the money.
York: Really?
Danny: Tempting, but I kinda want to learn more of what Mom knows.
Maddie: So you could tear Dash's head off? Not until you learn to curb that mischievous streak of yours.
Danny: Come on Mom, I'm not going to hunt down Dash & pound him into a quivering mash of flesh the minute I become a yellow belt.
Dani: Can I?
York: Danny, with what I've taught you so far, Dash wouldn't be able to touch you, let alone think about it.
Maddie: And the training for the other martial arts we could teach you is a little rough.
Danny: It can't be that bad.
York: Sensei once had me carrying buckets of water up and down the shrine steps for a whole hour. Without my gi top.
Maddie: And it was snowing.
Danny: Yikes.
Maddie: If you put enough hard work into it, it does wield tremendous results. Valerie, care to indulge in a quick sparring session?
Valerie: Sure.

(Valerie & Maddie face each other & bow.)

York: Open sparring, you will cease when I give the signal. Now begin! (The two women begin a furious sparring session.)
Dani: Wow, she's good. Real good!
Danny: It's been a while since anyone could give her a real serious challenge. Jazz maybe.
Dani: So you think maybe, er, 'mom' could give me some pointers?
Danny: I'm sure she'd be happy to. Did Vlad teach you anything?
Dani: Only the basics. I've learned some stuff on my own and this lady I traveled with taught me some things. Wow, look at that last kick!
Danny: Wow indeed.
Valerie: Hey, you're not going easy on me, are you?
Maddie: Do you want me to?
York: You two are enjoying this WAY too much. Ok Danny, let's work on your throws. Danielle, if you wish you can test out my new training dummy.
Dani: Training dummy?

(York pulls out a large, grey dummy hooked up to a computer terminal.)

York: This bad boy is a unique design of mine. It measures the power output from a punch or kick & displays it onscreen. The higher the number, the higher the potential. Give it a good punch here. (York points to a mark around the chest region.)
Dani: Looks like something out of an anime.
York: Yeah, I was watching Dragon Ball a lot during the design phase.
Maddie: This looks like that machine you had back in college. Does it work on the same principles?
York: It does, but now it's modified. Ok, give it a go!

(Dani exhales, then gives the dummy a good right cross. The LCD screen that the dummy's terminal is hooked up with displays a score of 650.)

Maddie: That
Dani: Something wrong?
York: Say Dani, just how long did you say you were practicing martial arts?
Dani: Rough estimate, on and off for a year now on my own.
Maddie: On you own, this is incredible.
Valerie: You two gonna include the rest of us in the conversation soon?
York: Oh, right, sorry. See, this machine was built around the concept of 'ki'. It's the energy of the body martial artists can draw their strength from. The dummy here absorbs the blow & calculates the energy exerted.
Danny: And 650 apparently is impressive.
York: Very. Danny, throw a punch at the same spot.
Danny: Sure. (Danny throws a punch & his score reads out at 345.) Just what does it mean?
Maddie: Just this. Valerie, your turn now.
Valerie: Ok. (Valerie punches. Her score is 670.) Wait, hold up. I'm only 20 points higher than her.
Maddie: Even with only a couple of years of training, her ki readout is at a black belt level. The maximum score on this machine is 900.
York: And no, I can assure you, this machine is not flawed. (Maddie backhands the dummy. A score for her reads out at 740.)
Dani: So what does all this mean?
Maddie: It means I want to spar with you next.
Valerie: No way, I gotta try this girl out myself.
Maddie: Flip you for it!
York: Come on Danny, we've got throws and arm locks to practice.
Danny: Right, right...just between you and me, how much ghost energy was she using?
York: None.
Danny: Are you serious?
York: I would know if she used her ghost powers. Strictly speaking, ki is called many things in our world, like mana or chakra, but it essentially believed to emanate from the body and soul. A ghost is essentially a soul in ectoplasmic form, but it can't use ki, only ecto energy.
Danny: Right, and since her ecto energy is limited she has to make up for it by building her ki. Oh man, she could become stronger than me in no time.
York: Don't worry; If you stick with the program we can have you reaching that level soon enough. For now let's focus on 'ukemi'.
Danny: Ukemi? (York makes a motion with his arms & pats Danny on the chest with his left palm, making him lose his balance and fall on his back.) Oh.

(Later, as Danny & Sam go to the mall.)

Danny: Man, he really put me through the ringer today. I'm sore in joints I didn't know were joints.
Sam: Considering that we're specifically chosen to fight some great evil a year from now, I think that's a very minor detail.
Danny: True. I've been trying to look up any and all info on these 'wraiths' and so far it's all been vague.
Sam: Me too. There's a reference to them in the archaeology report that I printed off of Tobin's Spirit Guide homepage. A city in North Ireland was almost reduced to rubble in one day from a reputed attack.
Danny: Ah, speaking of unnatural surprises. (Danny points to Star & Tucker. Tucker is carrying a bag across his shoulders.) The newest power couple in Amity High.
Tucker: Very funny, old friend. I will remember this.
Star: I don't think it'll kill you to hang out with people outside of your usual circle. And speaking of 'power couples', what are you two up to?
Danny: Oh, uh, nothing! Just relaxing after a long day of training with the teach!
Star: Oh right, Val's trying to get me in on that class too. As if cheerleading wasn't stressful enough.
Sam: Gee, what could possibly be so stressful about smiling?
Star: 30 minute workouts, creating new routines, non stop dance practice, dealing with the knowledge Paulina will always dominate the top spot-yeah, it's all a breeze.
Sam: Oh, sorry.
Star: It's funny, actually being with thus goof kind of relieves some of the stress. Plus it's pretty easy to shop for him.
Tucker: She got me to trade in the majority of my gear for this. (Tucker holds up a device that looks to be a cross between a Sidekick and an IPod.) It's an mp3 player, digital camera, has GPS functions and photo storage. Plus it can access any computer operating system.
Danny: In short, she did something that we've been trying to get you to do for months. How did that happen?
Sam: The blonde hair helps
Star: Indeed.
Danny: Of course.
Star: and we used some of the leftover cash to get him some new clothes too.
Tucker: I still don't see what's wrong with my regular clothes.
Star: Oh there's nothing wrong, if you wanna wear the same set 3 years running. If you expand your software, why not be a little bolder & expand the wardrobe too.
Sam: She has a point.
Tucker: Ok, fine, but the hat stays.

(Later, at the Fenton household.)

Jack: 650? Wow, that sounds great!
Maddie: I know, and she is such a natural! She did moves so effectively, almost copying them to perfection! Her reverse crescent kick was amazing!
Jack: I'll take your word for it. Danny, just what the heck is she talking about?
Danny: Oh, Mom had an extended sparring session with Danielle today.
Jack: Danielle?
Maddie: She's an orphan runaway living with York for the moment. Sorry hon, but ever since I came over today, that odd maternal instinct of mine took over, as if I found a lost daughter or something.
Jack: Ah, must be the empty nest syndrome finally kicking in. Ever since Jazz moved out, you've been different.
Danny: Wait, she can't have empty nest syndrome, I'm still here.
Jack: Yes, but you'll be 18 sooner or later & you'll move out t have your own misadventures in a college dorm. It'll just be us doing what we do best-catch ghosts & eating various meats.
Maddie: Speak for yourself. I plan on eating things that won't harden my arteries.
Jack: But York taking care of a kid? I was wondering if he would ever get around to that. It's a miracle anyone is permitted to sleep in the same house as him.
Maddie: What your father means is that when Altair was in college he mostly kept to himself. The government was funding his research, so he used some of the money he earned to stay in private quarters.
Jack: The first year we met him, he had mostly been in the labs doing various research. Over time, he managed to open up & be more receptive of us. Of course, the Rubik's Cube I gave him helped speed things up.
Danny: I think I know what you mean. He was a kid when you met him right? He might not have been too trusting of adults.
Jack: You could say that. Kids his age were just discovering the N.E.S. that time, not writing a thesis on the true origins of Excalibur. (Danny gives his dad a weird look.)
Maddie: There are things about us Danny that would blow your mind.
Jack: I wanted to see if he would drop by for lunch tomorrow but he's going to see Vlad. Those two have quite a lot of catching up to do. Vlad could use the company, after the asteroid fiasco. (Maddie & Danny exchange glances of worry.)
Danny: I think those two will get along well. It's not like York will remind Vlad it was almost his fault that the planet was nearly destroyed by a giant asteroid.
Jack: Well, you can tell me all the details when you come back tomorrow.
Danny: Wait, who?
Jack: I need you to ask Vlad for a favor. I'll be in the workshop all day improving my greatest invention yet! I'll also be upgrading the Ghost Portal so it can download mp3's faster.
Maddie: Will this be a better invention than the Fenton Fondue/Espresso machine?
Jack: I said I didn't mean to cross the cheese & milk tubes!
Maddie: Tell that to my sister. Anyway, Altair has agreed to it, provided I look after Danielle. Now, I know you blame him for setting the wrong coordinates in some effort to try to humiliate your dad, but please try to remain civil while you're there.
Danny: Me, uncivil? Perish the thought. I reserve all my disdain for Dash.

(Elsewhere, Star & Paulina are walking home.)

Paulina: Let me see if I understand this, Valerie & Fenton teamed up to get you alone with FOLEY?
Star: I know. It seems like when those two get together, my troubles increase.
Paulina: Of all the guys to team up with, why that techno-geek? The boy loves his palm pilot's more than more important things. Like me.
Star: Ah, he's not so bad, once you ween him off of the gadgets.
Paulina: You've gonna keep him on a short leash you know. You have that habit to be too dictative.
Star: I am not that controlling!
Paulina: Tell that to Kwan. Hey, maybe you two should try to give it another go. I mean Tucker is so...blech.
Star: He's pretty ok, once the techno babble is dealt with. I mean he even took me to a nice French café & I didn't even need to tell him to.
Paulina: Ohh, details, details! Did he pay too?
Star: It's Tucker Foley we're talking about.
Paulina: Right, but he is still a man. Or a shell of one. A gentlemen is obligated to offer to pay.
Star: we split the bill, end of story. I was afraid he was gonna take me to Nasty Burger. Now, if only his friend was half as charming.
Paulina: Oh, Danny. Ehh, even the dweebs have their own quirks that endear them.
Star: If he has any, be sure to tell me.
Paulina: You're still mad because his dad has wrecked your birthday party 3 years in a row, aren't you?
Star: Damn straight. You'd think by now that whole 'Banshee's curse' hoax someone has been playing on us would have run it's course. Hey, what's wrong? You look upset.
Paulina: I just got a feeling I won't be welcome right now.

(Paulina points to the window of Star's house. Inside, Star's dad is seen talking with an elderly, but built man around the age of 70 with a crew cut. He wears a black shirt with a patch on it, not visible from the spot they are in.)

Star: Oh....yeah, Grandpa, I understand.
Paulina: You know maybe you SHOULD start bringing Foley around your home.
Star: My grandfather would throw a fit if he saw me with him...OOOHHH! Pretty sneaky sis. But even I wouldn't do that to Tucker.
Paulina: Totally in agreement here. How does your dad put up with his crap?
Star: well, he is family, so he feels some obligation to endure his rhetoric. 'Honor thy father' and such. (The door opens. Star's dad & grandfather step out.)
Dad: Pop, I'm telling you, we do NOT need this sort of business hanging over our heads.
Grandpa: And I'm telling you, it's my damn choice son! I couldn't care less about your so called 'pristine family values' image you got with that firm I'll congregate who I want to when I want in your own time!
Dad: Yeah, sure whatever. Never mind the fact that the group you joined is a bunch of racist no good-
Grandpa: Son I will not stand here & let you slander a group of true patriots! Oh hello Star.../Paulina/. (Grandpa narrows eyes.)
Paulina: Sir. Well, I'll be taking my leave. We'll be discussing the Foley business Monday. See you.
Star: Later. (Paulina walks away.)
Dad: So kiddo, have a fun day with Valerie?
Star: Actually, she bailed on me at the last minute. But to make it up to me, she set me up to hang out with Tucker Foley.
Dad: Tucker? 'Bad Luck Tuck'?
Star: Dad!
Dad: Well, that's what you and your friends called him, up until he replaced Vlad & temporarily became mayor until a suitable replacement was found. Well, guess you decided to give all the lesser rans a chance.
Star: This would not be possible without the combined efforts of Val & Danny Fenton. What did I ever do to him...
Dad: Now now, he's a pretty nice kid. I just wonder when he'll wise up & hook up with that Samantha Manson girl. His dad however, he's way too gung ho for his line of work. If all lawyers had as much enthusiasm as he did for his job...dear God, the chaos.
Star: Tell me about it. I'm heading upstairs. Call me when dinner is ready.
Dad: Sure thing. (Star heads upstairs.)
Grandpa: Hmph!!
Dad: Something to get off your chest?
Grandpa: The people she associates with, it's appalling.
Dad: Don't you dare, pops...
Grandpa: Paulina's dad, acting all high & mighty, just because he's got a little more cash than me. And that daughter of his, hrmph! Her whole life is just one big easy ride 'cause of her dad. They even in this country legally? Those people should be watering gardens, not owning them!
Dad: That's enough...
Grandpa: And her other friend, Valerie was it? Her dad got real lucky, that's all I've got to say! His kind gets real uppity real quick, if you hear what I'm saying. Get a few laws passed, all of a sudden they think they can do any damn thing they please. And that boy, know what all of those men really want, don't you? I'll tell you...
Dad: Hey! That's enough. The only reason now why I'm not ripping you a new one is because you're my father & for the sake of my daughter I'm gonna obey that whole 'honor thy father & mother' deal & politely ask you to leave my home. Now.
Grandpa: Whatever. You'll come around to my reasoning sooner or later.
Dad: God, I hope not.

(Grandpa leaves. Dad closes the door, sighing heavily. He turns to see Star at the bottom of the stairs.)

Dad: Hey there...sorry that you had to see that.
Star: Yeah, well I'm used to it. Gah, it's just so damn sickening saying that. (Star sits down on a step.) Dad, just tell me...I mean...
Dad: Go on ahead hon, I know how you feel.
Star: How can I be related to such a monster?
Dad: That's something I asked my own mom for 25 years.

(The next day, in front of Fenton Works.)

York: Ok, remember what I told you.
Dani: I know, ease up on their fridge.
York: And we'll both be back before sundown. Scout's honor!
Maddie: Ok, have fun. Just try not to be swayed by Vlad's charms.
Dani: Vlad has that?
Maddie: Huh?
Dani: Er, nothing, nothing.
Danny: so, it's just us guys, with a whole lot of business at hand.
York: If you're thinking of asking me to ask Lancer to ease up on the tutoring, forget it. The Feudal era will be learned!
Danny: Crud.

(Danny & York enter the van & drive off.)

Dani: Was he always like that?
Maddie: Altair? Not really. He was pretty humorless when we first met. But somehow Jack & I grew on him. It was a good thing too. I saw him a lot on campus before we officially met. Even if he was working, he ad some sort of lonely aura about him. I guess being a child genius was a bit much on him.
Dani: He doesn't seem that way to me.
Maddie: The Rubik's Cube did wonders. Jack's going to be in the workshop all day, so let's go to the park.

(Meanwhile in the van....)

Danny: You're crazy, you know that.
York: Yeah, I get that a lot, especially when I introduced the trans-dimensional window at M.I.T. last year. They weren't exactly pleased to see a image from the Astral Wars in all it's glory.
Danny: Astral're the second person I met that is connected to that in some way.
York: Really? Who's the other?
Danny: Some girl from a parallel world named Tootie.
York: Ah, enough said.
Danny: But back to the matter at hand. There's no way Vlad will just hand over the blueprints for the cloning machine he made. The guy's bitterness personified, and after that incident with the asteroid, he may not be so friendly towards you.
York: I'll have to take that risk, Danny. I need a sample of your midmorph DNA in order to create the formula to stabilize Dani's DNA & prevent her body from breaking down. Reading the blueprints Vlad has may give me an understanding of what Vlad did to create the clones. God, I hate that word, clones.
Danny: I know, sounds so 90's.
York: I'm surprised that you're not asking about how Sam's getting along with her training yet.
Danny: Geez, you're like the 1,246th person to ask about me & Sam!
York: Defensive already?
Danny: Hey, she's my best friend...
York: who just happens to be the only other girl you hang out with, and you get insanely jealous over any guy who hit on her. And from what I hear, you nearly blew it at the North Pole when you guys had your first real kiss. Or did Ember's report leave any juicy details out?
Danny: Ok, you having intel on me is to be expected, Ember however that is just wrong.
York: When a shaman does an integration with a spirit, certain things are shared; thoughts, powers, strengths, that sort of thing. So any memories or thoughts can be transferred between the two. So yeah, they BOTH know about the park.
Danny: I kind of already guessed that. Sam kept on giving me this odd sort of look. And the last time Ember & I accidentally touched...awkward. Why do I attract the odd girls?
York: Let's just sit back, relax & enjoy the tunes I have in my CD player.

(Danny closes his eyes to sleep...only to be jarred awake as the chords of a rapid fire guitar riff assault his ears.)

York: It's Guitar Wolf! This one is a fave of mine.
Danny: Can't you put Dumpty Humpty on? I won't lose my hearing with them!
York: Bleh, the choices in music you kids have, maybe Ember SHOULD take over...

(At the park, Dani & Maddie are enjoying their time together.)

Maddie: so that's when I pulled the lever. The energy was reversed & we sent Morgan back through the gateway.
Dani: Cool! I thought that you guys were only in the business of ghost hunting.
Maddie: Strictly speaking it's research what we do, but we get a good amount of odd paranormal cases. Of course, Jack's usually at the heart of some of our most severe cases. I swear, if it wasn't for the security grid, who knows what else could have escaped from the prison of Avalon.
Dani: I'll take your word for it.
Maddie: You still haven't told me much about your father.
Dani: Oh, well...not much to really say. He's a real creep, that's what I can remember. He didn't really care for my well being, just his work and it nearly got me killed. I had to go.
Maddie: Oh, I see. Sorry if I...
Dani: No, it's ok. I realized what a jerk he was, but I got over it. I really learned a lot about myself while I was on the road.
Maddie: Yes, Altair said that, and you also were traveling with a woman for about nearly a year. Say, why not live with Altair for now?
Dani: Him?
Maddie: Yes, believe it or not I think he can be a good father figure. I also think he's taken a shine to you. No one's been with him more than a day.
Dani: Really?
Maddie: He's somewhat shy. For him, a family setting is still new.
Dani: I understand that feeling too. Hey, wanna go down to the lake & spy on Tucker?
Maddie: Tucker? What for?
Dani: Oh, a little birdie told me a certain someone has a new playmate.

(Elsewhere, Danny & York arrive at Vlad's newest mansion.)

York: Wow, the man sure loves him some chateaus.
Danny: Tell me about it. The log cabin's almost as gaudy.
York: Ever since the asteroid business, I've been curious about him.
Danny: Don't remind me, I've spent time trying to recover from that period of bad history. Master's Blasters, me losing & regaining my powers, my life went to hell the moment he became mayor!
York: Says the boy who still has pictures of Sam in that uniform.
Danny: Ember?
York: Tucker.

(The doors to the mansion open. Vlad steps out, dressed n his business suit.)

Vlad: Ah, my old friend Altair Isaac York, good to see you. And this is a rather interesting surprise, Daniel Fenton. It's been a while hasn't it?
Danny: The self imposed exile could have something to do with that. I'm only here on behalf of my dad.
Vlad: Oh, of course, Jack, the cause of my exile. I can only imagine the tomfoolery he's mucking around in.
York: Oh come on Vlad, he's not so bad once you get around the absent mind and love of ranch dressing.
Vlad: Indeed. I doubt the two of you came here to see the former mayor of Amity Park just to catch up on old times.
Danny: My mental health depends on me not doing that.
York: Sorry, no. I came here to discuss a few business matters.
Danny: And my dad needs a photon accelerator. I don't know why.
Vlad: And it's best that you don't, believe me. Step inside.

(Inside Vlad's mansion, the dup find themselves in a grand hall with many a stuffed animal on display. A huge portrait of Vlad is on the wall.)

York: Well, I see that the self-confidence issues are resolved.
Danny: Him, self-confidence issues? Wow, I learn something new everyday.
Vlad: I wasn't always the self assured man you see before you. I've had my fair share of issues too.
Danny: You don't say. I'm surprised you're still trying to buy the Packers.
York: You're still trying to do that?
Vlad: Attempting. A billion can only get you so far, especially after certain incidents mar our public image. Of course, I'm not a shrewd a negotiator as you.
York: Oh great, the Rotunda Incident. I thought you got over that.
Vlad: You walked into the room & shot me in the rear with a dart. How did you think I would take it?
York: You have to admit, that dart saved you in the long run. Or did the big Nazi about to hit you over the head with a club make you leave out certain details.
Vlad: Good point.
Danny: I'm sure there is a real good story about why you and my parents fought Nazis...
Vlad: And quite good, believe me.
Danny: ...but there a couple of things we need to talk about.
York: Let me get to the point Vlad. There's something you have I need to take a look at.
Vlad: You mean the blueprints for the machine where I made my clones?
York: Uh...
Danny: How did he know?
Vlad: Oh really, gentlemen, did you think I wouldn't be privy to certain information? Your decision to come here & 'teach' is one thing but hiring Damon Gray out from under my nose? Believe me, I took notice.
Danny: Axion Labs, owned & funded by Vladco Industries.
Vlad: How long did it take to figure that out?
Danny: Some time after I saw the clones the first time around. You boasted how you were secretly giving Valerie her ghost hunting equipment and used her to monitor & collect DNA samples. Using that info, plus the fact that her dad worked for Axion, I had Tucker do a few checks & my suspicions were confirmed.
Vlad: Remarkable. If only you put that much effort into your math skills.
York: I'll also guess you still have a security net in Amity Park. The return of Dani must have been setting off a serious red alert.
Vlad: Quite. But I knew it was a matter of time before you came here seeking me.
York: Obviously. With that said, I have duties to perform, so do you have them?
Vlad: Yes. And I do not intend to give them to you. The accelerator is yours, for I hope Jack blows himself up to Outer Heaven & back.
York: Yeah, silly question time, any reason why you're doing this?
Vlad: To be frank, I don't particularly care for the whelp.
Danny: But you created her! She's your daughter!
Vlad: No, she is not my real daughter, she's a mirror copy of you Daniel! If you recall, I said I wanted the perfect SON. She's not my son, just another stumbling block in my quest for the perfect family.
Danny: You really believe that's a valid excuse to deny her something that could save her life.
Vlad: Let me think...YES.
York: Man, you have changed. You'd think the isolation would have changed a man. I thought there was something remotely human about you.
Vlad: Oh, like you're one to talk!
Danny: Huh?
Vlad: That bit of business I'll gladly fill you in on in a minute. I think he's about poised to make a big heroic speech.
York: Nah, not really. I mean I should, but Danny's the P/T hero, big speeches are his bailiwick. I wanted actually to mention this; it was me who tried to cure Vlad of his ecto acne after the accident.
Vlad: Yes, the one your dullard of a father caused. He gave me some ointment & sent me on my way.
York: Actually, there's a bit more to this story. Before I gave you that ointment, I took a few samples of your blood & DNA & discovered, over time, that the DNA & ectoplasm had become intertwined. I asked you to come back in so we could run some tests, but you never returned my calls.
Vlad: So you knew I had ghost powers...
York: And I did nothing. Faith does that to you.
Danny: You actually believed he was capable of doing the right thing, huh? Miscalculations sure do suck.
York: I didn't think he'd take it this far.
Vlad: So sorry to disappoint you old friend, but some of us have found ways of using the gifts given to them. A being of your prominence should know.
Danny: Being?
Vlad: Even now, you still don't choose to tell even old friends & family the truth? How shameful.
York: Coming from someone who clearly hates the only man who still calls him a friend.
Vlad: Touché. Now here's where I, the villain, make another shocking admission. How old do you think York here is?
Danny: Uh, 25, 26 maybe.
Vlad: Try over 2100!
Danny: Say WHAT?
York: Hmm, looks like someone's been peeking in government files.
Danny: Well, that would explain the history fetish.
Vlad: It took me a year to gather all the information I could find, but what I uncovered is remarkable. To think, someone like you can still live on this plane of existence, fascinating.
York: As much as I interest you, we're here because of Dani. I intend on saving her, despite your protests or petty hatred.
Danny: And since you insist on not giving us the blueprints, perhaps we should use my method of negotiations. (Danny transforms into Danny Phantom.)
Vlad: Really Danny? Do you think it will be that easy? (Vlad transforms into Vlad Plasmius.) I don't think you have a grasp of what you're up against.
York: Geez, I didn't think I'd have to go and do this. HENGE!! (A puff of smoke later & York has on his Monk attire.)
Danny: So, what do you say? A dual attack from both sides sound good to you?
York: You know, announcing your attacks is never a good battle strategy.
Danny: Oh right, good point.
Vlad: Especially when I can do things like this! (Several clones of Vlad, three in total encircle the pair.)
York: Tricky.
Danny: The clones are mine!
York: Are you sure? I mean...
Danny: (winks) Trust me. This is what I trained for, right? I'll let you catch up on old times with Vlad.
York: Right!

(Vlad & York face off.)

York: We don't have to do this you know.
Vlad: Oh, but I insist. Master Hamato's style is quite the sight to behold, or so I hear.
York: Really Vlad, I don't want to hurt you.
Vlad: I know, one of the principles of aikido is a total lack of harmful intent in it's application. Sadly for you, I'm not bound by those guidelines.
York: Really? How's that worked for you lately?

(At the same time the Vlad Clones & Danny exchange some words of their own.)

Vlad 1: Really boy, you have enough trouble with the original...
Vlad 2: But there's three of us now.
Vlad 3: You'll pardon the pun, but you don't stand a ghost of a chance.
Danny: You'll never know for sure unless you actually try! Come on, make a move!

(Accepting the invitation, the first Vlad clone swoops in and swings a punch at Danny. Danny, without hesitation, grabs him at the wrist & uses his momentum to toss him over the shoulder onto the floor. The next Vlad clone immediately closes in with a wide backhand, but Danny ducks low, plants his left hand on the floor & quickly kicks up with his right leg, the foot smashing into the clone's chin. Then, before the third clone can begin an offensive, Danny leaps forward, going for a jumping roundhouse. The clone sways back to avoid it, as well as the barrage of fists coming his way.)

Vlad 3: No way! Since when have you become this fast?
Danny: This is why you never underestimate the hero!

(Danny grabs the Vlad clone by the shoulders, front flips over his head & connects with a back heel kick. Meanwhile, Vlad & York continue their battle. Vlad goes for several rapid fire jabs at York's head, but York manages to block or dodge the majority of the attack. Atone point, York tries a knife hand strike to Vlad's forehead, but Vlad manages to become intangible at the last second.)

Vlad: If you're trying to take me down quickly, I suggest you put some actual effort into it.
York: Didn't figure you to be that resourceful.
Vlad: It's another mistake you'll live to regret. Your first was actually wasting your time with Jack Fenton.

(Meanwhile in the park, Dani & Maddie sneak about in the bushes near the park lake.)

Dani: See, there they are. (Dani points out Tucker & Star sitting on a bench together overlooking the lake.)
Maddie: Wow, I'd never figured Tucker could keep her interest for this long.
Dani: I heard they actually tried going out before.
Maddie: Sort of. The details are complicated, but he was more like a servant than a boyfriend.
Tucker: So my dad hoists the bass up high & my mom just shoots him this look, like he wants to eat him alive & spit the bones out. The next day, my mom got a convertible. (Star laughs.)
Star: She sure made it clear what happens if you go fishing on your anniversary.
Tucker: Yeah.

(Both sit back & look ahead out onto the lake.)

Tucker: This is still rather new for me.
Star: I know. I mean normally I'd be content just shopping at the mall right now with Paulina or trying out a whole closet of clothes. But I'm in a park talking with you & it's nothing like I feared it would be.
Tucker: And I'm usually playing some MMO or giving Danny & Sam the details about the latest PDA I found. Man growing up into a mature adult is weird.
Star: Totally.
Tucker: Are you ok with this?
Star: Yeah, I'll live. Do you know what sucks about being popular?
Tucker: The web pages & forums dedicated to how much someone hates you?
Star: Oh, there's that. The other thing that sucks is that you limit yourself to just one group. You only hang out with the same people over & over again & you agree on all the same things. After awhile you realize just how sick of it you are. And heaven forbid that you interact with anyone remotely different from your pack.
Tucker: Sounds like something Valerie would say.
Star: Actually, it's my dad. Ever since the divorce, he's been having a shift in priorities. He's been talking with me more now & we've even gone hiking together. It's real cool & all but if we go to the beach, I swear if he wears a thong...
Tucker: An image I never want in my head has now been implanted. I was kind of afraid though, after that thing that went down with Dash & Danny a few months back...
Star: I guess it takes something like that to get us to think. I never knew Danny could blow up like that.
Tucker: You heard about what Dash almost did right? I think that was the breaking point. People now just stop giving Danny crap or at the most, make an effort to talk to him.
Star: Being around an angry person with a broken arm and three years of pent up frustration changes things.
Dani: What are they talking about?
Maddie: It's a bit of a sore subject for our family. The Baxter family isn't particularly well liked in our household.

(Back at Vlad's, a brand new door way is created as Danny flies in, followed by two of the Vlad clones.)

Danny: Oh come on, how much do you blow on taxidermy?

(The third Vlad cone pops straight up out of the ground, punching Danny in the face. The other two clones close in and smash Danny with a pair of overhead sledgehammer blows, sending him crashing down into the floor. Groaning, Danny slowly picks himself up.)

Vlad 1: See boy, you're just wasting your time.
Vlad 2: You can barely handle 3 weaker copies, dare you think you'd beat the original?
Danny: Heh...and here I thought I'd beat you guys by just my fists alone.
Vlad 3: Watch your tongue, child! You speak as though you have a chance!
Danny: And I still do. I was saving this move to use against Ember, but I guess I've gotta use it on you!
Vlad 1: Optimism is wasted on the youth!

(The 3 clones all converge on Danny's location. Danny smiles as he glows green in his right hand & blue in his left. Then, just before the clones attack...)

Danny: GHOST WIND!!!!

(Danny, with authority, swings his arms in a criss cross arc & releases the energy he charged up. A vortex of ice cold dark blue energy is formed around Danny's body. The energy freezes & tears into the clones, sending them hurtling all over the place.)

Danny: PHEW!!! And they say you learn nothing from fighting games.

(York, who is busy with the real Vlad, looks on from the corner of his eye.)

York: Amazing...he was able to combine his ecto-energy & his control over sub-zero temperatures to create a new attack. Not only that, but it's an effective defensive move that could actually defend from all angles if developed more. Looks like this kid can handle the Wraiths.
Vlad: If you're through admiring your latest prize pupil, I would like to proceed in thrashing you.
York: Vlad, I'll ask you just one last time. You are Dani's creator. There was a time in your life where she considered you to be the closest thing to a father. If you don't want that responsibility, fine, do what you want with your life. But at least give me the means to save her.
Vlad: If you want to get me into a state of remorse over my actions, forget it. Let me explain something to you, all my life I've been seeking acceptance!

(Vlad glows purple as he begins to fire away at York with a barrage of fists & energy blasts.)

Vlad: I've had to endure years of torment & disdain! People took advantage of me & my gifts to better themselves & left me with nothing but empty gratitude! I thought I had a friend in that fool Jack Fenton! That witless blundering bastard has caused me boundless agony & stole the one woman I ever truly loved! Then to top it off, he was the one who caused the accident that created the very man who's going to kick your ass now!

(A Vlad clone appears from behind & shoulder charges into York's back, allowing Vlad to hammer York in the face with a haymaker. York is sent sliding into a grandfather clock. A ecto blast follows shortly.)

Vlad: As for that mistake of mine that you seem so bent on preserving, when I'm done thrashing both you & Danny, I will take my time in killing her for her betrayal! Then I'll see to it that Jack Fenton's last minutes on Earth will be a living breathing hell the likes of which---

(Suddenly, a foot makes contact with the side of Vlad's head. Vlad is knocked down hard as Danny's spinning roundhouse makes contact. Danny's eyes harbor a dark anger as he confronts Vlad, his body giving off a fierce vibe.)

Danny: What did you just say about Dani?! Say it again, I DARE you!
Vlad: Ah, the cub has found his fangs. You're way over your head now, whelp. I don't intend to go easy on you.
Danny: After what you just said about my dad, and what you intend to do to him, not even the Airborne Rangers will stop me from rearranging every bone in your body. You are going to wish that asteroid killed you!

(A hand grasps Danny's shoulder. Danny turns to see York, who's left eye is shut due to the blood from the cut over it.)

York: Danny, that's enough. This is still my opponent.
Danny: Hey, your eye...
York: I've had worse. Being alive for over 2 millennia, you get used to these things.
Danny: I'll take your word for it. For a 2000 year old teacher, you're pretty fit.
York: I know, but my situation is unique. Enough of that, I need to take him down.
Danny: Let me, I mean this guy's been after me and my family & he's gonna try to kill Dani...
York: I know. But I have to fight him Danny. Stand back & take note.

(Danny backs up as York removes his hood.)

Danny: Ok, now what?
York: I've been teaching you aikido not only to develop your body, Danny, but to hone your mind. The skills you have at regular hand to hand combat are good, but untapped. Sensei Hamato's school of martial arts not only teaches aikido, but a form of hand to hand combat that is well respected by many masters. And today, Vlad, you get to see it first hand.
Vlad: Am I supposed to be scared?

(Yet another clone appears behind York. York, without giving it much thought, gives it a quick backhand to the face. The blow sends the clone flying, fast & hard, through several walls, out of the mansion.)

York: Yes.
Danny: Holy Moses!
Vlad: Oh my, seems like I struck a nerve. Of course, you're assuming I care!

(Dashing forward, Vlad throws a right cross at York. York steps aside to avoid it, choosing to counter with a knee strike. Vlad doubles over in pain before being peppered with a pair of jabs.)

York: You've made two mistakes. You've insulted our friend & boasted about killing Danny's father & Dani, one who believed you could have been a great father.
Vlad: What's next, some speech about 'honor'?
York: No, I'm just going to kick your ass.

(Back at the park, Tucker & Star are still talking. Maddie & Dani continue their mission of spying on the two.)

Dani: Wow, those two will talk about almost anything.
Maddie: People in love tend to do those sort of things.
Dani: I suppose...wait how do you know?
Maddie: Huh?
Dani: How do you know those two are in love?
Male Voice: It's the little things, really.

(Maddie & Dani look up to see Mr. Lancer, along with the librarian, Emily, sitting in a tree branch. Both have binoculars.)

Emily: Oh, hello there, you must be Mrs. Fenton. My name is Emily Baker.
Maddie: Mr. Lancer, what are you doing up there.
Lancer: We were observing the local blue speckled crimson warbler complete it's nest, but then Emily noticed that you two were spying on 2 of my students.
Dani: It's not spying, it's tactful observation!
Emily: Riiight...
Maddie: Pardon me, but that branch doesn't look very stable... ( A few seconds later the branch cracks, sending the pair plummeting to the ground.) Scratch that, it's not safe.
Tucker: Psst...Star...we're being watched.
Star: I know. All four of them have been here for over an hour! It feels like we're part of some cheesy soap opera.
Tucker: I'd rather watch Zoey 101.
Star: You watch that too?
Tucker: ...sometimes...
Dani: Note to self, rag on Tucker about that for the rest of his teenage life.
Lancer: Uh oh, the lovebirds are in trouble.
Maddie: Oh God, not him. (Maddie wrinkles her nose in disgust as Star's grandfather appears.)
Emily: Oh my, who's that?
Lancer: That man, sadly enough is Star's grandfather.
Maddie: He's what's known in the old country as 'The Town Idiot'.
Emily: Ah. He certainly looks the abrasive type.
Lancer: Abrasive, yes, that's what they call the Klan.
Grandpa: Star, what are you doing here? And with him no doubt. (Grandpa narrows his eyes.)
Star: Hello gramps!
Tucker: Nice to meet you sir. This is about as pleasant as being stabbed in the eyes with needles.
Grandpa: Speak up girl, I'm not hard of hearing, what are you doing here with the Foley boy?
Tucker: For your information, and not that it's any of your concern-
Star: Tucker Foley is my date for the entire day!
Grandpa: What?
Tucker: What? (Kwan & Valerie walk by.)
Kwan: It's about time.
Valerie: Cough up the 5 bucks.
Kwan: Oh, right.
Grandpa: Please tell me that this is some sort of sick joke, Star. That nice Dash kid is a far superior choice than this boy.
Tucker: I wouldn't mind the blatant hostility so much if you didn't emphasize on the word 'boy' like that.
Star: Don't be stupid Grandpa, I tried dating Dash before & you saw how it turned out!
Grandpa: But that doesn't mean you can't try it again! Look at him, he's rich, athletic, popular, whi-oh you get the picture!
Tucker: No I don't. Please enlighten me.
Star: Go on, Grandpa, say it. Finish that sentence.
Grandpa: I don't have to stand here and explain myself.
Star: You want me to date Dash because he's WHITE!
Grandpa: Keep your voice down! And can you blame me, you know he and his race have a certain 'rep; if you catch my drift.
Dani: Why that wrinkled, bigoted, bloated, sorry sack of-I've had it! (Dani gets up, fists ready, but she is restrained by Maddie.)
Maddie: Cool your jets dear. This requires an adult approach. Ok's clobberin' time!
Lancer: No, wait, Mrs. Fenton! You can't...not until after I get through with him! It's about time someone gave that uncouth bag of bones the verbal lashing he so deserves!
Emily: We have a saying in England...sod this, let's kill the wanker!

(The three adults rise to make their way towards the trio.)

Dani: Hey wait a second, it's Danny's dad!
Maddie: Jack?

(Back at Vlad's mansion, Danny looks on as York stands ready.)

York: Come at me from any angle you want to Vlad, I'm ready.
Vlad: Be careful what you say, old buddy.

(Four clones of Vlad all emerge besides him, fists glowing. York assumes a cat stance & stares down all the clones.)

York: Ready.

(The first two run forward, then begin attacking from the left & right. Without missing a beat, York intercepts the incoming right cross with a high block, then connects with a sudden side thrust kick to the face of the second attacker. The first attacker gets an elbow to the ribs for his troubles before York spins on his right heel & demolishes the both of them with a powerful spinning back fist, which plants the both of them into a wall.)

York: Danny, remember, know when & how to release your energy in a fight. Use just the right amount for the appropriate situation & you'll be fine. Now watch this one.

(In a flash, York makes his way across the room towards Vlad & the remaining clones. The clones make their move to intercept, but are unprepared for the initial assaults. York ducks low from a hook from the first clone, immediately countering with a straight punch to the chest before the next fist collides with his face, sending the clone down. The next clone is taken out with a spinning back heel kick to, which is quickly followed by a front snap kick to the midsection before finding a left hook to the face ending it's struggle.)

Danny: Uh, the word I think I need to utter is 'wow;
York: I would go with 'damn'.
Vlad: Sorry to interrupt your pointless banter, but I think it's time I conclude this pointless battle. (Charges up his ecto energy) I've been saving this one move for Danny but...

(Before Vlad finishes, York acts & in a blur, buries an elbow into Vlad's gut before flooring him with a haymaker.)

York: Danny already did this bit, no copying! (Vlad reverts to human form.)
Danny: Look, as much as I want to see you pummeled, this is getting us nowhere! Give us the blueprints already. The badass fighting can't go on forever.
Vlad: Very well, I know when I'm beat. (Vlad tosses Danny the keys to the vault.) And make sure that the blueprints are the only thing you remove.
Danny: That was pretty impressive what you did there.
York: Truthfully, I have to tell the both of you that I was holding back.
Vlad: You were holding back?! Should we ask just how much you were holding back?

(York punches a nearby wall lightly. It explodes.)

York: No.
Vlad: Point made. And you kicked me in the head pretty hard.
Danny: If you ever get a family of your own, you'll know just how much they mean to you. Dani deserves a chance at a family and if you can mellow out, you might actually be able to find one of your own some day too. (Danny goes intangible & flies through the floor.)
York: The kid's right. This bitter hatred & jealousy you harbor, it's caused you enough pain. People still haven't forgotten about what almost happened with the asteroid, I know, but can you blame them? You tried to humiliate Jack & it backfired on almost all of us. Let it go.
Vlad: Easy for you to say. The man's as sharp as a wooden block & he has ways of making situations extraordinarily worse.
York: I won't dispute that. But he's a loyal friend no matter what & he believes in us. He's willing to put it all on the line to protect those close to him. And he made an admirable effort to reach out to me.
Vlad: How?
York: Rubik's cube.
Vlad: That will do it! But tell me, how do you know I won't betray your trust again?
York: Oh that's real simple. See, if you choose to go after Dani or Jack at any time, you'll find that they are under constant protection. It helps to have a binding contract with a variety of familiars at times. And while the public believes you sabotaged the shuttles controls in a effort to humiliate Jack and caused the near apocalyptic crisis with the asteroid, they don't know you are Vlad Plasmius, with the exception of us & possibly a certain agency in the government. Imagine how much trouble you'll be in when that is revealed.
Vlad: You truly take everything into account.
York: There is one other thing I can do to you...but I don't think I need to go that far, will I?

(Back at the park, Jack confronts Tucker, Star & her Grandpa.)

Tucker: Mr. Fenton?
Star: Oh great, I was hoping for a meltdown!
Jack: Hey there Tucker! I'm just taking a break from the daily grind, don't mind me! I'm not interrupting anything am I?
Tucker: Oh, well...
Grandpa: I was just about to escort my granddaughter home, thank you very much.
Starr: Actually, Tucker & I were in the middle of our date before the two of you came around.
Jack: Date? You two? FINALLY!!! Though I suppose this means I owe Maddie $50 now.
Grandpa: Hold on, young lady...
Jack: I'm so proud of you Tucker, finally working the nerve to be with a girl instead of wasting time coming up with insane pointless schemes to make you more desirable.
Star: Yeah, really. 'Foley' cologne could have doubled for a WMD.
Jack: Anyway, here's $75. Take your lady friend here on a proper date. I was saving it for a stockpile of emergency fudge, but this is more important.
Star: Wow, really?
Jack: And think of it as my way of apologizing for making 3 of your birthdays a horrifying nightmare of embarrassment.
Grandpa: hold on now, if you think for a minute that I'll let my granddaughter go out with that-
Jack: I suggest you two get to the movie theater immediately, the nachos will only be half off for another 2 hours.
Tucker: Sure!
Star: Thanks, Mr. Fenton! C'mon, we're seeing 'Fists of the Maidens'!
Tucker: A movie that merges beautiful women & wanton martial arts violence! Cool!

(Tucker & Star run for it, hand in hand.)

Grandpa: How DARE you! Do you have any idea of what you've done, you idiot? What gives you the right to-(Grandpa is gruffly grabbed by the collar of his jacket.)
Jack: That's enough out of you! I know who you are pal & you make me sick. The only reason I didn't do this was because I didn't want Tucker to see me in this state of mind! Tucker Foley is a fine young man who's always looked out for my son! And if Star's chosen to be with him, that's her decision and hers alone, so racist morons like yourself need to learn not to stick their nose in it!
Grandpa: Moron? Racist? I'm only fighting to free this nation of ours from a sickness that's eating it from the inside out! I'm a PATRIOT!
Jack: In my book, anyone who does what you do betrays the very principles I swear allegiance to! You're not the first Nazi whose ass I kicked, so take note; leave Tucker & Star alone or else!

(Jack tosses him to the ground & swiftly gives him a kick in the ass. Grandpa scurries off.)

Jack: How did Steve Rogers ever put up with those guys anyway? (Jack is embraced by Maddie.) Hey baby!
Maddie: Oh Jack, that was so wonderful of you!
Jack: Do you mean the thrashing or the part with the $75?
Maddie: All of it, you big lug!
Lancer: A bit brutish, but well played Mr. Fenton.
Emily: I must say it was an amazing turn of events, you arriving just in the nick of time to head off that rogue.
Jack: Truth be told, I was kind of spying on Tucker from behind that tree over there. I recognized that guy & decided to do some Fenton Damage Control.
Dani: So, would anyone mind if I put this on YouTube. (Dani holds up a cell phone with a camera.)

(Later, back at the mansion of York...)

Sam: 2000 YEARS OLD?!
Danny: Give or take a decade. I'm not too sure.
York: And my home was somewhere in England's north regions, so understand news about the state of affairs in Europe was a bit slow...
Ember: Like it would be possible to ignore the Roman Empire.
York: Those guys, man, don't remind me...
Sam: How come you didn't tell us? I mean you had access to his memory orb?
Ember: It's not like it's easy to keep track of 2000 years worth of memories. Something like that takes time to process. And I still don't see how you could be the last of your kind
York: Like I said, the details are a bit complicated. I still think there are others like me, so there's always that hope. Anyway, Danny, it's time we get that mid-morph DNA.
Danny: Aren't you going to build the clone machine?
York: Don't need to. I only needed to read the machine & get the basic information on how he created the clones; I deduced that a sample of the mid morph DNA, combined with a unique serum, should do the job. Fortunately, your dad's previously abandoned experimental Ecto-Dejecto will more than suffice.
Danny: Once again, my dad saves the day. I wonder if we'll get any more surprises.
Ember: Show them.
Sam: Delighted.

(Sam snaps her fingers. Several small, purple colored spirits, in the shape of dragons, appear in the room at her side.)

Sam: Guess who learned how to summon?
Danny: Wow, wicked.
York: This generation is more interesting than I thought.

(A few days later, at Amity High School.)

Dani: I am so not ready for this!
York: Relax its high school. It's daunting but the feeling will pass. Just one thing...
Dani: I know, I know, just because I'm cured doesn't mean that I can abuse my powers & pull any pranks on Dash or Paulina, no matter how much Dash may deserve it.
York: Oh, don't be glum. All things considered, it could have been much worse.
Dani: Whatever...say, there's something I want to ask you.
York: The adoption business. You want to know why I volunteered to be your foster father.
Dani: Quick & to the point.
York: It was Jack's idea. I thought that since you & Danny are practically family, it would be best if you were raised by the Fentons. But Jack insisted I take care of you, since it's about time I 'settled down' & learn to raise a family of my own, give us both a chance to start a new journey. Besides, someone has to keep those impulses of yours in check & the Fentons don't make enough to feed your stomach.
Dani: I'm a growing girl, I can't help it.
York: I wonder...well, at least I have someone to train with on the off days. Well, a new day awaits us. Before we start though can you do me a favor...and BREAK THAT UP?!

(York points to Tucker & Star, who are passionately kissing by the steps.)

Danny: Whoa. And in public no doubt.
Valerie: I told you we could pull it off.
Paulina: Need Chap Stick?


Once again, it's time for a very special edition of Happy Funtime Filler Theater!!!

Dani: Hey there folks! Sorry we took so long with this edition! We lost the original disc this story was on, and from there everything went to Hell...and don't get us started on the Series Finale.
Me: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Why must the good die young? Why can't something else that deserves to be ended go, like Mind of Mencia or Saul of The Mole Men or InuYasha? And I don't mean the anime, I mean the manga! END IT ALREADY, TAKAHASHI-SAN!!!
Dani: Today, a special guest is dropping by: Katara of the Water Tribe. (Katara walks in.)
Me: Hey, what are you doing here today?
Katara: Well, this story is anime inspired, just like my series, so Dani asked me to drop on in. Usually, this is where you mention a manga title you own.
Dani: Today, we're gonna list what some of the cast read. Here folks are the listings of manga some of your favorite maniacs read.

Danny- Dragon Ball Z, Bleach, Eyeshield 21, Elemental Gelade
Dani- Naruto, Hunter X Hunter, Yu Yu Hakusho, Beet the Vandal Buster, Trigun, Samurai Champloo
Sam- Shaman King, Death Note, D. Gray Man, Blood+, Slayers, Love Hina.
Ember- Bleach, Shaman King, Lupin the 3rd, Fist of the North Star, Negima, GTO, Ranma 1/2, Crno Crusade
Prof. York- KochiKame, Rurouni Kenshin, Peacemaker, Ghost in the Shell, Yu-Gi-Oh, Battle Royal, Hoshi Engi

Dani: What's Fist of the North Star?
Katara: A manga & anime series known for it's over the top violent attacks, as Tootie & Box Ghost will show.
B. Ghost: Wait...
Tootie: WATAAAAAA!!!!!! (Tootie pummels Box Ghost with a barrage of fists all over his body, then stops & points.) Your head will explode in 5 seconds.
B. Ghost: Good thing I'm dead already. (5 seconds later, his head blows up.)
Katara: So, word on the street is you'll be attending AnimeNEXT again this year.
Me: Yup, 4th of July weekend! I'll just be wearing the Naruto headband though, Anita's the resident cosplayer.
Anita: I'll be Link again!
Danny: I'll pay you to dress as me!
Me: It's weird, though, seeing people dress up as Nicktoons at anime conventions. Especially the Avatar ones.
Katara: I know, and the there's what we saw before.

(Earlier that year.)

Katara: Um...
Anita: Yes that is a man, and yes he is dressed as Faye and yes the one next to him dressed as Kasumi is also a man.
DarkDP: That is not right.
Me: GOD, MY EYES!!!! (I blindfold myself.)
Katara: He's a bit emotional for this.
DarkDP: I made two yaoi pictures & he responded by self destructing himself, along with the aircraft carrier he was in. This is normal.
Random Fan 1: Hey look, it's Katara! DON'T BE A FOOL KATARA, GO FOR PRINCE ZUKO!!
Random Fan 2: ZUTARA FOREVER!!!!
Katara: Uh, usually I wouldn't ask but...
Me: Way ahead of you. (Pulls out his zanpakuto.)


In the next chapter, the events of what happened between Danny, Ember & Sam prior to York's arrival will be revealed. An old enemy resurfaces to terrorize the Ghost Zone, and it's someone Danny never wanted to face again. When the battle is over, someone will die & Danny will never be the same...

Theme Songs for 'Why Can't We Be Friends?'

'Why Can't We Be Friends'- WAR
'Good Morning Mr. 3 Cats' - Guitar Vader
'Metal Scratchin'- Hideki Naganuma (From the 'Sonic Rush' soundtrack)
'Kyoufu no Ginyuu Tokuusentai'- Background music from Dragon Ball Z
'Route 66'- Guitar Wolf

Sign up to rate and review this story