Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Learning to Love Again

Chapter 9 - Don't Have To Prove That You Are So Strong

by whatkatydid 13 reviews

The repurcussions of Shay's actions start having an effect...

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Warnings: [!!!] - Published: 2007-05-08 - Updated: 2007-05-08 - 2919 words

Chapter 9 - Don't Have To Prove That You Are So Strong

Stirring from a heavy, deep sleep, Shay opened her eyes and immediately recognised the pain in her stomach; her hand went to it and touched slightly. As her peripheral vision came back, she saw him seated by her bed, his eyes wide open, staring at her.

She noted the distance and she justified it completely, she wouldn't question his bitterness towards her.

Shay closed her eyes and tried to sit up slightly.

"You wanna tell me what the f* is going on?" he asked. As prepared as she was for the backlash, she never expected that cold tone in his voice, he was no longer her husband, he was a stranger to her and she clammed up hard.

"Do you know what you've put us through??" he growled quietly, pushing both his fists into the pillow on each side of her head. Her green eyes glazed over as she saw and felt his anger.

"If you wanted my attention, you just had to ask for it but you do this?! This??!" he said gesturing to her hospital bed. Her mouth opened to speak but she couldn't get out the words.

"What about your children? Did you think about that?! They saw everything, they were petrified!!" He cried, tears coming. Shay's hand went to her mouth shakily, she physically couldn't speak, the words wouldn't vocalise.

"We're gonna have all sorts of people snooping around now, invading our lives, just because you thought the only way to deal with a few marriage problems was to take a fucking overdose in front of your own god damn children!!!" he yelled.

A nurse rushed in and stopped as she saw Patrick towering over Shay in her hospital bed.

"I can't even look at you right now." He said coldly, before turning and walking out the room. The nurse rushed over to Shay who was shaking and checked her over, speaking softly to her to calm her down.


"Is Mommy sick?" Aimee asked as Patrick pressed the button's on the microwave to warm up Natalie's milk.

"Yeah....Yeah Mommy's sick and she needs to stay in the hospital until she's better." He said softly.

Rory's big green eyes followed Patrick relentlessly in silence as he attended to the small girls, he hadn't spoken since Patrick got in a few hours ago.

Eventually settling the two youngsters down he took the time to sort out his son.

"Come on..." Patrick said gently, offering Rory a spot on his lap on the sofa.

"How you doing?" Patrick asked softly, looking at his sad face.

"I'm OK. When will Mom be home?" he asked. Patrick took a deep sigh.

"When she's absolutely better." Patrick said with a little smile.

Rory nodded bravely but he lifted his small hands to face and began weeping.

"Hey! Heyyyy!" Patrick soothed him.

"I miss Mom!!" He wept.

"I know....I know, but she'll be home soon! I promise! She just needs some rest." He whispered, he pulled his son close to him and held him so tight, tighter than he'd ever done before, primarily to comfort him in his time of deep need, but also, to hide the tears that crept down Patrick's cheeks as he held him gently. Wishing that none of this would have happened.


The crying had made her breathing staggered and she wiped her eyes again. She lay on her side in the hospital bed, her mind on overdrive as the events whipped the insides of her head and lashed her thoughts.

He came in quietly but sat down quickly by her bed and she stared at him. Seeing him only made her cry more and he rushed up and pulled her up into his arms and held her tightly.

"Shhh....I'm here ....I'm here now." He whispered.

"Pete...." Was all she managed to squeak out of her worn out throat.

Their lips pressed hard, the exact tone of urgency and desperation coming out as their lips squeezed hard against each others over and over.

"Shay." He said, inbetween kisses.

"Shay!" he said firmly, she snatched a final kiss.

"Stop this." He whispered,

"I need you." she whispered back, he felt so sad inside, there was no-one in this world he wanted more than her. No-one.

Her lips caressed under his jaw and her desperateness saddened him further. He held her hands firmly and pulled her from him.

"You need me more now because Patrick is pushing you away, not because you need me." He said, shaking his head.

"No." she said, shaking her head quickly.

"No, I do...It's you Pete." She said firmly.

"No it's not, it's Patrick and it's your children Shay!" he said, a little angry she needed him so badly.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this; you need some time to sort your head out." He said, she gripped his arm.

"Pete don't leave me!" she cried gently.

"I'm not the one who should be here with you." he said sadly and kissed her head gently before leaving her alone.

"I don't understand Patrick, when I was at the worst place in my life, you were there for me without question, why can't you do the same for your own wife??" he asked angrily, Patrick walked away from him into the other room.

"It's not the same Pete!" he snapped.

"I know it's not the same, but the need for you to be there is the same, she needs you right now and that very fact you pushed her away is making this twice as hard for her!"

"Hard for her??! Her?!! She tried to kill herself and leave us all here to pick up the pieces! I can't even stand to look at her right now, I'm so angry!" he growled.

"Angry? You weren't angry with me."

"Of course I was angry with you!!" he shouted.

"Then why were you there for me in every way possible, when I really needed a friend, when I just needed someone to be there..." he said, Patrick's teeth were tightly clenched together.

Patrick leaned on his dining table and took a long deep breath, Pete observed patiently.

"Go to the hospital...and help her Patrick."

"Why do I always have to pick up the pieces?" he asked in a whisper like tone.

"Because that's what the good guy does." Pete said, blinking away tears.

Patrick left for the hospital and Pete sat in their living room. He felt a little numb from the past few days.

He heard Natalie stirring and he made his way to her room. She lay in her cot, staring up at him with her big green eyes. Shay's eyes.

"Juice." She said, clambering her way up the cot rails.

Pete picked her up and settled her on his slim hips.

"Da?" She asked for Patrick.

"He'll be home soon, Uncle Pete's here.." he said softly to her.

He got her some juice and went to the living room and sat down, he pushed her dark hair from her face and smiled slightly.

"Did you get the swabs?" Pete asked quietly, Shay nodded and she moved towards him. She took out the containers from her hand bag and Pete sat on his bed.

Shay carefully took out the cotton swab and knelt down before Pete, gently putting the swab into his mouth and twirling it as she was instructed. She put it back into it's container and then opened the second one, he was quiet as she softly did it again and her green eyes looked right into his this time.

"That's it." She whispered, putting the second swab into it's container.

"How long do the results take?" he asked,

"6 weeks." She replied.

It was the longest 6 weeks of their lives. Shay's fingers shook as she removed her key's from the ignition and made her way into the clinic to get the results.

The lady politely handed over the brown envelope and as Shay got in the car she tore it open and pulled out the letter. She gasped and her hand clamped over her mouth to stifle her sound.

After conclusive DNA investigations, we can categorically confirm that Peter Wentz is the father of Natalie Stump.

Pete tapped quickly at the door and Shay let him in.

"So??" he asked immediately. Shay stared up at him and Pete stared back.

"Patrick's the father." She lied.

Pete's hands covered his face and he leaned against the door way.

"Oh thank god..." he sighed.

Pete looked at her delicate features as she lay across his lap.

Pete recognized then the need for children, as he watched her sleep effortlessly in his arms, he admired her dependence upon him while her parents were gone, her beauty, her character and the joy she brought to her parents lives.

His rough fingers, grazed against her silky skin.

"You are beautiful...." He whispered.

"Just like your mommy." He finished.

Sue walked down the long hallway. Her mind was racing with questions and self doubts. She couldn't believe the phone call she had received from Patrick earlier that day. Shay had attempted suicide.

Did she push her too hard? Did she give Shay a reason to think that the only way out was to end her life? Did she give Shay a reason that she was judging her and that she couldn't talk to her? What went wrong?

Sue talked with the hospital psych staff and they agreed that it would be best for her to come in and talk to Shay herself being that they were already working together. It had been a long time since one of her client's had attempted suicide. It made her feel like a failure as a therapist.

She found the number to Shay's room and stood outside for a moment. She went through her action plan in her mind. She stared at the door and took a deep breath before reaching for the handle and opening the door.

She saw Shay lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. Shay didn't even bother looking up to see who had walked into her room. Sue sighed and sat down on the chair crossing her legs waiting for Shay to acknowledge her.

Shay just sighed in return and kept her eyes focused on the ceiling.

"How are you feeling?" Sue asked quietly.

The room was silent except for some beeps coming from machines in and around Shay's room. Sue just sat there and waited.

"I want to die," Shay said quietly.

"You do? You think the only option is to leave everything and everyone? Your life, your husband, your /children/?" Sue asked emphasizing children.

It was imperative that Shay understand the finality of her decisions.

Shay broke down into tears and closed her eyes.

"I don't think that's what you want, Shay," Sue said leaning forward.

"I don't know what else to do," Shay cried.

"Well, for starters you could have come to me. You could have talked to me about your feelings of desperation," Sue said with passion.

Shay just shook her head no as she cried.

"Why? Why couldn't you have talked to me?" Sue asked.

"Because I deserve to die. I want to die," she cried some more.

"Shay, I know you think that death is the only option here, but it's not. Think of everything you will be leaving behind. Think of your family," Sue said calmly.

"They deserve better than me," Shay cried and turned over on her side.

"What makes you say that? Because you made a mistake? Shay, everyone makes mistakes," Sue said leaning forward wishing Shay would look at her.

Shay just kept her back to Sue and didn't respond. Sue knew she was losing this battle. She could tell by Shay's body language.

"You know what I think? I think that you did this as a cry for help. I think that you are feeling like you have dug yourself such a deep hole that you need help to get out of it, and you did this as a desperate act to get help out of it," Sue said leaning back in her chair hoping to get a reaction out of Shay.

"You don't know anything about my problems or the hole that I have dug for myself. There is no saving me," Shay mumbled.

"Alright, Shay. You want to give up? Go ahead. But what about your children? Forget everybody and everything else. What about them? Do you think their life will be better with out their mother?" Sue challenged.

Shay stiffened up and turned slightly and finally looked Sue in the eyes.

"I love them," she whispered.

"I know you do. And they love you, Shay. Nothing is going to stop them from loving you," Sue said putting a hand on Shay's arm.

The human contact caused Shay to breakdown crying.

"What am I supposed to do?" she cried.

"You need to tell the truth. The truth is the only thing that is going to set you free from all of this burden that you are carrying around," Sue said empathetically.

"I'm going to lose everything if I tell the truth," Shay cried.

"You don't know that. I'll admit, change will occur, but it isn't going to be as permanent as the change you were willing to do when you tried to take your life," Sue said in a soothing voice.

Shay just cried and nodded. There was nothing more to say or do except for acknowledge the truth.


Patrick lurked by the door, watching her sleep. The woman who lay in the bed was not the woman he married. He could not fathom how she had become such a weaker version of herself, what had happened within their marriage that changed her. Was it him who had taken that strength away, bit by bit, maybe every time he left her and the children, it reduced her character until she was only a shadow of the young woman he met that day in the street.

Without question and resentment she had always fully supported him and his career. Shay remained the reason why Patrick would yearn to come home and the children they'd had the fortune of raising together ensured that when it all got too much, he felt human again.

He walked closer to the bed and sat down next to her, if it wasn't for the fact her chest moved in shallow breaths, he would have thought she was dead. Her eyes looked sunken and her skin had nothing to offer but a grey, clammy complexion. He put both his hands over his mouth and nose and cried.

It was some time later after Patrick came to her that she noticed he was there. His head rested by her hip on the bed, he had a sleepy frown on his forehead. As softly as she could, she raised her hand and let her fingertips glaze the soft hair on his forehead. He stirred immediately, startling her and she jumped. He stared hard at her and she tried to sit up slightly, backing up away from him on the bed. Patrick saw how her hands trembled and her eyes were totally unsure.

He stood up and walked to the window, it was different thinking about her while her sorrowful eyes were on him.

"Why Shay?" he asked.

She wouldn't respond, her willingness to talk about what lead her to the attempt on her life was so devastating, his heart would implode with the hurt. He walked towards her and she tensed up, bracing herself for his wrath.

"How am I meant to help you if you don't tell me what's going on?" he asked, a lot calmer than she thought he would. Shay just cried, he gripped her face firmly and made her look at him.

"How do I know that you won't do this again and next time, it'll be too late?" he asked.

"God, Shay...What was so bad in your life?" he asked, frustrated.

"I've tried to give you everything, I've given up so much for you-"

"-You gave up nothing for us!" she said suddenly.

"I gave up more than you think." He said, pointing to her as he walked away again.

"Well it wasn't enough!" she cried.

"What are you talking about?" he frowned.

"Nothing." She muttered and slid back down her bed.

"No, I need to know, what wasn't enough?" he asked, coming towards her.

"Patrick - please..." she asked,

"Well maybe when you get your head straight, then we can talk....." he said angrily.

He walked out the room, not even saying goodbye. He left her. Alone.

Shay closed her eyes tight, hoping she would just sleep; she was heavily sedated so it didn't take long at all. It was then he came back and stood at the door again. He couldn't bring himself to leave, although she acutely angered him, he couldn't leave her.

Someone had to be here to rescue her when she was ready to be saved, and he was pretty sure it was him that had to do that. Because that's what the good guy does.

Sorry this one took longer, we've been a little busy with ....stuff....(CeCe correct me if this is the wrong term to , Cinco De Mayo! Si! Si!)

Anyway, you know we love to read your reviews. I would love for us to get to 100 reviews after this chapter!

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