Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Apologies, Glances and Messed Up Chances.

I've A Got a Bad Feeling about This

by sillyperson 3 reviews

There it was in the palm of my hand. This tiny white thing couldn't really do that much damage? could it? please review

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: G - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Warnings: [!] [!!] [!!!] [X] - Published: 2007-05-10 - Updated: 2007-05-10 - 1208 words

Brendon's POV

I stared up at the ceiling, my mind re-running the events that had happened, over and over again in my head.

"You've done the right thing." I muttered while clenching my fist. I couldn't hide up in my room all day, I had to face her matter how awkward it would be. I turned over onto my side in frustration. I sighed deeply and shoved my hand into my pocket. I pulled out my wallet and poured the contents of it onto my bed. There it was wrapped in a tiny bag...that pill I'd been given after a show a few weeks ago. I didn't want to take it, but I was desperate, I really couldn't see any other way. I pulled it out and stared at it as my breathing quickened with anxiety.

I hastily stood up and paced the floor, "What the fuck are you doing Brendon? This isn't you, you don't do drugs." I muttered while stopping in front of the mirror. I stared at my pale complexion. I had everything I ever dreamed of; the designer skinny jeans and the red Clandestine hoody reminded me of this. If I took this pill it would just prove how selfish I am. I opened my hand and picked it up.

"Brendon?" I heard Ryan call as he knocked loudly on the door.

"Shit." I muttered while shoving the pill back in my pocket.

"Brendon?" He called again.

"'s open." I stuttered while putting everything back into wallet.

"Dude the party started ages ago, why aren't you down there?" He asked while entering the room.

"I had some things to do." I said while facing him. "Anyway you're not down there."

"I was the others were getting worried about you." He said seriously. There was an eerie silence. "Elspeth was getting worried." He added while letting a small smile leak from his lips.

"Oh." I said simply while combing my hair in the mirror.

"Is there something up between you guys? Ever since this morning you've been acting weird around her. You didn't breathe a word to her at lunch." Ryan asked curiously while sitting down on the bed.

"Everything's fine. It has been for the last two months why wouldn't anything change now?"

"I dunno...I care that's all." Ryan sighed while following me out of my hotel room.

"Well don't its a lot easier that way." I moaned while slamming the door shut.


I leant up against the wall with my drink in my hand; I looked around, my eyes glancing through the crowds of people. Her eyes linked with mine and I swiftly looked away. I noticed her walk over. Shit.

"Brendon we need to talk." She said seriously with a quiver in her voice.

"We do." I sighed while scratching the back of my head. She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand and pulled me into the elevator.

"Where are we going?" I asked while letting go of her hand.

"To talk," She sighed while leaning on the wall.

"Why don't we just talk here?" I asked nervously.

"I dunno...people get in and out of elevators?" She smirked.

"Oh yeah," I laughed feeling really stupid. I bit my bottom lip and waited for the doors to open; we got out and went to my room.

I sat down on the bed about two inches away from Elspeth; I sighed and entwined my fingers together.

"So..." I sighed trying to unearth some conversation.

"Brendon...I'm sorry about before." She said while glancing into my eyes.

"Why are you sorry? I kissed you...believe me I'm paying for it now." I said honestly. I noticed her lips shake, something wanted to be let out.

"Look it doesn't matter can we just go back to the love hate relationship we had before?" I asked sadly.

"You don't really sound like you want that?" She asked curiously while shuffling closer to me.

"Sometimes it's better to put others before your self, it kinda balances everything." I smiled.

"Oh okay...but is there something you're not telling me?" She asked while staring into my eyes.

"It's really better if you didn't know." I said seriously. She smirked and pushed me over onto the bed and pinned me down by lying on top of me. I could fell my pants getting tighter so I thought of Ryan naked and the feeling soon went away.

"Now you HAVE to tell me." She smirked.

"Well get comfy cuz your gonna be in that position for a while." I smirked back. She rolled her eyes and sighed playfully. I had to get mind my mind off this. I had the girl of my dreams pinning me down by my lap, her lips inches away from mine, reluctant to go anywhere. She knew what she was doing she licked her lips seductively.

"Stop it." I moaned while closing my eyes.

"Look open those little brown eyes and tell me anyway I don't care if you get a hard-on it's only embarrassing for you...and I'm not going to tell anyone, that would be mean." She said kindly.

"Look you're a girl and you don't know how bad it is for that to happen." I sighed while not opening my eyes.

"Open your eyes Brendon." She said happily. I sighed with frustration and opened my eyes and they instantly locked with hers. She smiled sweetly at me and I couldn't deny it anymore.

"I love you." I said meaningfully. She bit her bottom lip and I knew she didn't love me but at least things would be easier this way...or at least it seemed like that in my head. She lowered her eyebrows and placed her hands on my chest.

"I wish I could say the same Brendon, but it wouldn't be fair on you or Pete. I'm sorry." She said while letting her eyelids form a tear or two. She knelt in and placed a kiss on my lips like this morning. She got off me and left the room. I sighed and closed my eyes shut. Why? Why did I have to tell her that? Things are not better this way I've been trying to bury my feelings for the last six months and now I've gone and bought them back up again, great job Brendon. I stood up and stared yet again at my figure. My heart had been stolen and I couldn't seem to grasp it back. Everything reminded me of my actions, I just wanted her I've give everything for her, she's the one. I let the tears run down my cheek as I pulled the pill out of my pocket. I stared at the little white thing. It looked so powerless and small, maybe it wasn't all its cracked up to be? I scowled and shoved into my mouth. It swallowed the contents of my thoughts; this place I had found myself in seemed to have a brighter lining. I got up, weighed down by my broken heart. I left the apartment two quarters and a heart down, and under the influence of hatred.

erm yean chap or no next chaP?? please review to find out hehe.
Sign up to rate and review this story