FicWad

AN;thank yous&icecream to every lovely person who gave reviews or sent me email. thank you ver much^__^ the lyrics are from Alkaline Trio's song called 'Burn'.
Read&enjoy&review?


Gerard sat on the bed of his quite small room listening to music from his iPod and watching out of the stained window that blocked the voices of the city and the raindrops from getting in. He looked at the sky and followed the pathetic little rain with his glance.
Usually he loved rain and rainy days. It's ability to freshen the air, to wash the dirt from cars, streets, from people, had always fascinated him. This rain just annoyed him. It was big enough to notice but it didn't change anything. It didn't make a point. Even the women who protected their precious hair the most didn't open their umbrellas or hold their magazines over their heads.
Gerard sighed and pushed the 'shuffle' button. He wanted to hear some aggressive, beating music that he could dive into and completely forget the world around him. He wanted to surround himself with voices. What the voices were was indifferent to him, he just wanted to hear.
When Gerard listened to music, he let it take him over. He let if fill him, feed his feelings, heel his wounds. Lately Gerard had noticed he had more wounds that he had let anybody, including himself, see. He had felt them grow, but he had also just covered them, hid them. Now when he was completely alone, away from the people he had hid his wound from, they itched harder than ever.
Gerard trailed his hand through his hair. He hated this uncomfortable feeling. To his surprise he heard a song from his earphones he hadn't heard in a while. The beginning of Alkaline Trios song stopped his thoughts. When the singer started the lyrics Gerard stared at the little black gadget in disbelief.
... There's a forest fire burning bright
Spreading quickly towards our last rights
Nowhere to run, pointless to hide
Just lay there and scream, pretending to try
Pretending

Intending to burn, pretending to fight it
Everyone learns faster on fire
Things took a turn, lost all desire
You live and you burn
You live and you burn

This impending doom is left deep inside
And it's haunting you each and every night
Light starving wolves, drowning sheep
We close our eyes, pretending to sleep
Descending

Intending to burn, pretending to fight it
Everyone learns faster on fire
Things took a turn, lost all desire...

Gerard snapped the headphones off his ears and panted a little. The words were stabbing, and he got the perfect example of what their fans were always saying about the touching lyrics.
Fuck, he thought. "I need to get out of here," he said out loud to no one, and yet to himself. "I need a.."


Emily enjoyed the sight of cars in the rain and hummed silently to a song she didn't recognise, that was played on the radio. The elevator few meters away from her made a beeping sound. She watched as the doors slid apart revealing rather muddled looking Gerard. Emily smiled to herself and then turned back to look out of the window.
She could hear Gerard's footsteps and then how there was no sound anymore. She noticed how amazing presence this man had, she felt on her skin that he was there. For some reason she didn't want to look at him. He was very attractive, there was no question about it, but there was also something about this man that made Emily alert.
"What are you looking at?" Emily looked at smiling Gerard surprised by his question. She hesitated and Gerard noticed it immediately.
" You can tell me," he said and kept smiling. Emily thought that he looked little nervous and wondered why he wasn't wearing a jacket but hold a little bag in his hand. A little weird armour for a walk in the rain.
"No, I was just lost in thought I guess," she said. "Can I help you with something? You need like guidance or what?" Gerard kept smiling that same nervous smile.
"Actually I think I need a shower."
It took a moment for his words to sink in. Emily gazed him for few second and then she felt her face turn to a smirk.
"OH," she said while trying to figure out why was she smirking like an idiot and why she had a hard time trying to figure out what to say next.
"Okay, umm. Well, go hold the elevator, I'll be with you in a blink," she said. Then she kneeled behind the counter to grab her key and to catch her breath again.

When Gerard stood next to Emily in the elevator, he noticed that she was exactly the same height as he was. Emily leaned to the elevators wall and constantly brushed her bangs off her eyes. Gerard felt easy with this woman. It surprised him really, 'cause he hadn't felt easy with any woman in a long time.
They got to the same floor Gerard had earlier rushed from, but instead of turning to left corridor, Emily went right and Gerard followed.
She opened one of the doors, stepped in and kept it open for Gerard. What ever he had thought her room would be like were all wrong. It was crystal clear that Emily was an artist.
All kinds of pictures, paintings, ripped pages of magazines and drawings covered the white walls. There were piles of clothes, pens, sharpies, cans of paint and books on the floor. It was very messy room but at the same time it welcomed you in. It almost screamed that it was alive.
Gerard walked closer to the wall and looked at the drawings. They were good. Unusual, different and something that half of the viewers hate. The second half gets really interested, and Gerard was definitely in that half.
"So you're an artist? " Right after saying it Gerard felt stupid for stating the obvious. Emily smiled lopsidedly.
"I hate that question. If I say no, I'm lying. If I say yes, I feel like I'm bragging." Gerard stared at her and made a mental note to himself that this woman had just said what he always felt at the same situation.
"Well, I know a lot of people who brag with less talent than yours, " Gerard said, looking at a dark drawing of a sinking city. Emily raised her eyebrow. "You're an artist too?" Gerard ripped his eyes of the drawing and smiled at her. "Kinda yeah, but I hate that question."
Emily chuckled. She didn't let people see her work on every day basis, so she was secretly very pleased by Gerard's words.
"Come on," she said and gestured him to follow. She took him to the bathroom and pulled the shower curtain aside. "You can use any of my stuff, I get shitloads of free shampoo, so, " Emily said, smiled at Gerard who stood awkwardly and held his bag of clothes to his chest like a treasure, walked out and shut the door.
This is actually bit crazy, Gerard thought as he was undressed and getting his skin on goosebumps under the warm pouring water. I'm standing on some chicks shower and she could be some wacko for what I know, she could come through that door whit a knife or something, little voice in his head said and continued; Just wait till Brian finds out. But somehow Gerard knew that Emily wasn't a wacko.

Gerard tried to shower as fast as it was possible for him when he still wanted to wash all pain, agony and misery away. Then he dressed quickly to black from toe to head and got out of Emily's bathroom still drying his hair. Emily sat on her wide bed near the window and stared down to the street. She didn't look up or move, so Gerard walked closer to her. He didn't dare to sit to her bed, (after all it was her bed, random male-visitors at your working place don't just jump to sit on your bed, right?) so he stood looking at her first and then to the street she was staring. Usual late-afternoons traffic jam was going on.
"Okay, now you have to tell me what you're looking at."
Emily looked up and smiled peacefully. "Well it's silly really."
"I don't mind," Gerard said and smiled a little. Emily looked at the wet-haired man next to her trying to decide whether to tell him or not.
"Well," she started, " All those cars have people in them. And everyone of them has their own life, their own different manors and favourites, their own messed-up families and their own secrets and sins. And there's a huge possibility that none of those people in that jam know anyone else, they probably have never even seen those other people. Yet life somehow brought them all to that same place at that exact time, just to spend that little moment together. And at that moment, they all hate the fact that there is that jam, but they forget that they're part of it, they all hate the fact there's a car in front of them, but they forget there's someone behind them in a car thinking the same. The moment doesn't take long, it's quickly over and then the people go to their separate ways, to live their own lives. That's like perfect example of the butterfly effect. We all think we're all alone and that what we do has no impact to anyone else's life, but damn!" Emilys eyes glimmered when she spoke and Gerard couldn't help but to stare back. "Why do people think that we have to do big things to make a difference? Or to save someone? That traffic jam right there could save someone from getting home too early to get stabbed by panicked burglar or give someone time to think that it's not that great idea to go cheat on your husband."
Silence between them wasn't awkward or oppressive. Gerard was so overwhelmed by her words that he just stared at her.
"I know it sounds stupid, but," Emily started. She was surprised that she had just told something like this to so a person she didn't know, when she hadn't even told this to her best friend.
"Don't, " Gerard said softly and smiled. What she had just said made so much sense that it almost hurt.


Frank Iero parked his car in front of his house and jumped out of it. He had promised to meet the guys at Mikeys place but he wanted to get a jacket on him. Because the weather report clearly wasn't reliable anymore, he had just a hoodie on him, but he was not going to get all wet off tonight. He got to the door, but when he was going to push the key to the lock, he noticed that the door was open.
Frank frowned and froze. Jamia was supposed to be visiting her mom, and even if she was home, she wouldn't have left the door open. Coldness twisted Franks stomach when he slowly pushed the door open only to find a total mess and chaos behind it.
"Jamia?" He cried out slowly.